Mad Season
by waitingfornow
Summary: Houston Morgan is a seventeen year old girl that has just been sent to Forks, Washington to live with a new foster parent. That's when she meets Edward Cullen, who unknowingly turns her world upside down.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys, this is my first attempt at a Twilight-based fan fiction. There are some differences between this and the books. Mainly I took Bella completely out of the story and made a whole new female lead. This was written for theraputic reasons after I kept having a series of dreams for about a week straight. I'm honestly terrified of posting this so please, be gentle? And forgive me but the chapters are going to be abnormally long, I write too much sometimes._

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

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**Chapter One:**

I was invisible. Sometimes, this was the exact way I liked things. To be able to just glide through existance with no one really remembering me. But there were other days when I craved the companionship. To have just one person that I could go to and talk to whenever things were going bad. But I couldn't. My life wasn't exactly set up for something like that. By the time I'd turned nine years old, I'd completely forgotten what it felt like to put down roots. It was all just temporary, almost as if life was trying to keep me on my toes and prevent me from perpetual boredom.

But if that was the case? I would've picked somewhere vastly different from my new foster home. Forks, Washington. It was right in the Olympic Peninsula with an average of more rainy days than sunny, dry ones. While I didn't really care about that since, well, the sun and I've never really got along; I still would've preferred somewhere that didn't make me feel like I was living on the edge of a waterfall. But over the past two months, I'd begun to adjust a little easier. I was already used to the cold weather thanks to a stint in Oregon, and one of the first things I realized about my new home was that I fit in pretty well. Maybe a little _too_ well.

People still talked about me as I traveled through the hallways, whispering behind my back about some of the new rumors that they'd heard. But again, something I'd already gotten used to. After all, this wasn't my first 'fresh start'. And that was exactly what my social worker called it every time I was pulled out of a home and shipped back to some group home while the State waited for another family to be able to house me. This time around, I'd gotten a little lucky in the family department. But only marginally.

The woman, Margie Banks, was a forty-something woman that had never been able to have children. She'd been married for about twenty years of her life until her husband, Daniel, unexpectedly died of heart disease. It was something they'd seen coming since the man didn't really know how to eat healthily. As a result, she'd started taking in teens that were considered unadoptable. By default, I'd been thrown into that category and as a result, propelled into Margie's life. For the most part, the daily routine of Margie's life was uneventful. She had a boyfriend that was considerably younger than her, aging closer to me than her but it never stopped her. The current boyfriend, Derrick, was a mechanic that hated the small town vibe of Forks. Not that I could nessessarily blame him, but that didn't form any common alliances between us.

He was tall and lanky, looking like he desperately needed a cheeseburger, or a dozen shoved down his throat. He worked all the time and always had grease coating his hands. The most I saw of him was when I would come home after school and see him sprawled out on the couch in his boxers. Enticing mental images he made...where Margie was concerned. As for myself? Boys didn't factor into the way I lived my life.

My last name changed when I was just seven years old. At first, I'd come into the world as Houston Elizabeth Sherwood. It was my father's surname, but I had no father to speak of when I came into the world in a Houston hospital. Hence my first name. It was almost as if I'd been embedded with my mother's history since the day I'd been born. My father, what little I knew of him, was an abusive drunk that my mom had known since she was fourteen years old. They'd been neighbors, families were very close, so it just seemed like fate that they would marry. They did and it eventually turned into hell for my mom. But she managed to get out of it, for my sake she'd always told me, and never looked back. He hadn't bothered to try and find us and by the age of seven, I wanted nothing to do with the father I now thought of as dead. At that age, my mom had tearfully given me her maiden name, transforming me to Houston Morgan instead. A name I liked and was much happier with. Plus it cut out on all the annoying Robin Hood jokes that the kids on the playground liked to torment me with.

But my mother had died shortly after and I was pushed into the system. I had no other family that would speak up for me, aside from an ailing uncle that was just as rich as he was sick. The offer had been made, for me to live with him, but I declined. I wanted nothing to do with his money and I didn't have it in me to take care of yet another family member. I'd been through enough with my mother's slow and agonzing death to last me two lifetimes.

Sighing as I walked into the house that was now considered my home, and would concievably be my home until my eighteenth birthday; I dropped my stuff off in my room then ventured into the kitchen. Of course, Derrick sat at the table, his grease-coated work shirt hanging open over his nonexistant chest and still tucked into the just-as-grimy work pants that he never seemed to watch. "Where's Margie?" I asked as I started to dig through a cabinet. For some odd reason, I was feeling hungry. But number one rule in Margie's house? She didn't cook. Everyone fended for themselves. In fact, I was the one in charge of the grocery shopping. _You're so much more responsible than I am, Houston._ Her exact wording just three days after I arrived at her home with my sole duffel bag.

A low grunt passed Derrick's lips as he watched my every move, his shoulders bouncing up into a shrug before he looked down at the bowl in front of him. Ramen noodles. That was pretty much what he lived off of and while I did enjoy the chicken-flavored noodles from time to time, they weren't a staple in my diet. When I was actually able to eat, that is. "Work." He finally answered, looking at me again before he staggered to his feet and put his bowl up.

Nodding, I just left the kitchen and shut myself up in my room. Even though Derrick slept in Margie's bed, that didn't stop his eyes from wandering. Quite a few times, one of Margie's friends had seen him eyeing me over the past two months. Something I knew wouldn't bode well. Foster mothers didn't like to compete with the girls they were bringing into their homes. But the thing that startled me the most was that he actually _was_ bothering to glance at me.

Really, there was nothing all that special about me. I was considered short, averaging about 5'5" on a good day. My passion for dance had kept my body slender and toned, until I hit the age of fourteen. Then everything changed. I stopped dancing and I finally started to get some sort of curve to my frame. But I still considered my pale skin, dull green eyes, and long, black hair increasingly boring. There were more attractive people in Forks. I wasn't on that list.

I threw myself onto my low futon bed with a sigh and buried my face in the dark blue comforter that Margie had bought specifically for me. She had a tradition in her home, whoever was given the 'good' bedroom was also allowed to pick out their own set of sheets. Of course, I'd gone for a dark color to contrast the grossly cheery decor. The walls were bright white with lace yellow curtains and wicker furnishings. While it was a pretty nice bedroom, I often felt like I was stuck in some kind of Disney bedroom. Like I was being molded into the child that never grew up. But as I flopped back onto my bed, I began to let my mind wander. I should've started on my homework, but the thought of school brought on a new set of thoughts that I really just did not want to think about. The list of beautiful people in my mind. A list I'd been trying all day, in vain, to ignore and forget about. Sadly, there wasn't much hope of that as I picked myself up off the bed and stumbled over to my desk. My laptop, which had been a gift from the ailing uncle, was pulled out of my school bag, along with the ancient, portable CD player that I'd held onto from my younger years. Once I had the comforting pressure of headphones pressing against my earlobes, with the mix CD I had put in, I found it pretty easy to forget everything I'd just been thinking about and threw myself head first into my school work. Even though people liked to call me a geek with no social life, my grades had never slipped out of the low A average range. Something I was proud of since I actually did want to make something of myself. I just had to figure out if I would get the chance to do that. Sometimes the future was uncertain when it came to me, which was probably why I had become so grateful for being invisible. It kept people away. People that might've eventually figured out how to worm their ways into my comfortable, solitary existance.

Of course, it was raining. Squinting as I walked through the parking lot of Forks High, I didn't bother to acknowledge the stares on my back as I trudged through the almost glacial sludge. I was just starting my senior year, but it was also my last year. Then I would be free. I could do whatever I wanted and more importantly, I could go wherever I wanted. I wouldn't be shipped off to another house, another family and town that was just as dreary as the last. But as I walked to my first class, I had the sudden, sinking feeling that I wasn't as invisible today as I normally was. That feeling only intensified when I stepped into my morning Calculus class.

Seated in the furthest chair in the corner, on the back row, James Dalton grinned from ear to ear and waved eagerly when he saw me enter the cramped classroom. "Hey Houston!" He called out loudly, as if I could ignore or actually _not_ hear his loud, boisterous voice. He actually wasn't that bad, all things considered. He was the typical good-looking boy that could have his pick of any girl in the four classes and knew it. His hair was cropped into a buzz cut, covering his head in dark brown fuzz. His eyes weren't anything special, the normal color of brown that I'd seen on countless boys before him. The only thing that really made James stand out was his height. He easily towered over just about every single person in this school. Save one person. One excruciatingly beautiful boy that I'd never even dared talk to. But yet I sat next to him every single day in Physics. Every time I chanced a glance in his direction, I saw the exact same thing. His fist curled tightly against his left thigh, his perfectly chisled face drawn tight as if he were trying not to even breathe around me. The one time he had even bothered to look over at me, the intense glare that filled his features immediately started haunting me. His eyes were coal black, anger and hatred oozing from every single pore in his alabaster skin, which was always partially ascued by shaggy, tousled, bronze hair.

Forcing the thoughts of the beautifully angry boy from my mind, I just smiled weakly as I went to join James. He always saved me a seat. Always, without fail. Even though he had heard me say repeatedly, in a round-about way, that he didn't stand a chance. No one did, if a person wanted to get technical. Not that I thought I was better than anyone in the town of Forks. I just didn't date. My mother's history had taught me that men, and boys especially, were not to be trusted. And I didn't really trust anyone. There was no one in my life _to _trust. "Hey James." I sighed as I slid into the vacant seat in front of him. That was my rule, I never sat beside him. I had a feeling the temptation to talk to me and potentially get me in trouble. I didn't take risk. In any way, shape, or form. My life was risky enough with all the uncertainty that surrounded me. "How was your weekend?"

And as if on cue, he began to rattle on about every single thing he'd done that weekend. James came from a normal household, one I'd never even known still existed until I moved to Forks and met him. His parents were still together and owned a local business. They weren't rich by any means, but it meant that James had his own car and was able to make some extra cash for himself. And he flaunted it quite regularly. Another thing that deepened my disinterest in him. Class started about halfway through his recap and I was thankfully saved from having to feign interest in the camping trip he, his brothers, and father had gone on. That was another thing I didn't do. Me and outdoorsy stuff, minus four-wheeling, just did not go hand-in-hand. I'd only found my interested in ATVs during a four-month-stay with a family in the outskirts of Wylie, Texas. The family I'd gone to stay with had about three acres of land and the only real way to get around the property was by the ATVs. It was the one place that had changed me more than any other on the map. And I'd been in some off-the-wall surroundings since entering the system.

Class seemed to drag on as I took meticulous notes. It kept James from talking to me and it would help if I ended up getting stumped on some homework problem later. But that very rarely happened. Another gift from my mother had come in the form of my intelligence. Even though I loved English classes the most, I seemed to excel in Math too. By the time the bell rang, my stuff was gathered and I was out the door before anyone had the option of even thinking about trying to talk to me. That was how I preferred things. People already talked about me as it was, varying from the way I looked to the way I dressed. Not that I ever gave it much thought, I didn't really think about anything concerning school. Gossip was a normal part of life, it just wasn't part of _my_ life.

The rest of the morning passed in a mindnumbing blur, the voices of my teachers blurring into each other as I acted like the perfect, quiet little student. It wasn't until lunch that my interest was actually piqued. James wanted me to sit with him and rather than argue and kick up a big mess; I caved and ate my lunch in silence. Usually. Today I wasn't hungry and I didn't even bother getting anything to drink. Instead of sitting in the thick of the group of people that comprised of James' friends, I sat on the edge of the table, leaning over with my hand clasped against the side of my neck with my nose in a book. It passed the time quicker than attempting to make small talk, something I'd always failed miserably at, and it kept me out of the conversations completely. That is until a girl from my English Lit class, Anabelle Sullivan caught my attention by nearly ripping my arm out of it's socket. "What?" I hissed at her, closing the book around my finger when I realized that she was trying to be discreet and tell me something at the same time. Not one of her strongest suits.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you."

My first instinct was to roll my eyes when she mentioned a boy staring at me. It was something that usually happened with a new move, but after about a week, the looks and curious stares usually stopped. I was nothing special and I made sure that everyone around me knew it. I hated being the center of attention. Loathed it with a deep and burning passion, actually. But again, Forks was different. A couple of boys from my classes couldn't take a hint and now I had some other guy staring at me. But my first instinct was ruled out when I realized I had absolutely no idea who she was talking about. I'd never met anyone by that name, a name I hadn't heard for a very long time. "Who?" I hissed out, making no effort to conceal my irritiation at the new topic of conversation. She could've at least given me the whole story instead of a clipped version.

But when I asked that one, simple question; she launched into the full story. "_Edward Cullen_. He's only one of the most anti-social people in this school, Houston." Yeah, as if _that_ narrowed it down for me! I guess she could tell that I still wasn't following and after an exasperated sigh and flip of her unruly blonde hair, she tilted her chin slightly as if to gesture around the room. I caught on that time and found myself looking over at the boy that sat next to me in Physics. Thankfully, from where I sat at least, he didn't look like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. He merely looked at me with a perplexed expression on his face. His head was tilted slightly to the side and I found myself unable to look away. But when he continued to stare a hole in me, I just raised an eyebrow slightly and let my chin fall into my hand. It was something I did in my last town whenever anyone would stare at me longer than the allotment of time I considered a grace period. I just didn't like being stared at, especially by someone who looked as complex as this guy did. When he didn't look away, my eyebrow inched even higher before I rolled my eyes and shoved the slip of paper that served as a bookmark into the thick volume in front of me. This week was _Atlas Shrugged _by Ayn Rand. An author that got me stared at just as much as my mere presence did.

"I'll see you later." I mumbled absently and grabbed my messenger bag off the back of my chair. Not bothering to look at Edward Cullen again, I did walk right past his table as I strode out of the lunchroom, my book resting against my thigh with my arm secured around it. I was going to be early for my next class, which just so happened to be the class where I had to share a desk with this boy, so putting my book away was pointless. It was just going to be taken out again anyway so that I could continue to get lost in a world where I wasn't gawked at or whispered about. Why did people like small towns again?! The reason was unfathomnable to me.


	2. Chapter 2

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

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**Chapter Two:**

"For the last time...!" The words passed my lips in a huff before I thought to swallow them back. Once again, Margie was at work and that left me alone. With Derrick. He'd called in sick and proceeded to spend the rest of the day getting drunk. As soon as I'd come in from school, I camped out at the dining room table in a vain attempt to get some of my homework done. To say that was actually going to happen? Was unclear but I was still trying as Derrick continued to stare at me as if I had no clothes on.

"I'm not doin' anything." He slurred, the accent he'd picked up from his last address causing his liquor-loosened words to become even more uncomprehensible. "I'm just layin' here."

Rolling my eyes, I just rubbed the back of my neck tiredly then started to pack my stuff up together. The target had been on Calculus, since that was the only class I normally had homework in, but Derrick's presence unnerved me to the point of not being able to concentrate. I had to get out of the room before I pissed him off and caused us both to start shouting at each other. He was just like my father had been in my mother's stories, unable to control his temper and not all that abashed by the thought of hitting a woman. Or in my case, girl. "Whatever you say." I muttered and hugged my books to my chest as I started across the living room. I had just reached the hall entrance when I heard the couch squeak and Derrick's hand wrap around my upper arm. I tensed without any real warning, letting the books I was carrying to drop to the floor as I whirled back around to face him. "Let me go." I warned as my voice slipped into a tone I very rarely used. At least, until I'd come to live with Margie. If it'd just been me and her? No problem. Derrick was the one that made my skin want to crawl right off my body.

"Stop being such a brat." His words were still slurred as he leaned closer to me, his grip on my arm tightening ever so slightly. I was almost sure that I would end up having a bruise there in the morning and mentally decided to wear a long sleeved shirt to school. "Why you gotta go around thinkin' you're better than everyone else?"

The alcohol rolling off his words made my stomach churn as I cringed and leaned my head away from him. "You're drunk, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh I think I do." He slurred again and for a split second, a condesending sneer distorted his features. My heart started to hammer in my chest as I watched him, only making a small sound when he suddenly pushed me away. I stumbled over the books I'd dropped and crashed to the floor hard. Hard enough to knock the wind out of me. Staying where I was for a second, he just glared at me before he turned abruptly and stumbled back over to the couch. "And clean up your mess. You know Margie doesn't like your crap all over the house."

I managed to swallow the words building up in my throat, quickly scooping up my books before I turned and lurched into my room. I was only able to stay in the safety of my four walls before my stomach began to contract again. Feeling familiar warning signs, I tossed my school stuff onto my bed and dashed for the bathroom. Derrick didn't even bother to look away from the TV as I crashed into the cramped bathroom and began to heave. The headache building behind my eyes was in the blinding stages now and pain surged up through my belly as I leaned over the toilet. While I hoped that it was because of Derrick's breath still in my nostrils, I had better sense than to just take that as the reason why I was getting sick for the first time in almost a year. I knew these symptoms like the back of my hand.

Slowly but surely, I regained my barings and managed to make it back into my bedroom. Forgetting all about homework, I just sighed and practically collapsed on my bed. I knew what I had to to do tomorrow and school was the furthest thing from my mind. I was going to have to do something I didn't like. Something I dreaded, in fact. Forcing it from my mind as I tried to relax, I shifted several times in bed to get comfortable. But it was all with no avail. Sleep just wasn't going to come fast enough and I knew better than to try and force it. Getting up long enough to grab my CD player and a random CD, I settled back down with a quiet sigh and pushed play once the headphones were back over my ears. But as I started to slowly drift off to sleep as the CD player churned out the third song in a row, I fell into an uneasy slumber with the distinct feeling that I was being watched.

The next morning dawned earlier than I would have ever liked. Like the day before it, the sky was overcast and I knew there was going to be a chance for rain. Dressing quickly, I paid no attention to the bruise on my arm, which was visible only if I went without my jacket and headed out into the main part of the house. Derrick was long gone and in a surprising turn of events, Margie was up and making breakfast.

"Morning Houston." She grinned from her place in front of the stove where bacon was frying. Instantly, the smell churned my stomach but I forced it down. I was determined to remain as normal as possible. It could've just been stress. Or at least, that was what my mind was desperately trying to convey to the rest of my body.

"Morning." I mumbled back and eased into the chair I'd been sitting in the night before. Margie was quick with a plate of breakfast, setting it down in front of me with a glass of milk before she bustled back over to the stove.

"You better get that down so you won't be late to school."

"Yeah," I muttered with a bit of a sigh as I pushed the scrambled egg around on my plate. "Heaven forbid I'm late for school." My stomach continued to knot up and churn as I briefly contemplated the possibilities of why Margie was cooking. That had been the first thing she told me when I arrived in Forks, claiming only to cook on special occasions. And since she still had no idea when my birthday was, I knew that was ruled out. She must've gotten laid. A thought that made me cringe even more than the thoughts I'd been trying not to delve into before.

Not bothering to even try to eat the plate of breakfast foods in front of me, I just carried it over to the stove with an apologetic smile on my face. "Give my half to Derrick, okay? I'm not feeling so hot this morning." It wasn't a complete lie and to emphasize that, I flashed her a semi-pained grin as my hand flattened over my stomach. She nodded in understanding as her hand fluttered over my shoulder. She muttered something about me getting a move on then suddenly brightened her mood considerably when Derrick chose right then to stumble into the kitchen. His drinking spree from the night before clogged the air and I had to move quickly to escape the house without losing what little dinner I'd eaten the night before.

School was relatively unimpressive as I trekked through my morning classes. James seemed to sense that something was up with me but kept his part of the conversation light when we were given time to actually speak to each other in a volume louder than whispers. I kept my jacket on throughout each class, claiming that I was afraid I was getting sick and was trying to ward it off. It also didn't help that my stomach was still rolling at unexpected intervals. It was as I entered my Physics class that the churning grew even more noticable.

Sitting in my seat, I just pushed the book I'd started over the weekend aside and rested my head on my folded arms. My jacket was off and tossed over my bag on the floor. But even as I was trying to keep down the lunch I'd only eaten to keep people from staring at me, I still heard the familiar scraping of wood on linoleum as my lab partner found his seat next to me.

"You okay?" His voice was like a beautiful melody as it filled my ears and caused me to look up quickly. The first thing I noticed when my eyes caught his was the change in color. Surely I hadn't been dreaming when I saw the black irises on my very first day. The only day I'd ever really been able to be up close and make eye contact with this beautiful boy. Today, the irises were like golden honey, swimming in concern and uncertainty.

"Fine." I muttered absently and forced my head to nod just slightly. The action would make my new headache worse and I wasn't about to risk fainting in class. That'd happened one time before and it was really one time too many. Laying my head back on my arms, I couldn't help but sigh a little as a small amount of relief surged through me. My body liked this position and I would stay that way for as long as possible.

Edward Cullen didn't look away from me until ten minutes after class had started. The teacher, Mr. Varton; was rattling on about something I had already learned in my last school so I didn't really have to force myself to pay too much attention to him. I still had notes from the last lecture I'd been given so I knew any homework I recieved would be do-able. But when he broke and sectioned us into our pairs for a joint chapter worksheet, I pulled my head off my arm and clapped my hand against the back of my neck for support as I hazily watched the teacher pass the small packets out.

"You really don't look so good." Again, his voice hit my ears and sent shivers down my spine. I'd never heard a voice like his before, a tone that laced gracefully through syllables and accents that I had never really heard before. Not in this time period at least.

"It's nothing." I waved his comment off mentally and kept my eyes on the desk as the stapled pile of papers landed in front of us. Pulling it over, I sighed and moved my hand to my forehead as I started to flip through my book absently. My skin was starting to burn and I could feel beads of sweat forming against my hairline. A definite sign that all was not right with my body. But before I could even concentrate on that, or the worksheet now between me and Edward, a new topic was brought to our attention.

"What happened to your arm?" Swearing fluently, yet mentally, I sat up long enough to remember the light purple bruise that encased my lower bicep. The finger lines were distinct against my nearly translucent skin and I knew I couldn't play this off as some clumsy accident. Derrick's hand on my arm was too defined for that.

Shrugging, I just glanced up at him but was immediately thrown off when I saw his expression. Anger mixed with burning curiosity caused the sharp contours of his face to become even more defined. His prominant jaw was tensed as his Adam's Apple bobbed delicately in his throat with every swallow he took. Even without the anger stressing his gorgeous features, I would know he was angry just by how many times his throat clenched. "Fight." I muttered, my voice sounding uncertain and far away as I continued to stare at him. His eyes began to grow darker now, almost to the point of smoldering as he leaned closer to me. The realization of his proximity caused me to bolt upright in my chair, remembering suddenly that he never got this close to me before. Every other class, when he was in school anyway, he was at the very edge of the desk, as far away from me as he could get with his fist clenched and his body rigid and frozen.

"Sorry." He muttered and his cool breath washed over my features in an instant. Even though I'd pulled away, it wasn't enough to put distance between us that would prevent us from breathing on each other.

My stomach clenched again, violently this time and I quickly jerked my head away with a wince. It wasn't because of him, or because of the scent his breath carried into my nostrils. That scent had actually calmed the dull ache in my head and abdomen long enough for me to feel almost normal. If only for a minute. The clenching of my stomach was completely involuntary and when I felt like I could move again without heaving all over myself, I cast him a sheepish look. "Sorry too." I muttered then sighed and ran my hand over my forehead, pulling it away to reveal my fingers now slick with my own sweat. One quick look to my left brought me out of my own thoughts when Edward was suddenly on the other side of the table again, fist tightened and body rigid. I hated seeing that sight, I hated seeing someone so repulsed by me. And really, that was how he looked. His face was contorted in even more anger and he made absolutely no move to try and hide the expression.

That caused a violent shiver to rip through me, easily recognizable as a convulsion as I tucked my body toward the table. I had to get out of the classroom, and fast. My hands moved at blinding speed, clumsy as I shoved my stuff into my bag and vaulted off my stool. The teachers all knew about my past and my tendencies of getting sick, each one had been aptly warned that if I needed to leave at a moment's notice, I could. So once I'd caught Mr. Varton's eye and gestured at the door, I disappeared. The icy wind outside nearly knocked me sideways but I kept moving. Thankfully, Margie's house was only located a few blocks from the school so it wasn't really that much of a walk when I considered that the parking lot and conjoining street in front of the school made up most of the distance.

By the time I was inside the warm house and locked in my bedroom, away from the sounds of Margie and Derrick _enjoying_ themselves in the other part of the house, I realized that I'd left my jacket on the floor of the Physics room. Groaning almost as loudly as Margie was, I cringed then quickly shed my jeans and sneakers and burrowed under the thick blankets on my bed. The nausea was gripping me much more forcefully now and I had no choice but to try and relax. And hope that it went away. Maybe it was just an actual illness, mixed with the stress of finding my place in a new town. I hoped, in vain, that it was but deep in the back of my mind, I knew better. Yet, as I lay there in bed, curled tight into a ball with my forehead resting against my knees and completely hidden under the blankets; I knew that I wouldn't be doing what I needed to this time around. This time, I would silently be suffering. Not telling a soul what was going on within my tiny body.


	3. Chapter 3

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

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**Chapter Three:**

I ended up not being able to get my jacket back until three days after I'd bolted from class. I felt bad about leaving Edward to do the worksheets on his own but there was no way I would've been any real help to him. My mind just couldn't deal sometimes. But I finally forced myself back into the room three days later, the bruise on my arm fading into my skin underneath the thick, oversized black sweater I'd paired with jeans that had honestly seen better days. Another thing my budget didn't cover? New wardrobes. All the clothes I currently owned, which could be shoved into one duffel with room to fit my small collection of CDs and CD player, had been bought for a sweet sixteen present. They'd been a gesture from the single father I'd been living with and I was so grateful for the clothes that I quickly tried to abolish his guilt when he told me they'd come from thrift stores. I would've shopped in a thrift store anyway if the money had just been put directly into my hand.

I was so caught up in my memories that for the first time, I didn't hear Edward's arrival. He seemed to simply materialize beside me, looking more like a Calvin Klein model than a high school senior as he got ready for the day's lesson. "You're back." He noted quietly, his voice still carrying the intoxicating melody that had haunted my dreams over the past two nights. Along with his breath blowing against my face and nearly freezing my brain.

Nodding, I risked a glance at him before it gave way to another of my sheepish smiles. Something I'd been handing out like candy over the day. "Yeah, sorry about the other day. I...didn't mean to stick you with all the work."

"It's nothing to apologize for." He let out an effortless chuckle after his perfectly enunciated words and smiled at me warmly. "Trade off considering all the times I've left you without a lab partner."

"Where do you go on those days?" I found the question passing my lips almost effortlessly as I continued to stare at him. His facial features tensed for a brief moment before smoothing out into the smile he'd been wearing just moments before.

"My family and I go hiking when the weather permits. They're so rare that we take all the opportunities we can." His smile grew a little more at the mention of his family and I briefly remembered the 'Cullen history', as I called it, that Anabelle had filled me in on the day I'd disappeared during class.

"You're adopted, right?" Again, words were flowing into the air against my power and my expression turned curious as my eyes flickered over every single line of his face. No tensing this time. That meant that he wasn't angry by my observation. His family and, at least this part of his past, was a safe topic. Something I was extremely grateful for since I now found myself hideously curious by him now.

He seemed to share my sentiment as his gaze fixed on me. His eyes were still the same golden hue that they'd been the last time I saw him, and I found myself wondering suddenly what it would be like to just get lost in them. To let myself go and stare at him the way I wanted. But I surpressed it. "I am." He finally conceeded, inclining his head slightly. But I could tell the faint flicker in the smile that looked permanantly glued to his face now.

"Do you remember your parents?" I wasn't really sure why I was asking that question. In all my time in foster care, I'd never really met anyone that emerged from the system as well adjusted as this boy seemed. For all intents and purposes, from where I sat at least, he had been one of the lucky ones.

"Not really." The grin finally faded from Edward's face as he contemplated my question. His exquiste features morphed into an almost pained expression for mere seconds before the lines in his face smoothed out into the marble complection that I suddenly found myself envying. Even when he was grimacing or looking at me with hatred burning in his eyes, he was breath-takingly beautiful. "I was pretty young when they died. Carlisle and Esme, my adopted parents, they're the only family I've known for so long. Sometimes it's just difficult to remember your life before they came into it."

Nodding in spite of myself, I just bit down lightly on the corner of my lower lip then tilted my head sideways as I continued to look at him. "You're lucky." I mused almost silently. I would be honestly surprised if he could've even heard what I had just said. I'd barely heard it myself and the words passed _my_ lips.

"Really?" His expression turned perplexed now as his eyes darted over my own facial features. First they roamed my close-set green eyes, then my cheeks that were hollowed out ever so slightly, lips that people often described as full and pouty, then finally my chin, which was just as prominant as my cheekbones. Nothing nearly as noticable as Edward's features, but at least I hadn't hit the gaunt stage of my life yet. "How so?"

"Simple," I started then shrugged as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, my arms folding into one another as I leaned against the countertop. It was my way of silently playing off the pain flaring in my belly, pain that I'd already grown acustomed to after years of living with it. It barely registered sometimes when it was in a dull ache like it was right then. "You found people to love you. Some foster kids never get that lucky."

I could tell he wanted to say something, the words seemed right on the tip of his tongue, but he suddenly pursed his lips together and faced the front of the class. I let shock and rejection wash over me for a brief second then realized he had turned to face that way because of Mr. Varton. Our little moment of opening up was over, it was time to remember where we were and that we weren't exactly alone. So I copied his actions, leaning over my book with my arm pushing into my stomach as I kept my weight on it. For the rest of the hour, I refused to let myself look at Edward Cullen.

When class finally did end, giving us the outline of our upcoming project, I felt even more fear flooding through my system as I slowly walked out of class. Edward and I would have to get together outside of the classroom in order to accomplish this project. It counted for half our grade and I still hadn't been able to figure out a way around this little predicament. Not that I was ashamed of Margie or where I lived, I could just tell that Edward came from a significantly different lifestyle. After all, he wore designer clothes and drove one of the most expensive looking cars in the school parking lot, a shiny, silver Volvo S60 R. I could thank the time I spent with a mechanic and his wife for my knowledge of cars. He was so completely different from me that the opposites were almost scary sometimes.

Not getting too far from the door, I jumped in surprise when Edward suddenly appeared beside me. He moved deceptively quick for a boy his age, but one of the first things I'd ever learned about Edward Cullen, all of the Cullens really, was that appearances were very misleading. They may have looked like models in a normal world, I could just tell that there was something lurking beneath the surface. Especially Edward. "Houston?" He called out, keeping his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his leather jacket as he fell into step beside me. The cold wind whipping around us reminded me that I still hadn't gotten my jacket back, I had no idea where it was, and I was having to skip my last class of the day for a doctor's appointment. Good thing I already had my lies practiced and set.

"Yeah?" I stopped and ducked behind a building so that it would cut off some of the bite from the wind and squinted up at him, some of my hair falling into my eyes as my head unconsciously tilted. Had he always been this tall?! I wasn't sure.

"About the project..." Edward trailed off and gestured behind him toward the building our last class had just taken place in. "Would you like to study at your house, the library, or mine?"

Curiosity instantly gnawed at me when he mentioned his house. The reclusive Cullen mansion that no one in Forks had ever seen. Swallowing it back, I just shrugged and reached up to tuck my hair behind both of my multi-pierced ears. I wore very little jewelry now, four earrings in my right ear and three in my left, as well as the ring that had belonged to my mother. It had been a wedding band of sorts, after she left my father, she found it at a pawn shop and wore it religiously. Her way of keeping unwanted attention at bay as well as reminding herself of the promise she'd made when I was born. The promise she had never confided in me. But even though I didn't know the real reason behind the simple, silver band; I hadn't taken it off since my fourteenth birthday; when my fingers had finally grown thick enough to keep the ring in place on the third finger of my left hand. I was carrying on tradition in a sense. "Wherever you want is fine with me." I nodded and bounced my shoulders up into a shrug as I shoved my fingers into the front pockets of my jeans, first my right shoulder then my left rising before falling back into my body.

A ghost of a chuckle whirled around us as he looked around at the students milling around. But then his features twisted again, almost revealing some kind of inner struggle that he was battling. While the look on his face made my stomach churn, I just stood there in front of him; shivering in the cold with my hands tucked closely to my sides. "You always this complicated when it comes to simple questions?"

"It depends on the person asking the question." I muttered without a second thought and shrugged again. "Maybe you just don't know how to ask the _right_ questions. Or you haven't figured out the formula for actually getting me to talk."

Again, I was greeted with another chuckle as he shook his head slightly, his bright copper hair gliding through the breeze even more. I was quickly struck by the urge to run my fingers through the tousled locks, but I kept myself in check. The wind helped and even though I had to get going soon, I suddenly didn't want to leave. I found myself liking Edward's presence more than I probably should have. "We'll talk about it in class tomorrow?" He offered, holding his elbows out against his sides as he bowed at the waist ever so slightly.

Snickering in spite of myself, I just nodded then started to head in the opposite direction of where the gym, my last class of the day, was. "Sounds like a plan then. But I'll tell you right now? Anywhere but my house." And with that, I turned on my heel and started to walk through the outdoor hallways that would lead me in the direction of my next destination. I was seriously considering trying to secure a part-time job, or at least some way to bring money in so that I could afford a way to get around. Even if it was a ten-speed bicycle. I didn't care at this point. I just needed something. But again, the wind shifted beside me and Edward reappeared, looking unaffected by the chilly October day as he covered my shoulders with his jacket.

"If you're going to ditch, you should at least be warm." He was teasing me! Oh good, at least someone was finding the humor in my misfortune. "And by the way? I put your coat in my car. You can reclaim it anytime you want."

In spite of that, I slipped my arms through the sleeves of his jacket and sighed quietly when his scent enveloped me. Even though the leather was still cold and held no kind of body heat, which startled me a little; I didn't want to give his coat back just yet. Even though I figured he would soon be freezing in the simple cable-knit sweater he wore over his jeans. "Thank you." I muttered then slowed my pace when my worn Converse skid across the asphalt of the parking lot. "But shouldn't you get to class? I have an actual reason for not going. You don't."

"Of course I do." He was suddenly beaming down at me, his perfectly straight, blindingly white teeth glittering dangerously in the dim amount of sunlight. I unconsciously took a step back then squinted up at him as if he'd grown another head or something.

"And that would be...?" Trailing off, I waved my hands slightly in front of me. As if that would get him to talk faster or something.

"Well, you're leaving campus. Which means you'll need a ride. I'm offering since I know enough about you to know that you don't own a car."

Damn him! He had me there. And he had a working heater. But as I looked up at him again, I saw an expression that I'd never really seen before. I wasn't sure if it was my overactive imagination at work or something completely different, but he almost looked _hopeful_ that I wouldn't take him up on his offer to drive me. Based on that look alone, I waited until we had reached his car and jackets were back with rightful owners before I addressed his offer. Shrugging into my jacket, I shivered again and forced myself not to frown when the scent that clung to his jacket was no longer circling me in an enticing bubble. "Um," Why simple speech was suddenly so difficult around him, I had no idea. But I pushed on, even when he suddenly turned and was facing me again. "I can't ask you to do that for me. See, I have a doctor's appointment and I honestly don't know how long it's going to take." Shrugging sheepishly, I just gestured behind me toward the campus and let my hand fall back to my side. "I know you take your sister home from school and I don't want to be the reason she has to walk home."

"My sister has another way of getting home." He explained and, yet again, I saw the tiniest flicker of relief cross his face. I wasn't really sure why it was so easy for me to notice the changes in his features, but I idly began to wonder if that was the same for everyone he came across. Mainly his family since I'd yet to see him actually converse with anyone else at school. "But if you don't want a ride, I won't push it. I just happen to know you'll have quite a walk ahead of you if you decide to decline my offer."

Again his words sounded like something out of a classic novel. The connotations and flow didn't match anything in the time we were currently encased in. That was just one of many things that threw me when it came to trying to figure him out. The top of the list? The changes in his eye color. Falling silent, my gaze flickered from the car, whose passenger door was now open and waiting for me, and back up to his face. "Okay." I caved and pulled my bag off my shoulder as I started to move toward where he stood, holding the door open for me like a true gentleman. Another thing that threw me. "But if you have to leave? Do it, you don't owe me anything."

The corners of his lips twitched in a tale-tell sign that he was fighting a smile as I slid into the passenger seat and hugged my bag into my lap. "I make no promises." He amended then before I knew it, he had my door closed and was already moving gracefully around the vehicle. It literally broke my heart, as a dancer, to see him move as stealthly as he did, almost as if there was no effort involved in his movements. The only thing that seemed forced was his pace, making him look uncomfortable to be moving so slow. But I didn't say anything as he slid in behind the wheel and brought the Volvo's engine to life. The expensive stereo kicked on at once and I couldn't help the blink that crossed my features when I heard the song he'd last been listening to. He glanced over at me once we were out on the road and his expression screamed his amusement as he took in my reactions. "You all right?"

"Just...surprised." I mused and stared at him for a moment before I unwillingly focused on the windshield in front of me, my fingers twisting nervously together as he sped through the semi-crowded streets of Forks.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him nod but was suddenly struck silent when he threw a question at me, instead of waiting for me to elaborate on my surprise. "Can I ask why you're going to the doctor?"

"Routine checkup." I lied, easily keeping my face unreadable as I looked at him again. "My social worker sets it up so that he can make sure I'm still good."

"Good?" There was that perplexed expression again, marring his features as he glanced at me. His left hand was thrown casually over the steering wheel while his right lay over the gearshift, fingers relaxed against the buttons of the stereo in case he wanted to change the track.

Nodding, I swallowed thickly and reclined a little more in the seat, resting my head against the back of my bucket seat. "Good as in drug-free and not sick." I gave him the edited version, telling myself that I wasn't lying to him. And technically, I wasn't. I'd never been one for narcotics of any kind, even the ones perscribed to me, and the sickness thing? Well, it wasn't a complete stretch. The silence fell after my answer and I had just started to relax a little when he smoothly manuevered into the parking lot of Forks' only hospital. We parked and I quickly got out, swinging my bag over my shoulder in case Edward would need to escape quickly. Or wanted to. Whichever came first.

As I walked through the large sliding glass doors, I couldn't help but shiver a little when something cold touched my back. Jumping forward a bit, I looked behind me and was instantly met by Edward's look of apology. His hand was still against the small of my back and we'd just come from outside. Where he'd spent at least a good five minutes with no jacket on. Of course his hands would be cold. "Sorry," He flashed me a crooked little grin and let his arm fall to his side. "I didn't think my hands would be cold."

I just nodded and tried to force away the small jolts of electricity his touch had sparked underneath my layers of clothes. Reaching the front desk, I had just given my name to the nurse when Edward's name rang out clearly through the slightly crowded waiting area. I whiped around and gasped quietly in surprise when a painstakingly beautiful man with blonde hair and alabaster skin advanced on us. He was grinning calmly and reached Edward first. When they embraced briefly, I realized who the man must be and dutifully stepped forward when I was beckoned to Edward's side.

"Houston, I'd like you to meet my father, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle, this is Houston Morgan. We go to school together." Nearly all traces of formalities faded from his voice as he spoke of his adopted father and I could only smile and shake the doctor's hand in greeting.

"Pleasure to meet you, Houston." He smiled warmly at me, which was a striking contrast against his cold hand in mine. I didn't jump back this time like I had with Edward and for that, I was grateful.

"Nice to meet you too, Dr. Cullen." I flushed, doing my best to remember the manners my mother had taught me when she was still alive.

"Oh," He laughed lightly and waved his hand with a quick flick of his wrist. "Please call me Carlisle." When I mumbled out my acceptance of that, he turned and looked disapprovingly at his son. "And do you care to tell me why you're not in school, young man?"

Again, Edward was fighting a grin as he tried to look apologetic. "Houston needed a ride to school. I couldn't let her walk all the way here."

"Oh!" Surprise flickered across the handsome doctor's face and my cheeks flamed even more as I stared fixatedly at the ground. Had I been thinking clearly back at the school, I would've remembered that his father worked here and demanded that he stay behind and attend his last class of the day. "Well that was very generous of you, Edward. And an answer I can't be angry with."

My eyes flew up to meet the doctor's and I was struck instantly when I noticed his eye color for the very first time. The exact same color as Edward's. Just as I opened my mouth to respond in some way, a nurse called my name from behind me. Turning around dumbly, I just nodded when she motioned for me to follow her. I was only stopped by Edward's still-cold hand gently gripping my arm. Looking up, my eyes widened unconsciously when I saw a gentle smile on his face.

"I'll hang on to your bag."

"Oh, okay." I muttered dumbly and dug through it long enough to pull the book I'd been carrying around in a deathgrip then handed the wide, black bag over. My jacket was also claimed, then I was free to follow the nurse back into an examination room. While I was grateful for Edward's generosity and willingness to wait for me while I was checked out, I couldn't push away the nagging fear that was beginning to settle in the back of my mind. I didn't want anyone to know about this part of my life. About the monthly visits I had to keep so that my health could be monitored. What made things even more uncomfortable was the fact that Edward's very own father was a doctor here. As I settled on the exam table, crinkling the paper as I moved carefully in the gown they'd given me to change into, I let my mind wander as I tried to sort through the things that would probably end up bothering me for days to come. And of course, every single one of them centered around the boy that'd suddenly began talking to me out of nowhere.


	4. Chapter 4

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

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**Chapter Four:**

To say that the past few days had been excrutiating was the understatement of the century. Not only had I been forced to wait that long for my test results, but Margie had begun to work longer hours. That meant, of course, more time spent under the scrutinizing glare of Derrick. He was getting better at imagining me naked, I would have to give him that. And the only reason I knew he was doing this was because of him trying to walk in on me in the shower one morning before school. But now I didn't have the luxury of escaping to school. It was Saturday, the last Saturday we had before our big Physics project was due. We were halfway finished with the project and Edward had told me that we wouldn't have to spend such long hours together for very long. But I'd found myself not minding all that much. I was beginning to feel safe in Edward's presence, something I wasn't entirely sure of as a good thing or bad. The only logical choice had been to study at his house. The library didn't have what we needed and my house was just too cramped to fit us both, plus Derrick's unwanted glare. He had more room in his family's home, he'd explained and later confirmed when he took me on a tour. We'd ended up in his room, which looked weird considering the decor, but I didn't press on it.

Images of his room had joined his expressions and voice in my thoughts. Every night, without fail, I dreamed about the four walls of his bedroom, one a window that encased the entire back of the house. The walls were draped in dark gold tapestries, the carpet a similar yet lighter color, and his walls looked more like an extensive record store than a seventeen-year-old boy's bedroom. But the thing that had honestly surprised me the most was the absence of a bed. Instead, there was just a wide, black leather couch pushed up against the wall facing the large window. I'd asked Edward about it, briefly, and he just claimed that he'd fallen in love with the couch too much to consider getting a bed. Plus he claimed to hate cluttered space and in the expansive layout of his room, I believed it.

Gathering up my school books, I tried to be as quiet as possible as I moved through the house. If I went through the woods, my walking time to Edward's tree-shrouded property was considerably lessened. But when I got to the front door, Derrick stumbled out of the kitchen.

"And she finally leaves her room!" He bellowed and I could smell the stench of alcohol from where I stood. Grimacing against the large wooden door, I slowly turned and faced him with a bored expression on my features. "And she's carrying books." He continued to sneer as he stumbled even more into the living room. I didn't know how much he'd had to drink and honestly, I didn't care. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen Derrick Lawson actually sober.

"I told you, project to finish." I lied easily, keeping my facial features arranged carefully as he leaned over me now, one hand bracing himself against the door beside my head. I couldn't escape when he stood like that but with the alcohol smelling like it was just pouring out of his skin, I knew it wouldn't take much to stun him long enough for me to run.

"Don't buy it." He grumbled and shook his head slightly, giving me clear access to his bloodshot eyes. I just looked away, not wanting the vivd mental reminders of Edward's eyes. The eyes of his entire family and how different they were from Margie's and Derrick's.

"I gotta go." I sighed and turned my shoulder into the door so I could turn and get out. Of course, Derrick wasn't having that and I flinched in surprise when his hand suddenly bounced off the door loudly.

"I say when you get to leave." He growled and reached up with his free hand to roughly grab my chin. Forced to look at him now, I just stood there, clutching my bag to my chest desperately as I waited for whatever it was he was going to do. I could already feel a bruise forming under Derrick's touch but I paid it no mind. I just wanted _away_ from him at this point!

"Please?" I begged, my voice dropping into a whisper. He only responded by releasing my jaw long enough to bring his hand back. It connected with my cheek hard and tears instantly welled up in my eyes. Pushing the shoulder that wasn't leaning against the door against him, I managed to get him off balance long enough for him to clear the door. I didn't think twice or even look back as I wrenched the heavy wood from it's frame and flung myself outside. I heard him screaming out on the porch as my feet began to echo against the pavement. The neighbors would come out and see what was going on and I reached back to pull the hood of my sweatshirt over my head and ducked into the woods. Walking blindly, I was finally made aware of the stinging sensation flooding through my cheek and my eyes were still filled with tears. I managed to blink those back as I continued to move through the wooden area. I wasn't going to stop until I felt like a safe enough amount of distance was between myself and Derrick. I didn't know if he'd ever hit Margie like he'd just hit me and I blindly began to hope he hadn't. I could handle him beating me around but I didn't want Margie to have to suffer through that. And I couldn't tell her either. I knew who's side she would take and I had a sinking suspicion that it wouldn't be mine.

Finally, my agonizingly slow pace led me to the clearing that introduced the Cullen house. I'd found a shortcut and hadn't even known it. Keeping my hood drawn over my head, I just stumbled onto the porch and knocked lightly before taking a step back. My bag was still clutched to my chest, hair falling in front of my face in a haphazard, windblown disarray but I made no move to clean myself up. It would just be a wasted effort anyway on the family that was too perceptive for their own good at times.

I'd hoped that when the door opened, it would be someone other than Edward. He was the most observant when it came to me and I knew his eyes would quickly fall on my redden cheek and jawline. I didn't know what I was going to say if he asked what happened but I was pretty sure I would just end up making something up off the top of my head. Suddenly, I wondered how crippling it would be to have the entire town think of me as some kind of clutz. At least it would be better than the alternative, right? No one really needed to know that my foster mother's boyfriend was putting his hands on me. When he wasn't imagining me naked, that was. But my hope diminished considerably when Edward was the one to pull the front door open, surprise flickering across his face before concern completely took over. It was clear in his eyes, which were a little darker now than before, and laced through every creased feature on his face. "Houston? You okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded and forced a small smile onto my features as I reached up to push back stray hairs. It was quickly something I wished I hadn't done because when my hand swept over my sore cheek, I winced and deftly dropped my hand. "I'm sorry to just drop by but I figured maybe we could go ahead and finish up that project? I probably should've called in case you had something to do but..." Trailing off, I forced myself to shut up long enough to look up at him clearly. The cynical part of my mind was desperate to break to the surface as my cheek continued to burn in pain, wanting to just convince myself that he was only allowing me into his house because of some grade.

But yet I found myself walking across the treshold anyway, his eyes and face inviting as he held his arm out in greeting. "I actually wasn't doing anything. But something tells me that you didn't come here just to study."

His words stopped me cold and when I twisted around to look up at him, the hood of my sweater dropped against my shoulderblades. My hair was a mess of tangles down my back but I didn't care. All I really did care about was my exposed left cheek. I could only imagine what it looked like. And almost on cue, Edward was leaning over me like Derrick had been. I recoiled quickly, ducking my face unconsciously toward my shoulder as I twisted again. Edward noticed and backed away from me, his hands burrowing deeply into his pockets. "I guess that answers the question I wanted to ask." His voice was dark and quiet in my ears, still twisting into the familiar melody of my dreams. Only, the playback in my mind never seemed to do him any sort of justice.

I wanted to say something, anything, to negate what had just happened. But in that moment, I realized we were no longer alone. Alice had flittered into the room, grinning from ear to ear as she bounded toward the couch gracefully. A tall and lean blonde boy was behind her, nearly grimacing as he settled onto the couch as well. Confusion furrowed my brow when I pulled my eyes from them and looked up at Edward. He just shook his head slightly, only grabbing my hand to pull me upstairs when Alice cheerfully welcomed me back to the house. I threw my free hand up in a greeting once my bag was on my shoulder and followed Edward to his room in bewildered silence.

No one said anything until we were in his room and the door was closed behind us. I could tell his features were stressed again just by the way he was moving. The lines underneath his solid black tee shirt were even more defined than before, but he still looked more like a model than a teenage boy. "Sorry about downstairs." I muttered helplessly as I dropped my bag to the floor and moved to shrug out of my zip-up sweater. The sweater I always wore, no matter what the weather was like. "I just...haven't had a good morning, that's all."

"When are you going to tell me what was going on?" His tone wasn't accusing as he turned and slowly faced me, easing his long, lean body onto one side of the couch while my legs curled me toward the floor. Sitting Indian-style on the plush carpet, I just shrugged and looked down as I reached for my bag. Edward moved quickly, and I would've been able to see his quickness clearly had I been looking up. But in the next moment, he was on the floor beside me, one hand stretched over my bag in a silent way to get me to stop moving. I did and looked up at him with a quiet sigh. "What do you want me to say, Edward? We're lab partners, that's it, okay? Besides, why do you care if I walk around looking like trash?"

"I care because it's not what you deserve." He practically growled the words out and I flinched in sheer reaction to the tone of his voice. I'd never really seen him be vocally mad but I was quick to assert that I would have much rather _seen _him angry than heard him. I could deal with the glares much better.

Rolling my eyes was another reflex reaction, something I wasn't even aware of doing until I was still again. "No one ever said life was fair, Edward. My life...nothing in it screams fairness." I went on with a small shrug of my shoulders as I slowly slid my bag into my lap. "Not everyone gets as lucky as you. No one gets the fairytale where they meet the people that are going to take care of them and watch out for them when no one else is able to do it. Not everyone gets a second chance at the perfect family picture. You're a rare exception, trust me when I say that. So please, can we just finish this project then I promise you can go back to ignoring me or whatever it was you were doing when I first arrived in Forks."

The expression that flashed over his face was crippling and the decision to never remind him of that again was suddenly confirmed in my mind. Even though I didn't know anything about him, and he knew even less about me, I realized that I didn't want to hurt him. More importantly, I _couldn't._ I would never be able to hurt the beautiful boy sitting in front of me. At least, intentionally. But unintentional pain was inflicted all the time. And always by the most unsuspecting of people. Pushing those thoughts from my mind, I just sighed and dropped my head, my hair framing my bruised cheek from view. But I still saw it when Edward tensed visibly then got up to collect his own books. Suddenly, I was more confused than ever. On one hand, he looked like he really wanted to get to know me, to talk to me normally and have things resemble more of a friendship than a partnership. But then moments like that, where he would tense up and look like I was the most vile creature on the planet, came in and ripped things apart. I honestly didn't know what to do. Or more importantly, what I _wanted_ to do. Spending time with Edward Cullen was dangerous, I could sense that in every second that I was around him. But for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why that was. What it was about him that made him so dangerous to me. But yet at the same time, safe.

Shaking my head mentally, mainly to clear away the invisible cobwebs, I dug a stack of papers out of my bag and stretched my legs out in front of me, crossing my ankles with my feet pointed outward slightly. I felt eyes on me then and looked up to see Edward looking at my sneakered feet curiously. "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?" I asked, oblivious to his entire point.

"That." He set the book he'd been holding in his lap then pointed at my feet.

Blushing deeply, I probably managed to disguize the forming bruise on my cheek beautifully. I'd never realized that I sat that way. "Oh. I used to dance. Old habit."

"Dance?" Edward's lips twisted up into a light smile as he completely forgot about the book resting against his thighs and leaned toward me curiously. "What kind of dance?"

"Everything." I shrugged and easily turned so that I could lean back against the couch behind us. I tried not to pay attention to the fact that I was now sitting right beside him, instead concentrating as my legs were pulled up and my heels began to dig into the carpet slightly. "I started out in Ballet then eventually moved on to study a little bit of everything."

"Do you still dance?"

"No." The answer was more clipped than I'd intended, suddenly hoping against hope that I didn't sound so final he would not want to ask me another question. The hardness of my expression softened as I looked over at him and lifted one corner of my mouth into a bit of a sheepish smile. "Sorry, sore subject."

"Understandable." He nodded, looking much too compassionate. But my bitter answer didn't stop him from asking more questions. "But can I ask what made you have to go into foster care?"

"My mom died." I sighed, hating that I was having to talk about this. The memory of my mother's death, while sometimes hazy, was still very painful. Talking about it always equaled ripping open an old wound that had almost healed completely. And then the subject of my father was never touched. Ever. He was just as dead to me as my mother was. "Dad too, I never knew him though."

"We have too much in common." When I heard the quietness in his voice, I honestly wasn't sure if I was even supposed to hear that. But I let it go, not wanting to push the spotlight off of me and cast it on him. I'd never really been a curious person before but Edward was fastly changing that for me. I was more curious about him than I'd ever been about anyone else in my life. Something I was sure would ultimately lead to be a very bad thing for me.


	5. Chapter 5

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

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**Chapter Five:**

Losing track of time at Edward's house was so effortless that I sometimes wondered how I could get so wrapped up in schoolwork around him. But because of all the time I'd spent at his house, we had the project finished by the time I left that night. Of course, Edward had insisted on driving me home. It was getting dark and I didn't need to be in the woods alone. Especially at night. Something about the way he said those words made me believe him completely and I accepted the ride with no real arguement on my side. I hated feeling like I was burdening him, but I was grateful for the heater that kept me warm as we drove back into Forks.

I waited until the very last possible second to show Edward exactly where I lived. I had no idea if Derrick was home or not and I didn't want Edward to be seen giving me a ride home. The knowledge would become more harmful than appeasing. But luckily, Derrick's truck was gone as the Volvo smoothly eased to a stop in front of Margie's cluttered little house. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I turned to face Edward again but froze with my hand on the doorknob. He was leaning toward me, his eyes on the house. But in that moment, I remembered how I'd reacted when he had leaned in like this during class. The chills that shot through me, the feel of his breath against my skin. Everything. It all came rushing back to me, but instantly vanished when his orcher eyes came to rest on me. "If you need me, just call me."

I could only nod as my bag suddenly appeared in my lap, from where it had been thrown into the backseat. Sucking in a quick breath, I forced myself to look away and clumsily vaulted out of the car. The cold wind stung but I paid no attention as I silently trudged toward the front door. Margie appeared just as Edward was driving away, a curious yet angered expression playing on her looks. "Who was that?"

"Boy from class." I muttered and slid past her, into the house with hair covering my cheek. I then ducked into the bathroom after tossing my bag into my room. As soon as I was in front of the mirror, with the door locked and my long hair pulled back into a knot at the base of my skull, I winced when I saw Derrick's handywork. An unmistakable bruise marred my translucent face, stretching from just below my cheek bone, over my jaw and the left corner of my mouth, down into my neck slightly. He had put a lot of force into the blow, that much was sure. I applied light pressure to the area as I twisted my head to get a better look at the bruising, and found myself very grateful that nothing had been broken. I went to the hospital enough. I owned makeup only for these such occasions. Three months with a controlling man that abused his wife and two natural children in South Carolina had prepared me for this sort of thing. I dabbed on some concealer, then loose powder. When I was done, the bruise was gone and my skin looked perfectly fine. Just long enough for me to face Margie for a little while. I kept my hair knotted against my head as I pulled my jacket off and set it in my room then walked out into the living room. Margie was watching some television program with a big bowl of popcorn beside her. "Wanna come sit?" She invited, her anger seemingly forgotten about as she smiled up at me.

I smiled too, uncertain then slowly walked over and sat next to her. My legs curled underneath me as I settled in, but made no move toward the bowl of popcorn that had been moved into her lap. "What're you watching?" I asked quietly, yet curiously as I folded my hands against my chest.

"Some old movie." She mused with a wistful grin then looked at me. "What did you do today? Derrick told me you had some school thing..."

"Oh." I blurted out and swiftly began to run with the lie that Derrick had created. Probably to save his own hide. "Big project in Physics. So I went to Edward Cullen's house and worked on it. We got it finished."

"Edward Cullen?" I could hear the hint of a gasp in Margie's voice as her pale gray glare rested on me again. "Houston, I don't know if I like the idea of you being around him."

"Why?" I shot out and looked at her curiously. "He's been nothing but a perfect gentleman to me and his family's pretty nice. I met his dad, Dr. Cullen when I had to go in for my tests."

"I'm not saying that to be mean, Houston." She sighed and slowly looped an arm around my shoulders. The gesture surprised me and threw me a bit, mostly because I had never seen this woman do anything that even resembled a motherly gesture before now. Giving my shoulders a light squeeze, she quickly let me go as embarrassment colored her cheeks. "I'm just asking you to be careful, okay? I know that things can't be easy for you, living the way you have."

"So..." Trailing off, I leaned over enough to look at her clearly, resting my upper body weight on my arm. "Let me get this straight, you want me to leave him alone so that when I have to move on to a new town, it won't hurt anyone?" Not giving her the chance to respond, I pushed off the couch and stomped into my room. Anger was flowing through me at a dizzying rate but I couldn't think of a single thing to unleash it on. Edward had said if I needed anything, to call him. But could I really do that? Could I really let myself depend on someone? After all, even though I hated hearing it, what Margie said was true. My life was too uncertain and I still had a while before my eighteenth birthday. The giant light at the end of this disasterous tunnel. I'd been saving money steadily since the moment I'd been able to get a job, so that I could strike out on my own once this whole nightmare of being in the foster care system was over. I wouldn't have to answer to anyone after my eighteenth birthday.

But as I sighed and dropped onto my bed, I was dimly aware of another thought trying to break into the forefront of my mind. Would I live long enough to _see_ my eighteenth birthday? I wasn't really sure where the thought had come from. I didn't know if it was because of my past or because of the danger that I always felt whenever I was around Edward. It wasn't noticable whenever he was with me, it was just a small fear that always curled up in my stomach and made me aware once I was no longer around him. It was a difficult feeling to describe, or even figure out. I just knew that there was something about Edward Cullen that was dangerous to me. I just had no idea _how_ dangerous. Looking up when the phone rang suddenly, I stayed on my bed as I listened to the faint echoing of Margie's footsteps as she went to retrieve the phone. A few minutes later, she was standing at the door of my bedroom, knocking quietly. "Come on in." I sighed and flopped back onto the bed, shoving my hands into my hair as the door opened and Margie reappeared. "Who was on the phone?"

"Derrick. He needs me to go pick him up from work. His truck isn't starting."

"Okay." I nodded and sat back up then leaned over and began to untie my shoes. I was thankful that my hair fell into my face as I moved, not wanting her to see the panic and blatant fear that Derrick slapping me had put into my eyes. "I'll probably be asleep by the time you get back. I'm wiped."

Margie hesitated at the door as I said that and slowly turned back around to face me. "Have you...any word yet?"

I shook my head sharply to the side, once and looked up at her again. "I'm supposed to know by Monday. Hopefully I can get back to the school before lunch."

"Okay, I'll be home that morning if you want to borrow my car." The gesture stunned me to silence and I actually blinked in surprise at her. She laughed a little, embarrassed again and shrugged. "Only if you want to though."

"You kidding?! I'd love you forever if I could use your car." I blurted out then blushed about as red as she did. Her voice was quiet as she laughed and agreed to let me use it for my doctor's appointment, then the rest of my day at school. I thanked her, profusely, then got up to take a shower once she was gone. I had to plan my showers very carefully, usually whenever Derrick was passed out or at work so I wouldn't have to deal with him "accidentally" forgetting that I had the bathroom. His tendency of busting in on me in the shower had also increased over the past few weeks.

Once I was clean and dry, I closed myself up in my bedroom and grabbed my CD player. Not really caring about the CD inside, I just curled up in bed, blankets thrown over my head and pressed play. As I lay in the dark, my body slowly relaxing more easily thanks to the hot shower I'd just gotten to have, I barely remembered to turn the CD player off and set the device and headphones aside before I was completely asleep. But even in unconsciousness, I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that suddenly engulfed my subconscious. I couldn't help but feel like someone was watching me. Even from my hiding place under a mound of blankets, with my bedroom door locked, I still couldn't get away from the emotion that a pair of eyes burning into me created.

By Monday, I was pretty sure that someone _was_ watching me. But the thing that made it most unnerving was the fact that I didn't really feel creeped out by it. It didn't feel the same, whoever watching me didn't cause the same unease that Derrick's stares usually envoked. Whoever it was had the inate ability of being invisible. Of making me feel like I was just imagining things when I lay there with that feeling surging through my hazy mind.

Getting ready for school was pretty uneventful. For the first time since my arrival, I was able to get up and out the door with no real complications. Driving Margie's car was weird and I wasn't used to having a car at my disposal. But as I pulled into the hospital's parking lot for my appointment, one glance at the clock surprised me. I also wasn't used to being early for anything. I usually timed things perfectly when I had to walk anywhere. Having spare time let me think and especially on days like this? It was the one thing I wasn't supposed to be doing. So I let the car idle as the minutes ticked by, the tiny, factory-issue stereo set to a random station with a song I'd never heard pumping through the speakers. I didn't care what song was playing, not trying to figure it out like I normally would, I just craved the random beat to break the silence and keep my intruding thoughts at bay.

But as I sat there in the car, with the engine humming quietly and the radio on; I found myself drifting into my thoughts anyway. None of them centered around what I was about to face. Nothing about the doctor's appointment, what I would possibly have to hear, or anything that I'd already gone through. My every thought and memory right then was trained on the boy in my Physics class. Edward. The painfully beautiful enigma that I just couldn't figure out. There was something about him that was off, something that screamed against every single move he made and every single word he said. As the minutes continued to sneak past, I came crashing back to reality when a new, suddenly unburied realization crashed into me like a wrecking ball. The thing about Edward that had been nagging at me was suddenly clear. Suddenly right in front of me and clicking things into place. At first, it threw me a little. After all, how could something like this exist in reality? Reaching over into the passenger seat, I dug through my bag until I found exactly what I was looking for. My much-abused and battered copy of _The Vampire Lestat_, which I'd begun to read after the last chapter of _Atlas Shrugged_.

My breathing came in shallow gasps as I flipped through the pages until I came to the passage I needed. Reading quickly, I just sank back against my seat, the book resting precariously in my slack hands while I stared blankly out into the parking lot. Again, I thought that this idea couldn't have any basis in reality. But then again, could _my_ situation have any stability either? How many other seventeen-year-old girls had been forced to go through the things in my past and still have to deal with them on a daily basis? How many other girls my age had to deal with the knowledge that the future they wanted would always be just out of their reach? So maybe, quite possibly, the hint of Edward's true nature couldn't be a far stretch of the imagination. After all, everything was based in reality, wasn't it? Maybe that was where the lore had come from. Maybe someone had actually been telling the truth, or at least a more sensationalized version of the truth when the first story of the vampire was written.


	6. Chapter 6

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

* * *

**Chapter Six:**

Edward was a vampire. The thought clung to me as a new sense of dispair wafted over me. I'd been allowed to go to school for the rest of my classes, but I was going to have to return as soon as the final bell rang. The look on my doctor's face would have broken my heart if another fear hadn't already seized it and refused to relinquish control.

I didn't remember walking into the crowded lunchroom once I'd parked Margie's car and climbed back out into the chilling weather. I didn't hear the voices or the buzz of conversation float around me as I paid for my bottle of water. It was the only thing I wanted right then, my stomach much too unsettled for food. But as I walked through the room, my eyes snapped back into focus. Edward was sitting at a table by himself, Alice chattering away happily in front of him. Both had breathtaking grins on their faces and I could tell that whatever they were talking about was a happy topic. One they'd been talking about for a while, judging by the animation lighting up Alice's frame. But when Edward saw me, all traces of that humor faded quickly. His eyes narrowed, jaw clenched, and he was on his feet. As much as I wanted to move, I couldn't. My eyes only lifted up to meet his when he stopped in front of me, lightly gripping my shoulders as he bent his knees to become eye-level with me. "Houston, are you all right?"

That question, filled with intensity, concern and fear, was what did it. My eyes quickly filled with tears and spilled over, soaking my cheeks within seconds. I'd been right in deciding against wearing makeup to cover the bruise that was now dark and painfully obvious. His hand moved to cover my marred skin and his cold touch sent a jolt through my system. I saw his face fall as I flinched away from him, my chin moving toward my chest as my eyes fell to my battered sneakers. "Sorry." I muttered helplessly and looked up when I saw Alice in my periphial vision. Suddenly the room felt like it was too small. The walls were closing in and air was seeping through the doors at an alarming rate. Now practically gasping, I just shook my head and lurched backward. My balance was off and I almost toppled over at least twice as I broke through the doors and onto the concrete outside. I could hear the commotion inside, feel the eyes on me as conversations halted. I made it out to the parking lot before I had to stop. My breathing was still ragged as I sagged against the trunk of Margie's car. Tears were still spilling over my cheeks but I couldn't force my hand up to wipe them away. I didn't even know if my suspicions were true! I had no idea if my imagination was just moving in overdrive. But as I slowly turned back around to actually sit on the car, I saw Edward making his way through the parking lot. Toward me.

I was already almost to the point of hyperventilating again when he finally reached me, but he made no move to touch me this time. His eyes were darker than I'd last seen them and the bruising that permanantly circled his eyes was more prominant as he stared at me. They were almost smoldering as he bent at the knees yet again to catch my gaze. I forced myself to look away dizzily, my head shaking unconsciously as I straightened up. My steps were shaky as I turned toward the driver's door. That time, Edward did reach out for me. Grabbing my shoulders, he easily spun me back around to face him. His jaw was set, eyes were growing increasingly more dark as they fixed intently on my tear-filled, dull green orbs. "What do you want?" I muttered helplessly, feeling like a complete mess in front of such perfection.

"I want to know what's wrong." There was that impecable dialect again. The impossible connection of words that had been lost centuries ago. They were only supposed to exist in stories about endless love and chivalry. "Talk to me, Houston. Who's car is this?"

"Margie's." I picked the easiest question to start out with. His hands still gripped my shoulders and one glance down let me know just how careful he was having to be with me. Or at least, it looked that way. The tendons in both hands were strained and raised the skin on his hands. Which were just as pale as normal. Everything started to connect again and I drew in a shaky breath as I forced myself to answer the rest of his questions. How many had he asked again?

"Who's Margie?" Another simple question. I liked simple questions.

"My foster mother. I had a doctor's appointment today and she didn't have to work." I replied quietly, my voice completely drained of any emotion as I continued to stare up at him. I was nearly to the point of sagging in his arms but I forced my knees to remained locked. His intense gaze alone could turn my joints to Jello but I wasn't letting myself focus on that. Instead I was taking in other aspects of his physical appearance. The skin that was the palest I'd ever seen. Even my own skin looked healthy and glowing against his.

"Is this connected to the appointment I took you to?" When I nodded, he trudged on, seemingly forgetting about the first question he'd posed. I could remember that one now, now that I was remembering how I fled from the lunchroom. "Why are you having so many doctor's appointments?"

"Why are you always absent when the weather's nice?" I countered with a question of my own. It wasn't quite the one I wanted to ask, but it was as close as my courage would allow me to get. "The _real_ reason. No story about hiking with your family."

My courage took a serious hit when his expression grew even angrier. Edward released my shoulders and I nearly fell back against the car behind me. "Why are you asking me that?"

"Because I want to know." My voice evened out as I regained my footing. My eyes finally focused on his and I saw the anger pooling clearly in the nearly black orbs. "I also want to know why you looked at me like a disease during my first month of school here but now, you're suddenly remembering that I exist. Why you still do that sometimes when you think I'm not looking. I'm not stupid Edward, or blind. I'm not the only one with secrets here."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." He hissed, his expression contorting into the image my subconscious had cooked up after I'd finally put away my book. "And why should I reveal all of my secrets when I have no hint of yours?"

Anger swelled in my chest as I stared at him. Thinking quickly, I looked down long enough to reach into my bag and pulled out my book. The thud of me slamming the book into his chest echoed through the vast parking lot and I held it there until his own arm coiled up to relieve mine. "Let me know when you've read that." I muttered darkly and quickly spun on my heel to escape into the car I'd been leaning on for support without even realizing it. Edward hadn't moved an inch when I looked back to manuevered out of the parking lot once the engine was roaring back to life. Unconsciously reckless, I just swerved out of the spot and hit the gas once the wheel was straightened out. I wouldn't let myself look in the rear view mirror as I pulled out of the lot and onto the main street in front of it. It was still too early for me to go back to the hospital, but right then, the last place I wanted to be was at school. Home was definitely not an option. Margie was still home and I didn't want to deal with her anymore than I suddenly wanted to deal with Edward. Our project was due today, he had everything he needed. If he chose to take my name off and claim all the credit for himself in retaliation, that was fine with me. The imending possibility of my future seemed to have very little to do with school as I parked in front of the hospital yet again and climbed out.

Making slow and calculated steps toward the front desk, I forced a smile and gave my name to the nurse behind the desk. She looked at me with the small, sad smile that I'd always been greeted me with and led me off in the direction I would need to go. Once in an exam room, I mechanically changed into the standard hospital gown attire and waited for my doctor to arrive. The woman, Dr. Copeland, greeted me with a smile that mirrored the nurse that had brought me in.

She didn't say anything until she was seated on a stool in front of me with her clipboard resting on her lap. "I'm pretty sure this all feels routine to you by now, Houston. But I do have a few things I need to go over with you. Is that all right?"

Shrugging, I kept my lips locked together as she started to read from the clipboard against her pantleg. Her white labcoat looked starkly out of place against her dark purple blouse and black trousers, her feet shoved into black, painful heels that looked more like boots than actual heels. Well, the heels I'd seen while roaming around malls randomly in my spare time. She was right as she read off the list of things I would need to know, they were things that I already _did_ know. None of this was new to me. It was just another possible solution to my reoccuring problem. Once she was finished, I was moved into another room and promised that my clothes would be right where I left them. I didn't really care, only about my bag that was buried underneath my jeans, oversized sweater, underwear and jacket. Everything still felt routine as I lay back on an exam table, my bare waist covered with a paper blanket and my gown raised to my belly button. I didn't need to focus to see what the technician above me was doing, or what the piece of machinery to my right did. I knew why it was in the room and positioned so close to me. So when I felt the cool pressure from the tip of a pen against my skin, I had no reactions. It was just another mark. Another outward sign of the inner battle raging deeply within my tiny frame.

This would be my longest visit, the technician told me as I climbed off the table. The machine that had just been positioned and repositioned over me was pushed against the wall furthest from me, but I paid it no mind as I silently walked back to the first exam room I'd been put in. My clothes were just where I'd left them and the technician chattered on animatedly as she turned to give me some privacy. I wouldn't really have cared less as I tossed the gown aside and walked over to my clothes. Once all of the layers were in place, she turned back around to face me as I sat to put my shoes back on. Her voice never faltered once as she told me even more things that I already knew. I was already painfully aware of the side effects. Of what not to do so that the new marks on my body would still be there for as long as I needed them. I didn't even bother to see where the new dots were as I adjusted my sweater over my tattered jeans. My bag was thrown over my body once I had my jacket on and I spoke for the first time when the technician had to leave, calmly thanking her for what she'd done and that I would see her again at my next appointment.

My schedule was already made out and waiting for me when I arrived back at the front desk. Instead of leaving as soon as possible, my feet carried me toward the cafeteria. I'd always visited that place first whenever my past required an extended stay in the hospital of whichever city I was in at the time. Luckily, I hadn't needed one of those since the age of sixteen, when an illness almost completely derailed my progress. It would be just a matter of time before I was readmitted, idly wondering what new illness would try and cripple me in the next round.

I didn't stay long in the cafeteria and soon trudged over to the gift shop. But just as I was about to walk into the brightly lit room filled with flowers, cards, balloons and various other knicknacks, I stopped and turned around fully when I noticed a familiar blonde head of hair standing close to a familiar head of copper hair. Carlisle and Edward were at the end of the hallway, locked in what looked like a heated discussion. Judging by the way they stood and the anger I could see clearly evident on Edward's face, he wasn't hearing what he wanted. But what caused my heart to jump up in my throat was the book in his hand. _My_ book. My poor copy of Anne Rice's masterpiece was gripped tightly in his hand, the cover catching the light every so often when it was thrown around by its holder's hand. As much as I wanted to walk over and hear just what Carlisle was saying to Edward, I forced myself to turn around and leave. I had to get home soon and give Margie the news. I also had to start thinking about other ways to get around Forks. The only good thing about all of this was that I already knew what to expect. I knew how tired I would get and there was already a note in my bag for my Gym teacher. That would be handled in the morning when I went back to school so I focused on the things I would need to do tonight. More important on the list was telling Margie and hoping against hope that she would want to keep me with her while I was going through this. It wouldn't surprise me if she didn't. Most foster parents didn't want to deal with sick children, even if all of my expenses were already going to be covered by the State of Washington. I just had to force myself to follow through with these plans and not let myself chicken out. That wasn't in my options anymore. My past really was coming back in full force. But luckily this time I wouldn't have to deal with the loss of normalcy that had disappeared when I saw Edward for the first time that day.


	7. Chapter 7

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

* * *

**Chapter Seven:**

My first treatment was already out of the way as I walked toward my Physics class. I hadn't seen Edward since the day I'd shoved my favorite book against his chest and stormed off. The weather had been impecably sunny after that and my suspicions were confirmed when he didn't attend classes for the three sunny days that came in a row. He had surprised me anyway, handing in our project with my name still attached. As vindictive as I wanted to be toward him, I learned that he didn't feel the same way. At least in this respect.

But I had to wonder when exactly he had turned in our project. He'd been at the hospital talking to Dr. Cullen when he was supposed to be in class, handing in the assignment. But when I recieved it back during one of the days when Edward was absent, I didn't let myself dwell on it. We'd recieved a perfect grade and I was satisfied in knowing that we really did work well together. When we had to, anyway.

I didn't look up as I trudged through the parking lot once Physics was over. Because of my growing fatigue, I didn't have to sit and watch as everyone else participated in Gym class. I was given makeup work instead and allowed to go home an hour early so that I could "rest", as my teacher had put it.

Pulling up in front of the house, I cut the engine on the car Margie had started loaning me. It was from the garage that Derrick worked at, a car that no one wanted. So I'd been allowed to borrow it for school and my trips to the doctor. I was grateful for that and even stopped by the garage so I could thank Derrick's boss in person. Derrick had also started to keep his distance when my changes in mood forced me to snap at him for staring at me too long. Margie was really the only one not keeping her distance from me. I was extremely grateful for that since I had pretty much convinced myself that she would want me out of her house when she learned the new change of events in my health.

My diet now consisted of pure liquid and I had to start carrying a bottle of water with me since I couldn't hold anything solid down. Not that I had much of an appetite anyway, but it did aggravate me to have to keep finding new things to drink. My sense of taste was warped after so many rounds like this one and I often wondered if I would ever feel the same about a cheeseburger or piece of pizza again.

I forced myself to concentrate as I climbed out of the car and pulled my bag onto my shoulder. I was the only one home, both Margie and Derrick were at work. So when I saw someone sitting on my front porch, fear clutched me quickly and skid my body to a halt just a few steps shy of the front porch steps. The figure, shrouded in the shadow that a large oak tree threw over the left side of the porch, rose and crossed the space quickly. A quiet gasp left my body when I saw the visitor's face. Edward.

"What're you doing here?" I asked dumbly as I joined him on the front porch, my keys locked in a deathgrip in my hand as his entire body hummed in anger.

"I came to see you." His voice was formal and cool when he addressed me and I lowered my eyes to find my book clutched in his hand. "May I come inside?"

All I could do was shrug as I moved past him and unlocked the door. The keys and my bag were set aside, along with my shoes before I turned back to face him. He closed the door with pronounced slowness and threw the deadbolt before he was looking at me. "This was a very interesting reading." Again, he sounded cool and calm as he held the book out for me to take.

I did and hugged the tattered copy to my chest, curling my arms against the worn paperback as I perched on the arm of the chair closest to the door and ajoined hallway. "I wasn't thinking clearly when I gave it to you." If I could even call what I'd done that. I'd pretty much forced the book into his chest in anger. Anger that wasn't entirely directed at him. "I'm sorry for that, by the way."

"Don't be." He shrugged and the calm formality he'd carried into the house evaporated. Edward didn't come any further into the room though, only moving by hiding his hands in the pockets of his coat as he continued to watch me carefully. "Do you think any of that is true? When you think of me, that is."

"I don't know." I answered honestly. And really, I didn't. Nothing added up. Nothing made sense when it came to him, but how could I tell him that? How could I tell him of all the sleepless nights I'd spent doing research on vampires. "I don't really know anything for sure when it comes to you."

"Why is that?" He mused and finally moved, his graceful steps carrying him over to the couch before he spun and, in the blink of an eye, was sitting on the couch. His arms rested against his thighs and his fingers interlocked as his gaze turned pensive and contemplative. I turned and sank into the chair I'd been using to hold me up, one leg stayed thrown over the arm and my hands fell limply into my lap. "Do you think?" He added in as an afterthought. He lifted his eyes to look at me once he'd said that and a small, bitter smile contorted his angel's face. "What is it about me that has you awake at night?"

Panic froze the blood in my veins as my cheeks warmed with chilled plasma. "You?" I practically breathed the words as I sat upright in my chair, my leg falling to join my right leg as I wrenched upright. "You're the one that's been spying on me!" I'd meant it more than a question than an accusation but the words had come out garbled anyway. I still couldn't think around him and with the new formality of his presence, I was at an even more loss of words.

"I was curious." He shrugged as if his actions were the most obvious thing in the world. "You're more captivating to others than you probably think." Edward suddenly smiled ruefully as he tilted his head slightly toward the side. "You wouldn't believe how many boys were imagining you naked on your first day of school."

More panic washed through me as I sank back against the seat, almost melting into it as my brain worked frantically to try and piece together what he was saying. The only thing I could come up with was the fact that he was speaking in riddles. He was having way too much fun with this conversation. "You don't know that." I offered out quietly, feeling utterly lame under his scrutinizing glare.

"But I do." He breathed and his grin stretched wider on his face. "If I'm what you think I am, then why not be painfully honest? Why keep all the pretenses you think I have in place? After all, you've figured me out, Houston. You've unmasked me for the true monster that I am. I should applaud you for it, really. But again, that's implying that we both believe what you think."

"Stop it." I snapped and shot out of the chair. Angrily pushing hair behind my ears, I started to walk past him, but stopped and whirled back around to find him still in his previous position. "Why are you here? To toy with me, Edward? Why even come here at all, if you were just going to make fun of me and patronize me."

His expression remained unchanged during my rant and anger drained from me when he finally rose to his full height and closed some of the distance between us. "Because you have a right to know who you're associating with, Houston. You have a right to know just how much danger you're in. Do you think it was a coincidence that you saw me in the hospital right after giving me that book? It wasn't. Do you honestly believe that what you saw was an exchange between father and son?"

"I already told you." I growled at him, my eyes narrowing into slits as my fists clenched at my sides. "I don't know what I believe when I think of you. Too many things don't add up with you, Edward. You're much too pale, you always feel like you just stepped out of a meat locker, and your eyes change color more often than I change my socks. But you know what?" My voice grew slightly in pitch as I took a couple of steps toward him. Finally noticing the difference in our heights for a brief second. "I really don't care anymore. I'm tired of trying to figure out you, of thinking about you and agonizing over why your attitude toward me has finally changed." Once the last word passed my lips, I spun around and strode over to the door. Throwing the deadbolt back, I wrenched the heavy door open and stepped aside as I threw it wide open, not bothering to flinch when it banged against the wall. "I want you to leave, Edward. I already told you, we're just lab partners."

"As you wish." He sighed the words but I could tell something faint flicker in his eyes as he walked past me and out into the dreary overcast. Even though I was preoccupied by the quick change in his eyes, I slammed the door shut and locked it anyway as the Volvo's engine purred to life. Tires squealed as he pulled away from my house and the sound was still echoing in my ears when he disappeared down the street. I didn't stop moving until I had collapsed on my bed, completely void of any energy. My jeans were digging painfully into my hips and my sweater now twisted around my abdomen when I had rolled from my stomach onto my back in exasperation. I was even more confused than ever by Edward Cullen. He had been following me, watching as I spent my nights alternating between deep, dreamless sleep, light uneasy slumber, and blatant insomnia. That was why I'd felt so comforted by the feeling of being watched. Because it had been _his_ eyes watching my every move in my small bedroom. I glanced over at the window and realized that he could very clearly see in and that there was enough shade for him to remain undetected. Even in the daylight hours, he could stand at the end of the small yard, blanketed by the thick oaks that lined the street's backyards and dotted the space between houses.

Screaming in frustration, I beat my hands and feet against the mattress in surpressed anger before I fell still again. I'd never been so confounded by a boy before, but today had taught me that Edward was no ordinary boy. He was anything but normal, just as I was. But not in the same essence. I moved again to force the thoughts away and left my room long enough to grab my school bag before I changed into my beloved track pants and curled up on my neatly made bed to start on the task of homework. I needed a distraction, almost as much as I needed air right then. There was too much to think about, way too much and I didn't even know where to begin or how to hope in deciphering the thoughts that would just tug relentlessly at me when I finally slept.

I had finally moved on to my Physics homework when Margie came home, bustling loudly into the house with Derrick close on her heels. I didn't move off my bed as I recognized their raised voices. They were fighting about something, what I had no idea. But when I heard Derrick shout that he didn't want to be in the same house as me, I realized what they were arguing about. Me. Climbing off the bed, I pressed myself against my door and listened to their heated words. I didn't have to move to hear them, they were talking loud enough that I was sure the neighbors would be able to hear.

"I don't care what you think!" Margie shouted, her voice being drowned out when something crashed to the floor. I risked moving out into the hallway, staying far enough out of the overhead light to keep myself hidden from them. But I could see clearly what was going on. "This is my house, Derrick and if I want her here, she stays! She has no one, don't make me choose between you."

"She's not your responsibility, Margie." Derrick advanced on her, his hands gripping her shoulders in a way that reminded me of my last confrontation with Edward at school. His body was shaking in anger, unlike Edward's had been when he had inadvertantly kept me from crumbling to the pavement. "Why do you have to drag yourself through hell for some little bitch?"

"I'm all she has." My heart flooded with sudden, intense love when I heard her response and I had to force myself to stay where I was as Derrick shoved himself away from her. She swayed on her feet slightly but remained standing in place. "I'm not going to abandon that girl like everyone else has. She can't control what's going on with her anymore than I can. But do you think I want to be dealing with this? I don't and more importantly, I don't want her to have to live through it either. You think this is going to be tough on me? Think about that poor girl in there for a minute. She is going to _die_ from this Derrick, her doctor's already told me that her days are numbered. There's only so much her little body can take before it gives out."

I suddenly didn't want to hear anymore. My stomach twisted at her words with the burning revelation that she was right. I _was_ going to die from this. I didn't have a timetable of how much more I had left to go through, or how many more mornings I would wake up to see. Vaulting into the bathroom just as Derrick stormed down the hallway, I couldn't hear him slamming the door over my own vomiting. A hand smoothed over my back just seconds later and tears burned in my eyes when I recognized Margie's warm touch. I didn't know how the conversation had ended, but I was pretty sure that I wasn't supposed to have heard any of it. Finally, my stomach emptied into the toilet underneath me and I fell back into Margie's waiting embrace. I was shaking all over and sweat was pouring down my face as I gasped for air.

"It's going to be okay." Margie cooed in my ear, still rubbing my back as she held me against her much smaller frame. "Let's get you to bed, okay?" I just nodded and forced weight into my legs as I shakily rose to my feet. She didn't leave my side, guiding me back toward my room where I collapsed on the mattress. Margie's tone was still forcefully cheerful as she bustled around to pick up my discarded school books. "I didn't realize you were home, Houston. I'm so sorry if you heard any of that."

"No worries." I croaked out, my throat burning from throwing up liquids and I slowly pulled the covers of my legs and sank further into my pillow. "I was honestly waiting for the fallout."

My words halted Margie as she put my books on the small desk she'd set up for me. "What?" She breathed and sat on the edge of my bed, one arm bracing her over my legs. "Houston, did you honestly think I was going to throw you out of the house because you're sick again?"

"You wouldn't be the first." I justified quietly. It hurt too much to raise my voice past a whisper so I was grateful for Margie's sudden, close proximity. "I would've understood, I promise. I don't want to drag you into this, it's a tough thing to go through. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

"Don't worry about me." She soothed, hushing me to silence as she reached up with her free hand and pushed damp hair off my forehead and neck. "You just concentrate on resting, okay? The rest will work itself out."

"No it won't." I suddenly moaned and turned my tearful face into my pillow. "Nothing ever works out. I don't want to do this anymore! I'm sick of fighting."

"Houston, honey." My heart broke when I heard her voice crack. I hated that sound more than anything in the world and I hated that I caused that reaction from her. Margie was much too nice of a person to deserve any wrong doing. Maybe that was why I detested Derrick as much as I did. But I would never force her to choose between me or happiness. If that dingbat of a man made her happy, I wasn't going to stand in the way of that. I'd spent too much energy succeeding in that before today. "Just relax, try to relax. If you keep this up, I'm going to have to take you to the ER. You know you can't get so worked up. You're under too much stress as it is."

"I'm fine." I suddenly breathed and looked back at her again, stretching out onto my back carefully so I wouldn't hit her. She was right, I couldn't push my body any futher than I already had. "I promise, I'm okay now."

Margie nodded and looked slightly convinced as she stood back up. "Is there anything I can get you, sweetheart? Do you want to try some chicken noodle soup? I don't think it would hurt to have the noodles and chicken in your stomach."

I nodded and smiled up at her gratefully. "Thank you." I sighed and let my chin fall to my shoulder as she leaned over and kissed my sweaty temple.

"Go to sleep if you want to, I'll wake you up when it's ready." Again I nodded, not hearing the door close in front of me when she left my room to make me some soup. I didn't even hear the muted rustle outside my bedroom window, or see the hand pressing against the glass as my mind drifted into unconsciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

* * *

**Chapter Eight:**

Thursday morning dawned gray with drizzling rain as I lay awake in my bed. Margie had just left my room, deciding verbally that I wasn't going to school. I was grateful for that and stayed in bed as she went to get me a glass of lemonade to drink. That was the only way I could keep my strength up now that my nausea had been increased when pain began to flare up at random intervals in my lower abdomen. I was used to that as well, knowing it came with the entire deal. But that didn't make anything less painful. I still wanted to scream in agony every time the aching extended into my thighs like a vice.

Once I had the glass of lemonade, as well as some saltines that she had started to stock the house with, Margie left for work. Derrick hadn't been back in the house since they had fought over Margie's decision to keep me, and that was another thing I was grateful for. I didn't have to hide my condition in my own home, but I still tried to at times when I noticed that this was proving to play out like I'd assumed. This was taking it's toll on Margie and that made the guilt almost inconsolable at times. It was in the quiet moments to myself that I let the remorse have me, allowing tears to soak my cheeks and pillow. Crying didn't solve anything and I was usually even more tired once my eyes had dried.

I drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the morning, only really waking up when my body started to scream in agony over being stationary for so long. Deciding that I couldn't spend the entire day in bed, I bundled up and grabbed a random book. That, along with my lemonade and crackers were carried outside and I settled on the wooden porch swing that took up most of the space on the left side of the porch. Where Edward had been sitting the last day I saw him. On the rare days I went to school, he kept his distance from me, never saying a word to me at lunch or in class. Even when we were forced to interact, our conversation never strayed from what we were doing. As much as I hated it, I knew that I couldn't blame him. I'd asked for the distance when I had demanded he leave the house.

Flipping the book open quickly, I just curled up underneath the blanket I'd also brought outside and lost myself in the pages of a story I'd already read several times over. I would have to go out and get a new book soon, even though I didn't like asking Margie for money. She was one of the millions of people in the United States that lived from paycheck to paycheck and things were even more financially strained now that we had lost Derrick's income.

I was halfway through my book when the silence was suddenly interrupted by a new, yet familiar presence. Looking up, the book fell out of my hands when I found Alice Cullen standing in my front yard. "Alice." I blurted out stupidly, watching in muted confusion as she lithly danced onto the porch and perched on the railing beside the swing.

"Hi Houston, I hope you don't mind me dropping by."

I was quick to shake my head then stopped and glanced up at her guiltily as I found my voice again. "No, of course not. Just surprised to see you, that's all. What's up?"

"I come baring gifts." She announced and I noticed the box in her arms. She set them down in front of me and I could just gawk over the edge of the cardboard. There were easily fifty or sixty books that I'd never seen before and I had to wonder where she'd had the strength to carry such a heavy box. But then I realized something that threw me. If Edward was, indeed a vampire, then that probably meant that the rest of his family were vampires as well. Shaking my head slightly at the new realization, I looked up at her again when she climbed onto the railing, steadying herself with one leg on either side of the white-washed wooden plank underneath her. "Edward told me how you read your books so often that they wear out. So I figured you could use something new to read. Some of them are Jasper's and a few even came from Carlisle's library."

My throat constricted as I looked in the box again, feeling a profound appreciation for the Cullens' thoughtfulness. "Thank you." I forced out and smiled up at her weakly as I reached in to carefully pick up an old volume that had been placed on the top of the neatly stacked pile. Even though it was old, the paperback was in pristine condition. Obviously cared for by it's owner. "Thank them for me?"

"No problem." She grinned and nodded once before her expression turned somber. "There's another reason I came, though."

"What do you want to ask?" I had no idea where the question had come from but when I saw Alice's expression change again, I knew I was right in asking it.

"Edward told us...about the last conversation you two had. About you thinking he was a vampire."

"Oh." I hiccuped and nodded slowly. Of course he'd told his family about that. I'd of been stupid to think he would keep something like that to himself. "Did he send you over here to try and disuade me from that theory?"

"No." She laughed and her tone sounded like an intoxicating chorus of bells. "He's too stubborn for his own good sometimes, my brother. He doesn't think that anyone can ever see past his masks. But you're more perceptive than he ever thought you would be. I wasn't the least bit surprised when you launched that news on him."

"So I'm right then?" I asked quietly, hesitation clearly locking my voice into it's demure tone.

"I can't confirm or deny, Houston. It's not my place to have that conversation with you. But just because Edward is keeping his distance from you doesn't mean that I should have to do the same. I like you, and believe it or not, Edward does too."

"Not." I laughed out bitterly then flashed her an apologetic look when she caught my eye. "He just...exasperates me sometimes. I can't be rational when it comes to him."

"You're not the first to feel that." Alice laughed again and turned so that both of her feet were once again on the wooden deck, her arms effortlessly holding her in place on the railing. "Edward's a very exasperating person sometimes. You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to live with him when he has his mind made up about something and it's affecting him negatively. He's been torturing himself about you."

"He has?!" I squeaked the words out in surprise, wincing when my voice reverberated in my ears.

Alice laughed again and nodded then moved to sit next to me on the swing. I scooted over carefully to give her more room and she smiled gratefully at me for that. "He has. We've both noticed that you haven't been to school much lately. Please don't tell me that it's because of my brother."

Unwillingly, tears blurred my vision and I had to look away from Alice then. "It has nothing to do with him, I promise." I sighed and swiped the back of my hand over my closing eyelids. "I've just been...sick, that's all."

"Nothing contagious, I hope!" Alice suddenly demanded, her voice growing in mock horror as she shied away from me. I tensed quickly and whirled my head around to look at her, only to be abashed again when she laughed and shook her head gracefully at me, her pixie black hair wafting in the light breeze.

"Not contagious." I announced with a firm nod of my head then let my facial features lift into a genuine smile. "Thank you again for coming over, it really does mean a lot to me, Alice."

"I'm just glad that my presence is wanted. I wasn't sure." She mused but didn't look entirely convinced of what she had just said. Puzzled, I looked at her for a moment then grew even more confused when she suddenly stood and agily lept over the box on the floor. "You should get back inside though, if you're sick. And I have to be going, lunch's almost over and I still have a couple of classes that I need to be in."

Nodding, I gathered my stuff, setting the book I'd brought outside into the box before I stood to lift it. I wasn't sure how I was going to manage that one, but I didn't want Alice to see me so weak. She had a different idea though, effortlessly lifting the box back into her arms with a smile. "Grab your glass, crackers, and blanket. I've got the box."

"Door's open." I muttered and did as she said, joining her at the door just as she had it open and stepped inside. Once the box was tucked in a corner of my bedroom, she gave me a quick, cold hug then practically danced out of the house. I waited until she was in her car, a black Mercedes that I'd seen in the hospital parking lot, and driving away before I went back inside. It was weird that I'd just been thinking about needing more books then Alice Cullen showed up to more than satiate my desire for something new to read. So I curled up on the floor to examine the box instead of laying back down. I was still on the floor, surrounded by books when Margie came home, looking tired but in good spirits when she found me.

"What's all this?" She laughed out and walked up behind me to kneel down so she could see the various sizes in books circling me.

"Alice Cullen brought them by." I announced and twisted my face up in confusion as I started to file them back into the box for safekeeping. If Jasper Hale and Carlisle Cullen trusted me enough with their books, I was going to make absolutely sure they were returned in the condition they'd been lent out in. "It was weird, like she knew I would need them or something."

"Is that why she dropped by?" Margie asked and stood up to help me back to the bed when my legs refused to unfold entirely so I could walk properly. Cramps were flaring up again and I waited until I'd been graciously given a painpill and had that swallowed before I answered her question.

"No, she noticed my absence in school and came to check on me. I wanna say it was because she was genuinely concerned but it felt like there was another reason she came over."

"I wouldn't think too much of it." Margie waved my worries off with a shake of her head and a smile. "People in Forks are pretty nice if you let them be. I'm sure it was just concern for you that brought her over."

"I guess." I shrugged and relaxed against the mattress as the medication started to filter into my bloodstream.

"Are you hungry? I was thinking about making a sandwich, I can make you one too if you want."

I didn't mean to grimace in response as I twisted into a fetal position under my covers. "I'm still not keeping anything down. I'll get up in a little while and swallow some more broth. Go eat, I'm fine, the painpill's starting to take affect and it's probably going to knock me out."

"Okay." She smiled and leaned over me to kiss my forehead before she went to leave. "Just call me if you need anything, okay?" And once I consented, she left me alone. Just like almost every other time before, when I drifted off to sleep, I was unsettled by the feeling of someone watching me. I just refused to entertain the idea of Edward Cullen being the one keeping watch over me while I slept.


	9. Chapter 9

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

* * *

**Chapter Nine:**

Today was a good day. I was finally able to start keeping food down and some of my strength had returned. It was zapped away shortly after my appointment but that didn't deter me when I was able to keep eating. I wasn't sure if I would ever feel thirsty again after all the liquid I'd consumed but it was a nessessary evil.

Like attending class. I didn't feel comfortable enough with my digestive system to eat lunch with the rest of the student population so I trekked back to campus once I'd eaten at home and was actually full. Because of that, my spirits were pretty high when I walked into Physics. Expecting to see my table empty, it felt like the wind was knocked out of me when Edward suddenly turned and faced me as I moved up the isle toward where my seat was. I slid onto the stool carefully and set my stuff on the desk without a glance in his direction.

The tone of his voice suggested that he was taking my cool disinterest in stride, a small smile playing on the corners of his lips when I glanced at him warily. "You look like you're feeling better."

"I am." I nodded and set my book down before I leaned over to set my bag aside. When I straightened back up, I was surprised to find him still sitting casually on his own chair. He hadn't reacted the way I thought he usually did whenever I moved, with his fist clenched and body rigid. "I haven't seen Alice today, would you thank her again for bringing some books over? I'm still surprised your family was gracious enough to lend me so many of them."

Again, he was taking my stand-off politeness with patience and his smile grew a little more when I mentioned his family and books. "Sure. What are you reading now?"

My eyes widened for a second before I shrugged and sighed the title. That earned another grin from Edward, a new, suddenly conspiritory smile that I'd never seen before. "That one is from my collection, actually. Are you enjoying it?"

"Yeah." I was being honest as I nodded in approval. "Thank you too. I just thought Jasper and Carlisle were the only ones giving me something new to read."

"I gave her a few volumes for the box." Edward laughed lightly with an impish smile playing on his boyish features, making him look so much younger than any other time he smiled. He really was just as breathtaking as my dreams remembered. Even moreso since he was now sitting beside me. But as much as I wanted to ask him another question, class started and forced our voices into silence. I was thankfully caught up in all my classes since all of my homework had been sent home to me. Usually by James and I had to spend ten minutes of every single day convincing him that I was okay enough to be left alone. I couldn't be mean to him, not after he'd been nice enough to volunteer his services to the principal. But that didn't mean I wanted to see him outside of school. That desire resided only with Alice, who had been a frequent visitor after that first day. And, of course, the boy sitting next to me. But he'd still kept his distance from me and I was thankful that he didn't seem bothered by my new friendship with his sister.

Class ended earlier than normal. It was Friday and Mr. Varton thought he was serving us with a rare treat. While he was, in the sense that I would have a little more time to myself at home, it also meant that he was cutting my time with Edward short. I rose from my chair anyway once my bag was packed back up and turned to leave. But Edward's voice stopped me and when I turned back around to look at him, he hadn't moved an inch. "Houston? I'm sorry."

"For what?" I blurted out and stepped back over to the table so I wouldn't block other students from escaping the room.

"Being obnoxious the last time we talked." He admitted with a sheepish grin and finally started to gather up his own belongings.

"Oh." I nodded then shrugged, staying silent until he was on his feet and standing directly in front of me. "I probably deserved it, so no foul."

"Can we talk though?" Edward asked suddenly and I noticed the change in his eye color. Liquid honey verging on pure gold. "I don't like the way we left things and I've found myself unable to stop thinking about you."

Was that an omission of sorts? Could I possibly take that to believe he'd just admitted that he had been telling the truth when he said he watched me sleep? And more specifically, that he was _still_ engaging in that particular activity? "Sure." I nodded and pushed my hair off my shoulder as I backed out of the space and turned toward the door again. "Just come by after school, I should still have the house to myself and Alice won't have to wait for you to come back."

"After school then." He agreed with another knee-weakening half-smile. My heart sputtered even more when he stopped me in the doorway again and lightly brushed his fingers over my cheekbone. His touch was still like ice against my skin, but the flesh he'd just touched was still burning when he flashed me another crooked grin and set off to his final class of the day. My mind was still hazy as I headed home, having walked to school because of how good I'd been feeling that morning.

Once I was inside and dressed comfortably in my track pants and a tank top I only wore in the house, I settled down to watch some TV and wait for Edward to be released from school. I wasn't entirely sure what had changed, why he all of a sudden wanted to straighten things out with me. But I found myself not caring about the reasons. All that mattered to me was that he _wanted_ to rectify things. He wanted us to be back on good terms. The hour inched by in agonizing incriments and I turned off the TV in favor of a book and music as I continued to wait in the living room.

I'd become so engrossed in the book Edward had secretly lent me that I didn't hear him knock the first time. The second time came in a break in the music I was listening to and I vaulted off the couch to answer the door once I had put the volume securely on the coffee table. Pulling the door open, my heart seized briefly when I saw Edward smiling at me on the porch, sputtering again when he crossed the doorway and made himself comfortable in the living room.

I waited until we were both seated, me with my legs curled underneath me on one side of the couch, and him leaning over his thighs on the others side. "Okay, I'm all yours. What's up?"

His quiet laugh was the best song I'd ever heard as he angled slightly to face me better, almost as if he wanted me to be able to see every single expression that lined his face. "I already apologized, but I wanted to do it again. I am sorry for being such a jerk to you, Houston. You do deserve to know what you're getting yourself into by having me here."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I unconsciously pushed my left shoulder into the back of the couch. "I don't understand. What do you mean, what I'm getting myself into?"

"Well," He sighed and flicked his hands upward from his knees in a cute, little helpless gesture. "I can't convince myself to stay away from you anymore. It's too difficult and I don't want to anymore. I like talking to you, Houston. I like seeing your expressions change as your thoughts flow from one thing to another. I like being around you a lot more than I probably should."

"I like being around you too." I admitted quietly, my voice mixing with my breath in a quiet rush. "What changed though? I thought you were pretty set on keeping me away."

"Only because you were so set on it. I was merely doing what I thought you wanted me to. When you suddenly became absent from school, I feared it was my fault. Because you didn't want to see me or have anything to do with me. So yes, I was a little curious when Alice came to see you and brought those books over. But when she told me that you weren't in school because of an illness...that was when I decided that I couldn't keep convincing myself that I didn't want to be in your life. Can you understand that, Houston?"

"I can." I agreed just as softly as my last omission, but my voice grew stronger when my question from earlier flooded through my brain. "Okay, I have to ask though... Are you watching me? Or was that just to throw me off so I couldn't focus?"

"It wasn't a line." Edward sighed again and the smallest fraction of pain filled his features. "I've been watching you just about every night since our first conversation in class. That's how curious I've become about you. The things I've noticed..." His throat constricted his voice as he shook his head fiercely and panic flamed in my abdomen. I could only imagine what he'd seen while watching me sleep. No doubt some of my worst fears come to life while Derrick had been living here. "Is that guy still here? The lanky man that always smells like alcohol?"

"No." I shook my head and let one leg slide over the edge of the couch. "He and Margie got into it right before I got sick. He hasn't been back since."

"What did they fight about?"

"Me." I muttered with a raise of my right shoulder. "He just didn't agree with the choice she made concerning me and he left. He's never really liked me anyway and I feel the same way about him. Margie could do better. She _has_ done better."

"I'm glad he's gone." Edward's voice suddenly sounded like a growl with those words, his body tensing with what I could only assume was some variation of anger and rage. "I nearly broke your window to get in the first night I found him watching you. I'd like to say that his presence was what kept me coming back, but I can't completely say that's the truth. You intrigue me, Houston. Far more than any other girl I've met."

"Why?" I was whispering again, not caring in the least as I watched his body relax against the couch. "What is it about me that makes me so noticable?"

"A few things." He started and his voice lightened some as his eyes fixed on the wall behind my head. "There's so many things that I want to tell you. A whole host of explanations and reasons why I've behaved the way I have, and why I'm so drawn to you. But I'm still afraid you won't believe any of them."

"Try me." And I was suddenly made aware again of my inquiry into his mortality. "I mean after all, I _was_ the one that shoved a vampire novel into your hand and told you to tell me what you thought."

"You don't know how right you were that day." The stress in his voice yanked mercilessly on my heartstrings as his face contorted in pain. He was quiet in the minutes that followed, my guess trying to recollect himself so he could tell me whatever it was he thought I should know. "Very few people have ever been able to figure me out. To figure out my family and how we live our lives. It's rare when we let anyone close enough in to start recognizing the signs, we're usually gone by the time they understand what you do."

He was speaking in circles. Shaking my head slowly, and a little dramatically so that I could get him to actually look up at me, I sighed and pulled my feet underneath me even more. "Okay," I started out slowly, emphasising my tactics with my hands slightly once he'd tilted his face up to look at me under his impossibly long lashes. "I like to think I'm a pretty smart person but when you explain things? I feel stupid!"

My little outburst earned a light chuckle from Edward and he nodded then sighed. "Simply put?" He asked, his eyes still trained on my face. It was almost as if he were waiting for me to suddenly change my mind about having this coversation. It was something that wasn't going to happen. I'd been obsessing over him constantly. I couldn't wrap my mind around the enigma that engulfed him and drove me absolutely crazy. I couldn't figure him out, even though I'd hoped putting distance between us would make me no longer interested in him. It'd had the opposite affect. I was now _desperate_ for answers. Any kind of hint that would somehow ease my mind. Air felt clogged in my throat as I watched his movements carefully. He looked back down at his hands, his long and slender fingers twisted then disentangling as if he was trying to find his words written on his pale skin. "I'm not human, Houston. Far from it."


	10. Chapter 10

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

* * *

**Chapter Ten:**

I'd been right. Edward Cullen was a vampire. But not the kind of vampire that had been described in the pages of an Anne Rice novel. All of that was myths, he'd explained. They weren't scared of crosses, garlic didn't repell them, and you couldn't kill them by putting a stake through their hearts. The one that amused him the most? The whole coffin deal. According to Edward, he hadn't slept a wink since he'd been changed.

The thing that surprised me the most was not the fact that Edward was a vampire. I'd pretty much been resolved with that since the day I had first connected all of the pieces. The thing that surprised me most was everything he'd told me once he had finished recounting all of the myths that surrounded his kind. Weird thought to reconcile myself with. _His_ kind, even though I'd always been sure that he wasn't human. Edward was too perfect to be completely human. Every since the moment I'd met him, that hadn't been a thought I could connect him with. I'd never been able to see him as another normal, human boy.

The thirst was very real, he'd told me. But he and his entire family obstained from human blood. They hated the thought of taking human life, but the urge was still there and very strong. That had been the reason why Edward had initially looked at me like he wanted to kill me. He did. _I've never smelled anyone quite like you, Houston. That makes the thirst so much stronger. Your blood is more potent and intoxicating to me than any other human I've ever encountered_. I had, and still did cause him physical pain whenever he was around me. But yet he stayed. That was what I didn't understand.

Of course, there had been a reason that initially triggered him trying to get to know me. Vampires had gifts, powers that went above and beyond what becoming immortal did to the body. In his words, everyone brought something from their first life into the next. Edward's gift was hearing the thoughts in people's minds. That explained the quip he'd made about knowing just what the boys at Forks High was thinking on my first day of school. Of course, I'd blushed at that one but he didn't seem to notice. There was only one exception to his supernatural gift, he couldn't hear _my_ thoughts. That rattled me, but then again, it didn't. I was grateful that he couldn't see into my mind. I kept so many secrets to myself that I'd initially feared he knew every single thing I didn't want him to know about myself, my life, and my health. But he knew nothing. He could only learn things if I _told_ him and it wasn't something he was used to, being deaf to my thoughts.

It was a little amusing to watch though, to see the frustration grow on his features when I took too long to answer a question. Now that I had all of the answers, everything clicked into place. His confusion toward me at times, his blatant stares of hatred were not aimed at me but himself, but there was one thing that neither one of us could really explain yet. His irresistable urge to protect me. I hadn't been able to bring myself to explain that there were just some things out there that he would never be able to protect me from. Some were so embedded that I was even powerless.

By the time Edward left, to give me some time to collect my thoughts before Margie got home for the night, my head was swimming with all kinds of new information. He wasn't the only one in his family that had exceptional gifts. Alice could see future decisions once people had made them, and her husband (Edward had even clued me in to the innerworkings of his family), Jasper could control people's emotions. I could see the practicality in both, but I was worried about Alice's gift. Even though it'd been explained to me that she couldn't see the reasons or thoughts going into the decision, Alice still saw what a person planned to do once they had decided on it. No matter how miniscule or how grand. No one was exempt from her power like I was to Edward's.

Still curled up on the couch, I glanced at the clock with a soft sigh and shook my head slightly. Margie had already come home, eaten and forced me to eat too, then went to bed. I was alone for the first time that day and I found myself not really liking it. The silence had always liked to play tricks on me and tonight felt exceptionally weird. Maybe it was because I had finally been let in on the enigma that was Edward Cullen, but even before that... Something just didn't _feel_ right. So when a sudden knock sounded at the door, my guard instantly went up.

I knew that it wouldn't be Edward. He had offered to give me some time to digest everything I'd learned, so it was on me to make the next move in our startling friendship. No, it wasn't Edward now banging mercilessly against my front door. I climbed off the couch as Margie sleepily emerged from her room. I knew the knocking would wake her up, she was such a light sleeper sometimes. Once my eyes met hers, she nodded and gestured toward the door. I sighed and grabbed the baseball bat we kept tucked behind the chair I'd fallen into the day I'd kicked Edward out of my house and slowly pulled the door open. The heavy wooden paneling hadn't even passed the semi-circle point of the doorway when Derrick suddenly burst through. I was knocked to the ground and the bat I'd been clutching clattered noisily down the hall. Away from me.

All I could do was sit there in stunned silence as Derrick advanced on Margie, alcohol trailing behind him like some invisible cloak. "Margie, please." He started begging instantly, her tiny hands becoming lost in his larger ones as he focused his bloodshot eyes on her still heavy-lidded eyes. "I miss you, I want to come back."

"You know the rules." She muttered and I could tell that even half-asleep, she knew exactly what was going on. She was coherent enough to stand her ground and for that, I was extremely grateful. Deciding not to get in the way, I slowly rose to my feet and locked myself up in my room.

Even though there was now a doorway separating us, I could hear their words perfectly as Derrick begged my foster mother to see reason. Having me here was doing more harm than good to their relationship and if she loved him the way she claimed to, she had to make a choice. Swallowing the bile that started to rise in my throat when my stomach locked, I turned and silently decided to make the decision for her. Grabbing my duffel from it's place on the floor of my closet, I moved mechanically as I shoved my belongings into the canvas sack. I would leave a lot behind, I knew this. But I couldn't stay here. I couldn't complicate Margie's life when all she was trying to do was be happy. Could I really begrudge her that just because I was weak and found myself wanting to depend on her?

The answer was a resounding no. I exchanged my track pants for jeans and hastily threw an oversized sweater on over my tank top. Slinging the bag over my shoulder, I hitched up my newly packed messenger bag and headed for the front door. I had no idea where I was going, or what I was going to do. I just knew that I was leaving. Tonight. I could still hear Margie fighting feebily against everything that was being said negatively about me. So when I cleared the front door's landing, I cleared my throat loudly and focused my gaze on Margie.

"Choice is already made." I spoke calmly, surprised that my voice was as level as it was even though I could feel the joints and bones in my legs turning to Jello. "I never stay anywhere when I know I'm causing damage, so I'm gone." I nodded once then gave Margie a soft smile. "Make yourself happy, I'll be okay." And with that, I strode out of the house and forced my legs to carry me into the shadows before my foster mother, the last one I would ever have, could come after me and convince me to stay. It was hopeless, after all. I couldn't be swayed when my mind was already made up about something.

The first stop on my long walk was the Cullen house. If I was going to disappear, let Margie claim I'd run away, I would have to leave Forks. That meant leaving Edward and his family behind. I couldn't do that without saying goodbye first. I'd already grown impossibly attached to Carlisle and Esme in my short time in their lives, I didn't want to hurt them by just suddenly disappearing. And of course, there was Alice and...Edward. It would hurt to leave Alice, but as I stepped into the clearing surrounding the luscious mansion, I realized that leaving Edward was going to hurt the most. But I had to do it, and not just for my own sake.

My legs were already sore and beginning to cramp as I slowly climbed the steps of the front porch. My heart was beating frantically as I tried to figure out exactly what to say. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, and I would've been stupid to believe otherwise. Even though I hoped I could simply be let to fade into the shadows. I was used to that. To being let go. My lungs filled with air and I clamped my lips together as I knocked. But before I could even get through half of the action, the door was open and Edward appeared in front of me. His face was anxious and his body was rigid with concern. Things that threw me suddenly. "Houston?"

The way he said my name so effortlessly forced the breath I'd been holding to whirl loudly passed my clenched teeth. This definitely wasn't going to be easy. "Hey...Edward." I managed, already fidgeting with the strap of my duffel. It was already starting to dig into my shoulder and I couldn't help but wonder if I would even make it back into town, where the bus stop was. Thankfully I only dealt with cash and the savings I'd brought with me to Forks was tucked safely in the secret compartment of my bag. "I know it's dark outside and you asked me not to go anywhere after sunset but I didn't really have a choice."

Oh great, I was rambling now. Fabulous! I was not going to be able to do this as convincingly as I had with Margie.

"Come inside." Edward disappeared instantly, the door being left wide open. With a jolt, I realized that he'd moved _behind_ the door so that I could come inside. My steps were shaky, my sneakers echoing on the bright, pale wooden floor. Before I could even remember where Edward had moved to, new faces filled the room. Crap!

Keeping myself by the door, I just looked at every single face before I settled on Edward's perplexed stare. "I just came to say goodbye." My voice cracked at the last word, but I forced myself to go on. I could tell, just by the looks on the faces of Edward's parents and brothers, that he'd told them everything that had happened that day. That I knew exactly what they were. The only faces I didn't see were Alice's and Rosalie's. The beautiful blonde sister that had made no effort of hiding her distain for me since day one. But her husband, Emmett was there, as was Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme. "It's not because of anything that Edward did and I swear that I'm taking your secret to the grave with me. But I'm leaving...tonight. I'm making my foster mother's life miserable and I refuse to wait around for her boyfriend to get me chucked back into some group home. You're the first real set of friends that I've ever known and I didn't want to dishonor that by just leaving. So..." Trailing off with a sigh, I squared my shoulders and looked around at all the painfully beautiful eyes staring back at me. The gaze that seemed to strike me the worst was Esme's. Her golden eyes were stricken with remorse and I could see faint strands of her rich, dark hair start to tremble as her stone-encased body followed suit. "Thank you, for putting up with me. I know I don't make life easy, but I promise that no one will search for you because of me."

My words were beginning to hollow out and fade as I slowly turned back around to leave again. I had just made it out onto the large porch when I heard the ghost of footsteps echo against the wooden deck. Whirling around, I was surprised to find Edward following me. The cynical part of my mind had instantly assumed that he would be the one that was most relieved by my decision to leave. But just one look at his face, the pain burning in his eyes was the first thing to give him away. "Houston..."

"I don't have a choice here." I breathed and let my shoulders slump as I looked at him. I could tell, just by the way my shoulders fell and the downward curve of my lips that I had no outward defences built up against him. "This is for the best. I don't belong here."

"And just where do you think you belong?" Edward's voice was barely above a whisper too as he advanced on me a little more. On sheer instinct alone, my body tensed as if I was waiting for some kind of attack. When hurt flashed through his dark eyes, I was quick to assume that had been the wrong move to make. Forcing myself to relax, I just sighed but stayed silent when his velvety voice trudged on. "Where do you plan to go now, Houston? Have you given any thought to what you're going to do now?"

"Of course I have." I muttered on reflex alone. Truth was, I had _no_ idea of what I was going to do now. I barely had any money to my name and no means of transportation. A bus ticket alone would completely deplete what little funds I had set aside for this exact moment. The frown on my face was easily recognizable in the dim light of his porch and I was vaguely aware of the bodies starting to crowd around the Cullen's open front door. "I don't have anywhere to go." I sighed, almost dejectedly and looked out at the dark meadow surrounding the house. I couldn't bring myself to look at Edward, to see the sudden flare of victory in his eyes. He'd won, he knew he would if he came after me. Even though I was trying to leave, even though I _knew_ that this was the best plan for everyone involved, I was still powerless against the beautiful vampire now leaning over me. "But I've never had anywhere to go." My voice rang slightly with vigor when I finally looked up at him again and unconsciously squared my shoulders in a futile attempt to hold my own in this arguement. "So right now? Isn't really all that different from what I'm used to. Please..." I sighed and my tensed shoulders slumped as my pleading eyes locked with his blazing determination. "Just let me go, okay? All I was really supposed to be to you was a lab partner. Just another girl in another town for you. You weren't supposed to form any kind of attachment to me. That's how all of this is supposed to work, right? Keep your secret safe at all costs, don't let anyone in that doesn't need to be. Well...Edward, I don't _need _to be let in. I'm just someone you're gonna have to say goodbye to when your family runs out of time and has to relocate before anyone notices that you aren't going to age a single day."

The determination I'd seen in his eyes just seconds before melted away almost instintaniously, being replaced with a kind of pain and anguish that I'd never seen swimming in his bewildering eyes before. I thought I'd know what it would feel like to see something like that in his eyes but I definitely wasn't prepared. I wasn't prepared for any of this. For Edward coming into my life, for being concerned for me and wanting to protect me and I surely wasn't prepared to say goodbye to him so soon. "You're not just some girl, Houston." He nearly growled as his body tensed in anger, his hands clenching the way I would always see in Physics when my scent unknowingly hit him like a battering ram. "You haven't been _some girl_ since the moment I met you. Why else do you think I let you see what I really am? That means something to me and it ought to mean something to you."

All I could do was just stand there as he blew my entire defence out of the water. His cool breath was washing over my face like the waves of an ocean as he continued to stand haunched over me. I wasn't going to win this. Edward was too powerful and he seemed to know exactly what to do in order to get what he wanted. What that exactly was? I had no idea. But I did know that I probably wasn't going to be able to leave in peace.

Esme's movements were quiet as she joined us out on the porch, her snow-white hand portraying no real contrast as she reached out to restrain her son. And really, that was who he was to her in my eyes. One of her children. And feverishly, against every single cell in my being, I began to wish that the title was mine to hold onto as well. Esme Cullen was like my own mother in so many ways and my heart began to ache as I watched her position herself between me and Edward. "No one has to decide anything tonight." Her calm voice was clear in the night air, even though she was speaking in barely above a whisper. Her bright gold eyes flickered from Edward's motionless stance onto my petrified green eyes. "Houston, it's late and I know you must be exhausted. Will you please just stay with us tonight then we can sit down and talk about things clearly in the morning? I'll be beside myself with worry and what kind of mother would I be if I let you go out into the dark by yourself?"

That was what did it. She pulled the mother card and I was just as powerless against her as I was against Edward. With a quiet, strained yet resigned sigh, I just nodded and let my head slump forward in defeat. I was tired, to be honest. Beyond the point of exhaustion. But I was so used to holding myself together, of forcing the exhaustion away that I just kept pushing myself. It was something my doctors had scolded me about countless times. But really, what could you do about your esential genetic makeup? I was too used to being the one taking care of others. I didn't know _how_ to let someone take care of me. Even though it was one of the things I wanted most in life.


	11. Chapter 11

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Eleven:**

I didn't say anything as I tried to make myself comfortable in Edward's bedroom. Being there now was so completely different from the time we'd spent working on a Physics project together. That time felt so far away now, like some other lifetime.

Edward had left me alone long enough for me to change into a pair of pajamas and foolishly, I left my tank top on. Even though I knew it would expose the outter hints of my secret. But I was just so _tired._ Reaching up, I continued to purse my lips together as I pulled my shoulder-length hair back into a ponytail. I'd never really been used to long hair until now, but after all the time I'd been forced to keep it cut short, the length was like a welcome change. I just still hadn't mastered the art of sleeping with my hair down. It felt too weird.

A light sound came from the door and whirling around, I found Edward leaning gracefully against the frame of his bedroom door. One ankle crossed over the other, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his jeans. "Do you have everything you need?" His quiet voice was still like velvet, loosening imaginary kinks in my body as he spoke.

Glancing at the couch, which now had a blanket and pillow contrasting against the dark leather in the moonlight streaming in from the window wall, I nodded and looked at him again as he ghosted into the room. My hands fell to my sides but I wasn't fast enough. Confusion creased his features as he leaned over me again, his cold fingers bringing goosebumps to my skin when he brushed the hem of my tank top back to where it had ridden up when I was pulling my hair back. "What's that?" He asked casually, forcing a small smile to his lips. At least, it looked forced to me. "A weird tattoo?"

My stomach churned dubiously underneath his feather-light touch as he reached out with his other hand and brushed his marble fingertip against every single dot marring my lower abdomen. "You could say that." I breathed, my eyelids threatening to flutter closed. Just because of his touch. A calming effect that I'd never seen coming. It really was going to be hard to say goodbye to him in the morning. Slowly pulling away from him, I tucked the hem of my tank top against the elastic waist of my pajamas and easily pivoted onto the couch. My legs remained tucked underneath me as I straightened the blanket out and laid it over the cool leather underneath me.

Edward stayed where he was until I was leaning back against the fluffy white pillow behind my back and sat down on the other end of the couch. It was painful to watch him move, every single step and action graceful, yet had an aggressive undertone ringing through it. He could be deadly when he wanted to be, that much I was absolutely sure of. "May I ask what it is, exactly?" He pressed, no hesitation in his voice the way it was in the voices of others that asked about my weird tattoo.

I shrugged and flattened my arms over my stomach, which was still churning and starting to twist in a low roar of pain. The pain I was used to by now and gave no thought to. "Just dots on my skin. I got bored one day and they never went away." Okay, so it wasn't the _entire_ truth but I knew that if I let him in on my own horrifying secret? There was no way the Cullens were going to let me leave Forks. Especially Edward's father. Chewing lightly on my lower lip, so that I wouldn't pierce the skin and send Edward into a bloodlust frenzy, I tilted my head slightly and flipped my eyes up to his face. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." He inclined his head then turned and settled onto the couch. It was a purely humanistic gesture, his body screamed with the effort that wasn't blind to me anymore. "You can ask me anything you want."

Nodding, I swallowed thickly then sat up and leaned my arms on my thighs. "Alice has Jasper, Carlisle has Esme and Rosalie has Emmett. Why are you the only one without someone? Haven't you ever met someone that you want to share the rest of eternity with the way they have?"

I wasn't sure if my question was one he'd been expecting, or even wanted to answer as his expression changed. But after a couple of seconds, I was relieved to find that he was just thinking about his answer. I hadn't offended him the way I feared I would. "No," His answer was resounding and rang through his voice convincingly as he lifted his eyes to meet mine. Almost as if it were his way of letting me know that he was telling me the truth. "Esme always feared that I would never find someone, that I was too young when I changed and something was wrong with me."

"Why would she think something like that?" I asked before I really had the chance to stop myself. I wasn't sure if questions were allowed. Or rather, piling on more questions to the one I'd first delivered. Either way, I wasn't sure.

Edward just smiled gently at me, his face betraying no annoyance at my curiosity. "Because of the time period I lived in when I was changed. Houston, how old do you think I am?"

I'd never been good at guessing ages! So because of that, I just shrugged and held my hands up slightly in a surrendering motion before relaxing them back to my lap. "Obvious answer is seventeen. But that's how you're always going to look."

"Yes." He chuckled with a small incline of his head then went on. "I was seventeen when I changed. But that was in 1918, during World War I when the Spanish Influenza was wreaking havoc in my hometown of Chicago. It was Carlisle that found me, both of my parents were already dead because of the disease and I was next. That was the only way he's ever chosen to change someone. It's the only way his compassion will ease the guilt. If he finds a life already fading away."

Involuntarily, a gasp filled my throat and my eyes widened considerably. I knew he'd see my reaction and probably think the worst of it. After all, Edward did seem to have a knack for jumping to the wrong conclusions. "You were all...dying? When Carlisle found you?"

The only movement Edward made was nodding as his expressive eyes took in my shocked expression. "I was dying of the Spanish flu, Esme had fallen off a cliff. Rosalie...well, her transformation is not my story to tell. And as for Emmett? He was being mauled by a bear when Rosalie found him and brought him to Carlisle. Alice and Jasper joined us after Emmett, already years into this life."

"Wow." I mouthed the three letters separately then let my next breath whoosh them together. Carlisle only created his family so that they wouldn't have to die. He didn't transform anyone that already had a future stretched out ahead of them. Already, this made my head hurt and I suddenly didn't want to think about it. For some odd reason, thinking about Edward's transformation on the brink of death gave me a small sliver of hope. Hope that I wasn't entirely deserving of. After all, I barely knew the Cullens. They knew next to nothing about me. Having this sort of hope felt wrong in a million different ways.

"I'm sorry." He sighed and pulled me from my plunging thoughts. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't." I reacted quickly with a furious shake of my head. The action caused me to get dizzy and I winched when my dull, managable headache flared angrily. "Ow. Did that too fast."

There was that ghost of a chuckle again as he shook his own head slightly to the left, then the right. "Anyway, while I was human, I only cared about turning eighteen so that I could be drafted into the war. I wanted to be a soldier more than I wanted anything. So because of that, because I hadn't found love in my human life, only known the love of my parents, Esme worried that I wasn't going to be able to change that in this life."

"Do you think she's right?" All thoughts of Carlisle and changing flew out of my mind when the conversation drifted back to the subject it had started with. No doubt, Edward's doing so I couldn't dwell on one specific thing. "I mean, do you ever hope to find love?"

"Do you?" He asked suddenly, easily turning the question onto me. It made my cheeks flame in embarrassment and I ducked my head toward my suddenly raised knees. I still remembered what my blood did to him and was terrified of making things more difficult for him. Not to mention paranoid. I was always paranoid about something. "Do you hope to someday find love and everything that comes with it?"

"No." I answered calmly, yet quickly. I never had. I had no good role models in that area. He, at least, had his family to show him what it was like. From the outside at least. "The only person that I've ever loved, and had love me back, died when I was nine. I've never dated, never really wanted to. I guess...I just grew up wondering what the point to it all was. My parents were a crummy example and staying away from it all together kind of felt like I wouldn't be doomed to repeat their history." Not to mention I wasn't even sure if I had enough time _to_ fall in love. But he didn't need to know that. Or know that my mind had miraciously been changed on this particular subject. "But this isn't about me. I want to know if _you_ think you'll ever find it. You've got more experience with it than I do."

"True." He mused with one shoulder pushing up into his body. "I guess." He added in then sighed and relaxed back against the couch. Another prop move, I was sure of it. I'd seen him turn to proverbial stone at the drop of a hat and stay that way. "I hope that I might. I hope that I'm not doomed to spend the rest of my existance alone, watching my family have someone to walk through all of this with. But it's different for me than it is for you. I'll never grow old, neither will my family."

"So, what?" I started and let my legs fall back onto the couch. "No female vampires out there willing to take a chance on you? Don't believe that for a second." I scoffed then, after realizing exactly what I'd said, my cheeks flushed and I looked down at my legs, suddenly intent on studying the pale and dark blue pattern running up the inside of my legs.

"No." I didn't have to look at him to know that he was smiling. The ringing tenor in his voice confirmed that for me. "Not that I haven't come across some beautiful vampires in my time, I just...am not attracted to them. They don't have that special quality that I've been unknowingly looking for."

"So then, if it's unknowing, how will you _know_ when you find it?" Wow, I was talking in riddles. Again. Oh well, he was exceptionally intelligent. He could keep up with me easily. "You think someone's gonna come up, slap you upside the head and say '_HEY! Girl of your dreams right there!_'? Doesn't work that way, Edward."

"Maybe it does." I finally did look up at that remark. And the expression smiling back at me confused me more than any one thing he'd ever said to me. It was almost as if someone already _had_ come up, smacked him and pointed out the girl of his dreams. Almost. But I couldn't be sure. Even though I had already solved _the_ engima that was Edward Cullen, I found myself on the verge of trying to unravel another one. Only I had no time to start piecing this one together. After all, I was leaving in the morning. The Cullens' generosity had an expiration date on it.


	12. Chapter 12

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Twelve:**

"You don't _really _have to go, you know that right?" I was sitting in the passenger seat of Edward's Volvo as he blazed through town. I hadn't gotten away from the Cullens easily, but they eventually let me do what I felt I had to. With one stipulation. Edward drove me wherever I wanted to go. He just...had decided not to listen to me when I pointed him in the direction of the Forks' only Greyhound bus stop in town.

"Yes I do." I muttered, but kept my eyes on the window to my right. Looking at him was just as dangerous now as it had been last night in the darkness of his room. Things had gotten personal for the first time between us and the timing all but sucked in my opinion. I had started letting my guard down much too late for anything good to come of this. I decided to leave and trust Edward Cullen in the exact same night. I'd also realized a few things while I slept fitfully on the couch in his bedroom. Things that were going to become closely guarded secrets. "I told you, no one to stay with and don't even dare mention Carlisle and Esme taking me in. I'm not burdening your family when they probably don't even like me." I knew for a fact that Edward's painfully, drop-dead-gorgeous sister, Rosalie; loathed me enough to span a few hundred, thousand lifetimes.

I jumped a little when Edward only responded by chuckling quietly under his breath. Of course he would find something I said funny. I should've been used to this by now.

"What?" I huffed and finally looked over at him, regretting it instantly when I noticed his smile float all the way up into his eyes. Was he even aware of how hideously unfair he was about things?! Probably not.

"My family adores you." He announced quietly, his tone still light and cheerful as he glanced over at me. First thing I ever noticed about Edward's driving? He hardly ever looked out at the road. Kind of freaked me out but I guess I could understand why he didn't really need to now. Vampires were pros at mult-tasking. Yet _another_ thing that made me feel vastly inferiour to him.

"Sure they do." I snorted back a quiet laugh and nodded as I looked out my window again. The scenery was blowing past the Volvo in a dizzying rate but yet, I had no warning voices in the back of my head. That was how much I trusted him. "If...you count Rosalie taking special time out to _glare_ at me as love and adoration." Again, another light chuckle from Edward. Why did I suddenly have a feeling that the rest of this car ride was going to be spent with him laughing at me? Looking out the window instead of addressing his laughter, I just started to fidget in my seat then abruptly looked over at him. "Where are you taking me?!"

Instead of laughing at me, he looked over at me sheepishly then shrugged his shoulders slowly. "I thought of a plan while you were sleeping. I know you're probably going to say no anyway, but I figured that I had to try. I can't just drop you off somewhere without knowing where you're going."

"So...what?!" I shot out shrilly, suddenly even more uncomfortable in the seat than I had when we left his house. "Edward, I didn't ask for your help! It's not up to you to take care of me."

Anger clouded his features in less than two seconds. His expressions hardened instantly and when he looked at me, his jaw was rigid underneath his stone skin, with flared nostrils and dark eyes. "I'm not letting you go anywhere without a plan. You can hate me if you want, Houston. I'll be able to live with that if I have the peace of mind in knowing that you're okay."

Anger was rushing through me at an alarming rate. Even though this was the one thing I had always wanted most, someone to step in and take care of me for once, I still had no idea how to cave and just let this happen. To let Edward help me when I seemed to need it the most. Silently seething, I looked out the window again then quickly sat up and grabbed the doorhandle. "Pull the car over."

"No." If it were possible, his features became even more defined in his anger.

"Pull. The. Car. Over." I enunciated each word carefully and slowly, almost as if I were talking to someone that had just begun to learn what words meant in certain context. "I don't need your help and more importantly? I don't _want_ your help!" I was lying and that was something I'd never been able to do very well. But as I sat there staring at him with just as much anger in my face as his, I could tell that I was fighting yet another losing battle. He wasn't going to pull the car over. He wasn't going to stop and let me out in the middle of nowhere. Even though it was daylight with no impending signs of rain. Yet. I just wasn't sure if I would be lucky enough to get indoors before that happened.

Edward's jaw stayed clenched and I could see the faint flickers in his throat as he swallowed repeatedly. This time I knew for certain why he did this. Any time he got angry, one of his 'defenses' as he'd called it, flared up. The thing that made him the most powerful, and the most deadly, was the venom that coated his teeth. Venom that could do one of two things; render their prey unconscious or ultimately turn them into what he was. His venom was what had caused his transformation. And just as I expected, he didn't bother to slow the car down. Instead, he just pushed his foot further onto the gas pedal and kept going. We didn't say anything until he reached Port Angeles, a neighboring town that I'd only seen after a connected flight from Seattle brought me here.

"What're we doing here?" I finally asked, sighing in exasperation as I looked at him again. I couldn't continue being angry at him. I didn't have enough fight, or energy in me to be mad at him for simply wanting to make sure I had somewhere to go.

"I got you an apartment here." Edward finally answered, keeping his eyes on the road as his speed slowed. Silence fell again as he manuevered the pristine vehicle through streets and the main part of Port Angeles, a tourist trap if I'd ever seen one. "You have an interview with a lady that runs a local coffee shop. She's looking for some daytime help but I can help you find something else in case you're going to go back to school." His words faded abruptly after that and the car lurched to a stop in front of a pretty nice-looking apartment complex. "And I really think you _should_ go back to school, Houston. Even if you won't come back to Forks and let us take care of you, please promise that you'll at least think about finishing school."

Heaving a sigh, I couldn't clearly think about what to say as I took in the new surroundings. Edward had been right, his planning seemed almost meticulous and I had the sinking suspicion that he'd done all of this while I was sleeping. Shaking my head slightly, I just peeked at him sideways then gestured to my right. "Show me inside then? I have a feeling you won't be going home until you're sure I'm up there safe and sound."

I recieved that knee-weakening grin as he nodded then effortlessly vaulted out of the car. My door was opened before I could remember how to perform that simple action then we were moving into the enclosed hallway that would lead to the apartment Edward had rented for me.

"What if I can't make the rent?" I stressed quietly, silently formulating a plan of my own. I knew he'd get wind of my betrayal as soon as he got home, but I really didn't care. I'd been around the Cullens long enough to know how to work my way around Alice's gift. After all, it wasn't on the Cullens, or Edward individually; to take care of me. No matter how badly I wanted to cave and just ask him to take me back to Forks. I had to do this. I had to stand on my own two feet and make something for myself. I didn't know how much more time I had left and I wasn't about to squander it and spend more time agonizing over the things I'd only _dreamed_ about doing.

It had been three months since I last saw Edward. I'd been good and stayed in the apartment he rented for at least three days, long enough to give him an update on what I had set up for me then left. There was no longer any way to contact me and I was grateful that I'd never made enough money to buy myself a cell phone. As I got ready for my new journey, I realized something startling when I checked my little cash fund and found 20,000 more than I'd originally saved up. No doubt from Edward. Or Alice, who had probably forseen that I wouldn't go along with her brother's plan of attack.

Either way, I ended up in Sequim, Washington. Something wouldn't let me go too far from Port Angeles, where I was sure Edward would look for me once he finally recieved the news that I'd jumped ship from his carefully thought-out plans. But as much as I cared about hurting him, knowing I'd done that by striking out on my own anyway, I settled in Sequim and was able to find a pretty decent little job. That job led to the owner giving me a place to sleep. I didn't have much to my name, and there wasn't much that I needed in life. Just some semblence of a bed, a roof to keep the rain off me, and somewhere warm to go when I got too chilled outside. Because of me no longer seeing a doctor regularly, that wasn't in my budget anymore as a waitress at a local diner, I had no idea how far my condition had progressed. But I could tell that I was moving away from improvements by the way my body reacted. I was still trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. That I didn't have searing headaches that made it difficult for me to concentrate, or that the cramps in my lower body could be so severe that I was paralyzed for at least ten minutes. That was when my body was feeling _nice. _The longest had been an hour I spent curled up in the room I was renting above the diner, biting into my pillow to keep from screaming and drawing attention to myself. Things were definitely getting worse. And they were finally leaking through the carefully coifed mask that I'd held in place since the age of fourteen.

I was much more thin now and I had to invest in a belt just so my jeans would stay on my body. I couldn't afford new clothes at first but eventually, I broke down and bought at least one pair of jeans that would now fit right. That was as far as my 'splurging' allowed. I wasn't going to let myself get carried away. Not if this was the fresh start I'd been craving.

I hated lying to Mrs. Jacobs, the woman that had taken a chance on me and not only gave me a job, but a place to live. She was under the impression that I was eighteen and I'd even given her some sob story about how I was escaping from an overbaring family that wanted to do things their way, not mine. It wasn't entirely a lie. There were things I was escaping. But I eventually admitted to myself that everything I was trying to run from had just followed me to Sequim anyway.

My disease was getting worse, but my financial situation more stable. I was alone in every sense of the word, but it didn't provide me with the comfort that I'd been so desperate for while in Forks. The saying was true. Just because you got your heart's desire, didn't mean it always lived up to your wildest of expectations and hopes. This? My new life? Definitely wasn't what I had been hoping for and it was all one person's fault.

But after another week, I couldn't even blame him anymore. I couldn't blame Edward for my unhappiness. I'd had no idea that he impacted my life so quickly, and in such a short amount of time, that everything I wanted had changed. Part of me was still much too stubborn to acknowledge that.

Glancing at the clock, I just sighed and slowly lifted myself off the air mattress that I had brought into the room to sleep on. I had five minutes to get to work and I wasn't even dressed yet. The cramps had been so bad today that all I wanted to do was escape into daydreams. But even those didn't help when every single one transformed into the new hopes I had for my life. I was considerably more slow in moving as I walked over to my tiny dresser and pulled out the only pair of jeans that fit. Once those and a random flannel shirt covered my weakening body, I ran a brush through my hair, slipped my shoes on and headed down the long flight of stairs that would lead me right into the back of the coffee shop.

Mrs. Jacobs was there, washing out coffee pots when I finally emerged from underneath the sloping ceiling that covered the stairwell. "You don't look so good today, Houston. Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm good." I managed a light grin at her and came up behind her. "And let me get that, you must have some customers out front that need you."

She smiled at me, a warm and motherly grin as she shook her head then gestured at the shelf where I stowed my apron every night after work. "It's your day to cover the front dear, I have everything under control back here. Go, try and make some money, okay?"

Doing as I was told, I just sighed and forced myself out front. Like I'd predicted, there was a small line gathering at the front of the counter that took up a good part of the dining area. The counter was low by normal height standards, reaching my stomach when I stood behind it. Securing my apron in place, I plastered on a smile and walked up to the antique cash register that Mrs. Jacobs' husband had bought from a pawn shop just down the street when they first opened the place. Everything seemed mundane and ordinary enough as I took care of the first three customers, getting them orders. Then I noticed the one person that could throw a wrench into everything I'd fought so hard to create for myself. I didn't even bother to smile when my case worker, Aaron Carmichael stepped up to the counter.

"Nice to see you again, Ms. Morgan."


	13. Chapter 13

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Thirteen:**

"Why are you here again?" I asked for what felt like the millionth time as I stared blankly at Aaron.

Of course, he was smiling and enjoying the cup of coffee that Mrs. Jacobs had claimed was on the house. After he told her that he was a long lost friend of mine that had come by to check up on me. At least he hadn't completely blown my lie right out of the already choppy water. I still remembered the skeptical look Mrs. Jacobs had given me when I agreed to sit down and talk to him. At least for five minutes. That was all the time I was willing to offer him. "I think you already know the answer to that, Houston. How long did you think it was going to take before I found you?"

It was just in the way he said it. Aaron Carmichael was the furthest thing from a social worker that I'd ever seen in my life. His sandy blonde hair was always cut close, his angular features clean-shaven and he was probably the most gym-obsessed person I'd ever met. But nothing about him screamed civil servant. His family was rich and I vaguely remembered him telling me that he had come from Florida. The Keys to be exact. We had never really spent much time getting to know one other when he was first assigned to my case three years ago. I probably wasn't the best foster child to have, but I never entirely went out of my way to be mean to the guy. I just didn't trust a whole lot of people and the person in charge of where I would end up living was very high on that list of untrustworthies. But this guy was in my life. Whether I liked it or not. Sighing quietly, I just flipped brown hair, which was now to my shoulderblades, behind my covered shoulder and stared at him blankly. "I was honestly hoping you'd never find me. Who ended up giving away my whereabouts?"

"No good social worker reveals their sources." He grinned at me sideways with a sly little wink that made my stomach churn and the hair on the back of my head stand on end. I definitely didn't like this guy and the faster I turned eighteen, the happier I was going to be. He straightened up slightly in his chair and idly messed with the cardboard coffee cup in his hands. "I spoke to your doctor, Houston..."

Oh great. That was already going to start rearing its ugly head. Fabulous. "So?" I challenged quietly and unconsciously haunched over the table a little more. Last thing in the world I wanted was this guy blabbing about my health records. "This isn't the first time I've had this diagnosis." And really, it wasn't. It was nothing new to go through all of this again, but this round was vastly different. For one, I'd stopped treatment completely and I had no idea what my latest bloodworks or what my tests would show now. But for some odd reason, I didn't really care anymore. I already had my death sentence handed down, why prolong the inevitable?

"Houston," He started again, saying my name a little more firmly than he had before. "You should come back to Forks. Dr. Copeland can get you back on your schedule, Margie can get you back in school so you can graduate on time..."

"Wait!" I shot out and threw my hands up to stop him. "What're you talking about? Margie doesn't want me with her anymore, I thought she told you that."

Adam, of course, looked completely unphased as my hands lightly slapped against the foamica tabletop between us. "Actually, she's still willing to keep you until your eighteenth birthday. She _wants_ to and won't accept anymore foster children right now. She told me that she made a promise and intends to stick by it."

I couldn't help it. No matter how hard I was trying right then, I just could not stop the snort of a laugh that filled my throat and hit the air with a bitter twinge. Margie. Wanted me?! She wanted me back in her house and the only thing I could worry about was Derrick. I'd left so that she wouldn't _have_ to choose between us. Was it even possible that she'd made the decision anyway? That a foster parent had finally chosen me over a flavor of the month?! The thought was mindblowing but flattering at the same time. I honestly had no idea of how to react. "You're kidding." I finally breathed after a few beats of silence. Sound emitting from my lips was only for Aaron's benefit, who now looked even more moody than before. Shaking my head quickly, I pushed away from the table with a new sense of determination and stood up. "I'm sorry but my mind's made up. I can't go back."

I knew that Aaron wouldn't like my response. After all, I was still working under the assumption that I even _had_ a choice in the matter! I didn't, really, and Aaron Carmichael had the law on his side. He could forcibly take me back to Forks if he wanted. Back to Margie and...back to Edward. The name alone sent an electric shock through me as I ignored Aaron's voice and vaulted upstairs. I could see Mrs. Jacobs looking at me worriedly out of the corner of my eye but I didn't pay any attention to her either. I couldn't. My mind had unwillingly strayed to the one thing I'd sworn I wouldn't think about when I left the spacious safety of the apartment Edward had put in the Cullens' name. I didn't really notice when I reached my tiny room, my movements pausing to mechanically throw the lock to prevent Aaron from following me and collapsed on the air mattress that was tucked into the corner furthest from the door. By all intents and purposes the room was the smallest space I'd ever lived in. A battered dresser lined the wall across from my air mattress, which was piled with blankets and a single pillow that I'd taken from Edward's apartment. I couldn't even think of that place as my own. It was his.

My legs curled to my chest instinctively once I'd kicked my feet free of my shoes and moaned quietly as pain ricocheted through me at all sides. From the pain in my head as a headache formed, to the pain in my chest that was a direct result of Edward's short time in my life, down to the ache flooding my hips and upper thighs. I was powerless to fight it all off. It was just too much and I suddenly felt much too weak. I had been right in telling Margie that I was sick of fighting. My body was getting weaker by the day and I knew it as clearly as I knew everything else about my suddenly disparaging life. The pain would attack me more mercilessly as time went on, taking as much of my energy with it as it could possibly get. This condition...this _disease_ was consuming me from the inside and for the first time since I was fourteen, I was completely and utterly terrified of it. I was terrified of my own body.

Aaron didn't show back up at the diner for close to a week. Every day, I decended the stairs with dread, expecting him to greet me with a patronizing smile and more talk about needing to pack so I could go back to Forks. But each day, I was disappointed. That wasn't exactly the right word to use, my reaction to Aaron's absence was nothing like the reactions I would have when I entered the lunchroom on a sunny day to find Edward and Alice not in attendance. Those were the days that had hurt, they were increasingly more horrific than the thought of coming downstairs to find Aaron waiting for me.

I continued on with my schedule as normally as possible, working whenever Mrs. Jacobs needed me to. It was starting to fade into the summer and that was when tourist season picked up in the Olympic Peninsula. I'd remembered that much from my short time in Forks. I'd lost track of the number of times when Margie or Derrick, even James would prattle on about expecting all these great things when the weather turned warmer. However, there was nothing for me to expect. Not really. Even though graduation had been looming since the moment I stepped foot in Forks, I wasn't excited. I had no desire to act like a normal high school senior. It was just another town, another school filled with people that I didn't really want to spend time with. All but two. Two that had impacted my life more deeply than I could've realized.

The dreams were even tougher to get away from now. Edward was in every single memory my mind conjured up when my eyes would finally close. His perfect smile, his angelic features smoothed and calm. Sometimes his melodic voice rang in laughter, but there were times when the dreams turned dark. Long after I woke, I would still be able to hear the anger and resistance in his voice when I did the one thing I'd never found the courage to do while we were still in each other's lives. In my dreams, I already had his reaction to the part of my life I kept so meticulously hidden.

Last night, the dream had been increasingly hard to bare. I had dreamed that I was back in Forks. I was wasting away and couldn't hide it from anyone. I was back at school and the kids were staring more than they had when I first arrived to town. My clothes hung off my frame and finally, Edward wanted to know exactly what was going on. This dream differed every single time I had it, but last night had taken on a more violent undertone when Edward effortlessly ripped open the flannel shirt I always wore in that dream. And there, for his daunting, vampiric eyes; were all my secrets exposed. The smaller swell of my breasts as they faded into the white cotton of my bra, the outline of my ribs protruding painfully against my washed-out complection. I was gaunt and thin and...hideously unattractive. I came crashing back to reality, gasping for air just seconds after Edward's lovely face contorted in disgust and shoved me aside. In my dreams, he had finally realized just how ugly I truly was.

Try as I might, I couldn't push the dream into the back of my mind as I slowly and carefully decended the stairs that led from my room, out into the diner. Mrs. Jacobs was nowhere to be seen once my sneakered feet finally hit the cracked linoleum and a careful inspection revealed that she hadn't even opened up that morning. Something that had never, in the twenty-year history of this place, ever happened. Even when her husband had died, the woman threw herself into her work. She had even stood behind the counter and made funeral arrangements for the love of her life as she took orders and fielded disgruntled customers. I didn't stop moving until I stood in the large window that took up one side of the dining area. Leaning my forehead against the still-cool glass, I just sighed and momentarily let the pain in my belly swell and take over. It was easier this way, to sometimes wait for the agony to pass. Sometimes it did, and other times I had to fight through it like I had so many countless times before. But when I noticed a familiar figure standing out on the sidewalk in front of the diner, I pushed movement into my body.

The door was thrown open before I had a second to think of my actions. There, on the concrete, shadowed against the drizzling rain, was Carlisle Cullen. The last person I had expected to find me here. "Dr. Cullen." I rushed out, my past bringing in formalities that had been pushed down my throat by one of many foster parents.

He flashed me a gentle, yet dazzling smile as I stopped in front of him and opened his arms invitingly. "Hello Houston, I hope you don't mind me stopping by."

"Not at all." The words rushed through me in a quiet whisper as I stepped forward and let myself be momentarily calmed by the stone presence of Carlisle's arms. He pulled away just seconds later and held me at arm's length. The smile was still on his face, but I could tell that the corners of his lips were a little tighter than they had been before. His gold eyes assessed me quickly, the way only a long-accredited doctor could, sweeping from the crown of my limp, dark hair; down to the soles of my worn Converse.

"Are they feeding you all right here?"

I almost laughed at his assumption that I was with another foster family, but forced it away as I shook my head and completely disentangled myself from his hug. "No, no I'm in charge of myself now. I guess eating kind of has come secondary to working."

Carlisle Cullen looked very much like a father as he shook his head slowly at me. "Houston, you need to eat. Your strength is more important than money." I cringed inwardly when I came to the prompt realization that he had probably checked up on me after I left. Of course, he had full access to my medical records and who could resist a Cullen? There wasn't a soul on Earth that could, I was convinced of it. They were the best predators in history and I knew they could get whatever they wanted. That included my secret medical history that had driven me out of Forks in the first place. But as I continued to look at him and listen to his words, a small calm filled my burning stomach. He still didn't know. He would've come right out and said it if he had. Or much worse, he would've told Edward and it would've been that Cullen that I spotted through the diner window. But it wasn't. Carlisle was the one standing in front of me, looking like a god among the male pedestrians. "How are you holding up here?"

"Good." I nodded and forced a small smile on my face. I didn't believe my simple answer anymore than he seemed to and I braced myself for the lecture that I was sure to follow.

But Carlisle just continued to look at me the way a fatherly figure looked at someone connected to his family. I wasn't even sure if that pertained to me but the tiny, hopeful voice in my head was suddenly screaming that it held truth. Why else would he be so far away from home? "Why did you leave? Edward was very persistant in obtaining that apartment for you and I find you here, instead of Port Angeles. Can I ask why that is?"

"I couldn't let him take care of me." I rushed out in a quiet whisper then my eyes unwillingly darted to the diner behind me. Mrs. Jacobs was finally moving around inside, slowly. Her arthritis was probably flaring up and I stepped back again and gestured behind me. "I...need to help her set up. You're welcome to come in if you want, Dr. Cullen."

"Only if you call me Carlisle. I told you, no need for that formality between us."

The small smile on my face became a little more genuine and I nodded as I led him inside. Mrs. Jacobs looked surprised, which quickly turned to awe when she saw Carlisle and all his immortal perfection. "Who's your friend, Houston?" She asked, nearly tripping over herself as she rushed forward to meet us.

Laughing nervously, I waved between them slowly as I made the formal introductions. "Mrs. Jacobs, this is a...family friend, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle, this is my boss Mrs. Jacobs."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." There was the unwavering sincerity peppering Carlisle's voice as he inclined his head slightly toward the tiny, elderly woman beside me. "I suppose we have you to thank for keeping an eye on Houston, here." He paused long enough to wink at me before his full attention was back on Mrs. Jacobs. "Unfortunately, I've come to take her back home. My family and I miss her terribly and I hope you don't think of me as rude for asking you to let us take her off your hands."

"Oh!" I'd never seen Mrs. Jacobs blush until right then. Her round cheeks exploded in color as she nodded then started to fuss at me. "Houston, you never told me that your parents had such compassionate friends. You should've considered staying with them instead of running all this way out here." She scolded me with a warm smile then turned it onto Carlisle. "I don't mind at all. As much as I'm going to miss her, she does need to be back with family. Where she belongs."

I could only gape at the two figures standing around me as they discussed my leaving. As if I had no choice in the matter. Of course, I didn't and I knew very well who had told Carlisle right where to find me. Aaron Carmichael had disappeared to call in reinforcements.


	14. Chapter 14

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Fourteen:**

"I'm sorry, Houston." If Carlisle apologized one more time, I was going to have to ask him to pull the car over so I could get sick and not ruin the upholstry of his black Mercedes. The most expensive car I'd ever climbed into.

My stuff easily fit into the spacious trunk of Carlisle's car. I had lost the battle as soon as I saw him out on the sidewalk and accepted his ride back to Forks with only one condition. I didn't want Edward to know I was coming back. I wasn't really sure why I was asking for this. After all, no one in the Cullen family could keep a secret from the mind-reading, bronze-haired vampire that enhabited their home. It was impossible.

But yet Carlisle had promised. He knew Edward better than anyone and had learned a few tricks over the years. A few ways to keep Edward from knowing exactly what he was thinking, or what he'd seen. Then there was the subject of Alice. Alice had undoubtedly forseen Carlisle coming to get me, then later my agreeing to return home with him. I could only imagine how he was going to field that landmine.

But as we made the drive back to Forks, I didn't think about it much. Edward would see me at school. That was unavoidable if Margie got her way. And so far, she was. It would be easy to get me enrolled back in school now that my newly-reinstated foster mother had the town's most beloved doctor on her side. But the one thing I wouldn't budge on was going to be my return to my medical lifestyle. I could already tell that my disease was much too advanced. I'd spent too much time hiding in Sequim for the damage I'd caused to be repaired. I was giving up, letting my body self-destruct from the inside.

"Don't worry about it." I finally remembered Carlisle's almost silent apology when we reached the Forks city limits. "I was going to be coming back eventually. I just had no idea that my social worker would track you down at work. Of all places."

"He means well." Carlisle was taking up for this guy?! Seriously?

I blinked and looked at him stupidly as I tried to remember how to speak without sounding like a mouse. "No he doesn't. The guy creeps me out." I shivered in my seat, even though a low blast of heat had been pelting into my body since we left Sequim. "The way he looks at me..."

Carlisle looked over in time to see me cringe again and raised a blonde eyebrow ever so slightly. "What do you mean, the way he looks at you?"

"Nothing I'm not used to already." I muttered darkly, hoping that Edward's father in so many ways, would let the subject drop. Thankfully he did, and I found myself not needing to say anything until he'd smoothly parked in front of Margie's house. The car I'd borrowed for school and my doctor's appointments still sat in the drive, along with Margie's beaten down Mercury Sable. I unclicked my seatbelt and slowly fed it back into the device behind my head and looked over at Carlisle again before I stepped out of the car. "Do you promise that he won't know I'm back?"

"I promise." He agreed with a small nod of his head and another of his gentle smiles. "I already talked to Alice too. But I don't think you have much to worry about, Houston. I'm sorry to say this but...Edward has finally stopped asking about you. Asking his sister if she has seen anything new in your future."

How could she? The impending doom of my 'future' was still very much unchanged. Why did a person need to waste their time making sure of that? I just nodded then sighed and carefully laid my hand on the arm of his long-sleeved shirt. "Thank you, again. For talking some sense into me."

"You're quite welcome." He smiled at me again then tilted his head toward the house. I looked over and watched as Margie anxiously walked out onto the front porch. With a sigh, I left the comforting warmth of Carlisle's car, grabbed my stuff out of the trunk then walked up to meet her as the oldest Cullen drove home.

"Hey Margie." I muttered and lifted my arms slightly from my body. "I'm back."

"I'm so glad!" She breathed and quickly wrapped her arms around my neck. While the action threw me enough for me to momentarily lose my balance, I was grateful that she hadn't gone for my drastically shrinking waist. "I've missed you, Houston. And I've been worried sick." Here came the lecture.

She held off on that though until we were inside and I was once again unpacked in the room that hadn't been touched since I left it now four months before. I kept my jeans and flannel shirt on as I rejoined Margie in the living room. She was waiting for me on the couch, still in the pajamas and bathrobe she'd worn out on the porch to greet me. "What made you leave, honey?"

Oxygen escaped me in a low whoosh and I shrugged. It was the only thing I could think to do. "I didn't want to ruin your life, Margie. Derrick's not the first boyfriend to want me out of the way and...yeah, okay I was a little worried that you would've chosen him over me."

Pain etched her features in a more defined way than I'd ever seen before. My words had really stung her, cut deep. The last thing I'd ever intended to do. "Houston, I agreed to take you in and give you some semblence of a family life until you're eighteen. Of course now, I'm sure I'll worry about you even after that, but you're never going to come second to a man. The love of my life is gone." She smiled sadly at me and molded the palm of her hand into my hollowed-out cheek. "You look so thin, honey. Have you been to the doctor since you left?"

I stubbornly shook my head, but not enough that it caused Margie to pull away from me. I'd missed her warm moments of motherhood more than I would have ever guessed. "And I don't want to. Margie, I'm tired of fighting this. I just...I can't do it anymore, please don't make me."

I wasn't entirely sure if it was because of how close to tears I was, or the expression of pain on my own face that got her. Either way, she just sniffled and nodded before wrapped her arms around my neck and pulling me against her. "I can't fight this for you, Houston. I wish that I could, but because I can't? I promise, we'll do this your way from now on. Besides," She sighed and pushed me back to arm's length again so she could clearly look at me. "It's time you were able to make the choice for yourself. Even if my faith won't entirely let me agree with or like it."

Nodding, my smile was less forced as I hugged her again then carefully rose to my feet. "Thank you, Margie. I'm never gonna be able to tell you that enough."

She finally laughed for the first time since I'd been driven back up to the house. But before our reunion could continue, an obnoxious knock sounded at the door. That was one person, and one person only. "Aaron." I sighed and let my head fall back as I crossed the small living room to get the door. Pulling it open, I let him inside and kept walking. "The sick one is tired and doesn't feel like listening to the grown-ups talk about her like she's not in the room. Taking a nap instead!" And with a quick flick of my wrist in a sort of half-wave, I disappeared into my bedroom.

Habit forced me to throw the lock as I kicked my shoes off and exchanged my clothes for my pajamas. They fit a little more loosely on my body now, but they were still so comfortable that I hadn't been able to negotiate that part of my wardrobe. Curling under the blankets, I just sighed quietly and closed my eyes. I could hear Margie and Aaron discussing me out in the hall, and I smiled inwardly when I heard Aaron's defiance when he was told that I wouldn't be continuing with treatments anymore. Margie was right. This was my life, I was growing up and I had to start taking responsibility for my life. Even if that responsibility completely entailed the end of my life.

It was Wednesday when I finally returned to school. The jeans I had bought in Sequim were looking more worn than usual, given all the trips through the washer and dryer that it'd seen. But Margie had let me know that morning that we were going to change that. I needed a splurge, she'd called it. I needed to do something for myself and apparently, that meant spending my hard-earned money on clothes that would actually fit me. So I set off to school in my faded, ripped blue jeans and a loose-fitting tee shirt. At least those wouldn't need to be replaced! My tops would only need replacing if I'd _gained_ weight instead of lost it.

I didn't really pay attention as I walked to the front office to report to the secretary. Everything for re-enrollment had been handled by Carlisle, just as he'd told me he would. And I had no problems. My schedule was still the same as the listing I'd had before I abruptly left without warning. The teachers had agreed to give me a make-up test that would catch me back up, along with extra homework and tutoring sessions if I needed it. I was still excempt from Gym so that grade had already been taken care of. Thankfully.

The first set of classes passed in the same blur they'd had before I left. I even got used to the stares again by the time I walked into the crowded lunchroom. James, who was in one of my morning classes had kept his promise and waved me over when I went through the line to grab something small to eat. That was the one condition from Margie. If I got to quit treatment, I had to force myself to keep eating. I couldn't _willingly_ let myself waste away. As if there was any fun in that!

Sliding into an empty seat at the table I'd been hijacked to when I first arrived, I shied away from any questions that dealt with where I'd been for the past four months and why I was suddenly back. I tried to keep the answer as obvious as possible. I'd been placed with another foster family, but Margie had missed me so much that she petitioned for me to come back and live with her again. That seemed to placate them. All but one girl. The girl that hadn't liked me since day one, Ashley Valmont.

I still didn't even know _why_ she loathed me, but I was able to forget about it as everyone caught me up in the things that I'd missed. Even though I didn't care, I feigned interest as I force-fed myself a slice of pizza and a red apple. I only got through half of the food, and half of their stories when the bell rang and signaled next class. The class I had with Edward.

I wanted to groan aloud as I walked into the stuffy Physics room, but surpressed it as I made my way to the teacher's desk, instead of the seat that had been assigned to me before my disappearance. Mr. Varton looked happy enough to see me back, loaded me down with what I would need so that I could pass his class easily, then steered me back to my former seat. Complete with my former lab partner.

Edward was looking down at his notebook when I slowly approached. I kept my own movements quiet, even though I knew he could hear every single thing I did and every breath I took. "Looks like you have a lab partner again."

Edward's face was completely devoid of his human facade when he whipped his eyes up to look at me. Surprise melted into utter shock before it flashed into horror. No doubt, my appearance. I'd thought that I could hide it very well, but when it came to someone as painfully observant as Edward Cullen? Not possible. Easing into the chair, he continued to stare at me as I got comfortable and waited for class to start. Or the inquisition. Apparently the inquisition was coming first. "Where have you _been_?" He hissed, not even bothering to pretend that he wasn't angry. But at least the horror had faded from his face. Minus his eyes. His dark gold eyes were still as open as they had been.

"Sequim." I answered nonchalantly with a shrug of my shoulders and leaned my arms on the desk. Carefully since the bones in my elbows were more prominant now with my weightloss. "I'm sorry." I sighed and leaned over my arms, keeping my gaze locked sideways on him. "I know you meant well by...doing what you did. But I had to do that for myself, Edward. Haven't you ever wanted something so bad, and just...not cared what anyone thought? Couldn't let their thoughts or...their feelings into the equation?"

Every single line in his face screamed yes, but he just looked straight ahead a split second before Mr. Varton called the class to order. We weren't going to be able to talk about this anymore. I knew that, but curiosity was clawing at me like some savage, hungry beast. I couldn't help but wonder _what_ could have made Edward as understanding of my questions as he'd been in those fleeting seconds before class started.


	15. Chapter 15

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Fifteen:**

When Physics was over, my school day had ended. I didn't bother to act like I was in a hurry as I packed my bag up. But when I slid out of my chair and stood up, I was surprised to find Edward still sitting on his side of the desk. Of course, his eyes were trained on me and the carefully measured movements of my body. "What?" I blurted out suddenly and even tilted my head slightly in confusion when he just stayed still. "What's with the eyeful?" I joked, attempting humor as I shoved my weight onto one leg, my bony hip jutting out slightly from my body.

His eyes flashed to my hip and one glance down told me I'd made the wrong move. My shirt had ridden up and all that was visible against the faded waist of my jeans was the prominant outline of my hipbone. Cursing under my breath, I looked away and straightened up again. Edward finally moved though, standing up in front of me. I wasn't off the hook now. Not by a long-shot. "You were only gone four months." He hissed again, his breath washing over my face and dulling my senses like it'd had every single time before. Even in my dreams. But I hadn't even been able to capture that memory right. "You're as thin as a rail, Houston. What happened and do not waste your time trying to lie to me."

Frowning instantly, I just glared up at him and slung my bag over my shoulder. "Why do you care?" I shot back, my voice raising an octave and breaking on the last word. I winced and looked away before he could answer and quickly held up my hand. "On second thought?" I muttered and involuntarily looked back up at him. "I don't want to know. I just wasn't able to eat right in Sequim, okay? That's the only answer I can give you."

Edward didn't try to follow me as I left the classroom, curling my arms tightly around my midsection as I headed for the parking lot. But as I reached Margie's car, knowing she would be there because she had _insisted_ on that stupid shopping trip, I was shocked and surprised to find Alice Cullen standing right next to her. As I slowly approached, I could see the animated movements of their conversation. No doubt, Margie had gotten her onto the subject of shopping. Which would only end up spelling doom for me. I resisted the urge to groan as I finally reached them, plastering a smile on that became real when Alice squealed and threw her arms around my shoulders.

"I'm so glad you're home!" She sighed and danced away from me a little. Even though I could tell she was trying to hide it, confusion and concern flashed across her face for a brief second. "Margie was just telling me about your shopping trip. Think you would mind me tagging along? It's been a long time since I've had a good spree and I could really use one."

I instantly looked at her in skepticsm as she started to dance again in front of me, gracefully bouncing from one foot to another as her expression turned pleading. I was right in my thought about the Cullens getting whatever they wanted. I caved before I was clear on what was going on, waving at Margie as I sighed. "If she says it's cool."

"I don't mind." Traitor. Margie grinned easily at her then turned apologetically to me. "Actually, I got called in to work and...well, you know." She gave me a pointed look then reached out to take my school bag from me. "I'll drop this off at home so you don't have to make the side trip. You go have fun with Alice, okay? You have money, right?"

I opened my mouth to answer but Alice beat me to it. Her bell-like voice was vibrant as she grinned at my foster mother. "Completely taken care of and I promise I won't have her out too late. And oh!" She announced suddenly and smiled at Margie. "If you don't mind, maybe Houston can join us for dinner? I wouldn't mind helping her get through some of that homework I know they probably loaded her with."

Again, I wanted to groan inwardly. Margie was just as easily conquered as I was. My bag was passed back to me and I slung it over my shoulder once more as my foster mother turned her bright face onto me. "I don't mind that either. I don't know how long I'll be working but if it gets too late, just go ahead and stay there, okay?" She suggested, strongly, then glanced at Alice. "If that's okay with your parents, of course."

"They'll insist on it." Was there any way these two could _not_ agree with one another when it came to me?! Probably not. I was impossibly outnumbered now that I was back in Forks. "It was so nice to see you again, Margie. Don't work too hard!"

Laughter poured past Margie's lips as she nodded, hugged me one more time, then slid into the driver's seat of her car. Once she was pulling out of the parking lot, I sighed and faced Alice. "What about your last class?" I asked and gestured at the building to my right, her left.

Her shrug was very blase as she glanced at the school then looked at me again. "Nothing I haven't heard before." She grinned at me then turned and smoothly looped her arm through mine. "Now all we have to do is get Edward and we're on our way!"

"Wait!" I threw in and skit to a halt when she moved to lead me toward the Volvo. "You didn't say anything about Edward being apart of this excursion. No way."

"Houston." She whined and frowned at me. Even though she was looking at me in disgruntled fashion, she still looked heart-wrenchingly gorgeous. "We just need him to take us home. Drop the books off, get my car, then we can go."

"We could always take _my_ car." I suggested pathetically, suddenly very grateful for the 1995 Nissan Maxima that was still in my possession.

"I didn't know you had a car." She replied distractedly then shook her head and grinned at me again, blindingly. "But you're not driving. I am. And I promise, you won't have to spend more time with Edward than absolutely necessary."

If only I could've believed her!

Once Edward had been filled in, he adamantly refused to take us to the house, only to pick up another car. I wasn't sure if it was just to annoy me, or annoy Alice, but he ended up joining the shopping party. Alice didn't really have a car that was specifically _hers,_ and the car she usually borrowed was Carlisle's Mercedes. He needed that for work. So we were stuck with the Volvo. And Edward.

Alice chattered on smoothly as we drove to Port Angeles. She was in the front seat, me in the back, and even with the change of seats, I was still overcome with a strange bout of deja vue. I couldn't help but remember Edward driving me to Port Angeles, only to spring the knowledge of me already having an apartment and job waiting for me, as I stared moodily out my window. The pain was flaring mercilessly in my stomach, and no matter what I did, it would not go away. That was just going to make this shopping trip that much more unbareable.

"Houston?" My name reverberated through the car noisily and I jerked upright when it suddenly hit my ears. Looking away from the window, I raised an eyebrow slightly when I found Alice staring at me worriedly. "You're so quiet, you okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded and sighed as I resituated myself in the seat. I didn't remember resting my head on the window when the pain in my head decided to join the pain in my lower body. But obviously I wasn't hiding everything as easily as I had been before. The look on Alice's face confirmed that for me. "I was just letting you two talk." I muttered with another sigh and carefully folded my arms against my stomach, subtly shoving my clenched fist into the curve of my lower stomach. It sometimes helped with the pain, how I wasn't sure, but it was a method and I wasn't knocking those!

Impatience flittered across Alice's face before she became animated again. One glance toward the left of the car and I realized that Edward was doing his best not to outright stare at me in worry. His jaw stood out against his skin and the corner of his mouth, that I could see, was pressed so tightly together that it was actually curving into his face. Yeah, I wasn't fooling anyone. But luckily, Alice kept up her role as the distractor, turning in her seat so that she could look at me more clearly since I had shoved myself into the seat behind hers. "When was the last time you got to go shopping? And no lying either, I've probably seen your entire wardrobe."

My cheeks flamed in embarrassment and I shrugged, not daring to look at Edward for his reaction. "A couple of years, at least. I had a foster parent give me some stuff from a thrift store near our house. That's the last time I remember getting new clothes." Well, new to me. Alice looked at me in blatant horror and I wanted to fade into the upholstry behind me. Obviously she didn't like the fact that I'd never, ever splurged on myself. "My life's never really let me." I muttered out helplessly and looked out the window again. But instead of choosing the one to my immediate right, I looked across the car. As I cut my eyes, I saw Edward's expression change to sadness as he kept the car speeding at a dizzying rate. My insides just churned again and I fell silent as I listened to Alice go over her 'battle plan'. Complete with the verbal decision that I wasn't going to be spending any of my own money today.

Edward looked beyond bored. Why he had decided to come, I wasn't entirely sure. But there he was, in all of his perfection and impatience. I'd stopped looking at clothes for myself over an hour ago, but Alice was still going strong. All of her bags were at my feet as I waited outside a shop with Edward. My own bags were mixed in and I'd been powerless over every single purchase. It bugged Alice a little that I wouldn't change in front of her, and that I kept trading in the sizes she picked for sizes that I felt comfortable with. The entire world didn't need to see my disintegrating waistline.

"You're not having fun." Edward surmised, keeping his eyes on the door in front of him with his hands folded into his lap casually.

I just shrugged and shifted in my seat, leaning over my legs with my arms resting on my thighs. "I've never been much of a shopper." I admitted and it wasn't entirely a lie. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. It made me feel even more uncomfortable to have the Cullens' credit card available to me as well as Alice and Edward. He'd even been picked up a few new things. All Alice's doing. "You didn't have to do this, you know." I added in after a couple of seconds and turned my head to look at him clearly.

He finally looked at me then, no apology written anywhere on his face. "You deserved something good. It's not fair for us to have so much when there's others out there that don't."

My nose wrinkled instantly and I looked away quickly before he could see the tears unwillingly beginning to prick at the back of my eyes. I felt like a charity case. Wait, I'd been that from the moment I stepped into Edward's car. "I have what I need."

"No you don't." He sighed and when I looked at him again, his eyes didn't stray from my face. He held my gaze evenly as he shifted on the wooden bench and leaned toward me in tensed determination. "You don't have half of what you need, Houston. You may have the basics, but you deserve better than that. Especially after everything you've been through."

"You don't know half of what I've been through." The words passed my lips before I could swallow them back then frowned and let my chin fall toward my shoulder slightly. "I still don't get you, Edward. What is it about me that makes you and Alice want to hang out with me? I'm nothing special, okay? I'm sure as hell undeserving of the generosity you've been putting on me. Why do you insist on trying to change things for me?"

"Because I'm tired of seeing you unhappy." He announced quietly yet firmly as he continued to hold my vision hostage. Even if I did look away right then? The expression on his face would still float in my mind's eyes. His dark gold eyes burning in determination, his lips and jaw set firmly with that same conviction that he spoke with. "And maybe," He allowed and his expression softened. Even in his eyes. "Maybe it makes _me_ happy to do things like this for you. It obviously makes Alice happy."

Just as if he'd called her out of the store, she danced gracefully into view and cleared her throat obnoxiously as she set another bag down in front of me. "For you." She chirped and beamed at me, her face silently daring me to protest.

Sighing, I just caved yet again and picked the bag, along with my four others, up and stood. "As much as I'm loving this," I started, internally cringing when my voice cracked on _loving_, I sighed and looked at Alice with a fatigued expression on my face. "I'm starting to get tired and I still have a mound of homework waiting for me. Can we call it a day yet?"

Edward stood and I was surprised to find Alice cave as he led the way back to the car. She was still cheerful and upbeat as we manuevered through the much-more crowded parking garage. I stayed silent as our bags were loaded into the trunk and turned to escape into the backseat once the locks were lifted off the doors. But I was surprised yet again when Alice deftly pushed me to the front passenger door and slid into the back before I could protest. I glanced over at Edward and instantly knew something was up as I slid dutifully into the seat. Alice knew something I didn't and Edward obviously did too. Suddenly I hated being a limited human as we pulled out of the dark garage and headed back for Forks.


	16. Chapter 16

_I hope everyone's enjoying what I've written so far! Thanks so much for reading it, I know these chapters are long as hell. Anyway, this story has been completed, so expect lots of chapters to be uploaded just as quickly as I can get them up._

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Sixteen:**

Even though I kept my eyes on the glass wall in front of me, my vision was unfocused and blurry. It was well after two in the morning, by the time I'd stopped studying, it had been too late for me to go home. Which meant staying with the Cullens for the night. I had been surprised when Edward insisted on me staying in his room. Even with the distance that had settled between us during the day, he still seemed to want me as close as possible. I just hadn't decided yet if it was because he actually _did _want me around, or if he just wanted to keep an eye on me.

Either way, the nagging little voice in the back of my mind had been subdued. But that didn't bring sleep to me any quicker. Even after I'd changed into makeshift pajamas, which consisted of one of Edward's button down, white shirts, and shorts from Alice's closet, I still couldn't shake the small fear that was curling in the pit of my stomach. The emotion that made sleep virtually impossible for me. Of course, it didn't help that I was in Edward's room alone.

An impromptu hunting trip had been planned and I didn't even think twice in trying to keep Edward in the house. His eyes were getting darker and I knew pretty soon that it would be even more difficult for him to be around me. So because of that, I'd said nothing when his family ganged up on him and included him in the party that was made up of the Cullen men. The girls were staying behind and my assumptions made me a little aware that they were only staying behind because of my presence in the house.

Heaving a sigh, I turned away from the window but stopped cold when I realized I was no longer alone in Edward's room. The moonlight streaming into the vast expasion of glass clearly outlined Esme's outline and the look on her face was extremely hesitant. I hadn't spent much time alone with Edward's mother since their secret had been exposed to me, but I was trying not to let it bother me. After all, the family had different ways of coping with me now knowing their deepest of secrets and I hadn't exactly been making things easy by constantly keeping Edward at a distance.

But all of that seemed trivial as Esme floated into the room, warm concern replacing the hesitation that had been in her features just moments before. "I didn't mean to startle you, Houston."

"You didn't." I replied with a stronger voice and shook my head as I smiled uncertainly at her. "I just wasn't...expecting to see you there, that's all."

The smile grew on her features before she turned and gestured at the couch that was becoming more of a bed to me than my own was. It was strange that I felt more comfortable on the black leather of Edward's couch, than the soft mattress that made up my bed at Margie's. Then again, it probably had something to do with where the couch was located and whose room it had been placed in. But the more time I spent in the Cullens' home, the more comfortable I grew with roaming outside of Edward's large room. I obeyed her silent request and folded my legs underneath me as I sat on the couch. Esme didn't bother with pretenses as she joined me and sat down right beside me. She sat closer to me than her son had in a long time and that was the next thing to surprise me since I'd found her in the doorway. "I've been meaning to talk to you, but with everything that's been going on for you, I thought it would be best if I just left you alone and let you settle back in."

"You didn't have to." I admitted at once. I hated the thought of Esme keeping her distance from me because she thought that was something _I_ wanted. I never wanted any of the Cullens to keep their distance from me. I just couldn't be selfish enough to actually act on that desire and follow through. My impending future had me frozen in my proverbial tracks. "I mean, I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to keep your distance from me."

She smiled gently at me and I could see the hesitation straining her muscles when she reached over and laid her hand on mine. I instantly loosened my grip on my fingers underneath her touch and gave her a tentative, almost shy smile in response. "I was hoping you'd say that. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you're here. I don't want to sound like an overbaring mother..." Esme trailed off instinctively, smiling wanly at her choice of words. But I didn't seem the least bit phased. In my eyes, she was Edward's mother. And she was becoming a motherly figure to me. Or at least, she would become that if I'd just give in and let her. I so badly wanted Edward's family to be _my_ family, but two things kept me from actively hoping for that. The first one was that I had no idea what Edward thought of me, if he wanted me to have any kind of real baring in his family dynamic. I didn't know where we stood and suddenly, that unsettled and irritated me a little. The second thing holding me back was I didn't know what his family thought of me. With the exception of Rosalie, Alice, and now Esme; I didn't know what the others thought when they saw me with Edward. I hoped it was nothing bad, but I knew that Rosalie thought it was. I still had no idea why she hated me so much but if that was the small price I had to pay in order for everything to work out the way I was silently, feverishly hoping; I would pay it in a heartbeat and hope for the day when I could look at Edward's painfully beautiful sister and have her smile at me like a sister.

It was a foolish thought, one that didn't get too much further when Esme's quiet voice pulled me from my own thoughts. "Edward cares for you a great deal, Houston. I don't know if you see that, but I do hope there's some sort of return on your side." She didn't want me to hurt her son. That was blatantly clear as I listened to her talk. But I knew there was no real way I _could_ hurt him. Unintentionally was a completely different matter. My secret could pull everything apart at the seams and that was the one reason why I'd been fighting as hard as I had been. "Houston," Again, her voice snapped my thoughts and I looked at her quickly, a little surprised by the gently concerned expression her lovely face took on. "I hope I'm not overstepping boundaries but it seems like you _do_ care for him. But you won't let yourself. Can I ask why? What's keeping you so guarded from my son?"

I swallowed thickly and tilted my face from hers instinctively. Tears were beginning to prick the back of my eyes and the last thing I wanted was to start crying. All because Esme was deciding to start a conversation with me for the very first time since I'd come into Edward's life. I sighed quietly and looked down at her pale hand covering mine. The differences in our skin tones wasn't that contrasting and my heart lurched with the realization. Minus the shadows under their eyes, the inhuman beauty, and their eye color; I could've easily passed as a Cullen. But my looks weren't even on the same playing field as theirs. I was wasting away and the absent color from my skin had nothing to do with what had turned their skin to a smooth, marble alabaster. "Because there's something I can't tell him." I replied quietly, almost whispering as I continued to stare at our hands. "There's something I can't tell anyone." I went on and forced myself to look up at her again. "I want to, I really do, Esme. And I do care about Edward. I care more about him than I probably should. I care about him so much that I feel guilty."

"Why?" The one-syllable question passed her lips in a quiet whoosh and her breath swirled against my face. She smelled just like Edward, only his scent was slightly more intoxicating. But they both had the ability to make me lose my train of thought for a few, fleeting moments.

I struggled to regain control of myself and shrugged slowly, using the slowness of my movements buy me a few extra seconds. "Look at me, Esme. I'm painfully ordinary and...if I'm being honest with myself? I feel like I don't fit into his life. Like, I'm not deserving of a man like your son. I keep him at a distance because I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt him. It's a very real possibility that he could hurt me before I ever even thought of having the chance to but...I dunno." I shrugged again, this time helplessly and looked up into her warm, liquid gold eyes. "I've been hurt so much in the past and I've lost a lot of people that I have either cared about or could really start to care about. I don't want to add Edward, or your family to that list. So my instincts kick in and my mind tells me that if I just keep my distance? It won't hurt so much when everything works out the way my cynical side has already mapped out in another part of my mind." I responded, wrinkling my nose slightly when I went over everything I'd just said in my mind. "I sound crazy...don't I?" I mumbled pathetically.

Esme's laughter was just as alluring as Edward's was, only in a different way. I found myself suddenly searching for more ways to entice the sound from her. As well as her son, but that was added in silently. I was suddenly very grateful that Esme's gift in this life was to love compassionately. If she'd had Edward's gift, and it actually worked on me, I would've been doomed right then. Actually, I would've been doomed long ago. "You don't sound crazy, Houston." She grinned and patted my hand then released my hands from her cool, comforting touch. "You sound like a very normal young woman that's carrying a lot of painful memories around. But honey, we all have them." She added a sweep of her hand around the vast room, and presumably the house, to her words in hopes of emphasising her point. I knew that she was right, just because of how Edward had explained his and his family's transformations into this life. None of them'd had a choice in the matter, not even Carlisle. But he hadn't been on the brink of death when he was changed. He'd just been attacked and left to suffer through an agonizing transformation. A transformation that I'd learned more about when Carlisle drove me back to Forks from Sequim.

I nodded and looked down at my own hands as my mind worked frantically to try and think of something else to say to Esme. Edward's generous mother that was just as beautiful inside as she was on the outside. But before I could, I looked up to see Esme stand as a new shadow clouded Edward's bedroom door. It was Edward himself, back from hunting. I stayed silent on the couch as she rose and greeted her son wordlessly before sweeping from the room gracefully.

"I was wondering when she would do that." His enticing voice was quiet and reserved as he walked into the room. I glanced down at the blanket in my lap and started to mess with the perfect hem and stitching. But when movement caught my eye, I looked up to see Edward changing out of his clothes.

"I...I can leave if you need privacy." I blurted out stupidly, only wincing when I heard his quiet laugh.

"You're perfectly fine where you are." Edward grinned at me over his shoulder as he tossed his dirty shirt aside then reached into his closet to retrieve another shirt to put on. As he moved, I suddenly became mesmerized by the marble skin now rippling over his muscles as he extended his arm. I'd never seen him shirtless until now and as he turned to face me, his eyes on the garmet in his hand, I finally saw his chest and stomach for the first time. If it was possible, he was even more gorgeous than I could've ever thought possible. His pale skin was stretched taut against the planes and contours of his chest, smoothing dramatically over the muscles in his stomach then disappearing underneath the waistband of the jeans he still wore. Jeans that were just baggy enough to hide the shape of his legs, but tight enough to give him the air of sophistication that clung to every single member of his family. Edward Cullen knew how to dress, I could say that much for him.

Of course, he caught me staring and my cheeks burned as blood flooded up my neck and throughout my face. I looked away quickly, so quickly that hair sprayed over my shoulder, which was slightly exposed due to the shift of fabric that covered my upper body. The first three buttons had been purposely left undone so the collar wouldn't choke me in my sleep. But instead of the buttons resting right above the swell of my breasts, like they had when I stood in front of the window, they were now near my collarbone, pushing the collar and open sides back enough to completely uncover my throat and the curve of my shoulders. "Sorry." I muttered and kept my eyes on my covered lap as I reached up and straightened out my own shirt. I could feel Edward's eyes on me as I moved, and he was in front of me again before I could even hear him move against the plush, dark gold carpet.

His fingers curved slightly as they moved under my chin to bring my face up to his. He was still shirtless, holding the solid black tee shirt he'd planned to change into in his free hand. I swallowed thickly and before I was even aware of everything, I was on my feet. The blanket slid off the couch as I stood but I made no move to lean over and set it back on the leather. Edward had my undivided attention, his gold eyes darkening in the dim light and scorching into my dull green eyes mercilessly. "You don't need to apologize." His angelic voice filled my ears and caused my eyes to flutter closed as I unconsciously took in every single sound and tone his voice had just made. Listening to him speak was like listening to my favorite song over and over. There was no need for a repeat button with him around.

Struggling against his hold on me, I forced my eyes opened and instantly regret it when the power of his eyes hit me full-force. Right then, I truly believed just how seductive he could be if he let himself. He could get anything he wanted from me and it wouldn't take any effort from me at all. Already, my knees felt like they were turning to Jello as he stepped closer to me. I could feel the ice cold scent of his body flowing off him in waves, contrasting with my flushed skin just enough to make me shiver noticably.

"Are you all right?" Edward didn't speak much higher than a whisper, but in my heightened state of awareness of his close proximity, I heard every single word as if he'd been talking in a normal tone.

"No." I blurted out without thinking, but continued to stare helplessly into his eyes.

"What's wrong?" The intensity in his eyes lifted ever so slightly, seeming to make room for the confusion that my answer had created.

"You're getting to me." I practically breathed the words as my own eyes fell from his to his lips. His perfect lips. A mouth I'd been dreaming of so much that I now had to fight the powerful urge to reach up and trace their outline with my fingertips. That urge was only second in power to the craving I suddenly felt to lean up and press my own lips to his. To see what it would feel like to let go enough to experience an actual, real kiss. But I stayed where I was, my spine tensing with determination as I lifted my eyes back up to meet his.

The confusion was gone now and if it were possible, his eyes were even more lethal than before. I couldn't resist or even think about pulling away when he leaned toward me, unconsciously angling my face up as if he were about to act on the urge I was still trying to fight. He didn't do that though, and I felt my stomach drop when his breath washed over my cheeks, nose, and lips. "Why is that a bad thing?"

Even though I could hear the guarded concern in his voice, I could tell that he was probably thinking the same thing. It was wrong for us to be standing this way, for me to feel so powerless against him. And vulnerable. He could very easily kill me if that was what he wanted, let the monster that lurked behind the mask of the man win and drain my blood from my body. I wouldn't be able to fight him off and another strange drop in my stomach confirmed that I wouldn't. I wouldn't raise a hand to fight him if he chose to take my life right then. As I continued to stare at him, my breathing became more labored as my head started to swim, making it difficult for me to remember what we were talking about. I momentarily forgot his question as I let myself get lost in the golden pools that made up his eyes. Eyes I'd also dreamed of.

Suddenly, I could hear a warning voice in my head. It was my own voice, my conscious suddenly screaming and crying loud and clear for me to stop and remember what I'd been trying to do all along. I had to keep some sembence of distance between us so that when I was forced to leave him, it wouldn't hurt him. So I fought for control of my body, closing my eyes as I reached up and gently pulled his hand from under my chin. The contrast of his cold grip and my warm hand felt electric as I stepped back and eventually let his hand go too. I paused long enough to take a deep breath and held it until my head was swimming again and my lungs were burning for air. That was when I looked up at him again and found the scorching power in his bright eyes had faded completely. "Because it'll just hurt that much more when you decide that you're just wasting your time with me."


	17. Chapter 17

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Seventeen:**

Everytime I tried to sit up, the room spun violently around me. It had been a week since the shopping spree with Alice and I'd only seen the Cullens at school. But just three days before, I'd been forced to stop going. I couldn't hold anything down and I was getting weaker as a result. I was also running a high fever that caused me to sweat so much that my clothes became damp with my sweat just ten minutes after putting them on. Cold baths and compresses were no longer working and I knew that something was devestatingly wrong. I'd been ignoring my body too much to be fully aware of the reaching consequences. The consequences that were a direct result of me ignoring my doctor's wishes and stopping treatment.

Margie was now so worried that she kept threatening to call Aaron. She hated being around the man even more than I did, but she hoped he would be able to talk some sense into me. I was deteriorating and I wasn't doing a single thing to stop it. When she had left that morning, not being able to call in sick like she had for the last three days, she'd threatened to call Aaron before leaving. I'd finally had enough of the threat and replied with one of my own. She could always admit me into the hospital then just walk away. I'd even been ruthless enough to add in that she wouldn't be the first to travel that route.

I could still remember the look on her face when she stumbled out of my room and dashed off to work. Of course, I felt horrible about it and was already trying to think of some way to make amends. The pain was growing more prominant in my body and was forcing me to lash out. It was just unfortunate that Margie was bearing the brunt of my agony. This was the one thing I hadn't wanted for her. Or Edward.

I hadn't seen him since I'd suddenly fallen ill and I found myself staring out the window as my thoughts ran wild. Dreaming up all sorts of possibilities as to why he was now deciding to keep his distance. We hadn't talked much since that night in his room, but I knew it had changed things. We'd been so close that night, the barriers between us both crumbling almost effortlessly before I forced my own back up. They weren't as strong as before and I knew it was just a matter of time before he broke through and left me with no hope of keeping him at arm's length.

Just as I turned onto my back, moaning weakly in pain as I did so, my head snapped painfully to the side when I heard something right outside my window. In an attempt to cool me off, Margie had left it open and my pulse quickened when a shadow suddenly appeared against the windowsill. But before I could build up a good scream, Edward's painfully gorgeous face appeared. It took some effort for me to sit up as he climbed through my window gracefully and easily regained his balance with a smile on his face. But as soon as he looked at me, really _looked_ and saw the sweat coating my body and the sporatic rising and falling of my chest under the thin cotton tank top Margie had dressed me in, the smile vanished.

In the blink of an eye, he was leaning over me, his hands gently pushing me back onto the bed. I sighed contently when his cold hands met my feverish skin. His touch was better than any cold compress or shower that I'd marched through over the past three days. Confusion tightened his features as he perched next to me on the mattress and gently molded one hand over my forehead. I couldn't swallow that sigh of contentment either.

"Houston, you're burning up. How long have you been sick?"

"Three days." I breathed then winced when my lower body suddenly contracted. I moved onto my side without any real thought behind the motions and pulled my legs toward my chest. I was willing to bet that Edward could easily feel the bones in my knees and thighs when my legs met the small of his back, instead of their intended target. "That's why I haven't been in school."

"I should've come over sooner." His angel's tone was rough with what I could only assume was guilt. I fought back the whimper forming in my chest when he didn't move so I could curl up. It would take too much effort to turn onto my other side just so I could give my aching body what it wanted. "I would have if I'd known you were sick."

"I'll be fine." I muttered, automatic reaction then finally gave in to the urge to roll over. I was on my other side in seconds, practically dragging my legs to my chest as I moaned again in pain. "It'll pass." I gasped and clenched my eyes shut as my forehead met my knees. If I got out of this without my secret being exposed, it was going to be a miracle.

Unconsciousness started to tug at me as Edward got up and leaned over me, his cold hands sweeping over my exposed cheek then stopped at my throat. No doubt, he could feel my frenzied pulse under his hand, as well as the heat my fever was coating my slick skin in. I wanted to kick the covers off my legs and gave in. I reached out blindly to push the blankets away as my legs barely moved under the fabric. I was too tangled in them to escape alone. I couldn't kick the covers back and evade consciousness at the same time. I didn't have enough strength. "The blanket..." I whimpered again when I finally got my thumb hooked around a piece of the fabric, only to move it about a quarter of an inch down my red-hot skin.

I could feel Edward catching on as he yanked the blankets off me and cold air hit my bare legs. I shivered involuntarily and forced my eyes open when I heard a sharp gasp escape his lips. "What...?" I had barely lifted my head off the pillow underneath me when I was suddenly moving. It bugged me that I couldn't see Edward's face as he lifted me off the bed and into his arms. The tank top and pair of boyshorts that Margie'd helped me into were already damp, but they seemed to be providing a good current for cold air. Or maybe it was Edward's arms. One locked around my upper body, the other around the back of my thighs.

"You're bleeding, Houston." Edward's voice struck me suddenly and one glance at the bed, with the blankets thrown back to the foot of the bed, confirmed what he'd just said. There was a sizable, dark red spot where I'd just been laying and my stomach lurched violently as a result. "And if you try to fight me on what I'm about to do, I promise you'll lose." He vowed as he walked through my house his dizzying speed. But instead of fighting him, my head fell back and my body went limp in his arms when unconsciousness finally won me over.

I was floating. I could hear voices but they sounded so far away that it was getting on my nerves. Everything sounded and felt so far away that all I could do was just frown in frustration. Eventually I started to try pushing myself toward the sound. I could hear the voices a little more clearly now, but everything was still much too far away for my liking. It was almost as if someone was holding my head under water and talking above the surface. Kicking and screaming were out since my body felt weightless and I couldn't find the limbs I would need anyway.

But suddenly, something broke through the surface. A warm hand came to rest on what felt like my cheek and the voices came into sharp focus. Now if I could just will my eyes open, I wouldn't feel so annoyed.

"It's getting worse, Mrs. Banks." I recognized that voice. Or at least it _sounded_ like Dr. Copeland.

"Define worse." That was a voice I could pick out of a lineup. Margie's desperate voice broke through the fog surrounding me like a knife through butter. But I still couldn't get my eyes open. Sighing in frustration, the voice I recognized as Margie's came closer. Apparently, I'd actually been able to do that bodily. "Houston? Can you hear me, honey?"

I sighed again and managed to kick one leg feebily underneath the heavy blanket that suddenly felt like it was weighing me down. That was when I succeeded in getting my eyes open. The overhead light stung when my eyelids parted just enough for me to squint up at Margie. "Light..." I sighed and closed my eyes again. Why did I feel so tired, all of a sudden? And the pain in my belly was much worse than it'd been before. What had I _missed_?!

The light disappeared instantly and I chanced opening my eyes again. I was able to focus on Margie this time and looked up at her in confusion. "What...happened?"

"You had emergency surgery, honey." She told me and I flinched when I heard the deep apology in her tone. She knew how I felt about surgeries and probably felt guilty for consenting when she knew I didn't want that. "There was no time to wait, I'm so sorry."

"Why?" I managed that word out a little easier as things came into sharper focus. I was now aware of my body and how close Dr. Copeland was now standing next to my bed. "Why...surgery?"

"You had three cysts rupture." Dr. Copeland answered before Margie could, the look on her face contrite and as apologetic as Margie'd sounded when she told me why I felt so funky. "That's what caused the bleeding, you also have a particularly nasty infection that we're having to treat with antibiotics. Houston, I wish you would've kept with the treatments."

I grimaced at that but before I could respond to the new information, a sudden though crashed into me violently. "Edward!" I gasped and jerked upright. I didn't get very far and collapsed back on the bed a split second later, nearly gasping when I realized the oxygen tube that was strapped underneath my nose.

"He went home." Margie whispered, now near my ear. My eyes stayed clenched shut and I swallowed back the urge to rip the tube from my nose. My throat suddenly burned and I was dimly reminded of what it felt like the last time I'd gone in for surgery. They'd had to intubate me. Great.

"Does he know?" I quickly opened my eyes and looked fearfully up at Margie. "Does he know why I'm here and what's going on?"

"No." She sighed and the expression on her face tore at my heart. "But we aren't going to be able to keep this from him much longer."

"It's progressed." Dr. Copeland explained again and I forced my head to turn just enough so that I was looking at her instead of my foster mother.

"What do you mean, progressed?" I growled, my throat flaring angrily against my use of speech. "How bad am I now?"

"It's spread into your kidneys and intestines. It won't be much longer before it spreads even futher through your body."


	18. Chapter 18

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Eighteen:**

Forty-eight hours. That was how long it took for everything to change. One minute, everything looked perfectly normal. I knew what to expect, I knew what was going to be asked of me. Then almost as if acting on a snap decision, everything around me was completely turned upside down. But instead of feeling hopeful, of having that small glimmer of light at the end of the proverbial tunnel? The tunnel was just darker than it'd ever been before.

Forty-eight hours after my emergency surgery, I had to be rushed right back into the OR. The source of my infection had finally been found and when antibiotics didn't even put a dent in my outragious symptoms, more emergency action had been taken. A complete hysterectomy. My childless future was even more concrete now than it had been just one or two years before. Thankfully, I was out of recovery now and in a private room. That had been Margie's request and I could only assume the lengths she'd gone to in order to secure that one. A mental note had already been made to thank Carlisle for his hand in my room assigment. After all, it was no real secret how much I detested, and was a little scared of hospitals and having to share a room just pushed that up several notches.

My body still felt fuzzy in certain places, but that was just the painkillers that were now being inserted in the tube that was protruding from the inside of my left wrist. My right wrist had a stopper-looking contraption embedded in my sallow skin. That was where they'd been taking blood for all of my tests. Sheer impulse had made me request the lid of the stopper be taped down with medical tape. Of course, I had no idea if Edward was going to show up or just maintain distance between us. That seemed to be the pace of...whatever we could call what we were doing. One minute, I was opening up to him and vice versa. The next moment? Everything screeched to a halt and I was starting to get tired of it. I couldn't hide from him anymore, he was going to learn my secret sooner or later and I wanted him to hear it from me. No one else. _I_ wanted to be the one to tell him that I was dying.

I vaguely heard movement outside my room. My eyes were closed and the iPod that Alice had surprised me with was in my hands. It was scary how well she knew my musical tastes but I had a feeling Edward had helped out a little and put in some of his favorites. There were just certain songs that screamed with his personality. But when noticed something shift out the corner of my eye, I looked up in panic when I found Carlisle standing near my closed door. It wasn't the Cullen I'd been expecting, that much was for certain.

"How're you feeling?" His voice was gentle as he approached the bed, waiting to speak until I'd stopped the small silver device in my hands and set it aside. Along with the tiny, white earbud speakers that went along with it.

"Like I just got hit with a Mack truck." I sighed, my voice still gravely from having to be intubated twice now. Apparently giving me anestetic was a bad idea since it caused a severe drop in my heartrate. Either that, or it was all the blood that'd been pouring from my body during the surgeries. "Not that I'm assuming or anything, but...thank you." I sighed again and looked up at him with a small, sheepishly grateful smile on my face. "Margie's never been able to get me a private room by herself before."

If it were possible, Carlisle looked even more handsome when he smiled. And even more ageless. Of course, I could say the same for his glorious, bronze haired son, but I kept that to myself for the time being. "You're welcome." He inclined his head slightly and sat down in the chair beside my bed. I could tell it was just a formal reaction, much like Edward had moved the first time I spent the whole night in his room. Silence lingered in the air for a few moments and I was helpless to put a stop to it. My brain still felt just as fuzzy as my body did and I couldn't think of a single thing I wanted to say. Or ask.

But Carlisle seemed to be two steps ahead of me, his gentle smile fixing into place as he reclined in the stiff chair to my left. "Did Edward ever tell you that you have the same eye color?"

Random! That was the only word that flashed through my mind as I stared at him, my fingers carefully lifting then coming to rest right underneath the shadow underneath my eye. "I...what?"

"I'm sorry." Carlisle chuckled and shook his head at himself then straightened up ever so slightly. A nurse came in right then, to check my vitals and the bandaging that was stretched across my abdomen. Once I'd appeased her with not needing anything, she flashed Carlisle an uncertain smile then swept from the room. I couldn't help the eyeroll that my expression engaged in then laid my head back on the pillow behind me as I refocused on Edward's inhumanly gorgeous father. "When Edward..." Clearing his throat, he tilted his head ever so slightly and gestured at his chest. It only took me a second to catch on, knowing that he couldn't speak freely since I was still in the hospital and nurses had tendencies to walk in at the most unforgiving of times.

"You mean...his eyes were green?" I whispered, unable to figure out where exactly all of this was going.

"They were." He smiled and nodded, his face soon smoothing as, what I could only guess were memories of Edward's changing, flooded through his mind. "They were fiercely bright, like emeralds. His mother, Elizabeth had the same green eyes as her son. As you."

"Mine lost their brightness a long time ago." I muttered in spite of myself and looked down as my fingers began to twist the blanket that had been pushed up around my stomach.

"I don't think so." Carlisle's musing stopped my thoughts before they could travel any further into darker territories and I looked over at him again with my undivided attention. A wise, almost knowing look transformed his features now as he leaned forward and rested his musclar forearms on the knees of his khakis. "They become the brightest when you're looking at Edward."

I could literally feel my heart stuttering in my chest as my mind absorbed Carlisle's words. Was I really that transparent?! Was I really obvious to how I secretly felt about Edward? Swallowing thickly, my eyes fell to my lap again as my lungs fought to bring oxygen back into them. I wasn't really sure why Carlisle's observation was hitting me as hard as it was, but suddenly the only thing I could think about doing was seeing Edward. I was even more resolved now to tell him the entire truth. "I...really wish I knew what to say right now."

Carlisle's smile was still gentle as he continued to gaze at me with him penetrating gold eyes. "You don't need to say anything, Houston. I'm just too painfully observant sometimes. I see how he looks at you and how you look at him. And I hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries here but I can't help wondering why you two aren't closer."

Air once again felt lodged in my throat as the conversation seemed to take a possibly dangerous turn. I wasn't entirely sure of Carlisle's motives and my entire past had taught me to be wary in situations like this. Sighing softly, almost mutely, I just shrugged slowly and forced my body to remain relaxed against the curved mattress beneath me. "I don't know how." I muttered helplessly, not allowing myself to look away from him. If I did that, then the guilt washing over me felt like it would become even worse. Carlisle's expression changed then, from gentle to curious as I forced myself to go on. "I never learned how to let someone get close to me. Especially someone like Edward who seems to want to take care of me. I don't know how to handle that and...well, I don't want to weigh him down."

The confusion grew on his face as he grew still in his chair. "Why would you think that you're weighing him down?"

My mind just refused to acknowledge that this was actually happening. I'd never, in my wildest of dreams, thought that I'd be having this kind of conversation with the father of the one boy I wanted to see a future with. I blew out a low breath and forced myself to stay in the thick of the conversation. "Because I'm going to die." I announced quietly, yet in a strangely calm tone. "He's not. How can I ask someone to go through that? But this is all assuming that he feels the way about me that I do him."

I stayed perfectly still as I curled my arms against my chest. My fever had finally been broken and as a result, I was now allowed to leave my hospital room. But I'd been resigned to a wheelchair. There were still too many stitches in my stomach for me to move without risking those stitches popping open and with my recent slew of visitors, I was trying my best to be as careful as possible.

Once Carlisle had left my hospital room so he could get back to work down in the ER, Alice and Esme had taken his place beside my bed. The guest that surprised me the most was Rosalie. Edward's painfully beautiful sister that I feared absolutely loathed me. But that wasn't really the case anymore. She'd finally decided to tell me why she spent so much time glaring at me like I was some sort of plague. She'd actually been _jealous_ of me. Jealous of my humanity and the possibilities of a limitless future. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my future was just as limited, if not moreso, than hers.

But whatever the case, we seemed to have some sort of understanding now. Edward hadn't been kidding when he told me that Rosalie had a flare for keeping tabs on her own physical appearance. She'd been that way in her first life too, and it had actually been her beauty that eventually led to her downfall. My heart broke into a million, tiny pieces when she finally explained that her fiance had savagely turned on her, along with a few of his friends, and left her for dead. If Carlisle hadn't changed her, she would've died. His record was still in tact, I'd known that long before Rosalie ever told me her horrifying story.

But now I was alone, for the first time in over fourteen hours. I'd started out in a random direction, not really caring where I went just as long as it was as far away from my room as possible. My return to my room was also involuntary, my destination halted when I saw more of the floor I'd been placed on. The maternity ward.

It was logical that I was placed here. After all, all of my problems stemmed from the battle now raging in a different part of my body. But as I looked at the new mothers, and the women that were still waiting for that miracle of life, I felt even more isolated and alone than I ever had before. My wheelchair slid to a stop in front of the large nursery windows and became completely absorbed in the actions of nurses tending to newborn babies. I could easily feel tears in my eyes and a soft smile on my face as I watched the nurse in front of me rock slowly back and forth in a white rocking chair. I couldn't see the baby's face but the thing that drew me in the most was the pink, knit blanket that kept her tiny arms and feet warm from the overhead air conditioning.

Suddenly, a quiet noise hit my ears and I whipped my head around anxiously to find the source. My heart dropped into my stomach when I saw Edward standing about a yard away from me, looking like he'd just stepped off the elevator at the end of the hall. But the thing that had made my heart drop was the look on his glorious face. He was clearly torn about something but for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything he had to be torn between. I blew out a low breath and forgot all about the baby I'd just been watching and wheeled around slowly to face him. It took a lot of effort to move the chair the way I wanted, but all I seemed to have was time. At least, while I was still in the hospital anyway. "Hi."

"Hi." His voice was velvety smooth as he came to stand in front of me, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his dark jeans. I could tell what the weather was like outside just by the way he was dressed, his light, green button down shirt sleeves were rolled to his elbows. It honestly took everything I had to keep from staring at the muscles standing out prominantly against his alabaster skin. "Are you supposed to be out of bed?"

My expression instantly slumped into a guilty look, making me feel very much like a child being scolded for doing something they weren't supposed to. "Sorta." I muttered and shrugged one shoulder very carefully before I sat up enough to start moving my chair back toward my room.

Edward caught on way too quickly to what I was doing, I'd just gotten two good pushes against the tires in when he suddenly appeared behind me. The force in his arms was gentle as he wheeled me back to my room, politely smiling at the nurses as we passed. I could only stare bashfully into my lap. All of a sudden, it felt like I was seeing Edward for the very first time. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on but I had a feeling it was due to the new-found sense of freedom I suddenly felt. I was going to be coming clean with him and the weight that'd been pressing against my chest for so long was no longer there.

I didn't say anything when he stopped beside my bed, and just focused on moving carefully as I slid to the edge of the chair in an attempt to stand. Too bad the chair decided to wheel backward at that exact moment. I couldn't brace myself for the fall, knowing that it was going to hurt with the bellyful of stitches; but a stone arm instantly coiled around my upper body, air leaving my lungs in a noticable _whoosh_ as I was lifted up then onto the bed in one swift motion. It wasn't until Edward had come back after disposing of my wheelchair that I was finally able to speak, my eyes still wide as I watched him slide gracefully into the chair that hadn't moved from the left side of my bed. "I didn't think you'd come see me."

His light laugh greeted me instantly and I suddenly had no reminders of the two painful surgeries I'd just endured. Had I been more aware before now, I would've noticed that he always seemed to make reality slip away. That sense of normalcy that I'd always been so desperate to cling to actually felt obtainable in his presence. "Carlisle told me they rushed you into surgery so I figured that it would be a good idea to give you some time to heal. I'd hate for you to pop a stitch or something with me around."

Even though I could feel the danger laced through his words, I couldn't fight back the quiet laugh that filled my throat. "I'd be abnormally careful around you. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up draining the blood bank soon if I keep this up."

"I know." He mused and suddenly wrinkled his nose as he leaned closer to the bed. His expression became muddled as I stared at him in hopeless curiosity, my eyebrow inching even more when his nose stayed wrinkled but yet he collapsed back in his chair. "You don't smell normal to me."

Snorting back a laugh, I just shook my head slightly and fought the small grin that was forming on my lips anyway. "I still can't get over that, by the way."

"Can't get over what?" He asked casually, a light grin smoothing out his features effortlessly.

"Me...enticing you as much as I do." I hedged, still wary about using the exact phrasing that I'd wanted. But with the way I'd spoken my answer, another thought seized me and caused me to shift uncomfortably. Of course, the movement snared my stitches and a low hiss passed through my lips. Edward was on the edge of his seat before I could clearly look at him and a small smile instantly washed over my features. But yet he was suddenly leaning over me anyway, his cold touch igniting a fire-like heat underneath my skin. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt to a normal person, the only people that were touching me now was nurses and doctors, so I could only wonder what was going through his mind as he stared down at me, his eyes growing a smidge darker as he held my gaze effortlessly.

"It's much more than your blood that entices me now." He seemed to know exactly what I was going to say before I got distracted by the small, searing flare of pain in my abdomen.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind." I blurted out in a quiet whisper, not being able to think about anything clearly but him. His breath washed over my cheeks, mouth, and nose in light waves with every breath he took and I found myself wanting him even closer than he already was. Even though there was now only about an inch of space between our faces, as I looked up at him, more helpless than I'd ever been in front of him before, I couldn't imagine _not_ telling him everything. I couldn't keep secrets from him anymore and I'd finally reached the point where I didn't want to. I wanted him to know me, _really_ know me in ways that no one else had before. I was still scared of his reaction, yes. But as he stood over me and gently glided his fingertips over my cheekbone, nose, jaw, then finally my lips; the risk was worth it to me.


	19. Chapter 19

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

**Chapter Nineteen:**

I was finally free. Edward still had no idea what exactly was going on with me.

Even though I'd made the decision to tell him everything after Carlisle's unexpected visit to my hospital room, the words were still...not forming. It was almost as if I still had some sort of mental block when it came to telling him the truth. To tell him that I was going to die sooner than he probably expected.

Of course, the rest of the Cullens knew that something was going on. I could tell when I saw Alice for the first time after my release. She looked at me with such sad eyes and another tear began to form in my heart. But Edward still didn't know. I guess Carlisle had been right when he told me that they'd learned some tricks around his gift over the years.

But I was still confined to bedrest. It wasn't time yet for me to get my stitches out but I was surprisingly anxious to get back to school. There were only a couple of days left of my senior year and I strangely didn't want to spend them in bed. So three mornings after I left the hospital, I decided to try and chance it. I had to be there for finals, there was just no way I was going to be able to get around that. Lucky for me, I'd already been caught up on everything else and still held a pretty high GPA. The only class I could've been in danger of failing was Gym but I was still excused from that. After all, how could someone recovering from major surgery participate in a game of basketball? Not me!

I kept my head low as I slowly moved through the parking lot. It wasn't quite full yet but I knew it was just a matter of time before my classmates trudged out of bed and endured the last day of actual classes. The weather was cloudy and drizzly and I was heartened a little to know that Edward and Alice wouldn't have to miss. Not today, at least. But my heart jumped into my throat when I looked around and found Edward leaning against the back of his car. A Greek God with the rain darkening his hair and making him look more like a model on some horrendous fashion shoot, than a high school senior waiting for the day to start. He didn't really need to be there, I knew that. How many times had he gone through this in the course of his new life? This definitely wasn't going to be his last trip through the public school system.

Somehow, I caught his eye and that crooked grin that always made my heart skip several beats appeared on his features. My feet seemed to have a mind of their own as I turned and walked over to him, instead of keeping with my original plan and talking to the school nurse about possibly getting some extra bandaging so I could worry a little less about popping a stitch. Especially around Edward. I could just _see_ the look on his face when my blood hit the air.

Pushing that from my mind as I came to a stop in front of him, my lips effortlessly turned up into a smile as I kept my hand clapped over my waist, carefully positioning my fingers so I wasn't directly touching the two lines of stitches from my separate surgeries.

"I thought you were still on bedrest." His words were music to my ears, even if he sounded like he was teasing me as he straightened up to greet me.

I rolled my eyes and pretended to scoff, but kept my movements short and simple so I wouldn't yank at my still-healing skin. "You've seen my room, would _you_ want to stare at those walls all day?!"

Edward pretended to mull over my question for several minutes before that breath-taking grin was on his features again. "I guess I can see your point." He conceeded then grew serious as his expression changed to match. "Are you sure though? You shouldn't push yourself so soon after surgery."

"If you want me to stay away from you...just in case, I will." I blurted out, my mind instantly jumping to conclusions about him not wanting to risk being around me. After all, it was so easy for me to bleed now. And I wasn't clotting as well as I should so the risk was even higher than normal. I wasn't about to make things worse for the beautiful vampire in front of me.

"If you think I'm letting you out of my sight, you're wrong." He practically growled, his arms even tightening against his chest as his stare became penetrating.

"Okay, okay!" I shouted, not thinking, and held my hands up in defence. I was quick to look away from him so he didn't completely muddle my senses and turn me into a walking pile of Jello. That was usually when the accidents happened. "But if I start bleeding...?"

"I'll stop breathing." He promised quietly then shockingly reached out and took my hand. His ice cold grip felt almost familiar as chills shot through me. The ones that were filled with electricity, not me reacting to how cold his body was.

I could only stare up at him in shock for a second, then started to walk alongside him once my fingers had slid through his then curled in to touch the back of his fingers. Carlisle really did know what he was talking about that day in the hospital. I was just finally starting to believe it now.

By the time lunch arrived, Alice had caught up with us. Good on his promise, Edward hadn't left my side unless he absolutely had to. We only had one class together, but he was close to my side and even forced me through the line to get something to eat. Our food was piled together on his tray and he sat as close to me as possible with one arm slung over the back of my chair as I force-fed myself. And Alice sat in front of me, her bell-like voice carrying a conversation effortlessly as she pretended to eat the food in front of her.

It all felt so normal and comfortable. Like I'd been eating lunch with the Cullens all along. Nothing felt sudden or forced as I easily fell into the conversation Alice had started, and even Edward joined in with his quiet, velvety laugh. When the bell rang to signal the start of a new class, Edward was marginal on the distance he put between our chairs. I wasn't really sure what had happened, or what changed over the course of the last few days, but I was strangely okay with being in the dark. Deep, in the back of my mind, I'd known all along that I wanted to be with Edward. I wanted to be able to hold his hand while we walked across campus to classes, and I wanted him to be comfortable and at ease as he sat beside me in lunch. He didn't let his eyes get past a dark gold, which was becoming his way of letting me know that his thirst was still managable. For him, at least. I still had absolutely no idea how he did it.

But when school ended and I was kidnapped to the Cullen mansion, I unknowingly walked into more knowledge about Edward's increased determination to stick to his family's lifestyle. I carefully lowered myself onto the dark couch in his room, needing a pillow underneath the small of my back so I didn't slouch and twist the stitches. It was way too damn difficult to act normally around him with my body as marked up as it was. Even moreso since I was terrified that one false move would make me start bleeding and thus, make Edward's thirst; as well as every other vampire in the house, unruly.

Sighing as I pushed dark hair off my forehead, I looked down at the book in my lap. That was when my stomach twisted violently. Even though a good source of my 'problem' had been taken out with my last surgery, I was nowhere near out of the woods yet. If anything, my fate was just even more sealed by my kidneys and intestines now being infected. As if I needed more discomfort and pain.

"You okay?" Edward had stretched out on the floor in front of me to study and had noticed the new look transform my features. He sat up instantly, worried and apprehensive.

"Just nauseated." I muttered with a small wave of my hand. "It'll pass." I sighed then sucked in a large amount of air and exhaled slowly. I could only hope that it passed but when it just made things even worse, I slid the book off my lap and started to get up.

"What's wrong?" He was at my side in a flash, one arm curved protectively around the small of my back while his other hand latched gently onto my wrist.

"I need the bathroom." My voice was still low as I moved as quickly as possible, still being mindful of my bellyful of stitches. But when I reached the bathroom, I lost control. Sinking to my knees without warning, my stomach clenched and my back arched painfully as heaves started to take over. I couldn't hear Edward come up behind me and flatten his hand gently over where my hand had been resting all day. But just as his fingers moved over the incisions, I gasped in pain when a stitch suddenly popped. I fell back onto the floor without warning, collapsing against the cold tile as my body continued to shake and a dark red stain started to spread across the bottom of my shirt.

"Oh no." I heard the voice before I saw the face. Strong, cold arms scooped me off the floor in an instant and I gasped again when I felt something tight constrict around my midsection. Forcing my eyes opened, I wasn't surprised to find myself in Carlisle's arms, but the look on Edward's face broke my heart. His dark eyes were alive with his burning thirst, hands clenched tightly at his sides with his back pressed firmly against the wall behind him. I could also tell that his chest wasn't moving and knew he wasn't breathing. Just like he'd promised in the school parking lot.

Carlisle carried me to his office, quietly asking Emmett to stay outside his door in case the scent of my blood carried throughout the house. I only caught glimpses of Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper as they tore down the stairs and let my head fall back in defeat when Edward soon joined them. They needed air so they wouldn't attack me.

"I'm sorry." I muttered as he lowered me onto a couch and defly lifted my shirt up. I felt the sting of a needle when he gently wrenched the broken stitch loose, soon replacing it with a new one before he sealed off the wound with a good-sized amount of gauze.

"Nothing to be sorry for." Carlisle replied with one of his gentle smiles. He could forgive anyone anything. I was well aware of that now. "You couldn't help it, we all know that."

"Maybe...I should stay away." I muttered as I watched him work, cleaning the excess blood away before he loaded everything into a crystal bowl and lit a match. The flames danced instantly and I was dimly aware that he had to get rid of all scents of my blood. For the others, not himself. He was all but immune to human blood now.

"Nonsense." Again, I was being adomished as he helped me sit up. Alice walked into the room then, smiling at me warmly with a fresh shirt in her hands. But she still wasn't breathing. But as she helped me change shirts, I caught the distinct sound of something crashing into the wall upstairs. My scent was still in the house, in the bathroom attached to Edward's bedroom. Looking up at Carlisle in confusion, I couldn't see his face as he lit my old shirt on fire.

"Jasper." Alice sighed and the expression on her elfin features was pure pain.

"Go." I snapped then winced when I realized how harsh I'd made that simple word sound. Grimacing up at her, I just gestured at the door. "He needs you."

She leaned down long enough to kiss my cheek before she was gone, leaving me alone with Carlisle once again. I heard another crash upstairs and cringed responsively.

"Jasper's not as used to denying his thirst as the rest of us are." Carlisle explained quietly as he sat down next to me. I just nodded at his statement, only moving again when the crashing continued above our heads. "He tries very hard, but we're all far from perfect."

"You don't seem to have a problem with my bleeding habit." I muttered involuntarily and turned my head to look over at him. "Why is that? Why are you so immune?"

"I forced myself to build up this immunity, Houston. I've had over three hundred years to desensitize myself. Edward's the second oldest but even he has his moments of fierce temptation. I'm sure you saw his expression as I carried you out of the bathroom."

I nodded and my mind mercilessly recreated the mental image that had been taken of his tensed jaw, tightly-drawn lips, flared nostrils, and feral eyes. The eyes of a monster. Leaning back carefully, I kept my hand on the noticable mound of bandages under my shirt and heaved a quiet sigh. "Sometimes I wished I could change all of this."

"What do you mean?" A frown instantly crossed my features at Carlisle's question and I realized that I'd said this aloud. I hadn't meant to, it was just supposed to be one of about a thousand thoughts tumbling around my head. Emmett walked into the room right then, looking perfectly at ease as he dropped down on the carpet in front of me and leaned his shoulder against the couch I'd been put on.

"That I didn't torment Edward as much as I do. That I hadn't been sliced open over a week ago, and having to be extremely careful now as a result. Sometimes I honestly think it would be better if I just kept my distance."

"That wouldn't change a thing." Edward's voice was suddenly filling the room with a quiet rush of determination. I looked over to actually see him cross the room in three long, angry strides. I didn't feel the slightest inkling to snicker when he shoved Emmett out of the way long enough for him to sit down, but I did look at the burly vampire sheepishly as he shifted to now sit directly in front of me, leaning back easily on his arms with his ankles crossed in front of him. Nothing could piss Emmett off and I didn't really want to see that ever change. The _thought_ of Emmett pissed off was enough to scare me witless. "I'd still find a way to be around you. I'm not letting you push me away anymore, Houston."

"Maybe it's time you finally told him." If it were possible, my blood ran ice cold in my veins when a new voice joined us. Alice's voice. She'd finally seen the one thing I'd always feared she would. She knew my secret.


	20. Chapter 20

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE**__: The truth finally comes out! Anyway, just to warn you guys, this chapter is one of the main reasons why I posted this with a mature rating. I won't give away why, but just keep it in mind._

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Twenty:**

"Tell us what?" Emmett asked casually, but his eyes were too fixated on me for me to fully believe he was as unphased as he wanted to be.

My shoulders slumped at that and I didn't even bother to look up when Esme soon joined the growing huddle in Carlisle's office. He got up and stood aside so that Alice could sit next to me, her hand sliding reassuringly into mine as Edward continued to sit motionlessly beside me. Esme stood by her husband and I realized the only two missing were Jasper and Rosalie. "You might wanna call the other two in." I muttered and waved at the door. "Carlisle got rid of all the blood in here so no one will be tempted."

"You're still bleeding though." Edward murmered into my ear and I understood why he was so tense beside me. Of course, the inability to clot.

I resisted the urge to punch myself in the gut as Esme turned her head and quietly called for her two, missing children. They soon walked back into the room, Alice torn about the decision to leave my side in order to join her true love. Jasper didn't get any further than just inside the door and even with the distance, I could tell that he didn't trust himself around me. I was suddenly feeling very much like a liability in that moment. It didn't help that Rosalie was back to looking at me in disgust as she sat down behind Emmett, her statuesque body easily hidden behind her husband's muscular frame. Her chin rested on his shoulder and her expression became impatient when Alice finally got up and went to join Jasper across the room. Oxygen seemed to seep from my lungs as I bent my head, somehow digging up the silent courage I knew I would need to tell them all everything. Edward's hand glided across the inside of my forearm, our fingers linking together with no real force needed to complete the action and I looked back up. Looked at every single face in the room but one. I couldn't bare to look at the angelic expression of concern and fear that was waiting on my immediate right. "I probably should've told you all sooner but I was kind of hoping that I wouldn't have to. I've been hoping for a long time that this would all go away. But it's not, it's getting worse actually and..." Sighing, I just shrugged and finally looked at Edward, my lips tightening into a straight line even more when his face sent a flash of pain through my chest. "I had to have surgery, two surgeries in fact, because I have cancer. My doctor was hoping that my second surgery would pull me out of danger but it didn't. The cancer's already spread to my kidneys and intestines. It's only a matter of time now."

Edward's reaction was the one I'd been the most scared to see. But no amount of preparation could've warned me about what he did next. Wrenching his hand from mine, his eyes darkened even more as he stared at me for about a fraction of a second then he was gone. My human eyes hadn't been able to track his progress across the room, or watch as he disappeared out into the hall. But when I heard a violent crash seconds later, I knew that he was reacting badly. Very badly.

"Is that why you looked so thin when you came back?" Esme asked quietly, causing me to look up and see her eyes swimming with unveiled pity and pain.

I could only nod at her question, my voice disappearing just seconds after Edward's violent steal from the room. "I learned, before I left, that I wasn't responding anymore to treatments and while I was gone, I decided to stop fighting."

"Why?" This time it was Rosalie's dark voice that hit me like a wrecking ball. "Why would you _decide_ to give up?"

I glanced up quickly and grew still when her heated gaze held mine immobile. "Because I can't win. I've lost so much already, this is never going to go away. The cancer's too deeply embedded in my body. Even if I _were_ to recover? My entire future has changed. I'll never have children, I'll never be able to get pregnant, and I'm always going to look like a cancer victim. It's torn my body apart way too much for all of the damage to be completely repaired."

"So that's it." I very narrowly missed Alice's soft words as she stood stoically beside Jasper. Her eyes were filled with the same pain Esme's were as she gazed at me in a surprising amount of compassion. "I knew something was going on, but when your future disappeared, I could've never guessed _this_ would be the reason."

"What do you mean?" I blurted out unthinkingly and broke Rosalie's gaze to stare at Edward's other, immortally glorious sister. "My future disappeared?!"

"Yes." She nodded and her voice grew a little stronger as her hand blindingly linked with her lover's. "You haven't done what I figured you would. You've made no steps to make that decision and as a result, I can't see anything beyond the day you...die."

The gasp that rocked through my throat was constricted, but I knew that everyone in the room heard me. Another crash resonated through the house before I was able to speak again, and another tremor rocked through me with the realization that it was Edward. Once again. "What did you expect me to do, Alice? I can't do anything but accept this and keep my plan going."

Once the words left my lips, I noticed Edward's family start to leave the room. I guessed they could somehow sense that some amount of privacy was needed, for what, I had no idea. But when Carlisle reached out and gently lifted me off the couch, I was vaguely aware that something was waiting for me. I had to find Edward and confront him before I could continue my conversation with Alice. There was something I was missing and I had a strong feeling that the missing piece lie with Edward. So I didn't resist when my body took control and took me back to Edward's bedroom.

He was standing in front of the large window when I entered, looking as still as a statue as I cautiously came up behind him. "Talk to me." I breathed, my tone begging as my fingers locked together in a painful, joined fist. "Please?"

"What's there to say?" Edward's voice was void of any emotion as he continued to stare out the window. I'd always envisioned him looking at me like some hideous shell of a person. I never thought that he would be _unable_ to look at me at all. And I had definitely not expected for him to sound as cold as he was right then. But he did turn around to face me, his expression hard with only his eyes blazing in fury. "You made your choice a long time ago, Houston. You made it before you ever met me. Did you really think that I would have it in me to get close to you, to _love_ you then just sit back and watch you fade away?"

His words felt like a slap in the face and I recoiled as if he had actually slapped me. "I tried." Again, my words were a breathless whisper as I stared up into his perfect, angry eyes. "I tried to stay away from you. I didn't want you to find this out about me. I kept hoping that you would eventually find me disgusting enough and _want_ to stay away from me. I never expected...any of this."

"So now what?" Anger flooded through Edward's words in a rush of his pent-up fury. He advanced on me and gripped my arms tighter than he'd ever touched me before. I could see the struggle for self-restraint in his eyes as he glared down at me, and saw his jaw tense even more. If that were possible. Any normal human would've had a broken jaw by now. "You're going to tell me this, that you're dying, and leave again? Leave me unable to save you in any way?"

"Don't!" I shouted unexpectedly and tried to move away from his unbreakable hold. But he had me, even if his hands weren't physically restraining me. "Don't stand there and act like you knew nothing was wrong with me! Don't stand there and pretend you didn't notice my clothes hanging off my frame, or forget that you even _asked_ me about my radiation marks! And don't you _dare_ stand there and act like there's some alternative for me." I forced myself to stop with that last statement, and the anger suddenly drained from my body as my shoulders slumped in his hands. "Don't give me hope when there is none. I can't take it." I was whispering again, tears pricking the back of my eyes before they filled my eyes and spilled over. I didn't even bother to reach up and push them away. Edward had my body locked by his hands and gaze, I couldn't even move a finger right then. "You have a choice to make." I mustered up as much courage into my voice as I could and pushed my body to steel up under his grip. "You know everything now, Edward. Now you have to decide what kind of role you're going to have in the rest of my life."

"I can't ask that of you." The words were unexpected as they slipped past Edward's angry-set lips. I knew of one thing that would save me, but it was an alternative that I never actually spent time wishing for. How could I, when I spent so much time worrying about whether or not he even _wanted_ me in my human body. "I can't ask you to sacrifice your soul because I wasted too much time trying to stay away from you while you were _dying of cancer_."

"Is that really what you were doing?" At my question, his hands flew from my body and I pitched back slightly. I was able to regain my balance fairly quickly and shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans as I stared at the angry movements that carried him back to facing the glass wall. "Were you trying to stay away from me for your benefit or mine?"

"Yours!" His voice broke in an angry roar as he whirled around once again to face me. For the first time since I'd met Edward Cullen, he stood in front of me looking like a vampire. Not the boy that had filled my thoughts and dreams since my first day in Physics class. "I tried to maintain some distance between us for _your_ sake! So I wouldn't be tempted to kill you, Houston. Your blood has never stopped tempting me, your scent has never left my mind so completely that I've been able to forget your existance completely. You coming into my life turned everything around. Suddenly, I found myself staring at the one thing I've always wanted. The one person Esme has spent her existance hoping I would find. I never hoped for something more to my existance until the day you walked into that classroom. Even though I've thought about taking your life from you in a million different ways, I've also found myself wanting you more than I have any right to. Don't you see that?" His voice calmed down as he continued to speak, but only marginally. And once again, he was gripping me, his hands like a vice on my wrists as he yanked my hands from my pockets and pulled my arms up between us. "Don't you see that I have no right to want to be with you? I've lied, Houston. I've stolen and cheated to get my way. And every single once of those was as effortless as breathing. But I can't covet. I can't take something that isn't mine to have."

"Who says?" I felt powerless against him once more. Just like the last time we'd stood in his bedroom, alone, I found myself unable to move away from him in any way. Now that I was seeing past events through the perception of his world, I felt a sudden fierce longing that had never dwelled in my body before. Even though I was dying, almost on the brink of my body shutting down and giving up the fight, I found myself wanting to fight for _him._ I wanted to fight to have him in my life the way I'd unconsciously been wanting since the first time I'd seen him shirtless in this very room. "Who says I'm not yours for the taking, Edward? I can't stay away from you, you know that. But how is it fair for me to give in to you now? How is it fair for me to stand in front of you and ask you to love me when it's only going to lead to you watching me die?"

"I'd do anything you ask." He spoke with a sudden conviction that I'd heard in other heated conversations of our past. I'd heard it the night he had tried to keep me from leaving Forks. And I'd heard it the day he found me and carried me to the hospital. But before I could react in any verbal sort of way, his grip became steel as he pulled me up against him and pressed his cold, unrelenting lips against mine. My head spun as the scent of his breath invaded my senses and my body blindingly curved against his as I molded my lips against his. A broken gasp filled my lungs when his lips parted against mine and his tongue traced my lower lip. He released my hands and they flew up to clench into the hair at the base of his skull as his lips left mine and began a dizzying trail of kisses along my jaw then down to my throat.

But as my body strained to move even closer to his, my back bent slightly against the forward curve of his own, I exhaled in a sharp moan when several stitches split against my stomach. I could once again smell the rust and salt scent of my blood as it hit the air. Everything spun out of control then. I barely heard the commotion behind me as Edward lost control and sank his teeth into the soft flesh that covered the curve of my neck. I clenched my hands even tighter in his hair as he yanked me closer to his ice cold form, my feet leaving the floor entirely as he straightened up and pulled blood from the wound he'd created. I moaned again, weakly this time, as my hands slackened then fell limply to my sides. Unconsciousness was on the verge of rendering me completely powerless and as I was wrenched away from Edward's feral hold, I hit the floor with a sickening thud then everything around me went black.


	21. Chapter 21

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Twenty-One:**

"It has to be _her_ choice!" Even though the words were powerful in anger, they felt so far away. Everything felt like a dream around me, the airconditioning whirling noisily against my skin, the soft carpeting underneath me, the dark liquid still seeping into my shirt for the second time that day. Consciousness came to me more quickly, but everything still felt disjointed as pain swirled in my neck and abdomen. I was still bleeding, my life draining from me slowly into the white cotton encasing my upper body.

A broken groan flowed past my parted lips when something suddenly clamped down on my neck, pulling me from the sideways position I'd fallen into and onto my back. Pain bubbled through my throat like water when something else was shoved over my stomach, but I couldn't force my eyes open to see who was causing agony to ripple through me even more. I wasn't aware of time as I lay on the floor, my body sprawled out like a broken doll that had just been discarded by their owner.

"Houston?" My name sounded like a song as it floated past my eardrums, nearly drowned out by the racing pulse of my heart. I moaned again in response and managed to pull my eyelids back into slits. Carlisle was on one side of me, with Alice on the other. I could still smell the rust and salt in the air and weakly turned my face away from her agonizing glare.

"You'll want to do it too." I whispered, my voice causing my neck to flare angrily at the movement and reached out blindly to push her away as my legs began to tremble with the urge to curl up. Pain was everywhere and I couldn't avoid it. I couldn't get away from any sliver of it and I wanted to scream in response. "Leave." If it were possible, my voice dropped even lower as unconsciousness threatened to pull me under yet again. But I fought against it, only allowing my eyes to close as Carlisle continued to move over me in hope of keeping me from bleeding out on the floor of his son's bedroom.

"Stay with me, Houston." Carlisle spoke this time, his tone urgent as he kept what I now realized was a towel, wedged against my stitches. I couldn't feel the fabric covering my neck now, where Edward had bitten me. And with my eyes closed, I didn't see when Emmett bodily removed Edward from the room and Carlisle once again lifted me up into his stone embrace. "Keep the towel tight against her stomach, Alice. And don't breathe. I know it's uncomfortable, but we have to move her."

I could offer no resistance as they walked together, Carlisle supporting all one hundred pounds of my body as he decended two different flights of stares. I had no idea where they were taking me, but when the air shifted and turned almost stifling, I was dimly aware that I was in a room they no longer used. And it was on the first floor of the house. The support of Carlisle's arms disappeared and a new, soft barrier held me as the pain in my body resurfaced. "Houston? Can you hear me?"

"Yes." I muttered, my head tilting toward the source of sound he'd emitted.

"I'm going to have to bite you again."

That sent my body into an involuntary reaction. The fading numbness disappeared and I was painfully alert and aware of what was going on around me. "No!" I shouted and wrenched my eyelids open to stare up at him. I knew why he had to, I could already begin to feel the twinges of heat igniting in my neck. Edward had unconsciously left venom in my system. Venom that would turn me into one of them. "Let it work." I whimpered, not above the idea of begging as I reached out to grip his wrist frantically. "Let it..." The numbness was back and threatening to take over again but I couldn't let it. I couldn't risk blacking out with Carlisle wanting to try some strange possibility of pulling the venom, _Edward's venom_ from my system.

"You need time." He whispered feverishly then, before I could object, the towel against my throat was removed and his teeth filled the indention that Edward's had left behind. I groaned, louder this time, and futively fought against him as he sucked blood and venom to the surface of my wound. I wasn't aware of anyone else in the room right then, so the sudden piercing on my other side hit me suddenly. Then another sense of numbness began to unfold through my veins, pulling my body back against whatever I was laying against in resignation. I lost track of how long Carlisle spent pulling my liquid strength from me, but I heard his voice again all too soon. "I think I got it all." He muttered to whoever else was in the room then grew more faint when he seemed to pull away from me.

"Can you feel anything?" A new voice, Esme's voice, greeted me quietly and I was almost sure that this was all a dream again. I was convinced of it.

"Numb." I muttered, my own voice sounding foreign and convincing me even more that this was a dream, I sighed in defeat and soon felt myself go under once again.

* * *

The sunlight was the first thing to hit my eyes when the blackness that had me in a stranglehold started to wan. I didn't dare open my eyes though, knowing that the blinding light against my eyelids would burn my retinas. Turning my head, I winced when I felt something tug against my neck. I forced my eyes open then and frowned when I noticed unfamiliar walls surrounding me. The walls were a bright shade of blue and feeling around told me that I'd been placed in a bed. Were there really _beds_ in the Cullen house? My legs felt heavy as they shifted slightly underneath the blanket that covered my lower body. I could feel different clothes on my body now and a mental assesment confirmed that I'd just been placed in a large tee shirt. At least I wasn't back in the hospital. If that had been the case, I would've felt the papery fabric of a surgical gown, not the soft folds of cotton.

I chanced a quick glance around the room, but found nothing familiar about it. When I looked at the right side of the room, I blinked in confusion when something appeared raised from the curve of my right elbow. I glanced up more and fell back in exhaustion when a thin, red tube connected my arm to a bag that had been speared onto an IV stand. The bag above my head contained blood. Blood that was leaking into _my_ body.

"How're you feeling?" Even though I wasn't looking, I could see the face before my mind registered the voice. Edward stood in the doorway, his features looked like they had been etched out of granite. Tilting my cheek toward the undamaged side of my neck, I sighed and closed my eyes when he ghosted into the room and laid his hand on my forehead.

"Pain." I muttered thickly, answering a different question than the one he'd just posed to me. I was telling him what I remembered, _and_ what I felt now. Whatever Esme had injected me with as Carlisle drained me further was long gone and the small flurry of discomfort in my stomach and neck greeted me eagerly. "What happened?"

"I lost control." The pain beginning to flare in my body had nothing on the pain in his voice as I looked up at him. He was inches from me, leaning over me now like he had the first day he'd come to see me in the hospital after my surgery. "I'm so, so sorry Houston. I never meant to do that to you."

"Nothing to apologize for." I sighed and waved my hand slightly. I couldn't rake him over the coals for losing control. It was a risk we'd been running from for over six months. "I should've pulled away when I felt my stitch pop."

"You wouldn't have been able to." The tone in his voice was flat, mirroring in his eyes as he turned and curled a leg underneath him. That was when I realized just how wide the bed was that I'd been laid on. For some reason, I'd had the mental image of me laying in a hospital bed in one of the Cullens' unused rooms. That, apparently, wasn't the case. "I just would've hurt you more if you struggled."

I could see the misery clearly etched on his features, and I could tell that he was punishing himself enough for the both of us. I forced my limbs to comply as I sat up, pushing the back of my shoulders onto the pillow behind me before I had to stop. Moving wasn't a good idea, not with how irritated the skin covering my stomach was. I knew that there should've been a strong sense of fear in me, fear that he could snap me in two without even really thinking about it. But yet...I couldn't force myself to create that. I couldn't _make_ myself have the normal reaction of fearing him and wanting to get away as fast as possible. Instead of staying on the subject of him being able to hurt me, I just sighed and got as comfortable as I could in my new position. "Does Margie know where I am?"

"Yes." Edward nodded and stayed still, not even flinching as I moved and grimaced in pain. But I could see the emotions flickering in his eyes as they changed or grew stronger. "Esme and Alice gave her a condensed version of what's happened when they got you some fresh clothes."

"Oh." I sighed and nodded, giving up on sitting upright as I sank back onto the mattress. Even though a good part of my focus was on the dull roar of pain, there was another part of my brain completely focused on him. He hadn't touched me since just seconds before losing control. Even now, he was immobile stone, keeping even more distance between us than before I'd ever found out what he was. Staying silent, I just watched him for a second then raised an eyebrow slightly as my expression suddenly turned wary. "Go ahead and say it, Edward."

"Say what?" He looked completely thrown for a split second then composed his features back into the smooth mask he'd mastered just seconds after I woke up.

"That you regret kissing me." I muttered, suddenly losing my confidence when the strangest look transformed his features. My heart jumped into my throat and stayed there as he finally moved, his movements agonizingly graceful as he pivoted off the bed and strode to the door. Edward was turning back around to face me in the blink of an eye, his arms crossed tightly across the front of his beige shirt. "What?" I blurted out and tried to ignore feeling like a kid that'd just gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "Edward, I'm not blind or ignorant. I pay attention and usually, when something happens that you feel bad about, you take immediate steps to ever keep it from happening again."

"Houston," He sighed and let his arms drop down to his sides. "I don't regret kissing you." The honesty in his dark golden eyes was bright as they locked my gaze and held me. "I only regret biting you."

"Then why haven't you touched me?" I couldn't help but wince at how quiet and almost...child-like it was as I continued to stare up at him. "Why does it feel like there's more distance between us now than before all of the secrets came out?" Once I got started, I couldn't just swallow back the words anymore. I forced myself to sit up, holding the towel that'd been laid over my stomach for just-in-case reasons, and sighed as I flipped hair off my face once I was settled. "From the moment we met, it's felt like one strange dance. And I'm sick of being apart of it. I can't keep doing this, I can't keep letting you in only to push you away again because something threatened to throw a wrench into things. I don't have enough strength to keep up with you anymore."

"What do you want me to say?" Edward looked defeated as he walked back over to the bed and sat back down next to me. My heart jumped back into my throat when his cold touch slid down my arm, then his fingers curled through mine. "What can I say that will help solve everything?"

I didn't answer automatically, even though words were forming on the tip of my tongue at a dizzying rate. There was so much that I suddenly wanted to say but yet, I had no idea how to completely tell him everything I wanted him to know. And as I sat there, with my hand clutching his as some sort of lifeline, I realized that there was a lot we didn't even know about one another. The major basics were covered, yes. But I wanted to know _everything_ about him and I was running out of time. Glancing down at our connected hands, I sighed and swallowed thickly as my thumb began to glide over the perfect marble of his knuckles. Doing the only thing I could think to do, I just began to talk. "When I woke up...after you bit me..." I winced at that word, hating that I was even starting where I was. But it was probably the most important thing I could say. I heaved another sigh then looked up at him, my face completely void of anything but vulnerability. "I didn't want Carlisle to save me. I didn't want to be saved at all." My realization was soft as it echoed through my ears, but I could clearly see that he'd heard every single word I'd just said. And the expression on his face conveyed his reaction. Pure pain with anger a close second. I sat up a little more before he could say anything, tightening my grip on his ice cold hand. "I didn't want him to save me because I suddenly realized what Alice had been talking about. I realized a long time ago that I'm in love with you, but I couldn't admit it to myself because I had no idea how you felt about me."

"Houston." His quiet speech stopped me cold. The words just seemed to fade from my throat as agony flared mercilessly on his features. Fearing that I'd said the wrong thing, that I'd done something he wished I wouldn't have, I tensed up in silent preparation of his rebuff. But it never came. Instead, he just gripped my hand a little tighter and leaned toward me. So far that I could feel his cool breath against my face as his mouth twisted around the words he was about to say. "I can't remember a time when I wasn't hopelessly in love with you. But as I said before, I felt like I had no right to feel that way. To want you to love me just as much as I love you. When I came to this realization, I had no idea about your secret. I just thought that I wouldn't be able to give you the kind of future I wanted for you. I wanted you to go on and find someone that could love you in ways that I'm uncapable. I _wanted_ you to find a man that could give you a normal life, a house full of children with the possibility of grandchildren and growing old with this man. There've been times when I couldn't push the...the jealousy away. I hated the thought of you being with someone else, finding everything with him that I hoped you would be able to find with me."

"But now what?" I asked helplessly, my voice breaking several times with just that simple question. "I've never wanted that, even before I got sick. I never thought about finding a man and getting married, then having kids and growing old with him as grandchildren came into the future. I grew up believing that happily ever after just didn't exist. But I never, even in my wildest of hopes and dreams, believe that you would come into my life and give me that belief. Sitting here now, I'm scared because I can't shake the fear that it's going to disappear. I still can't ask you to sit by and watch me continue to die. And that's what you'll be doing if..." I suddenly couldn't bring myself to finish that statement. In the place of all the things Edward had hoped I would want, a new one took it's place. One that was so much stronger than the hope I used to hold onto about beating the cancer raging within me. Maybe it was because I already knew, and had accepted a long time ago, that I was never going to be able to fulfill that dream.

"If what?" Edward's gentle voice seemed to give me that push I needed. The courage to ask him for the one thing that no one else, aside from his family, would be able to give me. But yet I couldn't push sound from my throat. That proverbial block was still there and even bigger than before. Suddenly, his expression changed and I could see the faint glimmer of understanding as his mind worked to catch onto what I was going to say, but couldn't. "If you stay human." The rest of my sentence hit the air in a quiet whoosh of his sweet, yet cold voice.

I couldn't force myself to look away when his eyes lifted to meet mine, which were suddenly blazing brighter than they had in a very long time. "I'll only stay human if you can sit there and tell me that there isn't a single part of you that will want me forever."


	22. Chapter 22

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Twenty-Two:**

It'd been two days. Two impossibly long days since the entire course of my reationship with Edward changed. Even though it felt like we'd gained some sort of stable ground, I still couldn't shake the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. The sense that something major was just on the horizon. But as I sat out on the porch, curled up in the wooden swing that Margie had helped me settle into before she had to leave for work, I tried to force myself not to think about it.

I was back with Margie now and I could see the hopeless frustration on her features everytime she caught me unable to move the way I wanted to. The way I used to. The stitches were finally going to come out and I only had a week left before that deadline. I could only hope that things began to shape up into a better senario once my surgery scars had fully healed. I was sick of feeling so weak and fragile. But then again, I couldn't really remember a time when I hadn't felt this way.

The only times I felt normal and whole, even with a needle in my arm and stitches in my belly, were with Edward and his family. Emmett was still as unshaken as ever, grinning at me broadly whenever he would move me around the Cullen house during my two day stay with them. He took up the slack with an easy smile and teasing tone when Edward had been forced to go hunt so that he could keep his thirst under control. I still hadn't thought to ask him if I was tempting him now more than ever, since he had finally succumbed enough to actually taste my blood. The thought and memory always sent a chill racing down my spine, but the fear I'd been expecting just never showed up.

I tried my best to play off the chill that suddenly spiraled through me and pulled the blanket I'd been wrapped up in higher onto my shoulder. My neck was still covered in gauze, but that would just be until Carlisle came over to check. He'd claimed that vampire bites healed faster than any normal cut, but I had my doubts. And I refused to let it bother me when Jasper had let it slip that their venom was the only thing that created scars. I just hoped Edward wouldn't torture himself whenever he looked at my neck and saw the scar he'd left behind.

A noise sounded to my right and, almost as if I'd called for him verbally, there he was in all of his immortal glory. The sun was gently peaking through the clouds that permanantly coated the sky, and it glittered faintly against his face and forearms. He'd already told me about the affects the sun had on him since it was risky for him to take me out, away from human eyes, and actually _show_ me the affects himself. But seeing him now, walking up to my front door in a graceful, leasurely pace; I could understand why he had to stay hidden. But I also wondered if there was any way that he could look less devistatingly beautiful. He still had the power to take my breath away.

"Hi." His lips moved easily into the lopsided grin that made my head swim as he climbed the porch and knelt down in front of me.

I could easily feel my face mirror his, albeit pathetically, and reached out to grab his hand. He obliged me and carefully lifted me so that he could sit on the swing as well, with me leaning against his side. I relaxed against him with a quiet sigh, then tilted my head up toward his face for my own greeting. "Hi yourself. I was wondering when you'd get back."

"Sorry." He muttered and twisted his grin slightly before it was perfecting his features once more. "I didn't want to leave you but..."

"It's okay." I nodded and laid my hand on his arm that had been carefully wound around the bottom of my ribcage. Once again, the long sleeves of his shirt were pushed up to the crease of his elbow and my fingers began to trace random designs on the perfect, sparkly skin. "Just because I don't like it doesn't mean that I can't understand. I'd rather have you leave for a few days and come back, than just disappear all together."

"I'm not going anywhere." His quiet promise caused my pulse to accelerate slightly as his lips touched the crown of my head. I sighed quietly in response and leaned my head back against his unbreakable shoulder. "So, I've been thinking." He announced suddenly, only the calm and casual tone of his voice kept me from tensing up and possibly hurting myself. "Remember how we sort of agreed that we wanted forever with each other?" When I nodded, he lifted me again, easily as always for him, and pulled me over his lap. I immediately folded into the new position, tucking my head underneath his chin as my shoulder curved underneath his. His cold body heat mixed enticingly with his sweet scent and created a second blanket around me, causing me to smile unconsciously as I waited for whatever else he was about to say. "If you could have anything in this world, what would it be, Houston?"

His question caught me offguard and my face betrayed me as I leaned up carefully to look at him clearly. I recognized the look on my face through the reflection of his butterscotch eyes and shrugged one shoulder as I forced my face into composure. "You."

A noise that sounded like impatience riddled his throat as he shook his head and lightly glided one hand over my blanket-covered back. "You already have me, you've had me completely and utterly bound to you for a long time. What else, though? Isn't there one thing that you've always wanted but never thought you could have?"

My lips parted slightly and I could only look up at him in blank confusion as I mulled over his question. One thing that I wanted, but never thought I could have? I'd never really sat down and made a list of hopes and dreams. Losing my mother at an early age, then being shuffled around as much as I had, kind of knocked the dreamer right out of me. But I knew one thing, a deep secret that I'd never even let myself in on. "I'd want to die on my own terms."

"What?!" Edward tensed visibly underneath me, but really. He had to of seen that one coming! It was probably morbid and the worst possible answer I could give him, but he'd asked.

I shied away from him slightly, still being mindful of my limitations but curled back up against him once I'd seen the final trace of momentary discontent leave his eyes. "I know it's probably morbid but really!" I sighed and tucked my head underneath his cold chin again. "I've known how I was going to die since the age of fourteen. It's how my mother died and I didn't bother trying to delude myself into thinking I could escape her fate. It was pushed down my throat by countless doctors and foster parents. When I was sixteen, I'd gotten so ill that the people I was living with made me get a living will and write out funeral arrangements. I became the only kid in my town that had to carry that around in my backpack, in case..." He tensed again and I forced myself to stop talking about death and having to face it on a daily basis. But that didn't ebb the morbid curiosity that suddenly engulfed me. "Do you ever regret Carlisle saving you?"

"No." The sigh of his answer told me that he believed his answer, for the most part. But there was something else brewing deep under the surface. "But I never got a choice. For all intents and purposes, I was already dead when Carlisle turned me. I don't remember much of my human life, the transformation has overshadowed it all, but I know my parents were dead. There was no one to miss me. But I had no idea what I was in store for, Houston. I had no idea how unmanageable the thirst would be, but I did get lucky. Carlisle is probably the most compassionate person I've ever come across and if anyone else had changed me? I honestly don't think I could've developed a conscious."

"Will you tell me about it?" I asked suddenly, but didn't allow my voice to rise much higher than a strong whisper. It was almost as if I was afraid that if I showed too much enthusiasm about his past, then he'd shut down.

But when I felt the low rumbling of his chest vibrating against my arm with a sigh, I relaxed in relief and unconsciously settled in to hear him talk. "I can thankfully say that I've never killed an innocent person. I've killed, probably more than anyone else in my family with the exception of Jasper. His beginnings are vastly different from mine, but I'm the same monster he is. The same monster we all are. Carlisle likes to think that we're somehow atoning for our damnation by obstaining from taking human life, but I can't say that I share his sentiment."

"What do you mean? You don't share his sentiment?" I asked quietly and forced my head back up so that I could look at him clearly without having to twist in an odd angle. "Edward, I know you see yourself as some sort of monster, but trust me when I say that you aren't." My voice faltered when he started to glare at me, forcing my heartrate up yet again then sat up enough to start backtracking enough to smooth his features back into the calm, de-stressed expression I liked the most. "I'm not saying you aren't dangerous. You proved that to me very clearly, but I'm just saying that you're way too hard on yourself. If you were the monster that you think you are, then there's no way you could've stopped yourself from killing me. The vampire would have taken over completely and made you unable to push me away. You also would've had a completely different record than the one you do. If you were as...deadly as you think you are, then you would've killed innocent people."

"It's not that cut and dry, Houston." Edward sighed and turned his face away from mine. It hurt to have him pull away from me and dismiss my words the way he was, but I could understand why he did it. The distain for himself and what he was ran too deep.

Even though I was sure that he'd made peace with who he was long before I'd come into his life, I could feel the distinct wish he silently held that he wanted nothing more than to be anything other than what he was. I twisted as carefully as I could so that I could take his face in my hands. He allowed me to guide his eyes back to mine, and I was momentarily taken back by the beauty of his features. That would never dull over time, I was sure of it. But I found my resolve and sighed quietly as I forced my voice to cooperate. "It _is_ that cut and dry, Edward. For me, looking at you now and sitting with you the way I am, it is easy for me to see things that way. I can't say this with absolute certainty because I didn't know you in your human form. I didn't know what you were like when your heart still beat and your skin held the warmth that mine sometimes does. But I do know that you're nothing like the monster you've built up in your mind. I know this because I've _seen_ monstrocity. And it was all in human form. Human beings that wanted nothing but destruction and dispair to fall in their wake. I'll never be able to forget about the man I lived with that would've rather beat his wife and children into the ground than enjoy the unshakable love that kept his wife by his side. Even when he made her scream in agony and beg for death, she never wavered. I saw a true monster when he turned on me and began to beat me regularly. And it was always for the most stupid reasons. I looked at him wrong or my shirt was laying against my body wrong. I never had my room cleaned up enough for his liking and I was never silent enough for his pleasure. People like that, who love to hear the screams of their victims, _they're_ the true monsters. They're the ones that lost their souls and humanity so completely that they'll never be able to get it back. But you?" My voice faded into a breathless whisper as I focused on him clearly again, ignoring the sudden pooling of tears in my eyes. "You aren't going to believe a single word I say next, but I have to tell you. I'd do anything for you to see yourself the way I do. You're the kindest person I've ever met in my life, Edward, and I've met a lot of destroyed people. I consider myself one too because of it. But even with the way your life's turned out, you're more human to me than anyone else in my world. You and your family. You couldn't be more human _to_ me than if your hearts started to beat again."

Edward's expression gave nothing away once I'd stopped talking, but I saw something new in his features. I'd never really thought that I could render Edward Cullen speechless, make him unable to forumlate a convincing reply in the mind that'd only been sharpened and heightened with years of immort knowledge. But as he sat there, serving as my own personal chair, he was completely at a loss. I felt oddly powerful in a way, but that faded into the back of my mind when his arm suddenly tightened against my back. His lips were on mine in a silent rush of urgency that I hadn't been expecting. My body reacted in eager, desperation as I molded my lips against his, keeping my hands firmly sprayed against his cold cheeks. Even when I felt my lungs began to burn for air, I didn't pull away from him. The only outward impatience I felt came from my own form when I started to fidget slightly underneath him. He released me then and our breathing came in spastic gasps as he stared into my eyes yet again. "I'm not deserving of someone like you. I'm convinced of that now."

Breathing a quiet laugh, I just rolled my eyes then leaned into him yet again. "Again, your self-deprication is totally unhealthy."

A ghost of a laugh vibrated from him, rocking my smaller frame slightly as his arms tightened around me again, one against the bottom of my ribcage while the other wound around my shoulders and held me against him. I didn't shy away from him or even think about pulling away as the silence settled between us. It was comfortable, an easy silence that I'd never really had with anyone other than him. I didn't feel the need to suddenly start blabbering on about unimportant topics. The silence could stay, it could linger as long as it wanted. So long as Edward kept me as close as he was right then. But just as my eyes fluttered closed and my breathing pattern adjusted to meet his unnecessary movements, his voice broke the silence easily. "I just realized that I've never asked you what your full name is. Or how you were named Houston."

"It's an odd name, I know." I laughed quietly, still feeling at ease as I tilted my head back enough to press a light kiss to Edward's stone throat. Keeping my forehead against the cold marble expansion of skin, I sighed happily. "My mom named me after my birthplace. She said that was the only place she ever felt safe after she left my father. She wanted me to have a name that reflected that safety. We changed my last name from Sherwood to Morgan when I was seven, and my middle name's Elizabeth."

"What?" The quiet wonder in his voice made a chill spiral jaggedly down my spine and even caused me to sit up enough to look at him. His expression was amused when my eyes met his. "Your middle name is Elizabeth?"

"Yeah." I replied, sounding as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Don't tell me you're going to start laughing at my name. So I'm Houston Elizabeth Morgan, so what?"

"I'm not going to laugh." He grinned at me again, that crooked smile that rendered me incoherent. "It's just...that was my mother's name. Elizabeth Masen."

"Was that your human last name?" I asked eagerly, suddenly very thirsty again for whatever piece of information I could pull from him.

"It was." The grin on his face remained intact as he nodded then gently swept his fingers over my cheekbone. "I was Edward Anthony Masen. Now, I'm Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

"Wow." I blinked and jokingly wrinkled my nose ever so slightly. "Talk about a mouthful."

He laughed his quiet, velvety laugh and my insides promptly turned spongy as a result. But suddenly, he grew serious and my heart made that familiar leap up into my throat. "What would you do if I asked you to consider changing your last name?"

"Depends on what name I'm considering." The joke of an answer left my lips before I had a sliver of hope in stopping it. But the look on his face made it impossible for me to laugh, instead I just sat there looking at him skeptically.

Even though his expression didn't waver, his lips did twitch ever so slightly. But the smile never fully made it to his face. "I'd ask you to consider my last name. The Cullen name."

"Be serious." My voice deadpanned as I continued to stare at him, vaguely wondering if my expression was anywhere near the stony seriousness that his looked carved from.

"I am."

I stayed perfectly still against him then started to laugh. The sound started out quiet at first, but after a few seconds, I was gasping as pain started to sear through my abdomen when the pull of my lungs stretched at my stitches. Even though my sudden bout of hysteria, I could see the hurt flash across his face. That settled me down quicker than anything else he could've done and my face turned apologetic, even though my head was tilted suspiciously. "I...have no idea what to say!"

My ears were met by the laugh I loved the most from him, which seemed strange to me that I had favorites when everything he did just seemed to scream perfection. "You don't have to say anything. It was just a hypothetical question."

"Right." The snort that followed was completely involuntary. He never brought anything up without some sort of reason behind it. Looping my arms around his neck, I leaned over carefully and left a small series of kisses along his jaw. "Being completely serious now, I promise." And I paused long enough to emphasize my words with another kiss to his jaw before I leaned back to stare at him clearly. "If you were to ask me, I would probably do more than consider it."

"That's very good to know." He suddenly explained with a blinding smile that displayed his perfectly straight teeth, then captured my lips with his own in a dizzying kiss before I could even hope to respond.


	23. Chapter 23

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Twenty-Three:**

"Awww Alice, come on!" I blurted out suddenly and grimaced at the tiny vampire standing in front of me. Even though I couldn't really consider her tiny anymore. The passing days hadn't been good to me since my surgery, and Emmett was now on a new kick of comparing us. I was becoming just as tiny as Alice, the only difference being our heights.

The stitches were finally out and I was able to move around now without wincing every single time in pain. At least surface pain. The searing agony inside my body hadn't even dimmed in the slightest and my adamant refusal to get checked out left me without the knowledge of what was going on in my own body. But I already knew the most important thing. My body was already beginning to shut down. I was dying. Things didn't get more clear and final than that. But I played it off to the best of my ability, the mask I wore becoming effortless whenever Edward was around. He hadn't said anything else about my name changing over the past week, but I could see something brewing in his eyes. And the smile on Alice's face had very narrowly given his entire plan away. But I was good! I behaved myself and resisted the urge to grill her for his latest decision, which I knew reflected vividly in her charmed mind.

"Why not, Houston?" She wasn't above begging and I could tell that she'd already started this plan of action. Just by the look on her face. Margie was working more hours now so that she could prepare for my upcoming birthday, the birthday that I was no longer looking forward to. Alice and Edward had become graduates from Forks High School, as well as myself. Even though I wasn't physically present, or able to take my finals; Carlisle had intervined and told the principal that I'd been under strict doctor's orders to stay in bed. The evidence of my two surgeries gave his statement that final sense of proof and my tests had been sent home. Once I'd completed them, my grades had hurriedly been tabulated and I was able to graduate. I was still a little bummed that I couldn't actually walk across the stage, but it marginally helped when I learned that Alice and Edward hadn't been at the ceremony either. All of our diplomas were being mailed to us. "Give me one good reason why I can't help you!"

"Because you like to play dress-up way too much!" I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Now that I was fully back on my feet, Edward had surprised me with the plan of a date. An actual date, just the two of us. He claimed it was because I'd never had a real date before but I knew it was just as much for me as it was for him. That was the only reason why I hadn't instantly shot him down. I couldn't deny him anything, even if it made me feel slightly akward to be such a center of attention.

"I'm just going to do your makeup and give you something to wear! Rosalie's going to do your hair."

"I'm perfectly capable of getting ready for a date!" I wasn't, and Alice knew that. She also knew exactly what Edward had in store for me. Something that put me on edge even more than the simple _idea_ of a date! She continued to pout, and when Edward's other beautiful sister entered the room, she joined in on the guilt trip. Finally, I threw my hands up in exasperation and caved. But only after they promised that the makeup would be kept light and no major styling products were going into my hair.

It felt like forever that I was at their mercy. The girls flew around me with such a graceful flurry that I had no idea what they were doing until they were done and Alice decided that it was time for me to get dressed. I had to be careful in moving since my lower body was still marred by a light coat of gauze, but that was just precaution to keep me from having to worry about an infection setting in this late in the healing process. It had happened once, I knew it could happen again.

Once they were done making me over, I was allowed to look in the mirror and gasped aloud at my reflection in the full-length mirror Alice held in front of me. My body was draped in a feminine, yet light summer dress made of the palest of blue. It contrasted vibrantly with my green eyes, which actually contained some brightness underneath the dark eyeliner and matching eyeshadow that also contrasted with my eyecolor. But that was the only real makeup they'd put on my face, and my hair hung perfectly straight down my back, the length now reaching the middle of my biceps. This was the longest my hair had been in so long that it actually brought tears to my eyes to see myself with such long, healthy and shiny hair.

"No crying!" Alice squeaked and set the mirror aside to grab some tissues from the box she'd dropped on the counter of her bathroom sink. Well...if the room I was standing in could even be considered a bathroom! Like the other rooms in the Cullen house, it was bigger than my bedroom at Margie's.

"Sorry!" I sniffled, in vain, to keep the tears at bay then sighed heavily. "I just haven't had long hair in a really long time. I haven't even looked this normal in about the same amount of time either." Suddenly, two sets of stone arms wound around me, pressing against my waist and shoulders so tightly that I was momentarily unable to breathe. A gasp of pain caused Rosalie, who had her arms around my stomach, to release me; then Alice followed suit. It was time now to put some shoes on and unveil the finished product to Edward. Who I could very clearly hear stirring downstairs in anticipation.

The heels underneath my feet were pretty sturdy, by Alice's standards, held to my snow-white ankles with silver bands that worked well with my now-sparkly silver toes and blue dress. Decending the stairs was a bit of a challenge, even with Edward's sisters acting as barriers in front and behind me. Alice skipped across the first story floor with unconscious grace and my heart seized as I watched her skip lilthly to Jasper's side. He stood in the doorway that led into the vast dining room that was never used, and Edward was by the front door, standing just between the entrance and the platform that held his piano.

Seeing Edward in all of his immortal glory took my breath away as I stepped off the final stair and walked toward him, my heels clattering noisily against the tiled floor with my uneven footsteps. He looked dressed to match me, with dark slacks, boots, and a button down shirt that was a shade darker than my dress. The sleeves were, of course, rolled to his elbows to display his perfect forearms, and his hair was as unruly and beautifully bronze as ever. His eyes were as light as ever, brighter than butterscotch and I was even a little dizzy when I finally came to a stop in front of him. "Verdict?" I muttered and managed a little spin before my arms fell limply to my sides.

"Breath-taking." He announced with my favorite smile curling his lips and leaned down to kiss me quickly before Alice had the chance to push him away. She was so afraid he was going to ruin my makeup! Like I cared.

"Thank you." My cheeks flushed under his attentive stare but I looked away when Esme swept into the room with a small, silver camera in her hands.

"I think the occasion allows me to act like a normal mother." She smiled, warmly at me then her vampire son and held the camera up in front of her. "Just one picture and I'll completely leave you alone to enjoy your evening."

I couldn't begrudge her either, curling my body against Edward's with the biggest smile on my face. The flash went off and I was still seeing spots when Edward led me out into the warm night air. The sun was just setting and I remembered him telling me that twilight was his favorite time of the day. But it was also the most bittersweet time for him as well. He hadn't explained that one.

"So." I spoke quietly, focused more on walking as he led me through the glass to the Volvo that sat waiting. He'd let me in on the planning far enough to tell me that a different car would be used for the occasion, but I was just too in love with his silver Volvo to let him think about using a different car. It felt too attached to our history for me to envison our first date without it. "When she develops that picture, are you going to show up or will I just be hugging myself?"

Edward's laugh was music to my ears as he helped me into the passenger seat, then ghosted around the car and appeared in the driver's seat beside me. "I'll be in the picture too." He grinned and even winked at me as he reached over and linked out hands together. I kept our locked hands resting against my thigh as he started the car then sveltly swerved toward our destination. I had no idea what was going on and feverishly began to wish that I'd at least _tried_ to pump Alice for information. I was just too much of a sucker for Edward's surprise.

The ride to his surprise was made in silence, mostly because I was afraid I would betray myself and ask _him_ where we were going, thus ruining his carefully laid-out plans, but the silence never drifted into tense akwardness. It was almost as if his simple presence prevented such a thing. I noticed the scenery change when we moved from Forks to Port Angeles and my heart wedged up into my throat when he parked the car outside an expensive-looking, yet quaint little Italian restaurant.

"I did some digging." He grinned sheepishly as he helped me out of the car and folded my arm through his. "Margie told me that Italian's your favorite and I instantly thought of this place."

"It's gorgeous." I whispered once we were inside and being escorted to a booth near the back of the restaurant's dining area. It was only when we were seated and alone that I let the rest of my statement hit the air. "But completely unnecessary. Edward, you don't eat."

His grin was smooth as he reached across the table to take my hand once more. It was like any physical separation pained him now, and I couldn't help but be in awe of how effortless it was for him to stand to touch me and be around me now. The human desires and mannerisms were rising to the surface, he'd explained once. But only after I'd asked relentlessly about it. "But you do, and that's what matters." He nodded once then let his eyes darken slightly as he leaned across the table to render me incapacitated. "You deserve the first date of your dreams. Complete with your favorite food. I'm not going to let you miss out on anything, Houston. Not anymore."

I had to force myself to look away when our waitress suddenly appeared. She looked apprehensive about dealing with us but when she saw Edward, she completely forgot that I was there. And that he was holding my hand so obviously against the linen tablecloth. "What can I get you to drink?" She practically purred, which of course, made me want to use one of Alice's very expensive shoes to beat her with.

"Sweet tea." I murmered when Edward looked at me expectantly, then grinned up at her as he recounted both of our drink orders. Once she was gone, I let the dirtiest look I could muster wash over my face as I watched her disappear into the kitchen.

"Jealousy, thy name is Houston Morgan." His velvety laugh pulled me from my angered reviere and I was blushing before I could even feel the heat in my cheeks.  
"Just territorial." I corrected him with a small smile playing on my own lips. "She didn't look the least bit shy as she stood there, undressing you with her eyes."

"You have nothing to worry about." He promised and pulled my hand up to his lips. His kiss was cold, but sent electricity flying through me anyway when he released my arm enough to lay our twined hands back on the table. "I've got the most beautiful woman in here sitting right across from me."

"I love you for your lies." I sighed and let the hint of a teasing smile cross my face before the waitress, who was named Rachel, set our drinks and a basket of bread down before she pulled out a black book to take our orders. Edward surprised me by picking something random off the menu then grinned at me again when it was my turn. I didn't even have to look at the menu to know what I wanted. He'd done his homework, that was obvious. I knew Margie would tell him that my favorite dish was lasagna and that he wouldn't take me to a place that didn't have that very entre on their menus.

"I'm not lying." He countered smoothly once we were alone yet again and grudgingly released my hand so that I could take a breadstick, which was coated in garlic powder and started to nibble on it. I was just glad that my body seemed to be cooperating with me tonight and made food a good idea to me. With my intestines as infected as they were, my appetite was becoming even more of a thing of the past.

"I don't understand why you see me the way I do." I sighed and shrugged a little, stopping my words with a small bite from the warm breadstick in my hand.

The grin never wavered from his face as he watched me attempt to eat. I just hoped he wouldn't see the effort it sometimes took me to accomplish something so simple. "It's all perfectly simple, actually." He breezed, looking completely comfortable as he folded his arms against the table's surface and leaned his upper body toward me slightly. "You're the strongest, bravest woman I've ever met. Cancer's done nothing to limit your physical beauty. In fact, it just makes you even more glorious in my eyes. It brings a fresh sense of strength into your eyes, which I still can't get over. Even after all this time."

"Because they're the same color yours were?" I asked absently and set the bread down so I wouldn't be so full by the time the main course arrived. I'd been smart and completely overlooked the salad option. His lips twitched and he tilted his head slightly in curiosity. No doubt, trying to remember when he'd told me about that.

"Carlisle." I answered for him with a sheepish little smile on my own face. "He came to see me before you did when I had to have surgery. He told me that you and your mother had the brightest green eyes he'd ever seen. They were like emeralds, even when you were sick." I hoped that I wouldn't sadden him by my revelation but he looked unscathed by my statement. So I trudged on, only pausing to taste the tea in front of me and wrinkled my nose slightly. Edward noticed and before he could even ask, I pointed at the glass as I pushed it aside gently. "Not Southern enough for me." I joked. Even though I'd moved around so much over the past eight years of my life, it was my Texas roots that I remembered the most.

His laughter turned my insides to liquid as he shook his head slightly. Even though he was laughing at me, I wasn't the least bit perturbed by it. He could laugh at me all he wanted, so long as he sounded like that when he did. Completely happy and content. "Can I ask you something?" He asked quietly, his voice still holding that melodic core that his laughter did.

"First one's free." I grinned and reached out to curl my hand back into his. I wasn't eating anymore so he didn't need to have his hand so far away.

Edward obliged and linked our fingers together, my own fingers looking short and stubby next to his long, slender digits. "Why did it take you so long to tell me? About your illness."

My pulse quickened and my eyes fell to our linked fingers as my thumb ran gingerly over the smooth skin on the back of his hand. "Because I was scared of how you'd react." I answered honestly. He was always honest in answering my questions, so it was only fair for me to do the same. I looked up at him again and found his bright eyes clouded. I sighed and tightened my hold on his hand as I leaned as close to him as I could given the table and my own possibility of discomfort. "I was scared that you would see me the way everyone else does when they find out about my cancer. I didn't want you to look at me any differently than you were. I...I didn't want to be even more fragile and breakable around you. I liked being able to be normal around you."

"Houston, there's nothing you could tell me that would change how I look at you." His words were so soft and quiet that I was almost sure I was hearing things! But as they resonated through my ears, I was painfully reminded of the dreams that'd plagued me for weeks. "You _do_ believe that, right?"

I nodded and tried, in vain, to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. "I do...now." I murmered, my eyes once again moistening as he continued to hold my gaze. "But at the time? I was too scared of you looking at me in disgust. I used to have dreams about it."

"I know." He sighed and suddenly threw me off with his quiet statement. I nearly groaned in frustration when the waitress chose right then to check on us, focusing all of her attention on Edward before she flounced away from our table. Once she was gone, he noticed the look on my face and quickly explained. "I still watch out for you, Houston. And I hope you aren't mad at me for admitting this but I honestly do love to watch you sleep. Sometimes you talk in your sleep and I was there one night when you seemed to be having one of those dreams."

My cheeks flushed yet again and I couldn't look up from the table. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I'd always seemed to know that he'd kept up with that little habit of his. I didn't feel the least bit annoyed or angry by it, but I did begin to wish that I'd known he would be there while I slept. Maybe it would've made the nightmares easier to get away from. The conversation couldn't go much further than that, Rachel was annoyingly prompt in bringing our food out and I got the distinct impression that she seemed cheered by the looks that'd been on our faces when she appeared at the table. We weren't fighting or anywhere _near_ it, but she was apparently under that misconception. I hadn't really been out in public much with Edward, but as I sat there enjoying my dinner, I was very much aware that this was something I would have to get used to. After all, I wasn't going to be the only person in the world that would be so helplessly captivated by Edward Cullen with just one look.


	24. Chapter 24

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Twenty-Four:**

"Ready for the next part?" Edward's expression had returned to its vibrancy once dinner was paid for, most of his plate going untouched. My own appetite was only marginally better, I hadn't even made a _dent_ in my dinner when my body declared that I was full.

"Where are you taking me now?" The fuax wariness I'd forced into my voice helped in downplaying how anxious his surprise was starting to make me. I had no idea of what to expect, and while that added a new level of excitement I'd never felt before, there was another part of me that was impatiently waiting for everything to just unfold. I wasn't sure if it was my past experiences working, but I couldn't shake the nagging fear that he had ulterior motives. I still wasn't used to someone wanting to do something for me just because it would make them happy to do so.

"It's a surprise." He grinned at me again in a way I suddenly wished would be outlawed, and I became so dizzy that I forgot about questioning him until we were in the car and about halfway to our new destination. The woods stretched out on either side of the road as he continued to drive, his hand once again linked with mine and resting on my thigh as he navigated easily through the dark streets. When he pulled off the highway, into a more wooded area, my heartrate accelerated when I noticed that the Volvo's headlights were the only source of light for miles.

"You're bringing me here to kill and dispose of my body, aren't you?" I jokingly gasped once he stopped the car, relaxing a little more when my joke earned laughter from Edward. He just grinned then winked at me as he moved blindingly fast from the car and had my door open before I realized that he hadn't verbally answered my question. I took his hand and carefully stepped out onto the loose gravel that was sprawled out over the shoulder he'd parked on. But I didn't have to worry about falling as he led me to the grass then stopped and turned around to face me again.

"Hardly, Alice would dismember and torch me herself if something ever happened to you." He grinned at me, clearly amused by the fearful words he'd just used then reached out and pulled me into his arms, holding me bridal style against his granite chest. "I have a few things I want to show you, but because of the way you're dressed, you're going to have to trust me. Can you do that?"

"I already do." I admitted with no hesitation and curled my arms a little tighter around his neck when he turned again and started to walk into the thick set of trees that'd been to his immediate left.

His grin knocked me senseless and I was barely aware that he had said anything; only hearing the distinct command to close my eyes. Once I did that, we were moving at a blinding speed. I didn't dare open my eyes as the wind pushed my hair over his shoulder then behind him, curling the hem of my dress up my thighs then around his arm locked under my knees. I had nothing to fear as he ran through the forest at top speed, only opening my eyes when I felt the wind cease and his movements stopped all together. "How do you feel?" His quiet voice seemed to match the new scenery perfectly as I looked up at him then at the meadow that was suddenly stretched out in front of us. It was perfect in symmetry, sprawling out into the most perfect circle that I'd ever seen before. He gently set me onto my feet once he'd deftly freed my feet from the silver restraints disguized as shoes and slid his hand back into mine.

"Perfect." I murmered as he led me out into the center of the clearing, my eyes sweeping over our dark surroundings. The trees weren't as intimidating to me as they would've been if I was alone here, and I could hear a river bubbling somewhere in the distance. There was also the faint noise of birds chirping from their tree branch posts but that didn't scare me either. I was perfectly safe with Edward in this dark paradise. "What is this place?"

Edward stopped and gently turned me around to face him as he wound his arm around my waist gently. "This is where I come when the weather keeps me from the human world. I found it shortly after we settled in Forks two years ago."

"Oh." I muttered and nodded vaguely as my eyes moved from his eyes to his dark chest. The moon was directly overhead and cast a faint glow over his features, illuminating his prominant features and the clear buttons that held his shirt against his body. "This is very beautiful." I breathed and looked around again, not being able to formulate a clear picture of how this place would look in daylight. When Edward would come here so he wouldn't be inhibited by my world. He could be as free as he wanted in this tree-enclosed space, enjoy the sun just as I would on those rare days of warming rays.

"I was hoping you would think so." The moonlight caught him just right and my breath vanished as I took in his sparkling eyes and dazzling teeth. Again, his movements were free as he let my shoes drop to the grass beneath us, but moved slow as he kept my hand in his and sank to one knee.

"Edward...?" I breathed, more unable to breathe now than any other time before as I stared at him in wide-eyed shock. He would be able to see my surprise clearly with his inhuman eyes and a familiar blush crept into my cheeks, staining them like no blusher could.

"Houston Elizabeth Morgan," His voice drifted into the harmonious velvet that always made me putty in his hands, his dark eyes staring imploringly into mine. "I could love you enough to span a million immortal lifetimes. I know this is sudden, and I know that things are still new for us. But please, let me give you the one thing that's in my power to give. Make me as happy as I hope I make you and agree to be my wife. Marry me?"

I had no idea where the ring had even come from. I was too transfixed on his face to see him reach into his pocket and retrieve the black, satin box that lay in his open palm. The latch had been removed with a simple flick of his thumb and the top fell open to allow the ring catch the moonlight fully. There, in the folds of satin, rested the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen before in my life. The band was delicate, narrow, and silver with three square-cut shapes embedded in the band. The diamond in the middle was slightly larger and stood out vibrantly against the smaller emeralds that had been set against it. My lungs felt like they were on the verge of collapsing as I stared helplessly at the ring. I'd only dreamed about a moment like this once, when no other hope or wish had been able to calm me during the darkest of my sick days. It was in that night that I feverishly wished for something like this to happen. I had momentarily grasped the impossible hope that I would someday have this. And now, here it was. Edward was kneeling in front of me, with the most exquisite ring I'd ever seen in my life. He wanted me forever. I couldn't be sure right then if it was just the limited, human forever, or if he hoped to grant my secret wish and allow my heart to stop beating on my own terms. I risked a glance up at his beautiful face and felt my heart nearly seize in my chest when I saw the agony etched across his features. He was waiting patiently for my answer, but the longer I took to answer, the more hopeless he stared up at me. It was almost as if he expected me to say no. As if he was waiting on me to find the nonexistant, inner strength to refuse him. I couldn't, I'd never and would never be able to accomplish that. My answer came in a breathless rush, my free hand clutching at my throat as if my fingers were going to claw at my vocal chords if I wasn't loud enough. "Yes."

I knew he would hear me and when that painfully perfect grin erased his previous state of agony, I was confirmed in my assertion. The ring was slipped onto the third finger of my left hand slowly, almost as if he was drawing it out for my sake. So that my human eyes could drink in every single, perfect moment he was creating just for me. "I love you." He whispered when he was back on his feet, box tucked back into his pocket, then he pulled me into his arms. There was a new sense of urgency in his kiss now as he held me protectively to his chest. My lips molded, with their own accord, against his and my fingers slid slowly through his wind-tousled hair. Even when we were forced to pull away, me so that I could breathe, and so that Edward could maintain his self-restraint, I'd never known a more perfect moment in my life than the one I was in right then. I'd also never known love like the waves I felt crashing into me from Edward's stone frame. I was almost afraid that the power of it all, his love for me, mine for him and the weight of this moment, would drown me but as I clung to him in the moonlit perfection of his favorite meadow, my face hidden in his neck as tears broke freely to the surface, I'd also never felt more anchored than I did right then. Edward was giving me more than he probably realized. He was giving me the future I thought I'd lost at the tender age of nine.

Once we got back to the house, Alice having already called Margie to let her know that I would be staying over again, celebrations rang throughout the mansion. Alice and Esme were the first to sweep me up into their arms and I didn't even feel the pain when their iron grip restricted my air supply. I could vaguely hear Emmett and Jasper congratuate their brother behind me as the women in his life fussed over the ring on my finger.

"It's gorgeous!" Rosalie breathed, clearly jealous of the ring that Edward had painstakingly searched for. Alice had been the one to fill me in on that. He'd even left the _country_ in his search, having found this ring in a small boutique in northern Europe. My head was spinning and I laughed loudly when a new set of arms suddenly closed around me and lifted my still-bare feet off the ground. Emmett's rumbling laugh pushed my hair against my ear and vibrated against my back as he twirled me around and welcomed me into the family. But fear settled in when he set me back down and I looked over at Carlisle, Esme now at his side so she could watch her children celebrate the new arrival. Me.

The fear had completely taken over when I turned to look at Edward again, my only thoughts centering on the ticking clock that was my body. He noticed and responded almost immediately, appearing at my side before I could move a single muscle. "I can't." I breathed and looked up at him again as tears streaked down my face for the second time that night.

"What?" The grin that'd been cemented on his face since I'd agreed to his proposal wavered and he quickly looked at his parents before focusing on me again. "Houston, what do you mean? What can't you do?"

"This." I muttered weakly and waved my left hand, not even caring if it actually hit the light. I knew it would in the brightly lit living room. "I can't make you a husband and a widower."

"My love." His breath swirled through my senses immediately and I was back in his arms before I was sure of what was happening. I clamped my arms around his neck when his mouth lightly kissed my earlobe, just inches from the scar that our first moment of closeness had created. "I meant it when I said forever."

Now it was my turn to misunderstand. I jerked away from him with wild confusion in my eyes, and could easily feel six sets of worried stares on my back. "I don't understand, Edward. You only asked me to marry you."

"Yes." He sighed, his tone urgent but not frustrated as he took my face into his hands. "You told me that you wanted to stop your heart on your own terms, Houston. There's only one possible way I can think of to give you what you want. It may be extremely selfish for me to go about things this way, but it feels...proper to me. I'm not so inhuman that I can ignore the lessons of my human life. I want you to become my bride, to let me be your husband for the rest of your human days before you make that final transition into our family."

Uncertainty gripped me a little tighter when the reminder of Edward's family standing behind me crashed into me. I gently pulled his hands from my face and turned to face them again, completely unsure of how I looked right then. No doubt, the carefully applied mascara was smudged under my eyes, but I didn't care. Edward's words and the promise I was making outweighed how I looked right then. "Is this...I mean, this includes you all in my decision."

Carlisle looked like the second, Alice being first, to understand what I was trying to get at and gave me a gentle smile as he came to join me and Edward in the center of the room. "Houston, Edward asked our opinions before he gave you that ring. It was our opinions that helped him decide on whether or not to follow through with his plan."

"Of course we want you in our family." I jerked back like I'd just been shocked when Rosalie was the one to tell me what I was desperately hoping to hear. Alice joined in then, a bright grin on her pixie face.

"Why do you think we went so crazy over the ring? We all thought you knew what you were agreeing to."

Esme lightly slapped her son's stone shoulder as she glided up beside her husband. "You're already family, Houston. You're just as much my child as Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward are. All that's left is that final step. It's a major step and you will probably need time to make a decision about that. But you are very much wanted by this family."

"Yeah!" Emmett's jocular tone broke through and eased away some of the tension that held my body in a vice. "What she said! You really think we were going to throw a wrench in Edward's idea of giving you both a future? Hardly! You're family, girl. We aren't letting you go without a hell of a fight." One quick glance to my right showed Jasper's agreement with his brother's words.

I laughed shakily then tilted my head back toward the most beautiful of the faces staring at me intently. "Are you sure?"

"More sure than I've ever been about anything in my life." He whispered with quiet determination.

I nodded numbly and looked back down at the ring that glittered violently against my translucent skin. This was my chance at forever. My knight in shining armor had come for me after all, offering me every single thing I'd refused to hope for. All I had to do was take it and hold on with both hands. "I don't need time." I sighed and didn't even bother to wipe away the fresh wave of tears as I looked up to meet every single gaze of my new family before I looked up at Edward again. "I've never wanted anything more than I want eternity with you."


	25. Chapter 25

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Twenty-Five:**

I could not stop staring at my left hand. Even in the dim light of Edward's bedroom, with the moon casting in just as much light as there'd been in the meadow, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the glittering gems.

Quiet laughter filtered into my left ear and tore my gaze away from what I could only think of as my engagement ring. Edward lay beside me on his wide couch, on his side with his icy arm acting as my pillow.

"What?" I laughed lightly, failing miserably at sounding as enchanting as he did and tilted my head carefully to look up at him. "Why're you laughing at me?"

"You keep checking your hand." His teeth flashed in the dim light and sent a shock racing through my system. "It's almost as if you're afraid it's going to disappear or something."

"I am!" I blurted out suddenly then laughed again and turned to hide my face in his chest. His arms wound around me easily, pulling my body flush up against his as his lips buried in my hair.

"It's not going anywhere." He practically breathed into my hair as his hands moved languidly across my back. Every few seconds, his fingers would slide over my bare skin and more chills shot through me as a result. "I'm not going anywhere either."

"Not if I have anything to say about it." I exhaled dizzily against his chest and pouted a little when I was moving again.

Once I was laying on my back once more, he curled over me slightly with a tiny grin playing on his immaculate features as his hand cupped my cheek gently. "You're my life, Houston. That ring on your finger confirms it, but I don't want you to think that this is the only option for you. Even though I'm willing to give you this, I still can't help but worry about what it's going to cost you."

There it was. His belief that turning immortal was going to cost me my soul. I sighed heavily and frowned up at his heart-wrenching expression, reaching up to hold his face with one of my hands. "You know you don't want to get me started on the subject of your humanity, so put that card away now." I couldn't resist the small, joking tone but grew somber as I pulled my hand from his cheek and laid it over the back of his hand, which was still molded into my cheek. "This is the only way we can be together. I don't want to be changed because I'm scared of dying, Edward. Cancer forced fear from my life a long time ago. Changing and truly joining your family is something I want because I want _you_. I want to be with you for the rest of eternity and I love your family almost as much as I love you. I'm not looking at this as a solution to dying. While I am excited for a future that doesn't have me imprisoned in a ravaged body, I'm more excited about getting to keep loving you. That's what I want most out of all this. I want to be able to hold onto your heart for the rest of our unnatural lives, and I want you to carry my heart with you for that same amount of time."

"You have no idea how perfect that sounds." He breathed and grinned brightly at me. I could barely catch my breath from the grin when he leaned down and suddenly kissed me. But before our lips could pull us from the careful control he kept our relationship in, he was looking at me again with his fingertips grazing my cheekbone. "I don't want to throw you but I've been curious." He muttered and looked down, finally pulling his hand from my face to take the fingers of my left hand into his cold grip. "What happened to the ring you used to wear?"

"I put it up." He'd graciously given me enough time to pull myself back into the conversation as my eyes drifted to the glittering stones and white gold that seemed to brighten the skin around it. Until now, I hadn't even known that he actually _knew_ about the simple band I used to wear. "It was a ring my mother bought after she left my father. At first, she only wore it because she didn't want to have to deal with men hitting on her." I smiled faintly at the beautiful memory of my mother's appearance. Years couldn't dim that image and I feverishly hoped that it was a memory I would be able to hold on once I'd become immortal. "She was so beautiful, even after she got sick, I would tease her that she had men lining up to ask her out."

"Like mother, like daughter." Edward's quiet musing fluttered my heart and I rolled my eyes involuntarily. I was about to protest when his lips captured mine again just long enough to confuse me.

I grunted in impatience and jokingly pushed him away with a smile on my face. "I'm talking about my mom, this doesn't happen very often and you wanted to know about the ring I used to wear. So stop trying to distract me, do that later." His quiet laugh turned my insides spongy and I quickly stuck my tongue out at him before forcing myself to continue. "She later turned it into an outward sign of some promise she made. But I never got to find out that promise. She always said that she would tell me when I turned sixteen but..."

"Maybe she wore it as a devotion to her daughter." He surmised and his words filled me with a sudden stranglehold of hope. Maybe that _had_ been her reasoning behind it. It was an idea that I thrilled at vigerously. "What was her name?"

"Angela." I smiled as I said her name, lifting my eyes so he could see the grin fill my eyes. "Angela Elizabeth Morgan. She wanted to start her own tradition with me when I was born. I'm the third generation of Morgan women with that middle name." I revealed and didn't bother to repress the sudden giggle that filled my throat. "You ever think that maybe it was fate that brought us together? Like, maybe I was _made_ just for you?"

"Why do you say that?" Even though he was asking me that question, I could still see the familiar tightening of his eyes and lips as he mulled over what I'd just said. Maybe it _was_ fate that had brought us together. The coincidences were just too overpowering to ignore. Had the supernatural part of his being not taken over, we would've had the exact same eyecolor. Even though I was convinced he would look so much better with the eyecolor than I did, it still filled me with a strange sense of rightness. Like history had mapped out our exact courses. Carlisle had saved him so that he could enter a new life and end up saving _me._

I ended up shrugging as I turned carefully onto my side to face him, sliding my arm over his cold waist as I leaned up on my other elbow. This position would hurt after a few minutes, I was absolutely sure of that, but right then I didn't care. "There are too many coincidences for me to believe that this was just a random, chance happening." I replied, surprised that my voice had dipped into the quiet tone that it had. "I never dreamed that someone like you existed. Not just the things I fell in love with. Not the way you smile at me when you think I'm not looking, or the way your eyes light up when you figure something out before I even know what's going on. Think about it, it all seemed to start when you let me see who you really are."

That time I got a better reaction from him. At first it was confusion, clear and utter confusion before it faded into the thoughtful expression that always made me fall silent and watch him work through whatever was going through his mind. "You're right." He breathed then looked up at me as his eyes flashed in the recognition I'd just mentioned. "I've always been wondering how you could've been so accepting of our lifestyle. Why the true nature of me and my family hasn't scared you once. You've never consciously run from that, not even when I almost..."

For once, I was faster than him. My lips blended against his icy, immobile lips before he could finish his last statement. I knew this action would backfire and when he automatically responded to me by parting my lips against his own so he could carefully trap my lower lip between his, I wasn't the least bit surprised when my head started to swim. Because I was so distracted by him, I just sighed against his lips as he carefully pulled me tighter up against his body. With the way we were laying now, I could easily feel every single plane of his statuesque form against my flushing skin. I didn't resist when he shifted and pulled me on top of him, his back hitting the couch with the most silent of thuds. Bracing myself on my hands, I gasped for air and kept my eyes shut when he released my mouth and started to rain kisses down my jaw, then along the bone trail that my tilted head created against my neck.

I wasn't fearful of him losing control as he continued to kiss as much of my exposed skin as he could, and I willingly moved when he shifted again. Suddenly, I was the one with my back pressing into the cold leather underneath me, with his body still pressed against me. Even though I felt absolutely none of his weight, I could feel the artic draft emanating from his body and into mine. I sighed again and leaned my cheek against my shoulder as his lips moved lower, now gliding over my collarbone then across the flat plane of my upper chest. Against my better judgement, I hooked my thigh against his hip, molding my leg through the curve of his as his hand once again began to slide over my side. It was almost as if he knew where my bare skin was without even looking and his cold touch against the side of my stomach, fingers disappearing underneath the hem of my tank top, the heat swelling through my body ignited furiously. I'd never felt like this with anyone before, never wanted to just...lose myself the way I wanted to lose myself with him. But it was something I knew couldn't happen. After all, I was still recovering from surgery, damn doctors and their rules. And second? I knew that he wouldn't let things get that far.

So when he stopped at the swell of my breasts and laid his head on my chest, right over the source of my heartbeat, I sighed heavily and slid my hands up the back of his shirt. As uncomfortable as my body suddenly felt, there was no real way I wanted to move right then. What little weight he was allowing to cover my body felt like the most perfect kind of heaven, and I idly began to wonder what things would be like when my body was less breakable. Would we be able to do more? Would he no longer be afraid that he would hurt me with what was supposed to be the simplest of touches?

"I'm going to miss this." He sighed and turned his face into my chest more. I managed to surpress the small giggle that formed when his nose glided over my still over-heated skin, tickling the area and let out a low breath.

"Are you..." Suddenly, words seemed to stick in my throat as my right hand moved and began to play with his tousled hair. Mentally kicking myself, I just sighed and looked up at him when he leaned back to look at me, my hand managing to stay in place against the back of his skull. "Are you going to hate it when my heart doesn't beat anymore?"

"Of course not." The words were a breathless whisper as his breath washed over my face. I closed my eyes long enough to savor the taste that always formed on my tongue then forced them open when his fingers smoothed over my cheek. "Yes, I'm going to miss listening to your heart beat. I'm going to miss a lot about your human characteristics." He smiled suddenly and I felt that rush of blood fill my face. Of course, Edward chuckled then leaned down and kissed both of my cheeks before he laid his cheek against my chest once more. My fingers picked up their previous habit of gliding through the bronze strands of hair, and I waited in unconscious anxiety for him to go on. "But I'm going to love what I...what we get in return."

If I'd been able to look at him, I was sure that he would be wearing my favorite grin on his angelic features. "What's it going to be like?" I asked quietly and tried, in vain, to keep the fear from leaking through my words.

I didn't succeed and we were moving again before I even felt him leave my body. I curled up against his cold chest almost automatically as he pulled me into his arms and buried his lips in my tangled, brown hair. "The first few years are probably going to be your toughest. As a newborn, it'll be extremely difficult for you to control your thirst. You won't be able to be around people, humans especially. Everything's going to be different for you. Every single one of your senses will be heightened and you'll be able to see things that you never really saw before."

"And you still won't be able to hear my thoughts." I surmised, honestly not sure where that had exactly come from. I knew it was difficult for Edward, not having his gift work on me. But then I began to wonder what _my_ gift would be. Esme had the power to love so passionately that it turned even the truest of human loves into a joke. Alice had her visions of the future, and Jasper could manipulate the emotions in a room. Carlisle's abstinence from human blood was very clearly his gift and Rosalie...well, she was dangerously beautiful. I could only guess that had ended up being her gift into this life. But the more I learned about Rosalie, the more I ended up liking her. And vice versa. She had claimed, not too long ago, that it felt refreshing to have someone in the house that knew as much about the mechanics of a car as she did. No doubt, once I was turned, I would become her buddy in that area. Emmett was a great companion, her preferred company whenever she had to work on a car. But she had always, unconsciously, wished for someone who could help her whenever she seemed unable to figure out a car problem.

Of course, my love of cars appeased Edward greatly as well. While Rosalie exceeled him in her knowledge of workings _under_ the hood, he was still an avid fan of automobiles. Just hours before, I'd had to shut down a conversation that consisted of him asking me what kind of car I would love to have, if I could have anything. He'd been hinting at something and I could only guess that it was his desire to buy me a car of my very own.

"I still know what you're thinking sometimes." His quiet, soothing voice pulled me from my drifting thoughts gently and I snuggled against his chest even more, my face hidden in the soft folds of his tee shirt as he wrapped the blanket that had fallen around my waist, around me more securely. "I've gotten quite good at reading your facial expressions."

"Oh yeah?" I looked up suddenly, adamantly determined to at least try and prove him wrong. But the more generous side of my head won out and I would only end up proving him right. So I just stared up at him, letting my eyes shine with all the love that filled my body. All for him, with the rest of my expression under tight control. "What am I thinking right now?"

His eyes burned into me for a few, short seconds; then a bright grin stretched his features as he leaned down and gently touched my lips with his. "I love you, too."


	26. Chapter 26

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six:**

Even after the extremely emotional, yet perfect day, my dreams that night were darker and more vivid than I remembered. The surroundings that filled my subconscious were just as dark as Edward's bedroom had been when I finally fell asleep, but there was a harsher undertone here than what I'd felt in my waking hours. I also couldn't feel Edward's cold embrace in the deep shadows of my dream.

Visions and images swirled around me, almost as if I was standing in the middle of a dark clearing; imagining that the boogyman was going to pop out and scare me silly. But then things changed and I found myself standing in the middle of a crowded hospital. It was the ER, I could tell just from the rows of cots and pastel-patterned curtains that hinted at privacy. There was no such thing in a crowded emergency room. I didn't even try to resist as my bare feet began to move and I didn't even glance down when I felt a satiny rustle of fabric against my legs. I didn't realize I was even holding my breath until I reached my unknown destination.

The girl in the bed before me was skin and bones. Her cheeks had sunken in and the most dominant feature on her face now was her jaw and cheekbones. Her eyes were closed, framed by dark circles with limp, dark hair clinging to the sides and back of her skull. I didn't have to reach out and touch her to know that her hair was damp with sweat or that her touch might be cold. The lips, flawed but still full held the lightest shade of blue, but were distorted around a tube covered with medical tape. The thing that horrified me the most was that this tube no longer connected her to any type of machinery. Nor did the needles still taped to her arms. The electrodes that peeked out underneath her hospital gown were also disconnected, her chest no longer rising and falling with breath. But when I glanced down at her left hand, my heart lodged mercilessly in my throat. There, on the third finger of her left hand, was the beautiful three-stoned ring that Edward had presented me with just hours before. Only, there was no accompanying wedding band.

But none of that compared to the pain I suddenly felt when I realized that the girl lying in the bed was _me. _That was bareable in lieu of the angel face that was resting against the edge of her pillow. If it were possible, I would've been sure that he was crying. Even though it was impossible, I still had the overwhelming thought that a scene like this would have made my angel capable of human tears. I slowly walked around to the other side of the bed and peered down, wanting and desperately needing a better look at his face. He was, of course, immobile with dark eyes never once leaving the pale skin that had creased into the woman's final expression. I simply didn't have it in me to admit that this woman was still me. Even with the engagement ring and the beautiful creature sitting like a statue at her side.

The dream continued and I looked up with a gasp when Carlisle stoically entered the room. Suddenly I wanted to start screaming. Why hadn't they saved her? Her heart had obviously stopped beating, but why had they brought her here to die? Why did they continue with the human charade of hooking her to machines and prolonging her life instead of fulfilling the one wish she'd wanted most?!

I looked at her again and noticed that there were no bite marks, no traces of blood escaping her cancer-stricken body. They hadn't even raised a finger to propel her into immortality. They'd simply...let her waste away. Before I could make any more sense of the immortal faces in front of me, a new person entered the room. A man that I'd never seen before, but I was absolutely sure of. I knew this man, even if I'd never seen him before now...

I was gasping for air when I jerked awake, thankfully swallowing back a shallow cry of pain when my body forced me into an upright position. My heart pounded violently in my ears and no matter how many times I blinked, I could not get the image of that girl out of my head. Her distorted face, her tiny body which looked even more breakable beneath a mound of hospital blankets. They hadn't saved her... Or worse yet, they hadn't saved _me._

Edward's arms wound around me tightly just seconds after I jerked awake and I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks as his lips gently touched my ear. "You're safe." He crooned, his voice like melting honey. "It was just a dream."

Words were beyond me, so far gone that I wasn't even sure I could fully remember how to speak. Instead, I just turned and blindly reached out for him. I was dimly aware that he'd shifted sometime in the night, sitting up against the arm of the couch while I slumbered with my head resting against his stomach. The blanket that had been wrapped around me now felt like I was being suffocated and I futily kicked the ends loose. I didn't get very far and a small whimper from the back of my throat had Edward reaching out quickly to wrench the fabric away from me so I could move however I wanted. "It felt so real."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" His voice was still a quiet melody as I settled back against him, my head now higher up on his body as I clenched my eyes shut. Even though I felt like I was stifling, I had no idea what temperature my actual skin had taken on. How did I suddenly feel against Edward's eternally cold body? That question just pushed a million more, all stemming from my disturbing nightmare, into the forefront and a small noise filled my throat as I tried to block it out with no avail.

"You didn't save me." I whispered in a broken cry, still breathless from no doubt crying in my sleep. It was strangely tougher for me to regain my breath now than it had been just hours before when I'd laid here underneath him, kissing him until I was dizzy and lacking oxygen.

"What?" His voice rose an octave, but he did his best to hide the undercurrent of anger. It was only because I knew him so well, that I heard the subtle hint. "What didn't I save you from, Houston?"

"Everything." While I hadn't fully intended on telling Edward about my dream, I did with one simple word. Even with the plans we were making, the promises he'd given me just hours ago, I still felt a painful pang of fear that things just weren't going to work out in our favor. He didn't say anything after my answer, only holding me close as his hands slid through my hair. I could tell that he was trying to soothe me, to silently confirm that my nightmares were just that, and I finally relented when he began to hum an unfamiliar melody under his breath. I was too tired to fight against the unconsciousness starting to swirl around me again. It was overpowering, even with my adamant desire to hold everything back out of fear that my dreams would start up right where they'd left off. But when I closed my eyes again and fell asleep, I was thankfully met by nothingness.

* * *

The sunlight was the first thing I noticed when I woke up again, Edward's stone arms still drawn protectively around me. It was his embrace, the mere presence of his cold body against mine, and his scent filling my senses, that kept the nightmares at bay long enough for my tired body to draw in at least a couple hours' sleep. I wasn't as disoriented this time as I slowly opened my eyes and buried my face in the front of his shirt to keep the rare rays of sunlight out of my eyes.

"Any more nightmares?" His beautiful voice had been waiting for me and one look into his eyes gave away his unabashed concern that I would wake again with another fitful dream in the forefront of my mind.

"Thankfully no." I sighed and stretched my legs out slowly. I was suddenly unaware of how long I'd slept. My entire body felt stiff and I hadn't moved even an inch in my sleep. That was very rare for me, I usually tossed and turned until I found a position that wouldn't cause me any discomfort or pain. But again, my angel had provided me with enough love that I could be normal. At least for a little while. "How long have I been out?" I sighed and stretched again, this time sliding onto my back as one arm moved to shield my eyes.

He chuckled quietly and reached out to push stray hairs off my forehead. That pulled my arm away so that I could look up at him again. "About fourteen hours. Once you were out, you were _out._ I didn't want to move you."

"You could have." I grumbled and wrinkled my nose slightly, suddenly hating the fact that he'd willingly stayed still that long just so I could sleep dreamlessly. While I was grateful for it, I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed at myself. Obviously I couldn't sleep without him anymore.

"I was comfortable right where I was." He grinned down at me, his teeth flashing vibrantly from the natural light streaming in, then leaned down and gently kissed my forehead on his way to climb to his feet. "It's merely habit for me now, moving every once in a while. I have no problem staying still as long as I need to."

My nose stayed scrunched up as I watched him pretend to stretch dramatically then stride over to his vast closet. I didn't bother to close or even cover my eyes now as I lay curled up on the side I'd neglected in my sleep, as I watched him replace rumpled clothes for a fresh white, button-down shirt and khakis. He never ceased to amaze me in his immaculate perfection. I climbed to my own feet, fighting back dizziness as I started to gather up some clean clothes for myself. Even though I was lacking in the balance department, everything else seemed managable. I wanted to get out for a little while and the snap decision I'd made in the few hours of consciousness was right back in my mind. I wanted to go see Dr. Copeland and figure out how progressed my condition now was. After all, I had something to keep fighting for. I just needed the time to see everything through. I was determined to keep my dream from happening.

Once I had showered and changed, I wandered downstairs when I didn't find Edward in his bedroom. He sat at the grand piano that I'd once asked Esme about, his long fingers sliding gracefully over the ivory and black keys. I tried not to disturb him as I walked up behind him, spontaniously recognizing the melody his fingers were creating. It was the same tune he'd hummed in order to get me back to sleep. But before I could ask him about it, Emmett and Jasper bounded into the room with grim expressions on their faces. Alice entered the room just seconds after her brothers, her own expression causing my heart to seize in panic. I knew that look. She'd seen something while I'd been sleeping.

"It's about time." Emmett joked and thumped Edward on the back as he passed us, grinning brightly at me before he pitched onto the nearby couch. I followed in a daze-like haze, my entire focus still trained on Alice. Her eyes held a slightly glazed over look, something that told me she was trying to see more of whatever had assaulted her subconscious before.

"Shut up." I muttered and plopped down next to him, unconsciously letting my hand fly back against his shoulder. I squeaked in surprise, and pain, which just caused all three men in the room to chuckle. "You're an ass." I muttered again, darkly this time and stuck my tongue out at him childishly when he just grinned at me in response to my sudden violence.

"Just you wait." Edward chuckled and pulled me gently against the side of his body. I didn't waste time in relaxing against him with my head against his shoulder. "Pretty soon, she'll be able to overpower everyone in this house."

"What?" I sputtered and quickly swiveled my face around to meet his amused expression. "What do you mean, I'll be able to overpower everyone?! Have you _seen_ me next to your brother?! He's abnormally massive and I'm not exactly a force to be wreckoned with."

"Not yet." Edward continued to smile breathtakingly at me, then Jasper interjected.

"Houston, you're going to be stronger than any of us during your first year."

"Yeah." Edward chose then to take up his brother's previous statement, leaving me even more confused. That just caused him to grin a little more then abruptly slap the back of Emmett's head. "Stop thinking that." He shot out, trying his best to look menacing. Too bad the corners of his lips started to twitch, giving him away instantly. He looked down at me then, his hand easily molding against my shoulder. "We're all the strongest in our first year. You'll still have human blood pumping in your veins and it takes about that long for your strength to wan into what you'll have for the rest of eternity. During that year, if you wanted, you could easily cause any one of us pain."

"Hmmm." I muttered, my thoughts instantly spiraling into all the ways I could get Emmett back for the jokes he'd made in the time I'd known him. It would be refreshing to have the upper hand, even if only for a year. I'd become so used to being helpless and weak that the idea of invincibility was a foreign concept to me. I just couldn't picture it in my head. I couldn't imagine myself with gold eyes, icy stone skin, impossible speed, and superhuman strength. It was all just way too weird for me. Shaking my head slightly, mostly to clear all of the possibilities I could set Emmett up with, I just looked up at Edward and lightly slapped my hand against his unbreakable thigh. "I need to run an errand, feel like coming with me?"

"Wow, she's already running away." Emmett snorted under his breath, causing me to wink at Edward before I flew off the couch for the front door. In my wake, I could hear the bigger Cullen cuss while the other two laughed under their breaths. I had to get used to Jasper being so willing to start spending time with me. I knew that, with his ability to change emotions, he must not like being around me very much. I was in a constant state of pain and I figured he could feel that just as easily as he felt peace and serenity around Alice. Those looks were way too easy to notice, even for my human eyes.


	27. Chapter 27

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven:**

Twenty-four hours. That was how long I was going to have to wait for the results on my latest battery of bloodtests. It helped to have Carlisle on my side. After all, who could resist the movie star doctor that could stare a hole in you if he wanted?

Edward hadn't left my side since I decided to actually go for an impromptu appointment. Dr. Copeland had been only too happy to see me, chattering happily as she used me as a pincushion to see how my disease had progressed. The only thing I'd been adamant about was Edward leaving the room when I had to be in any varying state of undress. He still had no idea the physical damage done to my body and I was determined to keep things that way. Even though I trusted myself, and our love, enough to tell him my secret, it was a completely different thing to _show_ him the results of that secret.

I was losing weight in all areas but my stomach. My arms were even more fragile looking than ever, the bones in my elbows, wrists, and shoulders sticking out painfully whenever I wore something that exposed the skin. Even though Edward had said I looked breathtaking in the dress I'd worn on our date, I still had my doubts. Not to mention insecurities. It was all getting worse now. My ribs were clearly outlined now against my translucent skin, but my stomach was slightly distended from my body. One of the first things about my bodily changes that had worried Dr. Copeland.

I continued to sit in agonizing silence, Edward like a statue next to me. Just an hour after we'd walked into the house, Alice went from distractingly bouncy to stone still. Her eyes glazed over and my heart instantly jumped into my throat. But yet, for the life of me? I couldn't get Edward or anyone else in the family to tell me what she'd seen. I only knew that we now had to be on our guards.

"Edward." I sighed again, quietly, for what felt like the fiftieth time and turned to look at him pleadingly. "Why won't you just tell me what she saw?"

"Because it's nothing you need to worry about." He finally moved and looped his arm around my shoulders then pulled me up against him carefully. If I didn't know him so well, I would have sworn that this was simply a patronizing attempt to calm me.

"Bull!" I sputtered and soon found myself on my feet, staring down at him angrily.

Of course, he didn't move. Edward never moved. I seriously doubted there would ever come a time when I would actually spark fear in my immortal love. "Houston," He sighed and slowly climbed to his feet. Even for his self-taught, human mannerisms, he was excrutiatingly slow. Now I felt like he was patronizing me.

"She needs to know." Alice's voice came from behind me, breaking in before Edward could even think about saying another word.

"Know what?" I shouted in spite of myself and whirled around to face her. She was stoic, her dark gold eyes sad and fixated clearly on me.

"I saw a visitor." She muttered, her bell-like voice soft and agonized.

"Okay." I drawled the simple word out with a small sweep of my hands, staring at her as if she were speaking some sort of different language. "So you saw someone busting in on Forks. I'm assuming they're one of your kind."

"I'm not sure." She sighed and a different emotion flickered in her eyes. An emotion that I'd never really seen, or expected to see from Alice Cullen. "But I do know that they're looking for you."

* * *

If it were possible, now I was even _more_ on edge! Not only was I still having to wait for my test results, but now Alice had forseen someone coming to town and asking a million questions about me. Me! That was the part that worried me the most. I no longer seemed to really care what happened to my body. Well, I did, but not as much as I had before Edward came into my life.

To distract herself, Alice had thrown her full attention into planning a small, intimate wedding for us. That was the way I wanted things, but there was one glitch that I just could not overlook. I wasn't sure if I would have the time to wait until I turned eighteen. It was still months away and a part of me wanted to stay the same age as Edward. I wanted to forever be seventeen for my adolecent husband-to-be. It was probably crazy, but it was something that I just couldn't distract myself from. The thing I liked the most about this whole wedding thing was that I didn't seem to be needed. Alice and Esme had everything perfectly under control. Which left me to worry and figure out a way to work things in my favor.

I held my breath as I knocked lightly on the door to Carlisle's office. I knew he was inside, probably researching something that intriqued him to the point of shutting himself up in moments of boredom.

"Come in." He called, his heavenly voice clear and calm.

Air whooshed past my lips as I slowly opened the door then stepped inside. The head of the Cullen family sat lounging behind his large, oak desk. A thick volume, probably decades old, was in his hands and he looked up at me with the same calmness that had been in his voice. "Houston," He grinned and set the book aside before he was up and crossing the room to usher me further inside. It wasn't until he reached me that I realized I'd frozen just two steps into the room. The room where my secret had finally been revealed. I hadn't been in Carlisle's study since that fateful day. "What can I do for you, sweetheart?"

"I have a question." My voice was barely above a whisper as he led me over to the couch, gently pushing me into a sitting position as my hands folded into my lap. I stayed still for about a split second before I turned to face him, his expression still calm. But now there was a faint stress of curiosity lining his forehead. "Do you know what I would have to do in order to marry Edward before I turned eighteen?"

There was the slightest break in his carefully composed face and I took that as my hint that he'd been expecting this. Carlisle had been waiting for me to come to him and ask for his help in this matter. Part of me was relieved by it, but another, smaller yet more prominant; side was fiercely the opposite. It was this side that held my posture rigid as I waited for his response. "Children's Services would have to sign a document, giving you formal permission to obtain a marriage liscence. And you would also need an adult there, willing to act as witness and sort of a guardian during your final childhood days."

As soon as he said it, I realized why there was a part of me clutching at fear. How was I going to convince Aaron and Margie to give me written permission to marry Edward? I had a sinking suspicion that Carlisle would be willing to stand as my witness, he'd been looking out for me more than either of my legal representatives had over these past few months. I knew a lot of that had to do with his son. The immortal boy that had captured my heart and refused to let go.

I gulped in a few breaths of air as I nodded, surprising myself when I relaxed instead of flinched when Carlisle laid his hand over mine gently. "Let me see what I can do, okay? We don't want you worrying about anything other than keeping yourself as healthy as possible."

Sounded easy enough, right? Carlisle was offering to act on my behalf so that I could marry Edward. A vampire over three hundred years old was willing to be the voice of a human, seventeen-year-old girl that wanted to marry his one hundred and eight year old son before she died of cancer. I suppose I should have felt relief when I left the doctor's office a short time later, but as I trudged down the stairs; I was met with a low rumbling in the dining room that was only used for family meetings.

I kept my eyes carefully fixed on my surroundings as I entered the room. The first person I saw, of course, was Edward. Alice was in front of him and had Jasper holding onto her from behind. She'd had another vision. One that had taken her by surprise. "Everything okay?"

Three immortal sets of eyes fixed on me so suddenly that I almost indulged in the fear to jump back, behind the wall that separated the entry way from the dining room. Edward reacted first, leaving Jasper to tend to Alice as he molded his hands against my distorted sides. "Everything's fine, Alice just had another sighting of our visitor. Did you work everything out with Carlisle that you needed to?"

Of course he would know all about that. I'd probably left the doctor in his study with his thoughts, all of which were like normal conversation for the man in front of me. I nodded and smiled lightly as I leaned up and lightly wrapped my arms around his neck. It was mostly so I wouldn't fall from a sudden dizzy spell, but no one really needed to know that. And again, I was extremely grateful for the weird glitch in my brain that kept my thoughts from exposing me to Edward. "What did she see, exactly?"

I hated the look that crossed his face next. A tale-tell expression that had me wanting to smack him. If that was even possible! But still, I didn't like being left in the dark when it came to possibilities of the future. _My_ future with the Cullens, to be more percise.

"Just something for the wedding!" My exasperated eyes turned to Alice as she floated past me, her voice regaining the melody she usually took on when she was happy or teasing me. "Nothing to worry about." She grinned, blindingly, then pecked my cheek before she pulled Jasper from the room. Now I definitely knew something was up. The grin hadn't reached the tiny pixie's eyes the way it normally did.

"I hate this." I sighed and rested my forehead against Edward's chest as his arms wound around my waist. I was gently crushed against his body and made no move to pull away. "I hate when you keep secrets from me."

"Houston," He sighed, and it was musical in my ears. "It really was for the wedding. She's trying to figure out when we're going to give her an exact date."

"How long do you want to wait?" I asked quietly, my voice muffled against the fabric of his shirt.

He responded first by gently rubbing my back, and I could feel the familiar tension in his embrace. He always had to be so careful with me, so guarded because of his extraordinary strength had the ability to break me. I honestly couldn't wait until the time when we wouldn't have to be careful with each other. Sometimes it felt like one of the only things keeping me going was the promise of that future. When we could just exist and not have to worry about any of the things we were dealing with now. I was living for the time when we could just love each other. With no restraints. "I'll wait as long as you want me to." He breathed, his lips pressing lightly against the top of my head.

I couldn't hold back the sigh that filtered through my lips and found myself smiling in spite of what had just happened. "As soon as possible sounds like a good plan to me." I responded and leaned my head back enough so that I could look up at him without having to move away too much. "Think Alice could pull something in time for us to get married a month from today?"

The smile on his face was blinding with joy. I was surprised that I could inspire a look like that on his features. I'd never seen his angel's face lit up quite the way it was right then. Even when I'd agreed to become his wife, that expression was nothing to what I was gazing into now. My grin had a mind of it's own as it mirrored his and my arms tightened slightly around his neck. I didn't say anything else, couldn't even _think_ of anything to say as I leaned up and lightly pressed my lips to his perfect, stone mouth. His response felt almost automatic as my lips molded against his, and much too soon, I was pulling away to gasp for air. "I love you." I breathed as my lips once again transformed into the breathless smile that I was sure would never go away. And I hoped that it never would. The day he stopped making me smile would be the day I would cease to exist.


	28. Chapter 28

_AN: After checking a couple of the chapters, I just realized that the paragraph breaks weren't marked. So I'm sorry for any weird flow to the story. From now on, I'll start sectioning things off._

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Eight:**

A tired sigh escaped my lips as I slowly walked through Margie's front door. It felt weird to be coming back here, after so much time spent at the Cullen house. But I had to come back. I had to close this chapter of my life so that I could walk into my next with absolutely no hesitation. Not that there was any to speak of, anyway. But I had to give Margie a proper goodbye. She deserved that, especially after everything that she'd unknowingly given me.

I set my bag down and quietly closed the door behind me. But I wasn't silent enough. Before I was even aware of what was going on, I came face to face with Derrick. She had taken him back.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" He seethed, anger and alcohol assaulting me from every single turn. Margie came out into the living room as he backed me against the front door.

I couldn't breathe, the stench of alcohol was just too overpowering and making my stomach clench violently. "I just came to get my stuff." I muttered and kept my voice completely devoid of emotion. Getting riled up would just make things even worse for me. And possibly Margie. Somehow, she managed to pull him away from me, and quickly wrapped her arms around my neck. I relaxed and hugged her back before I pulled away completely.

"Houston, how have you been? Dr. Cullen and Aaron came by with some paperwork for me to sign but wouldn't tell me why. What's happened?"

My back tensed almost automatically and I flattened against the hallway that led toward my bedroom. The ring on my left hand was probably blatantly obvious against the leg of my worn jeans, but I just couldn't think about that right then. I wasn't thinking of anything but getting out of the house. Hopefully with the paperwork that she had just mentioned. "I need you to sign those papers, Margie. I finally want something to happen before my life ends but I can't get that without your help." I wasn't above the idea of begging as I reached out and slid my cold hands over her wrists. "Please, Margie. If you love and care about me at all, sign them and let me go. You'll be giving me the greatest gift I could ever hope for."

"What will I be giving you?" She breathed, her face blanched with what I could only assume was fear. But before I could answer her, Derrick voiced a question of his own.

"Why should she do anything for you?!"

"Because it'll make her free of me!" I yelled back, abruptly losing my cool as I glared at him. "You'll never have to see me darken her doorstep again."

My words were the silent trigger I'd been afraid of. Margie went flying back into the front door as he advanced on me, his hands easily encasing my throat. I lost my balance easily and slid to the floor, gagging almost instantly when his hold constricted my breathing.

"Let her go!" Margie wailed, tears evident in her voice, even though I couldn't see her. I reached up, unable to talk, and tried desperately to pry Derrick's hands from around my throat. I was going to have a bruise in the morning, I was sure of that. But then again, that was providing I even lived to see the daylight. His grip tightened and almost abruptly, blackness started to pull at me. I could feel it, deep in the back of my consciousness, pulling me into the dark recesses that I refused to visit. I didn't have enough fight in me left anymore to keep it all at bay. But as the darkness grew more fierce, the brightest face I'd ever seen suddenly appeared in my mind's eye. My angel. Coming to be with me even when Derrick was pulling the life from my throat.

I wasn't sure how long I was unconscious. But even with my eyes closed, and my mind struggling to reconnect with my body, I was aware of the pain. The drying scratch of my throat, the fire-like sear in my belly and legs. It was all too real to me and my subconscious was quick to fight it all back. But again, my strength was nonexistant. I was alert and aware way too soon for my liking. Slowly opening my eyes, I winced instantly when the pain became even more intensified. Now that I was awake, I was clear of all the agony in my weakening frame.

"Houston?" That voice was like a lifeline, even if it was constricted and cracked with pain. Edward's voice was still the beautiful melody that it always was.

"Hi." I muttered, my voice scratchy and barely there as I reached out for his hand. He laced his fingers through mine in his blindingly fast movement and gently pulled my hand up to kiss my knuckles. "I'm sorry."

"No apologies." He soothed and leaned forward to press his icy lips to my forehead. "You have nothing at all to apologize for, my love."

"What happened?" I whispered and felt tears beginning to pool in my eyes when I looked up at him again. His eyes were dark, nearly coal black with his thirst. "How did I get...where am I?"

In spite of the situation, which I could only guess was gravely bad, he laughed. It was still strained but it made my heart flutter irratically. "You're home." He breathed and smiled my favorite crooked grin. His other hand came up and gently molded against my cheek. I was grateful that he chose to overlook it when I winced under his touch. I guess the bruise on my throat had traveled up to my face as well. "Carlisle and I just barely got to you before Derrick strangled you. We promised not to harm him if Margie signed the consent form. You're free, Houston. You're free to marry me and spend the rest of your life here with us."

"I love the sound of that." I sighed, smiling dreamily. But before I could fully relish in the moment, my body constricted violently and I cried out in pain. My back arched up off the solid surface underneath me violently with my legs curling toward my chest. The tears in my eyes blinded my vision, but I knew Edward was still there by his hold on my hand. My breath began to come out in gasps as my body continued to react with the most violent pain I'd ever felt.

"Carlisle!" Edward screamed. In the back of my mind, deep where the pain couldn't get me, I knew that he had no reason to yell. Carlisle could hear him clearly if he was whispering and I had to force myself to realize that he was screaming in reaction to my writhing.

I couldn't push it back. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did to try and think it away, it just wouldn't. Pain had too powerful of a grip on me. "Edward!" I yelled in a broken gasp, trying in vain to force my body back onto whatever it was I was laying on. I hadn't been conscious long enough to fully taken in my surroundings. "Please?" I begged suddenly, gripping his hand like some sort of lifeline as I curled onto my side. "Make it stop."

"What's wrong?" Carlisle sounded so far away as he blew into the room. I now had two cold hands on my body as my eyes shut in pain.

"I don't know." He breathed, his voice sounding so painful and tragic in my ringing ears. "She regained consciousness and we were talking just fine. Her throat restricted her voice a little but then she just started screaming and convulsing."

Once again, the blackness was coming for me as the hands on my body moved and I was being pushed back onto what I now realized was a bed. A bed?! The only one I knew of existing was the room I'd been put in after Edward had lost control, and the one in Alice and Jasper's room. "Please?" I begged again, my voice fading even more as my muscles relented under the strong, stone hands. I could feel something pinch the inside of my elbow but couldn't bring myself to shy away. "It hurts." I sighed again, this time dreamily as the darkness got a good grip on me and pulled me under. The last thing I was aware of this time was the numbing that began to pump through my veins, a cold hand still holding me as I faded out yet again.

* * *

"Is she awake?" My nose wrinkled instantly when I heard a voice that I'd never heard before. Everytime I regained consciousness, the first person I always heard was Edward. His musical tone was like a lifeline, something tangible to hold onto as I forced my mind and body to sync back up. Slowly opening my eyes, I squinted against the slanting rays of sunlight peeking in through the blinds that had been opened wide to my immediate right. Looking over at them, I frowned and flopped my head over when I heard the source of that unfamiliar voice again.

"Who are you?" The question left my lips before I was even finished with my mental assessment of my visitor. I could only guess that what happened in Edward's room had led to a hospitalization. The room was light with pastels, my body swathed in hospital paper with stiff blankets covering most of my body from view. I became aware of the tubes connected to my arms, the electrodes connected to my chest and various pressure points on my body, and the tube that had been taped down under my nose. But I wasn't aware of any of that. None of it compared to the shock I felt while staring at my visitor.

The man looked like any other man I could've passed on the street. His dark hair was cut short and close to his head, with sharp features that vaguely reminded me of my own face. He was pretty tall, average in both height and build. He was dressed casually in jeans and a button down shirt that seemed to look all wrong on him. He was someone I had seen before, but for the life of me, I couldn't place where or when. He grinned slightly as he took a step into my private room, and idly made a mental note to thank Carlisle for that later on. "My name is Michael. Michael Sherwood."

My heart seized and triggered the beeping machine to my left. The entire room, and probably most of my floor, could hear my dizzying heartrate as I reacted to the man's name. My mom had only mentioned my father once during my brief childhood. She'd told me that I resembled him in my bone structure, and that his name had been Michael. "No." I breathed and shook my head slowly. This wasn't happening. It seriously wasn't.

"Yes." He replied gravely and took another step toward me, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his jeans. "I'm your father, Houston."

"No you're not." I answered with sudden, dark conviction. As far as I was concerned, Carlisle Cullen was my father. He was the closest I'd ever come to a paternal figure in my life, he was who I drawed on whenever I tried to make connections between father and child. It was too easy to do that because of all the time I'd spent watching him and his children interact. And I so desperately wanted to be that to him as well, another gift that Edward was giving me. "You're _not_ my father." I fumed, my pulse evening out slightly as I continued to stare at him coldly. My voice was probably the least threatening thing that I'd ever heard before, but I chalked it up to the damage Derrick had inflicted when he tried to strangle me. "If you were my father, you would've been here long before now. You wouldn't have done everything you did to my mother."

"Houston," He sighed and eased into the chair that had been shoved up against my bedside. Edward. He'd done the same thing after that first visit after my surgeries. "I didn't know you existed back then. Your mother carried a lot of secrets with her the day she left me."

"Well can you blame her!?" I sputtered out, anger, hurt, and blinding fear surging through me fluidly; making me feel the surfacing fire in my muscles easier. "She never talked about what you did to her, but there had to be a reason. She wouldn't have left if you didn't hurt her."

"I did hit your mother." And suddenly, Michael looked like a man confessing the gravest of sins. And to me, he was. Hitting my mother had been his ultimate act of betrayal. Especially when the final blow had come just months after my creation was confirmed. "But I would have stopped immediately if she'd told me about you. She doesn't have the right to have kept me from you for so long."

I couldn't help the short, bitter laugh that filtered through my throat as I stared up at the ceiling. I shook my head slowly, trying to get a grip on my emotions as my fingers curled and relaxed instinctively around the edge of my blankets. "Wow, you don't do your research very well, do you Michael?" My words came out with more bite that I'd originally intended but right then? I could have cared less if I hurt the man sitting next to me. I didn't even bother to look away as I went on, my voice seeming to grow stronger with the lapsing seconds. "My mother died eight years ago from cancer. Did you know that?" I asked, forcing myself to sound curious as I tilted my head slightly to stare at him innocently. "Oh! And did you know that I've also got cancer? Yeah, I was diagnosed when I was fourteen. It's made life very interesting for me. And I'm probably in here right now because my body's finally shutting down."

The one reaction I never would've expected from the man that had made my mother's life hell happened. His face crumpled almost instantly, the smile he'd been wearing just seconds ago faded completely and his suntanned skin lost some of its vibrancy.

"They put me in the system." I went on, not caring in the least how I sounded. "One foster home, or group home, after another. Some kicked me out because they didn't want a teenage daughter. There were others that kicked me out because I was out of remission. A few beat the crap out of me, and this latest one? She's probably the coolest foster mother I've ever had. But her boyfriend tried to strangle me...however long ago."

Michael looked even more stricken as I laid my entire life story out for him. I didn't tell him in hopes of having some profound apology mold his voice. I was so beyond apologies and really, why did I need one from the man I'd just met? He was nothing to me, I felt nothing when he reacted silently to what had happened to me over the course of my life. So I had no hesitation in my voice when I drove the final nail into the proverbial coffin. "And as far as my fiance is concerned? You're dead. I've never once mentioned you in any of my stints all over the continental US. I've never once thought about you or wondered why you couldn't be there to be my father. It may have taken me seventeen years, but I have more than you could've ever given me. I have a life, no matter how short it's going to be because of my disease, but it _won't_ involve you. I want nothing to do with you, Michael. Please leave."

He didn't move, and I didn't really delude myself into thinking that he would. But there was movement, and it came in the form of my breathtaking knight in shining armor. I was pretty sure that Alice had warned him that I wouldn't be alone in the room and his human movements conveyed that as he swept across the tiled floor and came around the other side of my bed. "Houston." He breathed, completely oblivous to the man on my left and pressed his cold lips to my forehead. "I was so worried about you. How do you feel?"

"Tired." I sighed and reclined my head back on the pillow underneath me so I could look up into the eyes I loved so much without discomfort or pain. "And I think whatever they kept me knocked out with is wearing off." I finished and winced when pain flared angrily through my abdomen.

His lips smoothed the creases lining my forehead once more before he turned his dark golden eyes onto our visitor. Michael. "Who's your guest?"

I noticed immediately when his voice slipped into the cool, formal tone he'd only used around me once before. The day after I had shoved my favorite book into his stone chest. Shrugging, I sighed and tried my best to get comfortable, ignoring the urge to reach up and rip the tube out of my nose so I could breathe properly. I hated being hooked up to all of these machines. "Michael Sherwood. He finally decided to come meet me." I smiled bitterly up at Edward then turned my head to look at Michael again. "I'm sorry you came out all this way, but there's really nothing for you here, Michael. I'll be dead soon, your obligations are already long gone. Feel free to go back to whatever life you dropped when you caught wind of my whereabouts."

The huff that passed through the air wasn't from who I would have expected, but I relaxed visibly when Michael Sherwood jerked to his feet then sped from the room.

"So that's who he is." Edward sighed and my head instinctively whipped around to face him.

"What?" I hissed, my brain already working feverishly to try and put the new pieces together.

He sighed and eased onto the edge of my bed, gently collecting one of my hands into his. "He's the visitor Alice saw." He murmered, his voice like flowing silk as it wove through my ear. We were in public, for the most part, which meant that the human facades were on and in clear place. "He's who she saw coming to find you."

"Great." I groaned with a roll of my eyes then frowned as I tilted my head slightly to look up at him. "I don't want him anywhere near me, Edward."

"He won't be alone with you again." His voice held the seal of his promise, his lips against my forehead acting as the stamp that confirmed it all. "But enough about him." He sighed and his expression constricted as, right then, Carlisle entered the room. There was a clipboard in his hand, a white labcoat covering his beige dress shirt and khaki colored pants.

"It's so good to see you awake." He breathed and came up the other side of my bed to lightly grasp my free hand. "I just hope you aren't mad about waking up here."

"No worries." I shrugged then winced and ground my teeth together when another shift in my posture caused my muscles to hiss at me angrily. "I figured I'd end up here eventually." My shoulders bounced again ever so slightly and I didn't have to look over at the immobile form to my right. "What's going on?"

"I got your test results." Even though Carlisle was in what I could only describe as full-on doctor mode, he still sounded just as he did in the privacy of his own home. His bedside manner, probably one of the most relaxing I'd ever encountered. "Your liver is shutting down, Houston. That was what caused you to react the way you did after we brought you back home. It's also the reason for the swelling in your belly. Dr. Copeland wanted to come and tell you this herself, but she hoped it would hurt less if it came from me. Someone who loves you."

Tears welled up in my eyes effortlessly as I nodded. This was what I'd been fearing the most. It had finally spread into my liver and without aggressive treatment, this spelled the end of the line for me. "Please don't try and convince me to keep fighting." I breathed and looked up at him with blurred, yet pleading eyes. Edward's hands tightened ever so slightly around mine and my heart jerked violently at his sharp intake of breath. The monitor beside my head gave me away instantly.

"This is entirely your choice," Carlisle nodded and moved to sit in the chair beside my bed. Force of habit, nothing more. After all, that was the only thing keeping Edward on the edge of my mattress. "But honestly, there's nothing that can be done now. It's become too advanced and your only option..." Trailing off, he flashed me a quick, wry smile and folded his arms over the clipboard resting against his thighs. "You've chosen it already. But Houston, this isn't going to be easy." He replied suddenly, passionately and looked up at his son before gazing at me again. "For either one of you. You're not gaining any weight because your body isn't breaking anything down the way it's suppose to. Your liver shutting down is what's causing the swelling in your abdomen."

Swallowing thickly, I just nodded and kept my eyes on the blankets covering my legs. They didn't even resemble the memory I had of my last illness-related hospital stay. I really was wasting away and it was scaring me beyond the point of death. "Will it...go away?" I asked carefully, yet guardedly as I looked from my perfect fiance to his immaculate father. I couldn't ask the question quite the way I wanted to. But their intelligence far exceeded mine. They would easily be able to tell what I was getting at.

"Yes." Carlisle replied as Edward nodded. "The Influenza had taken quite a toll on Edward when he finally came into my life. But could you honestly tell of his suffering when you first met him?"

Air felt like it was solid and lodged in my throat as I shook my head. I felt Edward shift minutely next to me and Carlisle leaned closer to me so that his quiet voice could reach my less sensitive ears more easily. "I didn't know..." I sighed, forcing myself to stay relaxed so the pain in my abdomen wouldn't get so intense that I would start screaming in agony again.

"It's going to be fine." This time, it was Edward's voice that soothed me as his cold fingers slid gently through my hair. I sighed again, almost instantly, and tilted my head toward his touch. I didn't have to look up at him to know there was a small, almost straining smile on his lips. It was strange to me how, in just a short amount of time, I'd come to know this person so completely and fully that I found myself unaware of where he ended and I began at times. Even with all of the supernatural forces surrounding us, him bringing a world I'd only ever dreamed about existing to my life, I sometimes felt on the same playing field as Edward. Physical appearances and restraints aside, it was like he was my other half in every single way.

"I know, I believe you." I sighed and smiled weakly up at him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle rise silently from his seat. Looking at him in confusion, I frowned instantly when a nurse suddenly bustled into the room. Great. I still hadn't gotten over my aversion to overly cheerful nurses. I wasn't sure if I ever would.

"It's so good to see you awake, Ms. Morgan!" She grinned at me as she checked the bags of fluid surrounding me. I grimaced and grit my teeth when she tugged on the IV needle taped to the back of my hand, pulling the skin surrounding it uncomfortably. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a pincushion." I muttered darkly and kept my eyes on the abnormally long needle embedded in my skin. I was just glad that I wasn't bleeding anywhere. The knowledge of Edward's thirst for my blood never left my mind and I wasn't about to put him through even more agony and risk him having to separate himself from me. That was pain worse than what I'd experienced before blacking out the last time.

"Scale of one to ten, how's the pain?" She asked, this time her voice sounding genuinely concerned as her gaze flickered from me, to Edward who was still perched on the edge of my bed, then back to me.

"Eight." I frowned then gasped aloud when a searing jolt of fire slithered through my abdomen. "When can I go home?"

"Few days at least." The nurse, I think her name was Heather, patted my unmarked hand and pushed unnaturally blonde hair behind the shoulder of her brightly colored scrub top. "Dr. Copeland wants to set you up on a Dialysis schedule so that she can keep your liver functioning as normally as possible. If it gets too out of hand, you can risk serious infection with all the toxins not being able to leave your system. That's why you're so bloated, Houston. Your body can't get rid of what it needs to."

I sighed and nodded, looking out the window to my right as I listened to her speak. I was finally aware then of why Edward hadn't moved and why Carlisle had already left the room. The sunlight was still coming in the room and they both had to be careful. Them in sunlight would give their secret away in the sheer blink of an eye. I didn't say anything else as the nurse injected something into my IV tube and quietly left the room. Tears brimmed to the surface once I was finally alone with Edward and sighed as I swiped the back of my free hand over my eyes carefully. "I don't want to be here."

"I know." He finally shifted then, leaning over me with his arm braced carefully on the other side of my body. "I hate seeing you in here, so sick. But we need time, love. Alice and Esme are working as fast as they can, and I promise, it's only for a little while longer."

I nodded and, in spite of my confidence in my abilities, I managed to squelch the rest of the tears that filled my eyes and sighed. "Are you sure, Edward?" I winced at how soft my voice came out with my simple, yet heavy question. It was one that had been weighing on my mind for so long that it honestly surprised me to have it voiced now. "Are you sure that you're gonna be able to do this?"

"You mean..." I knew what he was referring to when he trailed off, and leaned over closer so that his breath blew a little more noticably over my cheeks and nose. I relished in the heavenly scent, not the least bit surprised that I was suddenly able to breathe a little better now. "Turn you?" When he finished his question anyway, his voice was barely above a whisper.

I wasn't sure if my voice would cooperate so I just nodded and carefully bit down on my lower lip. "What if something goes wrong?" The proverbial floodgate had been opened. I couldn't hold my questions back any longer now that I felt even more closer to Death's door than before. "What if you can't bring yourself to stop? Edward, I don't want you to blame yourself or do anything rash just because you can't save me."

"Houston." The sudden growl of my name halted the words on my tongue instantly. His eyes smoldered in the dimming light of the hospital room, his jaw clenched tight under the anger I'd unknowingly unearthed. "Don't talk like that, please? This hasn't beat you, there's still an option for you. Granted it's not a very good one, but I can promise you that you have nothing to fear. I would rather kill myself than kill you. I wouldn't offer this to you if I thought myself uncapable of following through."

He spoke with such conviction, the anger still darkening his eyes, that there was no way I could dispute him. I didn't have it in me to find the flaws behind his words. He believed, so absolutely, in what he was saying that I could only believe him too. After all, when had he ever lied or let me down before?


	29. Chapter 29

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine:**

Why was there never anything on television? Even in a town this small, I'd been holding onto some amount of faith that they would have decent TV reception. But I was sadly mistaken.

My first dialysis appointment had already come and gone, making me feel even more like a pincushion as the extra toxins were pulled from my body. The ony good thing I could say about the entire experience was the swelling in my stomach had, thankfully, gone down. I'd even gotten a shower out of the deal, but that only happened after I put my foot down and demanded Edward go hunt. His eyes were too dark for my liking and it was something that was traveling over into my dreams. I could no longer dream of the golden pools that made up his eyes, they were always flat black and hungry in my sleep now.

Sighing, I just flicked the remote aside once I'd turned the TV off and looked around for the iPod that Alice had brought me. There was more of my music in the tiny device now than when it had first been given to me. But the songs I liked the most from Alice and Edward's personal stores had been safely kept inside the iPod. Starting the first, random song I came to, I sighed and relaxed. But the swell of the music hadn't hit it's top decipal and I heard a new, sudden noise with almost perfect clarity.

I wrenched the earbud speakers from my ears quickly and frowned when I saw Michael Sherwood standing in the doorway of my room. Yet again. And I'd been dumb enough to ask Edward to leave me alone for a few hours. But, knowing him, a back-up plan had been put into affect. "I thought I asked you to leave me alone."

"I'm afraid I can't do that." He sighed, but the expression on his face betrayed his contrite tone ever so slightly. "Houston, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I know that it's asking a lot from you, but I deserve the chance...as your father, to make things right. I want to know you and I want you to know me."

"No." I announced and winced when my throat suddenly constricted with my loud tone. "Michael, I'm sorry, but I don't want to know you. You have no legal ties to me, you're free and clear!"

I could tell he wanted to say something, the words were just on the tip of his tongue. But timing was on my side, for once. Emmett burst into the room before I was fully aware of what was going on. "Houston?" He asked calmly, but every other movement and expression screamed in anxiety. "Everything okay in here?"

"Yeah." I nodded and glanced at him for a brief moment before my eyes focused on Michael again. "He was just leaving. Weren't you, Michael?"

It shouldn't have amused me so much, watching him take the time to decide what he wanted to do. But one look, one _real_ good look at Emmett and the decision seemed to be made for him. My brother-in-law to be could intimidate anyone and I was even fiercely more glad that he was on my side when my biological father awkwardly climbed to his feet and hurried out of the room. Sighing, I just dropped my head against the pillow under my head and sighed.

"What was that about?" Emmett asked casually and carefully dropped into the chair Michael had just vacated.

"I wish I knew." I sighed, probably looking insanely stupid as my head lolled around against the mound of pillows underneath me. "Did Edward tell you about Alice's...uh, visitor?"

"Yeah." The word was slow leaving Emmett's lips as he nodded. Now he was the one that looked goofy! Of course that was probably to patronize me since he looked like someone having a conversation with a barely coherent child. "And it's obvious that he has some connection to you."

"Understatement." I muttered darkly and carefully crossed my arms across my chest. I was still hooked to monitors and while I hated being so limited, it was sadly something I was used to. "He's...my biological father. I guess he finally found out that I exist and is now here to get to know me."

I'd never seen any real type of emotion to cross Edward's large brother's face quite the way the news of my birth father's sudden appearance did. His eyes looked like they were about to bug out of his head, but he was quick to restrain his shock. "Do you think that's why he's really here?"

I couldn't quite swallow back the snort that formed in the back of my throat. "Hardly." I sighed then shrugged as I started moving again. I couldn't sit still now to save my life and talking about Michael Sherwood put me even more on edge. "I just don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about the possible damage he could wreak on my world. Everything's finally good, I have the family of my dreams."

"Demented."

I paused long enough to shoot Emmett the dirtiest look I could, but suddenly found myself snickering. For all intents and purposes, he _was_ right. I was turning my back on humanity, on the world I'd been emersed in for so long. Even though I was running out of time, it still felt weird to be in this transition. I'd never expected anything like Edward and his family. I'd only hoped for this world, only dreamed about it when I felt so weak that I couldn't push away the desire to dream. "Okay." He blurted out suddenly, the thud that echoed from his hands slapping his thighs sounded like a muted avalance. "I've always been wondering something, mind if I ask?"

"Shoot." I shrugged with a small wave of my hand. I knew that Emmett had a bunch of things that ran beneath the surface, but he never asked questions. Especially to me. "First one's free."

His expression remained unchanged but he shifted ever so slightly in his chair. "How did you accept all of this so easily?"

"How did you?" I challenged back quietly. As far as I knew, Emmett was the one in the family that was the least conflicted about his life. "I know that nothing really phases you, but..."

"Well," Emmett sighed then and became almost immobile as he contemplated my question. "It was either be changed or die. You know none of us had choices, but I'm never going to regret Rose finding and saving me. It may not be the most ideal of lives, constantly having to resist...well, you guys." He paused long enough to smile slyly at me then went on. "But the alternative was much worse. I guess...when it comes to me? I just feel that the good outweighs the bad. I wouldn't have Rose if that bear had finished me off. But I never knew about this before that day, Houston. I never knew that monsters existed. You've spent months in our world and you've never once looked scared."

"Because I'm not." I breathed and forced myself to look up at him. Part of me was still surprised I was actually having an honest conversation with Emmett. It wasn't that I thought he was insanely stupid, it was the exact opposite. I'd never met anyone like Emmett Cullen and he was definitely one of a kind. Sighing, I fully relaxed back against the pillows and looked up at the ceiling. "When I was little, my mom introduced me to all these different books. Her favorites were from Anne Rice, _The Vampire Chronicles._ She had just gotten sick when she started to read the series to me. It was probably wrong, or irresponsible, but she created a world for us to escape into. And afterward, we'd sit and just talk. She always said that she wished that world, a world of immortal beauty and never being sick, existed. She never said it, but I could tell she wished for a vampire that would fall in love with her and take her away from everything. It just...sort of stuck." I laughed lightly, humorlessly and shrugged as I lifted my head enough to look at Edward's favorite brother. "It probably sounds stupid, but I used to dream about a guy like Edward. I wanted something to save me from the destiny laid out in front of me and...when I found out who Edward really was? I learned that it didn't really matter. When I learned his secret, and your family's secret, I was already too in love with him for it to change my mind about him."

"You just refused to admit it then." Emmett cracked, a small smirk playing on his features. In spite of myself, I laughed and rolled my eyes, moving only long enough to pull a pillow from behind me and hurl it at him. It wouldn't hurt him, but it made me feel at least a _little _better to launch some kind of attack on him. I could only imagine how different things would be when the time came for me to join his family.

* * *

It was raining and I'd been released from the hospital. Finally. I still had to go in for dialysis treatments but that was just a temporary solution to a permanant problem. I still had to wait for my more permanant solution. Sighing quietly as I sat curled up on the wooden porch, completely protected from the downpour, I sighed and closed my eyes as the smell of fresh rain invaded my senses. I'd always loved that scent the most, before I met Edward. I'd lost count of the number of times my mother would wake me up, or pull me from whatever I'd been doing at the time so we could run outside and play in the rain. Tears pricked at the back of my eyes as I clenched my eyes shut tighter. The wound my mother's passing had left behind was flaring suddenly and painfully, but I ignored it to savor my memories. This had become the first thing to make me accept Forks as home. It always rained, I couldn't get away from the smell or the sound of those cleansing droplets.

Something shifted beside me and I opened my eyes to stare directly into a pair of worried, bright gold eyes. Edward was kneeling beside me with a small smile on his features, dispite the worry clouding his beautiful eyes. "You okay?" His velvety voice blocked the rain from my ears almost perfectly.

I smiled and nodded, reaching up to lightly trace my fingertips against his lips before I sighed and looked out at the darkening clearing spread out in front of me. "I was just remembering my mom."

"That explains these." He chuckled almost silently and trapped a fallen tear against his finger. I looked over and smiled when I saw the serene expression on his face. "What're you thinking about?"

"How much she used to love the rain." I sighed and curled my legs a little tighter against my chest. I knew I wasn't supposed to be outside, I had to be even more careful now, but the urge to just...be outdoors was too overpowering to ignore any longer. "No matter what time of the day it was, or what we were doing, she would pick me up and run outside. We spent hours playing in the rain together." I smiled again, gently as more tears cascaded over my lower eyelashes. "She said that dancing in the rain was the best way you could cleanse your body. She was always so vibrant and happy when we would finally come in out of the storms."

The expression on Edward's face baffled me a little as he stared out into the falling rain. Of course, he was like a statue beside me, but there was no tension in his joints and posture. It was almost as if he was contemplating something. "Carlisle will kill me." He breathed, then suddenly looked at me with a wide grin on his features. "Oh well." Before I could protest, or was really aware of what was going on, I was up and in his arms. Craddling me against his chest, his lips met mine in the briefest of kisses before he was moving.

The rain felt euphoric against my skin when he stepped out from the covered porch and stopped in the middle of the clearing. The rain was coming down fast, but not hard enough to inspire fear of thunder and lightening. This was the kind of downpour that my mother had always played with me in. I laughed then, really laughed for the first time in months and spread my arms out to my sides. I knew I had nothing to fear in Edward's stone grasp. I could move however I wanted and there was no risk of me being dropped. So I let my head fall back, still laughing as the wind caught my hair and tossed it into tangles against Edward's drenched shirt sleeve. He seemed to catch on to my getting lost in the moment and I was soon squealing in delight when he gently whirled us around in the rain. It didn't feel quite the same as running around with my arms thrown over my head. But as I lay stretched in my soulmate's arms, with my clothes becoming a thin barrier against my skin, I still felt as alive as I had with my mother.

It felt like an eternity spent in the rain, with Edward spinning me slowly in his arms. There was no tension in his frame and I could tell that he would do this forever if I asked him to. But my body wouldn't be able to handle it. That was always the end to my fun. I could only live in brief incriments and when I shivered in his arms, dispite the warm air wafting around us, it was no match for his cold arms. "I love you." He breathed into my ear, electricity igniting through my body when his cool breath blew strands of wet hair over my ear.

My answer was the dreamy grin on my face as I pulled my head up to look at him. His eyes were what caught me first, his crooked grin following in seconds later. His deep gold eyes were alight with happiness and carefree fun. A combination I'd never seen before but I wanted to see more of. No matter how he saw himself, or what he thought of himself, I would always remember this moment. It didn't matter to me what the others said, that human memories faded over time after the transition took place. I would never let myself forget anything about the glorious creature holding me protectively against him, giving me my childhood fun in a new form. Even though he knew I would pay for this in the morning, he had still been so willing to give me just a few moments of reckless abandonment. At the end of it all, he would be the one thing that made my constant fight more than worth it.


	30. Chapter 30

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty:**

The moment in the rain, twirling around in Edward's arms had come with a price. I hadn't seen Michael since my last day in the hospital, when I'd told him yet again to leave me alone, but I also hadn't stepped foot off the Cullen property. The preparations for the wedding were over half-way completed, the only thing now lacking was what I would wear as I made that walk down the isle.

Edward already had his suit for the small ceremony, which I was surprised would be overseen by an actual minister from Forks. With the wedding now two weeks away, I was anxious. More than anxious, actually. Even though I'd gotten sick after my time in the rain with Edward, I'd still done everything asked of me in preparation for the nuptuals. Of course, Alice was stressing and no amount of comforting her was going to do any type of good.

As the days had worn on, even Rosalie had grown anxious about my lack of a dress for the big day. They both, along with Esme, had a very clear vision of what they wanted me to wear, but everything they saw didn't come close to the vision in their head. A vision that was being blocked from Edward's gift. It was a little annoying at times, to have the traditional wedding of my dreams, when my groom was able to see the mysterious dress in his siblings' mind. But everyone seemed to be taking things in stride. There was only one thing left that I could do, the one thing that had actually scared me to the point of tears every time I tried to breach the subject with Carlisle.

I wanted my soon-to-be father-in-law to walk me down the isle and give me away. I hadn't told anyone about the idea, it was something I wanted to be a complete and total surprise. As much as I wanted to marry Edward, I wanted Carlisle to give me away almost as much. It was something I was sure would be tricky, since he was also going to be acting as Edward's best man. But as I lay stretched out on the large couch in what was now refered to as my and Edward's room, with his expensive stereo playing one of my favorite CDs from his collection, I began to refine my idea. I wanted to walk down the isle and see Carlisle standing between his sons. I wanted to walk toward that connection that only they shared. Alice and Rosalie had been surprised a few days ago when I asked them to stand with me as my bridesmaids and the anxiety about finding my dress had momentarily been lifted when each one ransacked her own closet in search of the dress she would be wearing.

A soft knock sounded at the door, causing me to raise an eyebrow slightly as I looked up from the book I'd been trying to read for the past hour. "Since when do you guys knock?" I jokingly called toward the door, honestly not sure who stood on the other side of the wide, wooden frame.

Jasper came in then, smiling sheepishly as his tall and lean frame conformed into the doorway. "Since you nearly took Emmett's head off when he busted in on you changing."

"Oops." I muttered and my cheeks instantly flushed. Looking away, I sat up and crossed my legs in front of me as I set the book aside and waved him in. "I figured he'd squeal on me for that. What's up, Jazz?"

He chuckled at the nickname everyone had for him and shrugged as he took a couple of steps into the room. He still had his moments of struggle with abstaining, but I'd become pleasantly surprised to find him spending more and more time around me. Even with the constant state of discomfort I was in, he had told me that I was also happy. Exceedingly happy and he enjoyed being around me almost as much as he thrived on the mood that surrrounded him when he was with Alice. "Edward asked me to keep an eye on you while he was gone. But I also wanted to give you some privacy so I decided on hourly visits."

"Ahh." I chuckled with a small nod and patted the other side of the couch with my heel before I curled up again. "I forgot he went hunting with the others this morning."

"Yeah." Jasper grinned, and to my surprise, sat down on the other end of the couch and effortlessly angled to where he could see me clearly. "He should be back by tonight, in time for you to go to sleep."

Even though I didn't mean to, my eye roll was evident as I huffed under my breath. As much as I loved Edward's doting, yet overprotective ways; I still didn't want him to think he had to hurry back just so I could go to sleep. It was strange, and a little unnerving now, how easily I was able to push the nightmares away on my own. But I still liked sleeping in my fiance's arms so much more than sleeping alone. "Overprotective." I joked dryly and pushed hair off my forehead before I suddenly looked over at the newest of my to-be brothers. "Can I ask you something, Jazz? You can totally tell me no and I promise I won't be offended."

"No one in this house can say no to you." He joked with a wide grin, displaying his teeth in a non-threatening way and nodded his head slightly. "What's up?"

"I..." Frowning, my nose even wrinkling as my voice faltered, I mentally kicked myself and squinted at him as the words just rushed past my lips. "I was wondering if you would be willing to walk me down the isle. I know that Edward asked Emmett and Carlisle to stand with him, and I asked Alice and Rose to stand with me. But...I'd really like it if you and Esme would actually walk me down the isle. She's already agreed but..."

"You've been scared to ask me." Jasper was quiet and a little amused as he finished my statement.

"Well...yeah." I blurted out and once again felt the familiar rush of blood into my cheeks. "We've never really spent an insane amount of time together and I didn't know if you would be comfortable doing that. I also don't want you feeling left out of this since I'm sure you two idgits are already planning Edward's..." I frowned again and tilted my head slightly. "You _are _throwing him a bachelor party, aren't you?"

"Of course." He laughed, and it sounded almost as musical as Edward's laugh. "Emmett wouldn't take no for an answer when Edward tried to wrestle him out of the idea. He says it's tradition and we need as many of those as we can get. Even if the bride and groom are far from traditional."

I snorted back a laugh at that and rolled my eyes. "Remind me to beat him senseless once I'm changed?"

That earned another quiet laugh from the reserved vampire sitting in front of me. But when he looked around then began to nod, I frowned again in confusion this time. "I'd love to walk you down the isle, Houston."

"Really?" I breathed, relief racing through me at a dizzying rate. "Oh, Jasper!" I grinned and leaned over to hug him quickly before I sat back against my side of the couch. "Thank you so much. I really do appreciate this."

"It's my pleasure." He grinned and even winked at me as his hand moved to cover mine gently. "It's the least I can do and it'll make Alice happy to be able to dress me."

"With a reason this time." I surmised with a small giggle of my own and pulled one of my hands from under his and covered his cold skin with mine. "Really, thank you."

"No need to thank me." I could tell that he was starting to get uneasy by my constant words of thanks, patting my hand before he leaned over and brushed his lips against my forehead then rose to his feet. "I'll let you get back to your reading, let me know if you need anything?"

"Sir, yes sir!" I mock saluted him and grinned up at him, almost narrowly missing the small grimace that crossed his features. "What?" I suddenly began to worry as I sat up a little straighter. "What'd I do wrong?"

"Just been haven't called that in a long time." He hedged, the smile on his face not quite reaching his topaz eyes as he forced his weight to shift from one leg to another. "Did Edward tell you that I was a solider before I was changed?"

"Uh...yeah." I replied slowly as I mentally recounted all of the stories that I'd been told over the past eight months. "But that's all he's ever told me."

A soft sigh escaped Jasper and he was sitting down again before I even thought about blinking. "You're named after my hometown as well, Houston. I was seventeen and living there when I lied about my age to enlist with the Confederate Army."

"What was your last name?" I suddenly wondered, never would have guessing that we had been born in the exact same city. Just centuries apart.

"Whitlock." He revealed with a small grin and slight shrug of his shoulders.

That caused my eyebrows to crease as I mentally went over every single last name I'd heard while in Houston. It felt so long ago since I'd last been in my hometown, where my mother was buried. And I suddenly found myself wanting to go back there. I wanted to visit her grave, at least one more time before my heart stopped beating, but I honestly didn't see if that was going to work out in my favor.

"What's wrong?" Jasper's voice was clear and percise as he sliced through my thoughts effortlessly. I looked up at him in surprise, which faded into confusion just seconds later. "You've become really sad all of a sudden. What were you just thinking about?"

"My mom." I muttered, wincing when my voice cracked around the lump that had formed in my throat. I could talk about my mother easily with Edward, but I always ended up in tears no matter what. I just wasn't so used to talking to any other Cullen about her. Or in Jasper and Rosalie's case, Hale. "I just started wondering if I would be able to convince Edward to let me take one last trip to Houston before I change. My mom's still buried there."

"I'm sure he would work something out for you." Jasper didn't sound the least bit worried as he spoke and covered my hands with his own yet again. "If it makes you happy, I know he's willing to give it to you. It's the same with me toward Alice. You have a very strong bond, probably the strongest I've ever seen between our kind and yours."

"You've never met a vampire that fell for a human?" I'd meant it as a joke but with my voice cracking the way it was, things weren't really coming out right.

"No." He replied and his smile was kind, not condesending. "But I've also spent more time around vampires than I have humans. Did Edward ever tell you how I spent the first part of my new life?"

"He just always says you had a different life than the one he, Rose, and Emmett were born into. He's not very forthcoming with your stories because he's trying to respect your privacy in that way. I only know what you've told me."

With a quiet sigh, Jasper stayed silent for a moment before he launched into the story of his creation. A woman named Maria, along with two companions of convienence, had stumbled upon him and saw potential in him. He'd been very charming in his first life, and was promoted quickly through the ranks of the Confederate Army. It was right then that I remembered where I'd heard the Whitlock surname. It my Texas History books while in school. I announced that with a small smile, and he chuckled in response, but soon began to tell me what really happened in the South during the Civil War and the wars that followed after that between vampire covens. In order to gain land, more territory and power over humans, these vampires had created armies of their own. Armies that consisted of newborn vampires. The same creatures that I would soon turn into. Thirsty, reckless, extremely powerful and fast, but also very volatile.

"Do you think I'll be that bad?" I asked quietly, tears welling up in my eyes yet again once he'd finished the story that I now realized Edward had never wanted to tell me. "Do you think it will be hard for me to stay in control?"

"I honestly don't know, Houston." He replied with a quiet sigh. When he glanced toward the glass wall to my right, I realized that the sun had dipped into the clouds as he told me his past. "I hope not, but it's difficult for everyone. But you have nothing to worry about. You have seven vampires that will do anything needed and required to make things as easy as possible for you."

"Thank you." I grinned once again, more tears swimming in my eyes.

"What have I missed?" Edward's bright voice broke through the fallen tension in the room and a sudden wave of calm hit me hard. I just blinked at Jasper as he rose and lightly slapped his brother's shoulder on his way out the door. "Are you all right, love?"

"Yeah." I nodded and wiped away stray tears before I leaned over and kissed him. "Welcome home, by the way. Did you have a good time?"

"Very." He grinned broadly, but rolled his eyes and slumped against the couch, pulling me with him as he went. "What did you do all day?"

"Read." I muttered and snuggled up against him, making sure that the blanket he insisted on kept me protected from his cold temperature. "And I've been talking to Jasper for a while. He's agreed to walk me down the isle with Esme."

"Really?" The tone of his voice lifted as he shifted to look down at me.

I leaned my head back and nodded. "Really. We won't know what kind of shape I'll be in for the wedding and, well, I just can't imagine walking down the isle any other way. I was going to ask Carlisle but I love the idea of him standing with you and Emmett too much."

"Carlisle will give you away if you want, Houston. All you have to do is ask."

"No." I responded and quickly kissed him before curling against him again. "I like the plans the way they are. But there is one thing I want to ask."

"Anything."

"You're not going to like it." I was stalling.

"Houston." Sighing, he gently lifted me into his lap and curled his palm against my jawline. "Just ask me, I promise I won't get mad at you. What is it?"

"I want to visit my mother's grave." I blurted out suddenly, clenching my eyes shut the way I had when asking Jasper about the wedding. "I want to visit Houston one more time before my heart stops."

"Is that all?" He was laughing. I hadn't been expecting that one. So all I could really do was just stare at him as his body gently shook against mine. "I'm not mad at you for wanting that."

"You're not?" I muttered dumbly, still looking up at him in shock. I'd been so convinced, even though the wish was sudden and overwhelming, that he would decide it was a bad idea. That I wasn't strong enough, or that it would be too dangerous.

"I'm not, I promise." My favorite grin fixed his features as he gently stroked my cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. Edward was quiet long enough to brush a kiss over my forehead before he molded against me a little more, his chin applying the smallest amount of pressure against the top of my head as he gathered me back into his arms. "You know I'll want to go with you, but let me talk to Carlisle. I'll see if I can work this out for you."

"I love you." I sighed happily and fully relaxed against him, my fingers curled lightly into the cloth of his plain, white tee shirt. "You're way too good for me to feel like I deserve it."

"I'm the one who is undeserving." He responded softly and kissed the top of my head before he began to hum what I now realized was my lullaby. The heartbreaking melody that he'd composed when I vanished to Sequim.


	31. Chapter 31

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-One:**

"What have you gotten me into?" I jokingly moaned as I moved slowly through the second level of the house. Alice had blown in through the front door just minutes ago, carrying a large, white garment bag over her shoulder. The bag that carried my dress. She'd told everyone that she was going on a hunting trip, and I just assumed it was a normal hunting trip. I had no idea that she had actually gone overseas to hunt for my _dress._

"I promise, you're going to love it, Houston!" She trilled, her angelic voice vibrant and insanely hopeful. I just shrugged and sighed, finally making it into her room. Rosalie was waiting for me on the other side of the door and quickly scooped me up in her arms.

"You're not supposed to be walking around!" She was still grinning when I was gently plopped down on the edge of Alice's bed, but I could tell that she didn't sound as euphoric as her sister. My suspicions were confirmed when she flew out of the room, leaving me alone with Alice and the daunting garment bag.

"Okay," I sighed and waved my arms dramatically. "Show me what you found."

I'd never seen Alice Cullen move slowly before in my life! She was agonizingly percise with her movements as she hung the bag up and pulled the zipper down. My breathing instantly vanished when I saw my wedding dress for the very first time. The top was corseted to the waist, ties delicated sewn into the back. A wide V of golden fabric started in the middle of the top and tappered off as it flowed into the skirt of the gown. The straps were what I loved the most, tiny strips of fabric hung against the sides of the corset to serve as straps. It looked very old, Victorian was my guess, but the style of the skirt and short train suggested a more modern twist to the romantic design. "What do you think?"

I just sat where I was, with my eyes on the dress as I contemplated the tone of her voice. Anxiety mixed with fear. She was actually _nervous_ about my reaction to the gown. "It's amazing." I sighed and slowly climbed to my feet. She smiled bashfully at me when I reached her side and held the dress up so I could inspect it further. The white satin felt cool and smooth underneath my fingers, reminding me instantly of Edward's skin. I couldn't help but smile as I nodded. "When do you need me to try it on?"

"Well," She started out, the grin slowly forming on her face. "Since the wedding is now days away, I'll need to see if we're going to have to shorten the skirt. Are you still heavily against heels?"

"Yes." I blurted out suddenly with a sharp nod of my head. "My balance isn't everything that it once was and I've...never really been good at the whole high heeled thing."

"Hmm." Alice frowned suddenly and my heart jumped up into my throat. What had I missed? "I'll need to pick out some different shoes for you then."

"Whatever you have is fine." I suddenly announced, changing my mind quickly. I could tell there was something she wasn't telling me. Something she either wouldn't, or could not tell me. So I wasn't about to push things. "Now let's put this all together so you have one less thing to worry about."

Her laughter was infectious as I changed into the dress she had painstakingly searched for. The heels she'd mentioned in her bedroom weren't all that scary as she strapped them to my feet. Honestly, they were so much more secure than the heels I'd worn on my date with Edward, so I wouldn't really have anything to worry about. Plus, I was pretty sure that I wouldn't be spending any time during the wedding by myself. I intentionally kept my eyes off the mirror beside me as I stood up, feeling satin glide over my legs and pool around my feet in an uneven hemline. "Okay," I sighed and twirled slightly to make sure I would be able to keep my balance in my shoes. "Verdict?"

Alice's eyes were bright and she would have probably been crying if her body still achieved that action, when I stopped to face her. "You look so beautiful, Houston. You'd give Edward a heart attack if his heart still beat."

I laughed lightly at the joke in her voice and blushed reflexively. I changed back into my pajamas then and watched as she carefully stowed the dress away so that only she would be able to find it.

"I'm so glad we won't have to make any alterations. I wasn't sure if I could find a dress that would fit you perfectly."

"You did an amazing job." I told her, smiling as my own eyes suddenly began to fill with tears. The final piece to the puzzle was in place. All that was left now was me actually walking down the isle and promising to love Edward for the rest of my natural and unnatural life. The easy part as far as I was concerned.

* * *

The day before the wedding dawned gray and drizzly. Typical Forks weather wouldn't keep Edward indoors on his final day of freedom. My plans for the day, however, were completely different. I had to move slow as I got up and dressed for my dialysis appointment. Carlisle didn't have the equipment needed to treat me at home and he'd explained that it would be more convincing for me to be seen in the hospital, getting treatment for the illness that would eventually claim my life. As far as the town was concerned.

I had no idea what they were planning for when my time ran out and every time I tried to talk to Edward about it, he just silenced me with a dizzying kiss and told me to focus on the wedding. He didn't want me having any unhappy memories on the days leading up to our wedding. So I forced myself not to think about anything unpleasant as I dressed warmly for the day in jeans, a loose tank top and my zip-up hoodie. Even though the weather was exceptionally warm, I still had to dress like it was wintery outside. My immune system was in bad shape, much like the rest of my body.

Pulling my hair up into a messy ponytail as I decended the stairs, I stopped with a small smile when I found Edward at his piano. That was something I very rarely got to see since my weakening state had forced me to be more stationary. Coming up behind him, I knew he would hear me before I made my presence physically known. But that didn't stop me from draping my arms around his neck and resting my chin against his shoulder. "Working on something new?"

"You might say that." He revealed with my favorite smile on his face as his fingers continued to glide over the keys flawlessly. The melody he'd been playing shifted effortlessly into the lullaby he hummed every night to help me sleep more peacefully. Tears sprang to my eyes almost instantly but before I could even think about saying anything, Esme was in the room and pulling me away from Edward.

"I was standing there!" I squealed, not being able to help the small amount of laughter that filled my throat when she set me down in the back of the house. I could see the line of computers that hugged the wall leading into the second entrance into the kitchen, but I focused on my mother-in-law to be with a raised eyebrow. "I was listening to that too."

She was good at overlooking my moment of whininess and shook her head stubbornly. "It's his gift to you for the wedding, you're not allowed to hear it until tomorrow."

"But he's still playing." I complained and even jabbed my thumb in the general direction of where we'd left him.

"Edward." She called out calmly, but I knew he would hear her all the way on the other side of the house. The music stopped almost immediately and I pouted as if on cue. "Besides." She grinned at me again and I wrinkled my nose in attempt to disassuade her. "You have an appointment to get to then we need you back here so that the girls can figure out what to do with your hair."

I decided not to say anything as she smoothly slid behind me and began to pull my hair gently out of the messy ponytail I'd thrown it up in. I heard the soft sigh pass her lips as she gently combed her fingers through my hair appraisingly. "I can't believe how long it's gotten."

"I know." I sighed wistfully, even more grateful now that I would have a head full of hair when my transformation was performed. "I can't bare to cut it, I haven't had my hair this long since before my..."

I didn't need to finish my statement for Esme to hear where it was headed. She stayed silent as her arms wrapped gently around my shoulders, bringing my body back into hers. Edward's mother was deceptively small and I could only hope that I had one tenth of her beauty when I officially joined the family in every way. "Do you think he'll still like how I look?"

My voice was soft with my question but Esme had heard every single word as if I'd been shouting in her ear. She deftly whirled me around to face her and cupped my cheeks with both hands. "Darling, there's no possible way that Edward will ever see you as anything other than stunning. Not everything is going to change about you, Houston. Yes, you will have red eyes for about the first year of your life, but before you know it, your eyes will be the same gold I see in the rest of my family's eyes. Your skin is also going to harden, but I think the transformation will be very good to you."

"Even if I continue to waste away into nothingness." My statement stung, that was evident on her beautiful features and it hurt me just as much to say it. I didn't want Edward eternally linked to a body that would forever look sickly.

"You're still going to be just as beautiful as you were the day you walked into Edward's life. We have no doubt about that."

Oh, I could only hope! Especially with someone as painfully beautiful as Rosalie living in the house. But before I could say anymore, Esme linked her arm through mine and propelled me through the house, toward the front door. "Now, I'm going to be taking you to your appointment. Do you have everything you need?"

"Not yet." I admitted sheepishly, coming to a stop when we reached the staircase that led to the second floor. "I just need to grab my iPod and a book. You don't have to stay with me, Esme. It's just going to be dull and boring."

"Oh I know." She grinned at me and gently ran a hand through my hair again. "Carlisle is working this morning and there are some things I need to discuss with him. After that, I'm going to have to turn you over to Alice's capable hands. She has made quite a schedule for you today."

I groaned instinctively and let my head fall back. "Kill me now." I joked, then straightened up so I could go upstairs and get my things. I should've known that Edward would be faster than I was. In the blink of an eye, he was standing beside me, holding the bag that contained my wallet, iPod, and the book I'd started two days ago. "Here's everything you need."

"Thank you." I smiled up at him, instantly being knocked breathless when his lips curled into the familiar crooked grin I loved so much. Stretching up, I brushed my lips against his then rested back on my feet.

"Hurry back to me." His grin grew more pronounced, causing Esme to nearly explode in happiness. I was permitted one more kiss then was gently being pulled out of the house and into Esme's waiting Mercedes.

It was weird to be riding with Esme. I'd become so used to Carlisle or Edward behind the wheel, but her driving didn't scare me nearly as much as Edward's still did. She was very much like her family though in loving speed and we were at the hospital quicker than I'd imagined. I obediently climbed out of the car and hooked my messenger bag across my body, adjusting the strap as we walked inside. Carlisle was standing in front of the nurse's station, waiting for us when we arrived, and checking in was much always much faster when he was around. But before I could be led back to my designated cot, I groaned inwardly when a familiar face caught my eye. Michael was making his way directly toward us. "Hide me." I whimpered and quickly slipped behind Carlisle.

A look of confusion passed between the Cullen parents, but neither broke their calm facade when Michael suddenly reached us. "You must be Mr. and Mrs. Cullen." He grinned and I peeked out from behind the doctor's shoulder to see him shake hands with the people I considered my parents. "I'm Michael Sherwood, has Houston told you about me?"

"Yes." I jumped in surprise when Esme answered instead of Carlisle. He only responded by reaching around and pulling me protectively against his side. I could clearly see now where Edward had gotten _that_ part of his personality. "She has also told us that she wishes no communication between you two. I'm sorry but we have to respect her wishes. After all, she's family."

"She's my family too." I jumped again and wanted desperately to hide behind them when the sudden venom coated Michael's voice. "I have a right to my daughter."

"Actually," Carlisle stepped in this time and spoke with the clear voice he only reserved for the ER. "I've examined Houston's birth certificate and you aren't listed anywhere in her records. You have no legal claims to her, my wife and I however, do. Please respect her wishes and let her be. She's gone through enough."

"Oh." He suddenly became amused and I wanted to kick him as hard as possible in whichever part of his anatomy that I could reach. "I see." He nodded, almost thoughtfully, then a weird, unfamiliar glint appeared in his dark brown eyes. "You're more than willing to let her marry your son and eventually leave him without her. But I can't get to know my daughter at least a little? That hardly seems fair, Dr. Cullen."

He didn't correct Michael like he normally did when people addressed him that way. The first time I'd ever done so, while standing where I was right then, I'd been told to call him Carlisle. Something I'd been doing every since. "It's what she wants. Marrying our son will make them both very happy. He knows the situation he is getting himself into and we support them both fully. Now, if you'll excuse me." He smiled apologetically at me then gently pushed me into Esme's waiting embrace. "I must check on my patients. I'll see you both later at home." Quick kisses were applied to Esme's cheek, then mine and then he was gone. Esme looked positively daunting as she silently faced off with my birth father, her arm coiled around my waist like a mother lion ready to protect her young at the slightest hint of danger. I was very grateful that she was on my side.

"I don't know how much more clear we can make the situation, Mr. Sherwood. But Houston is our responsibility now. She has done everything she can to politely make her point clear. Please give her that much."

"And how much are you willing to put on that?" Now I understood the strange glint in his eye. He hadn't come to Forks with the hope of getting to know me as his daughter. He'd come for the payoff that the Cullen name could provide. I felt sick to my very core as I continued to stare at him. Esme's arm curled tighter around me, comforting this time instead of protective and began to steer me toward the waiting nurse.

"This is hardly the time and that is hardly the appropriate course of action. Now if you'll excuse me," Her tone became curt as her hand slid down my arm to grasp my fingers in a reassuring gesture. But I couldn't overlook the gentle force behind her movement. "I have to get my daughter to her dialysis appointment. I'm a patient woman but if you keep coming after her for monetary gain, I will take appropriate action."

I didn't give Michael one last long as she led me down the hallway we were supposed to have traveled down long before now. Had I not known about the secret the Cullens kept from the world, I wouldn't have been shaken by her threat to my birth father. For any normal human, she probably would have been threatening to go to the police. But I knew the secrets, and I couldn't shake the images of Esme breaking her abstenance long enough to drain the man harrassing her family. A chill shot down my spine as I lay down on my designated bed, Esme still right beside me. Her eyebrow raised about a fraction of an inch and all I could do was smile sheepishly at her, my insides still reeling from her referring to me as her daughter. "Just imagining what possible action you could take against him."

She laughed lightly, her voice like a chorus of bells as she maintained an innocent expression. "I'm a law-abiding, doctor's wife. I'd go to the police, of course." She shrugged casually but the mischevious glint in her eyes spoke otherwise as she gently squeezed my hand. "If you do not want him in your life, Houston, he won't have a part in it. I'm not going to let him get one cent from our family." She announced suddenly and clearly with a quick nod of her head before she scowled, looking more like a vampire than I'd ever seen her before. "I could _kill_ him for hinting at blackmail. And with you standing directly in front of him!"

"It's fine." I shrugged and looked away, focusing on a curtain across the room. "I'm used to people only wanting me for some kind of further gain."

"Well," She huffed and one glance back at her caught the ending of yet another shrug. "The only thing we want from you is for you to be happy. We want you in our family because we love you."

I could hear the truth in her words as she spoke, and I could feel the same conviction she had spoken with when she continued to hold my hand throughout the dialysis process. Normally I was left alone for this, not wanting this part of my life to leave any member of the Cullens with unhappy memories. Their eyes were sharper than mine, so much more clear and alert, and it churned my stomach to think that I would create horrific images for them to carry through the rest of eternity. Even when I took the final step to stand with them for the rest of that time frame.


	32. Chapter 32

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Thirty-Two:**

"What?!" I squeaked and pouted instantly. I wasn't going to get to go home. What a rip off!

Alice had called Esme right after leaving the hospital, and the two spoke so quiet and fast that my human ears couldn't even hope to keep up. All I knew was there was a change of plans. Another tradition was being forced into the mix. Even though the bride and groom were far from normal. I wouldn't get to see the wedding decorations until after I was dressed and heading down the stairs into the Cullen's living room. Alice was such a brat sometimes!

"It'll be fun." She smiled and squeezed my hand feather-lightly as she drove to a new destination. Apparently, Alice's planning hadn't been limited to my exile from the house. Oh no, that would make things too easy! "Alice just wants to make sure you have the best possible memories from tomorrow. And I happen to agree with her! Which is why I'm taking you to be pampered and spoiled absolutely rotten."

I didn't bother trying to hide the fact that I was fidgeting as she gently rolled the car to a stop in front of some expensive-looking salon. "I'm not cutting my hair!" I demanded once I had stepped out of the car and joined Esme at the trunk. "That's the one thing I won't negotiate on."

"I spoke to Alice about that and she whole-heartedly agreed. We aren't going to do a single thing to your hair, we're just here to see what kind of styles your hair will look best in with the veil." She reached out and lightly ran her stone fingers through my hair, making me sigh and relax visibly. Only a mother had that kind of power behind her touch.

I didn't kick up much of a fuss as I followed her inside, but I wanted to sink into the floor when three women suddenly flanked me and began squealing over me. A glass of water was shoved into my hand and I was rushed to the first phase of my pampering. They had already set everything up, my hair was wet within moments and a woman bent obediently over my right hand. I was powerless. There was no way I could fight Esme _and_ Alice at the same time! And, as I watched Esme watch me be pampered, I didn't have the heart to. The smile on her face was too breathtaking.

* * *

Hours, even though it felt like days, later; I was free from the salon from hell and whisked out to Esme's car. Like promised, the length of my hair hadn't been touched. Some soft layers had been added to play up the thinning that had been caused by years of chemo and radiation, and my dull black haircolor had been lightened to a chestnut brown. Something Esme claimed was much more flattering against my eyes. She had even gone on to tell me that they were much brighter now, filled with more happiness than when I'd first been introduced to Edward's family. My nails had been trimmed and painted for the next day's events, thankfully in a style that I was comfortable with. White cresents lined the ends of my nails and clear polish made my fingers and toes look much healthier than I'd seen them in a long time. The women in Edward's life had been right, I needed a day like this.

But now came the tough part. Spending the night with Margie. That was something I hadn't seen coming.

Shortly after Derrick tried to strangle me, she had kicked him out once and for all. She hadn't taken on any new foster children and wouldn't until after I married Edward. The room that had been mine was offered so that I wouldn't have to spend my final night as a single woman in some dank hotel room. I would be safe and that was what mattered most to my future family. Alice was even staying with me so that she could get me back to the house and ready in time. It had been kind of amusing, hearing that part of the plan. Alice didn't sleep but Margie had insisted on making up a small bed for her on the floor of my former room. If anyone ended up sleeping on it? I was sure it would be me.

But once I was inside the house and back in my former room, I'd received another surprise. Rosalie snuck over to spend the night with us. All of the dirty looks and hate-induced glares were in the past now and she was finally coming around. It felt so good to no longer be at odds with Edward's insanely gorgeous sister, and the atmosphere reflected that when we indulged in the human parts of life. Most of the time had been spent in the living room with Margie. I couldn't begrudge her anything, not when she was already so close to losing me. A movie had been picked out, something insanely sappy and romantic, and we all stretched out to watch. But by the end of the movie, I was curled up against Margie's side, my head resting on her shoulder while Alice curled up on my other side, her head lightly resting in my lap as I played with her short, spiky hair.

Now we were in my former bedroom and both girls had insisted on me turning in early so that I wouldn't have bags under my eyes. Too bad I couldn't sleep to save my life. It was finally happening. All of the planning and agonizing had lead up to this moment. This was my final night as Houston Morgan and the thought of going to sleep tomorrow night as Houston Cullen made me even more nervous than before. Even though I would not be able to have a traditional honeymoon for some time, I still wondered about it as I lay on the futon. I imagined what it would be like to finally undress in front of Edward as my husband. Would he be happy with his wife's body? Would he think I was as beautiful as he always claimed me to be? What would his hands feel like as they traced the scars left from my battle with cancer? Would it be too cold when I laid against him, absolutely no barriers between us any longer?

Those questions were going never going to have answers. I was too weak to indulge in my human desires. As much as I had loathed the idea, I was concievably going to die a virgin. I wouldn't be able to give that part of myself to Edward until years after my transformation. And that was providing things worked out in my favor. Sighing, I turned onto my side and frowned into the darkness.

The small sound caused Alice to stir from her place at the window, her golden eyes acting as a spotlight on my clouded green ones. "Everything okay, Houston?"

I just nodded and pushed my hands under my chin. They were freezing and I knew that I wouldn't be able to warm them up any time soon. Pain was also radiating in my abdomen but thankfully, it was just a low purr at this point. "Just thinking about tomorrow." I sighed and curled my legs a little tighter to my chest. "Do you think everything's going to go okay?"

"It better." She announced quietly then ghosted to the bed. I stayed still as she added her weight to the frame, curling up behind me with her chin resting on my upper arm. Almost exactly like Edward did every night before I went to sleep. "Everything is going to be perfect. You deserve nothing but that. Why, are you afraid you won't be able to go through with it?"

Her round-about way of asking if I was getting cold feet. "I have no doubt that I can go through with marrying Edward. I just..." I sighed and tilted my face into the pillow underneath me, causing Rosalie to turn then and look at me curiously. "The pain's getting worse." I whispered, forcing myself to look up at the ceiling as I dropped my upper body back onto the mattress. Alice conformed with my new position by resting her head on her raised arm and her other hand on my arms, which were curled tightly against my stomach. "I can't block it out as well as I could before. What if I can't block it out tomorrow? I don't want everyone to see me double over in pain just because my liver isn't functioning anymore."

"That won't happen." I jumped a little in surprise when Rosalie spoke and appeared on my other side. Her hand fluttered over my blanketed thigh before coming to rest on my other arm. "You're going to have an amazing day."

"Rose's right." Alice agreed and I could see the faint smile she flashed at her sister before looking at me again. "You're going to be absolutely gorgeous in your dress tomorrow. Edward won't be able to take his eyes off you the entire time. You're going to stand up there and declare your love and then later, you're going to dance the night away with us. It's going to be fine, Houston. You _have_ to believe and trust that."

I nodded with a quiet sigh and let my eyes close. I'd been fighting back sleep for so long that it suddenly crashed into me without warning. I was vaguely aware of Alice and Rosalie's movements as sleep fogged my mind and numbed my limbs. I could just barely hear them rejoin each other at the window when I willingly let myself get lost in thoughts of an actual honeymoon with Edward. It was too intoxicating of a world and I was finally so close to getting every single thing my heart had silently yearned for.

Sure, as I lay dreaming of Edward's perfect hands sliding over my body, I wished that things were different. In my dreams I was always so healthy and beautiful. I looked nothing like the reflection I saw in the mirror. Maybe it was my subconscious getting me ready for the big transformation, I honestly wasn't sure. But I didn't protest or even try to wake myself as the dream progressed naturally. Of course, Edward was careful as he laid over me, his body seemingly matching up perfectly against mine. His touch was feather-light and abnormally icy, but there was no denying the sparks of heat that only he could ignite. The slow burn was the best kind of heaven my mind could ever create, but suddenly, my dream shifted and the euphoric heat building in my body became painful. I flinched in my sleep when I screamed in my dream. The pain was just _so bad_ and I couldn't block it out. Even with Edward laying over me, taking the last piece of innocence that I'd managed to keep, I was writhing in pain. But there was just so much of it that I couldn't exactly figure out just where it was coming from. Some part of my body was being lit on fire and I couldn't pinpoint anything to try and extinguish it. I wanted so badly to return to the building waves of pleasure, but they were somehow being cut off from me. I couldn't understand it, I couldn't figure out anything and I felt even more helpless, laying trapped underneath the man that had made me feel alive for the first time in over seven years.

I wasn't aware that I was actually screaming until I felt a pair of cold hands gripping my shoulders tightly. "Houston! Wake up!"

I awoke with a jerk, my body revolting against the pain that had leaked into my fantasies as I vaulted into a sitting position. Alice was on the bed with me again, Rosalie still standing at the window. Or at least, I _hoped_ it was Rosalie. "What...?" I muttered sleepily and reached up to wipe away the tears that had begun to streak down my cheeks.

Alice released me and leaned back enough so that she wouldn't have to crane her neck to watch my movements. Not that she would be in any kind of physical pain. I fell back against the mattress almost automatically and curled up on my side, practically shoving my knees against my shoulders as I buried my face in the blankets I'd been swaddled in. "You had a nightmare." Even when she was stressed out, her voice was still like a windchime blowing gently in an invisible breeze. I didn't have to look up to know that she was staring at me worriedly. I could even feel Rosalie's eyes on me as I curled as tightly as possible in my bed. The pain hadn't been in my dream, it had been in my reality, just waiting for me to reconnect enough to make it's full presence known.

A noise came from the foot of the bed and I recoiled violently when light flooded the room. "I heard screaming, is everything all right?" Margie's worried voice just made me feel even worse than I possibly could right then.

I forced myself to relax as Alice shifted ever so slightly next to me. "She just had a nightmare, and she was complaining about some pain earlier."

"Houston?" I forced myself to relax and stretch my legs out as I turned my head toward the sound of Margie's voice. "Do you want to take a painpill?"

"No." I muttered and shook my head as violently as I could, considering I was still laying down and resembling a ball. "No painpills. I'll still be feeling them tomorrow."

Somewhere in the room, someone sighed. I had a feeling it was Rosalie but I didn't bother looking up to see. A warm hand flattened over my forehead before moving into my hair. "There's no shame in needing your medication, sweetheart. It'll probably even help you sleep more comfortably."

"No." That time I did sit up, fixing my bleary stare on my former foster mother. "It's nothing I can't handle, I'll be fine." I sighed and found myself falling back once again with a quiet sigh. "I just want to go back to sleep." I muttered and curled back up into a ball, this time with my back facing Alice. Rosalie had moved from the window and was sitting on the palette that Margie had made for Alice. All an act, I could see it in the way her legs were crossed at the ankles. Too much tension. But...what did she have to be tense about?!

I didn't get a chance to figure that answer out. The pain was still burning through my mind, body, and senses when I forced my eyes closed again. But instead of letting myself get lost in dreams of a honeymoon with Edward, I dreamed of making it through my wedding day like any normal girl in my position would. I just hoped that I would have enough strength to give my groom at least a sliver of the happiness he gave me on a daily basis.


	33. Chapter 33

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: When I wrote the description for Houston's dress and hair, I had the mental image of how Taylor Swift looks in her video for 'Love Story'. Just wanted to let you guys know in case a more clear picture of how she looks is needed. _

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Three:**

My mother had always called her wedding day the day of wreckoning. I wasn't entirely sure what it had meant at the time, since she absolutely refused to talk about what her wedding to my father had been like. But she told me some of the details. I'd seen the pictures of her in her wedding dress, looking more like a fairytale princess than the actual princesses in the books she read to me at bedtime. She'd been happy on her wedding day, her smile always lit up her entire face. Now it was my turn.

I swallowed thickly to keep the new wave of tears away as Alice moved meticulously in front of me. She'd only finished my makeup just minutes before, but was already finding mistakes with her flawless eyes. She'd accidentally poked me in the eye twice when applying eyeliner and as a result, my entire right eye was rimmed in crimson. Rose had surprisingly been confident when she soothed her sister.

"When am I allowed to get up?" I muttered, my words marred slightly since my chin was in Alice's ice grip and the tip of a lipgloss brush was sliding over my bottom lip. "And I want to still look like me, Alice!"

She laughed and straightened up as she capped the gloss and took an exaggerated step back to see the finished product. I'd asked Rosalie to keep my hair simple, but of course, she hadn't listened to a single word I said. My bangs had been cut to sweep over my forehead and left eye, with the rest of my hair styled into millions of ringlet curls. The cascade had been pulled up and secured against the back of my head, a few tendrils dangling around my bare neck and shoulders, and a tiny, silver and jewel-encrusted headband had been pinned against my hairline, right above my forehead, with the ends tucked effortlessly into the mass of curls. "Right now!" Alice squeaked out, her bright smile nearly blinding and clapped her hands lightly. "But no mirrors yet."

I just rolled my eyes and carefully climbed to my feet. Some higher force was obviously on my side today. My dialysis appointment had drained the built-up fluid in my abdomen and Alice was happy that my stomach once again looked flat as a board. I had to hold onto Rosalie's shoulder as I stepped into the dress, keeping my arms raised as Alice gently pulled the satin up and then slid the tiny sleeves into place around my biceps and tightened the corset around my back. Fate was smiling on me once more. The dress still fit just as well as it had the day I'd first seen it.

"Okay!" Alice clapped and bounced back to inspect me some more. If she kept doing that, my complex was going to get even bigger!

Rosalie came up behind me to secure my veil onto the ends of the headband, hiding the hem of the veil under my curls, just as a soft knock sounded at the door. I gasped quietly in surprise when I found Margie sweep into the room, already crying. I had actually seen that one coming.

"You look so beautiful!" She breathed and pulled me into a delicate hug.

I laughed lightly and, of course, blushed as she stepped back to dig through the purse she had in a deathgrip. A purse that I'd never seen in her closet before. Esme. Of course. "Thank you." I muttered weakly, my voice cracking at least once since I was having to fight back tears even more now. Margie produced a small box as Alice led me back over to the chair I'd all but been tied to, and held it open for me.

"I know you aren't biologically my daughter, but I wanted you to have this. I wore it when I married my Daniel."

Another gasp filled my throat when I saw the beautiful, delicate necklace that was partially hidden under soft folds of white satin. I couldn't help but laugh a little at my shaking hands as I reached in and withdrew the piece of jewelry. It was a painfully thin, silver chain with the most delicate charm I'd ever seen before in my life. The cross was simple in it's perfection and I stood as I held the necklace out for her. "Will you?"

Her smile was watery as she took the necklace and secured it around my neck once I'd turned my back to her. A wave of relief swept through me when she gently placed curly tendrils over the thin chain. I turned quickly and pulled her into another hug, only becoming aware of the tears when Alice started to verbally stress beside me.

"You're going to ruin your makeup!" She cried.

I laughed in spite of myself as I pulled away from Margie after kissing her cheek and carefully dabbed at my eyes with my fingers. "Sorry! Sorry!"

She relaxed at once and let a new smile spread across her face slowly. "We have old. Now you just need new, blue, and borrowed."

I looked at her curiously for a moment then jumped slightly in surprise when Alice's hand raised to reveal a blue garter. "Mine and this also counts as borrowed. I want it back." She winked at me conspiritously, I blushed then she disappeared long enough to yank the hem of my dress up.

"Good thing you're saving the shoes for last!" I blurted out with a breathless laugh when my balance swayed. I raised my leg obediently and the garter was soon in place against my right thigh.

Alice was laughing quietly when she reappeared. "Now for the final piece."

"My turn." Rosalie said quietly from behind me. I turned and my eyes widened instinctively when I saw the bracelet in her open palm. "Edward got this for you when he found your ring." Her tone was still quiet with her announcement and I was hesitant as I reached out to take the silver, chain-linked bracelet from her. The actual chain looked old, but in pristine condition and there were only two charms linked to the bracelet. The heart-shaped crystal flashed violently in the overhead light and I gasped in surprise. That prompted Rosalie to go on, a small smile appearing on her features as she studied my reaction. "He told me to tell you that the heart belonged to his mother, to remind you of him when you're wearing it. The other charm is all for you though."

That was when I noticed the small, silver ribbon. It matched the links almost perfectly and I didn't resist the urge to gently slide my thumb over the smooth surface. "Why?" I muttered dumbly, not the least bit upset when the three other women in the room laughed gently at me.

"I'll tell you later." Alice was the one that answered me, winking at me mysteriously again before the chain was clasped around my wrist. I continued to stare at the charms as they ushered me back into the chair so that I could have my shoes put on. Once those were in place, I was finally allowed to leave the room.

Margie stayed close to my side as she led me to the second floor landing. Esme and Jasper were waiting for me, bright smiles on both of their breath-taking faces.

"You look exquisite." Esme breathed, her eyes and lips tightening as she briefly embraced me then stepped back. She was dressed in a soft eggshell colored dress, the fabric accentuating her immortal body perfectly and her carmel curls were piled perfectly atop her head. Alice and Rosalie stayed with me as Margie departed, claiming she wanted a good seat so she could see me perfectly as I walked down the isle. It tore at me to watch her decend the stairs, knowing that I probably wasn't going to see her after today.

"You look very beautiful, Houston." Jasper smiled warmly at me before flickering his eyes toward his true love.

"Well..." I sighed with a small shrug of my shoulders, a small smile hinting at the corners of my lips. "I'm no Alice, but hopefully I'll do."

Everyone laughed at that and Alice hugged me before she turned to pick up the three waiting bouquets. White roses. Of course. I held my own bouquet, which had a flowing gold ribbon dangling underneath the wicker stem that held the roses, which were meticulously mixed with bright yellow roses, in a death grip and took a deep breath as I moved to stand between Esme and Jasper.

"As soon as I move, count to five then follow." Alice muttered, probably aiming her directions at Esme and Jasper, then turned to take her place behind Rosalie.

"You'll be fine." Jasper soothed quietly in my right ear, his hand lightly patting the small of my back. I'd completely forgotten that he would be able to feel my anxiety as clearly as if I'd verbally announced it. My heart was hammering in my chest, but before I could get that under control, Rosalie was moving. Her dress, which was the purest of gold, shimmered in the bright lighting and contrasted vibrantly against her long blonde hair. Alice's dress was almost exactly the same color, just a shade darker and her pixie hair was slicked and pinned back by countless, hidden bobbypins.

"I know I will." I breathed and a wide smile refused to leave my face when I took that first step off the landing, toward my awaiting groom. My entire focus was on making it down the stairs without falling. Esme and Jasper's grip on my arms didn't slacken until we came off the final stair and turned to walk into the living room. It had been completely transformed, ribbons of white and gold mixing intricately with white and yellow roses sewn throughout the sophisticated knots. The sight of my birthplace's State flower mixed into the wedding decorations brought tears to my eyes, but they dried up instantly when I saw Edward for the very first time.

My first instinct was to pull away from Esme and Jasper and run to him. I no longer feared tripping or having to stop to catch my breath. I didn't even worry about doubling over in pain as I slowly made my way toward my destiny. He looked perfect, of course. His hair was tousled and vibrant in the candles that lined the walls, casting a soft glow over the small audience that had joined to see me and Edward tie ourselves to each other in the most human of traditions. His suit jacket and pants were jet black, with a crisp, white button down shirt and gold tie completing the look. The contrast of colors against his skin and eyes took my breath away, but I kept smiling as I walked. My mind worked frantically to commit every single thing to memory. The sparkle in his butterscotch eyes, the wide grin that stretched his marble skin, and his arms locked loosely behind his back. Behind him, Carlisle and Emmett were also grinning widely. Their teeth sparkled in the light, but it wasn't the overpowering reminder of their true nature. It was simply the love of my existance waiting for me to join him at the alter, with two of the most important people in his life standing to show their support.

I finally reached the white archway that was lined with ribbons and roses, tears filling my eyes yet again when cold lips touched my cheeks briefly then I was free. I didn't even think about hesitating as I slid my hand into Edward's, my grin growing bigger when he curled my arm into his and held me protectively at his side as we faced the minister.

"Dearly beloved..."


	34. Chapter 34

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Four:**

I was no longer Houston Elizabeth Morgan.

My heart was still beating wildly as I stood beside Edward, grinning from ear to ear as we patiently met our friends and family. It was weird to now be addressed as Mrs. Cullen, but something I would happily get used to. My wildest of dreams had come true and the tiny band around my left finger proved it. When I'd first mentioned the idea of wedding rings, I figured that Edward would just brush it off as some trite, human thing. But right after the traditional vows and 'I Do's, he'd surprised me by slipping a matching band onto my finger. I almost fell over in surprise when it was my turn to place a wide, blindlingly silver ring on the third finger of his left hand. It would later pretend to be his purity ring, he'd whispered in my ear when we walked down the isle toward the reception party that Alice had carefully planned for us.

But all of that left my head quickly when I looked up to see four impossibly beautiful figures walking toward me, with Carlisle at their side. Even though I'd only heard bits and pieces about the other clan of vegetarian vampires, I knew that these four beings could only be the Denali clan. The closest thing to family that the Cullens had in their lives.

"It's so nice to finally meet you." The first one, a tall beauty with strawberry blonde curls grasped my free hand briefly with a blinding smile on her perfect face. This woman had to be Tanya, the glorious vampire that had once had her eyes set on Edward.

"It's nice to meet you too." I admitted sheepishly and my cheeks began to flame as she lightly grasped my hand then dropped it and stepped aside. Behind her, the other three stared at me anxiously and I felt even more out of place around such beauty. I hadn't even gotten to the point where I felt good enough for Edward and now I had to condend with three gorgeous female vampires that knew more about my groom than I did.

But I pushed it all away and smiled warmly as I met Kate, Carmen, and Eleazer. Even though they were staring at me like I was some sort of rare creature, their golden eyes were warm as they appraised me. I couldn't help but wonder how Edward had been before I came into his life. Had the loneliness _really_ been that bad?! After promising to make time to talk to them later, the line moved more fluidly after that. Edward didn't release my hand as we greeted the rest of our guests, and I could barely get the mental images of the Denali clan not approving of me out of my head.

Once the last guest passed us, the party truly began. Almost instantly, I could tell that all of the music I'd put in my iPod had been hijacked and constructed into a long playlist. The grass was still damp from an early morning rainstorm, but the sun had set enough that no one would stand out in the crowd. My family wouldn't have to worry about becoming walking diamonds among humans. Edward seemed to know that I needed to sit down, relief flooding through me when he gently guided me over to an empty table instead of sweeping me onto the dance floor. Alice had been the one to suggest the idea of a first dance, but no one really stood around to wait for that to be out of the way. I had no idea what song had been picked for our first dance as husband and wife, and as I slid into a cushioned, white wooden chair; I began to wonder what would always remind me of this milestone in our life.

Edward didn't say anything as he smoothly appeared in the chair next to me, his fingers still linked devotedly through mine. His bright eyes scanned the crowd and a small smile touched his face when we noticed his family gliding effortlessly on the large dance floor that had been nailed down about halfway between the house and the trees. Large poles marked the perimeter of the reception area, white and gold ribbons floating in the light breeze with bouquets like the one I'd carried through the ceremony secured to the top of the poles, ribbons dangling between each of the silver guiders. Candles encased in glass were in the middle of each table, holding the white linen tablecloths in place over round tables. It was like some fairytale dream come true, and all of it centered around the most beautiful part of my fairytale. A small smile touched my lips as my eyes fell from his profile to his left hand, which was resting casually on the table. His new accessory gleamed vibrantly in the limited source of light and his eyes were on me before I realized that my heart had sped. "What're you thinking?"

His question came with a smile, causing me to climb out of my chair and slide into his lap. His arms wound around me almost instantly as I linked my arms around his neck loosely, being mindful of the tiny sleeves that wound around my arms. At least I'd been able to lose the veil. "I'm thinking that..." I sighed and trailed off as I looked away, purposely drawing everything out. I laughed lightly when I heard his frustrated sigh, reminding me that he hated not being able to just pull the rest of my sentence from my mind. "I was trying to remember when I've been this happy."

"Any luck?" The frown on his face disappeared and was replaced by my favorite, crooked smile. My stomach flipped in response and my heart thudded faster in my ears when he kissed my neck. "You look absolutely breathtaking today, Houston."

"You sound like I never look pretty." I muttered jokingly, not being able to help myself as I carefully resituated myself in his lap. With the smooth fabric of the dress, I was finding it difficult to keep from sliding right out of his lap! Again, his eyes were too quick for me and his arms wound tighter around my tiny waist.

Another kiss was pressed against my still-racing pulse, but then his lips drifted lower and my heart all but stopped. His cool breath tickled my skin, but instead of squirming like I normally did, goosebumps broke out against my flesh. That seemed to amuse him and he laughed quietly against my exposed neck. "You always look amazing to me, love. But now," He paused long enough to look up at me and my heart sped even more furiously when his eyes smoldered into mine. "Everyone is seeing what I always see. You honestly wouldn't believe what some people are thinking about you."

My cheeks flamed and I had to look away before I completely melted under his intense gaze. "You're right." I nodded once then found myself looking at him again as I smiled. "I wouldn't. But since I'm now your wife, your opinion is the only one that matters to me."

"Hmmm," His lovely face became even more beautiful to me when he grinned slyly, his eyes lightening ever so slightly but still smoldered. "You do happen to have a point, Mrs. Cullen."

A chill shot down my spine without warning, which meant that I couldn't keep it from Edward's notice. His embrace tightened instinctively, but loosened after a few minutes when I was still smiling. "That's gonna take some getting used to." I sighed happily and shifted just enough to lightly rest my temple against his flawless shoulder. His tie was loosened now, and I knew he would lose the jacket just as soon as he could manage it without upsetting Alice. But I'd never seen him look as perfect as he did right then. Even though he'd said that I was beautiful, and offered to provide proof, I still had my moments of insecurity. It was probably stupid and senseless, since he had followed through and tied himself to me. It was the least binding of the promises made, but they still meant the world to me. He wasn't human, far from it actually, but yet he had indulged me and let me have a day that I never would've had otherwise. I still couldn't believe that all of this was happening to me, that I'd somehow gotten lucky after all, that I'd been allowed to love this beautiful person so completely that it made everything I had to go through so much easier to bare.

Alice appeared quite literally out of nowhere. One minute I was getting lost in the happy little bubble that always enveloped me in Edward's presence, and the next I was being pulled back to reality by his sister. "Time for the first dance!" She chirped, her expression and voice chipper.

I grimaced on sheer reflex and Edward's hand started to move soothingly over the back of my bare shoulders. I shivered a little at the comforting touch, no longer surprised by his cold temperature and started to pout.

"Only if Houston is up to it." He decided, looking up at his sister as he spoke.

"I'm okay." I nodded stubbornly and realized abruptly that there was no pain swirling around in my belly. I was completely free to enjoy the day, just as I'd prayed for countless times.

Edward studied my serene expression for a few minutes, then smiled and gently pushed me up to my feet. I swayed slightly on my feet thanks to the heels still strapped around my ankles, causing him to wind an arm around my back before he gently moved me to the dance floor. The music stopped abruptly and I looked up to see Carlisle near the DJ's little stand. It would've made me snicker, to see a human man DJing a reception thrown by a family of vampires, but I couldn't bring the sound to my lips. Instead I just smiled and hastily wiped away tears when Carlisle brought a microphone to his lips.

"It's my great pleasure to announce that Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen will now have their first dance as husband and wife." His voice was steady and calm, causing the dance floor to clear of everyone but me and my groom. I turned dutifully and rested my arms against his, since my dress wouldn't allow me to wrap my arms around his neck the way I wanted. He didn't look the least bit preturbed as he gathered me in his arms and began to sway as the music started. Of course, it was my favorite song, one I had played for Edward during one of the first nights we spent together after being assigned the Physics project. I hadn't been sure at the time if he would remember me ever playing that song by Keith Urban. But now, as we glided in perfect harmony with the soothing melody, I realized that he had. Just as I had done, he'd commited everything to memory.

"Thank you." I sighed happily and once again rested my temple against his chest. My arms curled up against his sides as he moved to wrap his arms around my shoulders lightly.

"For what?" His quiet voice was like honey and I snuggled even closer to him in response.

"For making my dreams come true. Even the ones I didn't know existed."

He was careful as he kissed my hair-covered forehead then rested his cheek gently against my pile of curls. "You've made my dreams come true also, Houston. I always wonder if you know just what you've done for me."

That caused me to look up at him quickly, surprise etched in every single line on my face. "What dreams did I make come true?"

Edward was quiet as we continued to sway with the music, his lips flattening into a straight line as his eyebrows puckered slightly. "I thought I would never find what my family has. Part of me resigned itself to always being the odd man out. But then you came along and you changed everything. Change doesn't happen very often for my kind, but when it does? It's completely unalterable. It may have taken me a while, but I realized a long time ago that I'll never be able to love anyone nearly as much as I love you. My heart hasn't beat in nearly ninety years, but you're the first woman to ever cast some kind of impression on it. Because of that, you saved me."

The smile forming on my face was slow as I processed his words. I couldn't believe that he felt almost exactly the same about me as I felt about him. I'd never given falling in love a second thought. It was always something that would happen to everyone but me. "You saved me too." I announced quietly, my head still tilted so I could stare into the most beautiful pair of eyes that I'd ever seen. "You gave me something to keep fighting for, I'll never be able to repay you for that. For...any of this. It all still feels so surreal sometimes. Like I'm in this beautiful dream, always on the verge of being woken up and thrown back into a reality where you don't exist."

"I shouldn't exist." He sighed unhappily and my heart lurched when his face darkened. But it was just for a split second. He smiled at me again before I could fully register the sad expression on his face. "But this is your life, Houston. This is _our_ life, I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours for the rest of eternity, Mrs. Cullen."

Even though I couldn't forget the look of ancient sadness that had just crossed his face, I felt my lips curve into a familiar smile that only he inspired. "And I'm yours for the rest of eternity, Mr. Cullen."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me." He laughed quietly, yet exuberantly in my ear then lifted me off the floor and spun around once, quickly, as the song drew to it's conclusion.


	35. Chapter 35

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended. Please review!_

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**Chapter Thirty-Five:**

The moon looked positively magical as it bounced off the waves gently crashing against the shore. Edward had completely outdone himself with our honeymoon destination. Of course, I'd been completely left in the dark, not knowing where we were until I'd stepped off the boat and onto a small deck.

The island was small and beautifully shrouded in trees, sandy paths weaving in and out of the treeline in various, random spots. When we'd first boarded a plane in Seattle, I'd had no idea that it would take _quite_ so long to reach this spot of perfection. But now, in the glorious house that Esme had restored, the weary hours on the plane and later, a sailboat commanded by Edward, were more than worth it.

Just like the house in Forks, the first floor was mostly void of walls and created a wide, flowing living space. The decor was the same as in Forks, light colors splashed tastefully throughout the first floor. It wasn't until I reached the second floor that I saw the differences between this house and the one I called home. There were several different rooms located off the second floor landing. Each had their own little theme or some kind of rhyme to the decorations. Edward put our stuff in a breath-taking white room that overlooked the nearby beach. There was a large bed positioned in the middle of the room, facing the large, French double doors that led out to a balcony. The doors were open, but it still felt stuffy in the house to me. I tried to overlook that though and reached out to touch the mosquito netting that covered the grand bedframe and mattress. It seemed all-too fiting to spend my first night as a new bride in a room completely comprised of white hues.

"What do you think?" Edward's breath was cool in my ear as he came up behind me, gently twining his arms around my waist as I continued to stare at the oversized bed in front of me. This was Esme's island, a gift from Carlisle. Now I completely understood my groom's compulsion to try and give me the finer, more expensive, things in life. Aqquired skill, no doubt.

"It's gorgeous." I breathed and leaned my head back against his shoulder instinctively. His arms tightened ever so slightly around the long, flowy blue sundress that Alice had dressed me in once the reception was concluded. I was still extremely grateful that Michael had decided not to crash any of the day's activities and try to act like my father. I had my family now. I was a Cullen in almost every single sense of the word.

"How do you feel?" I could hear the worried undercurrent in his voice and shifted in his arms to face him better.

I smiled gently up at him as I wound my arms around his neck and leaned my lower body against his innocently. "I'm still okay. Did you know that you're a perfect painkiller? I haven't felt anything all day."

"I love hearing that." He grinned brightly at me and leaned down to press his cold lips to my sweaty forehead. He pulled away though and worry creased his forehead instantly. "Are you sweating because of the lack of air conditioning or because of your illness?"

"House." I replied automatically, still feeling more perfect than I'd felt in a very long time. If anything, I felt completely normal. It all felt normal, standing in the middle of a white-shrouded room in the arms of my husband. "It's just stuffy in here, that's all."

"Sorry." Edward muttered beautifully, his angel's face converting to apprehension and embarrassment abruptly. "I figured that would be best in case..."

"In case what?" I asked and raised an eyebrow slightly as I tilted my head back to look at him more clearly. The only light in the room was streaming in from the moon outside, so I couldn't see his face as clearly as I wanted.

"In case you wanted to try and make this a normal honeymoon." He admitted bashfully and I was quick to rack my brain for any memory of him ever sounding like this. I'd been completely convinced that..._that_ part of our marriage wouldn't happen until after my transformation. And while it did make me anxious that I would have to wait so long, worrying if I would ever crave his touch as much as I did now, I was still willing to go along with his rules. He sacrificed enough where I was concerned, and I had no problems making sacrifices of my own. Especially the most important one, only because Edward had transformed that for me. I'd never wanted to be with anyone the way I wanted to be with him.

My breath caught in my throat as his words tumbled over and over in my head. Was it really possible? Would we be able to have that closeness between us while I was still human and stuck in a dying body? It didn't sound possible to me and one look at the pained expression on his face confirmed that he seemed to echo my sentiment. He didn't trust himself in that arena. "As much as I would love to...you don't look like you trust yourself."

Even though he didn't need to hold his breath, the humanistic action concluded in him exhaling loudly. His breath caressed my face gently and I closed my eyes to savor the scent. "If it makes you happy, though..."

"Edward," I sighed and twisted away from him ever so slightly. How could I possibly tell him that there was really only one thing left standing in my way? "I'm scared."

"You have nothing to be scared of." He was practically breathing his words out now as he stared at me. I could see his eyes darken in the dim light and realized that he was drawing the wrong conclusions. Just by the look on his face, I was sure that he thought I was scared of him hurting me.

"I'm not scared of you." I sighed and pulled his hand from the small of my back and craddled it in mine against my chest. "I'm scared...of you seeing me like that. I'm not exactly in the best shape of my life, Edward. And I've never been naked in front of you before."

"My love," He sighed and the intoxicating scent of his breath washed through my senses yet again, rendering me dizzy for a brief second before his words brought me back into our conversation. "You have nothing to fear, I promise. My opinion of you will never change, you're always going to be the most beautiful thing in my world."

"You say that now." I muttered darkly and cut my eyes away from his impossibly beautiful face. I started to fidget then, when words suddenly failed me and soon just stood there, staring up at him again helplessly with my shoulders sagging. "It's not that I don't want to, I promise that I want you more than I'll ever be able to say. But can we just...can you give me a little more time?"

"Of course." Edward nodded his head a fraction of an inch then the crooked smile I loved most graced his features. His eyes were even sparkling as he pulled me into his arms and kissed my hair. I could already tell that it was going to become even more difficult to keep certain barriers between us now. But for the first time in a long time, I was overwhelmed with the knowledge that we would soon have all the time in the world to let ourselves live in the moments that had been forbidden to us for so long.

I couldn't help but smile as I sat under a large oak tree. The sun was out and throwing the brightest rays across the ocean, making the waves glitter more than normal. Even though it was warm outside, there was a slight chill to the spray blowing off the sea in an intoxicating aroma. The blanket I'd found in a downstairs cabinet was drapped over my lap and my ever-present hoodie hid my upper body from view. But it felt nice, even though it was cold, to let the wind tangle my hair and mist my face.

"I was wondering where you'd gotten off to." Edward appeared, quite literally, out of nowhere behind me. I jumped slightly and slapped my hand over my chest as I tilted my head to smile up at him. The sunlight was glittering vibrantly across the bare skin along his arms, neck, chest, and face. He wore his long sleeve shirt open with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and loose khakis. His bare feet were slightly obscured by the sand as he gracefully plopped down beside me and stretched his long legs out next to mine.

"I still can't get over how beautiful this place looks." I sighed happily, the smile never leaving my face as I looked away from him and out to the water. I couldn't help but wonder what the water felt like, if the sunshine was warming the water to the perfect temperature. Of course, my body couldn't handle anything but scalding hot bathwater now, but that didn't stop me from envisioning myself getting lost in the surf.

I wasn't entirely sure of my facial expressions as I daydreamed, but something must have looked off to Edward. His hand slid into mine without any hesitation and the fingers of his free hand gently swiped underneath my left eye to trap fallen moisture. I hadn't realized that I had tears in my eyes until I looked over and found my husband staring at me unhappily. "What's wrong, Houston?"

"Nothing." I shook my head slightly as I spoke and did my best to give him an encouraging smile. I failed though, and we both seemed to know that as he gently pulled me up against his side. "I'm just..." Sighing as I trailed off, I shrugged my free shoulder then wrapped my arms around his cold ribcage. "I was imagining what it would be like to play in the waves. Not have a care in the world. All I've ever wanted was to be normal. To experience normal things."

"If you could do anything, what would it be?" His quiet question startled me, causing me to tilt my head to look up at him as I mulled his inquiry over in my mind. If I could do anything, what _would_ I want to do? I honestly didn't know how to answer that question. There were so many things that I'd missed out on growing up, things that I would never get back.

"I'd want to be with my husband." I practically whispered, my throat closing just enough to strain my words as I looked back out at the bright ocean in front of us. I hadn't really expected him to say anything, probably ask what I meant by being with him, but I didn't expect it when his lips suddenly brushed over the side of my throat. His breath was cool against my ear and made me shiver as I curled against him automatically. His kisses traveled lower and by the time he reached the curve of my throat, I couldn't surpress the small sigh that filled my throat. The next series of movements were so fast that I wasn't even sure of what was going on until I was still yet again.

Edward's lips continued to travel along my collarbone as I now sat straddled in his lap, my head tilted as far back as it could possibly go. I had always been so used to the careful lines that made up the physical side of our relationship that a surprised gasp passed my lips when I was able to take at least a part of stock in how we were sitting. My husband felt very much like a mortal man underneath me, his useless breathing labored as he pushed himself to the proverbial limit by chastely gliding the tip of his tongue over the bone indentions in my skin. Another gasp resonated through me and I could only react by clenching my fists in his hair and shirt as my hips rolled into his involuntarily.

A low hiss passed Edward's lips then and he paused with his cold mouth precariously clamped over my collarbone. "You're going to be the death of me, Houston."

"You started it." I breathed and straighened up long enough to pull his face to mine. If I'd been able to feel anything other than the electric heat now coursing though my veins like wildfire, it would have hurt to have my lips crash against his as violently as they did. But there was no pain. The only thing I could clearly focus on was the glorious creature holding me so protectively against his chest as we kissed the breath out of each other. Even though I still wasn't ready to take that next step, to risk his worst fear coming true, it was enough. The delcious torture of his lips against mine, his hands gliding underneath the thick cotton of my hoodie to create a cold sort of heat against my paper-thin tank top, was the best kind of heaven my body would allow me to experience right then.


	36. Chapter 36

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: The final chapter! I've already started a sequel to this but please feel free to let me know if you guys would like to read more about Edward and Houston. Reviews make the world go 'round and I would definitely love to know what you guys think! And the final chapter that cemented the story's M rating._

_Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullens, I own the original characters. This is just for entertainment reasons, no infringement or slander intended._

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**Chapter Thirty-Six:**

The air was nearly stifling as I gingerly stepped out of the black Mercedes Carlisle had lent us for the trip. I had finally come back to the beginning of my story.

Squinting against the sun, I carefully pushed the passenger door back into the frame of the car and took an unsteady step into the dry, yellowing grass. It was abnormally hot in Houston, and time away had cost me my immunity to the humid air. I sighed quietly as I continued moving, memories from when I was nine sprang painfully to my mind. I hadn't thought about my mother's funeral in so long, but now that I was standing in the cemetary she'd been buried in, I couldn't escape them. I could still remember how she looked in her coffin. Her cheeks had sunken in so much that it looked like the bones of her skull would penetrate her skin at any given moment. The dress she had picked out hung over her skeleton like a veil and just made her look even smaller against the satin lining and pillow.

My throat constricted as I came to a stop in front of a flat headstone, the name _Angela Elizabeth Morgan_ along with her birth and death dates etched into the gray, smooth granite. I could feel the tears building up against my eyes and jumped slightly in surprise when something cold suddenly squeezed my hand. I didn't have to look up to know who it was, though. Edward had broken his promise to stay in the car and braved the sunshine to comfort me. The collar of his shirt was pulled up and tucked underneath his unruly hair, which sparkled brightly in the overhead sun. He wore a baseball cap low over his forehead and his shirtsleeves were rolled all the way down. The only part of his skin that reacted to the sunlight was the hand gripping mine, his other hand was shoved deeply into the pocket of his jeans. "You didn't have to come out here." I breathed, tears finally spilling down my cheeks as I continued to stare at my mother's grave marker.

"I wanted to." He replied quietly and gently pulled me up against his side. My hands flattened against my thighs as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gently crushed me against his cold body. "I meant it when I promised that you wouldn't have to go through anything alone ever again."

"Thank you." I breathed and forced my eyes to close as tears continued to stain my pale cheeks. I dimly began to wonder just how much my face resembled the face that had been my mother's when she died. Without warning, my knees buckled and I crumpled to the ground. Edward caught me before I could fully fall over into the grass, my knees throbbing from the impact of my fall. There was an odd tightening in my chest, and the pain in my stomach flared enough that I could feel bile gathering in my throat. This wasn't how I'd expected to react to visiting my mother's grave for the first time since leaving Texas. But then again, I had completely forgotten about the memories my mind had kept away from me until this moment. My mother's funeral...her final breath in MD Anderson's Cancer Center...her collapsing in the living room of our apartment while trying to call for help...

I didn't realize Edward was kneeling beside me until I was once again being pulled up against his side. I gripped his thigh for support and let myself fall against him. I didn't have to worry about him tumbling over with the sudden addition to my weight. No one could keep their balance as well as Edward could. The tears came faster and sobs took full control of my body without my consent. My mind couldn't register the changes when he lifted me off my sneakered feet and pulled me into his lap. I was dimly aware that he had sat down on the dying grass and held me protectively against his chest as I sobbed uncontrollably, my fingers curled desperately into the fabric of his shirt. "It's going to be all right, Houston." He soothed, lightly rocking our bodies back and forth as his hands slid gracefully through my hair.

All I could do was nod against his chest as my grief continued to hold me in a vice. Finally, after what felt like forever, it's hold relented and I regained some measure of control. "I'm sorry." I muttered against the hollow of his throat, keeping my face hidden in his icy neck as sobs continued to ripple through me. Now that I was more aware of my surroundings, I could tell that whatever had forced me to my knees was not solely grief-related. There was a reason I'd reacted this way to seeing my mother's grave for the very first time. "Can I ask you to do something for me?"

Edward continued to hold me against him as he rocked back and forth soothingly. "Ask me anything." He whispered into my hair and caused more physical reactions. But instead of unwanted sobbing causing my spine to curve, it was the electricity that he always conjured.

"It's going to sound stupid." I sighed and finally pulled my face up so that I could stare into the eyes of the man that'd been my husband for close to a month now. "But I want a gravestone put here. Beside my mother's. I want it added into the story that I was brought back here to be buried. No ceremony, no one crying over me. I was just put in the ground and mourned."

When I saw his expression change, I knew that I hadn't asked for anything he would be unable to give me. Of course, there was no reason that the Cullens would need to grieve. I wasn't going to die and stay dead. I wasn't going to be put in a pine box then lowered into the ground while family and what little friends I'd managed to hold onto, wept. There would only be stoic expressions and heavy sighs when the Cullens ventured back out into Forks once news of Edward's bride dying had made it through the proper channels. "Of course." His response was simple, but it served it's purpose. A new sense of calm washed over me then and I was able to climb to my feet and walk back to the car on my own. My hand wasn't released from Edward's icy grip until we were back at the hotel room he'd rented for our stay in Houston. There was no time limit, he'd explained as we made our journey from Washington to Texas by car. We could stay as long as I wanted, or actually needed. He was going to pass on the college route this time around to stay with me while I transitioned from human to vampire. He'd even made a joke out of it, asking me honestly how many degrees in medicine a vampire needed before he felt a sense of accomplishment.

I thought about that as I locked myself up in the spacious bathroom connected to the suite Edward had secured in our name. The scalding water felt more than glorious against my skin, burning just enough to remind me of my fragilty. As if I needed a reminder of that! Ducking my head under the spray, my eyes stayed shut as the water cascaded over the back of my head and over my face. But before I could sort out my thoughts and put things into their proper perspective, a sudden wave of dizziness gripped me. I flattened my hands against the tiled walls as fast as I could but it was no use. The dizziness refused to fade, instead just growing more intense as pain seared through my abdomen, thighs, and even into my chest. I began to gasp for air then, practically doubling over as the steam from the showerhead billowed around me. I just barely heard the bathroom door shake in it's frame, Edward's worried voice acting as a life preserver thrown too late to a drowning victim.

When he crashed through the door, I could have sworn that I was dreaming. Everything was slowly going black and I could feel something, my feet maybe, slipping against the slick tub floor. It was Edward's arms that prevented me from cracking my head on the chrome faucet when I lost my balance and consciousness.

* * *

It felt like forever that I was unconscious, my mind playing a million different scenes in my head. All of the pictures faded into each other, acting as some sort of timeline that comprised of my progress through my relationship with Edward. There was no denying that the end of my human life was coming, and fast. Faster than anyone could have assumed or even predicted. The images became sharper and more clear when I felt a cool hand on my forehead, then my neck. Dry hair was pushed off my flushed skin and made me sigh quietly as reality grew more and more pronounced.

"Open your eyes, love." That beautiful voice, the painstaking melody that never sounded quite right in my dreams, floated to me and gently brought me back to the surface of consciousness.

Doing as he asked, I sighed again and slowly forced my eyelids to part, my brow wrinkling almost instantly when I saw the look on Edward's perfect features. He was worried. Did I really look that bad? But then again, I _felt_ that bad. My entire body hurt, a dull ache that seemed to be humming around my major source of discomfort. Of course, the pain in my abdomen was crackling bright and powerful. I didn't want to move anytime soon as a result of that painful ball. "What...happened?" I didn't mean to sigh the words out, but I felt so tired and weak that speaking at all felt like the most painful of chores.

"You collapsed." I could hear the agony in his voice now as his hand continued to move feather-lightly over my face, neck, and shoulders. "I just barely caught you before you hit your head."

"Thank you." I sighed and succeeded in sliding onto my back as his cold hand molded against my hot cheek. My entire body felt hot, like I was laying over a blazing fire, instead of a worn, much-used mattress. "How long have I been out?"

Edward didn't speak right away. I had to force my eyes open again to make sure he was still in the room with me and a lump formed when he moved from the edge of the bed to the empty space beside my overheated body. "A couple of days." He whispered into my ear as he gently pulled me into his arms. Of course, there was a blanket blocking my body from his, but as I moved, I realized why a blanket had been wrapped tightly around me. I was completely naked underneath the coarse cotton and padding. "You developed a fever late last night."

"I'm sorry." I suddenly wailed and turned into him. My body screamed at me in pain but I ignored it, wanting to be as close to my husband as I possibly could right then. The artic scent floating off his frame was intoxicatingly inviting and I reached out to pull the blanket away so that I could fully feel his icy skin against mine. "Edward...please?" I wasn't above begging as I buried my face in his chest. It took a couple of seconds for me to realize that his upper body was bare, only his loose jeans covered his frame. "I feel like I'm on fire."

"It's the fever." He sighed heavily, but seemed to have some sort of insight into my mind. He deftly pulled the blanket from around me in one fluid movement, another movement that I couldn't see or track followed that one, then a large gasp filled my throat when I finally felt his body press against mine. This was probably the most intimate we'd ever been with one another, and it was because a fever refused to loosen its hold on me. I couldn't force my eyes open to take in his naked frame against mine. I didn't want to see how hideously imperfect I was, laying naked beside him. But Edward never seemed to waver. I was moved again, back onto my back as he gently covered as much of my flushed skin as he could with his marble, artic flesh. "That better?" He asked quietly, propping himself on one arm so he could watch my expressions change.

I exhaled a small, grateful sigh as I wrapped my body around his unconsicously. I could feel every single inch of him from where I was laying. I could feel the repetive rise and fall of his stone chest against mine, his flat stomach against my invisible abdomen, even his thighs and legs stretched over my hips then around my thighs. In any other situation, I would have blushed furiously and try to move away. After all, I could very clearly feel the part of his anatomy that made him male, against the core of my cancer-ravaged womanhood. I'd never been this close with a man before, and even with its innocence, there was a deep seed of sexuality to it all. I had no idea what he thought of me, now that my clothes were gone and I was completely exposed underneath him. I forced my eyes open, only succeeding in parting them enough to clearly make out Edward's face hovering above mine. A small smile slowly spread across my lips involuntarily and I nodded as my hands flattened over the small of his back. "Thank you." I breathed, still keeping my eyes open as I gently pressed on his back to bring him closer. It wasn't that I was trying for any sexual intimacy right then. It was simply that he was hovering over my main source of discomfort and the thought of his stomach pressed against mine would feel euphoric.

"We have to be careful." He breathed in my ear as he shifted over me again, resting his forehead against my bony shoulder as he molded the lower part of his frame more accurately over mine. "I _am_ a man, after all. And you're even more beautiful than I imagined."

A familiar warmth flooded through my cheeks, making my face feel even more hot as it blended with my fever. I kept my eyes closed as my legs curled against his even more, against my better judgement and resolve not to push him even further. He was the healthiest being on the planet, and like he'd just mentioned, a man. A man that still thirsted for the blood coursing through my veins. "You're biased." I muttered and frowned slightly, doing everything I could to push away the mental images forming behind my closed eyes. Images that consisted of Edward losing control and drinking from me. Of letting the monster that lurked beneath his golden eyes win and drag me the final distance to death's door.

"I really wish you'd see yourself the way I do." He breathed against my skin and I actually shivered when his cold breath hit my skin. Goosebumps coated my arms and chest within seconds and my shiver didn't go unnoticed by Edward. How could it, when we were so intricately molded against one another? "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." His forehead left my shoulder then and my eyes opened a little easier when I felt his gaze return to my body. I couldn't pull my eyes from his as his long fingers drifted over my collarbone. "Yes, you're exceptionally small, but I honestly didn't expect to find your body as perfect as it is. You're even more addicting to me than you were originally."

"Do we need to move?" My question came in a breathless whisper as his fingers moved lower, gently gliding over the slight swell of my tiny breasts.

"I can resist." He promised and leaned down to cover my lips with his as his touch moved down the side of my ribcage, over the curve of my abdomen, then traced the outline of my exposed hipbone. My hands seemed to follow his lead impecibly, my short nails began to trace the muscular indentions drawn in the hard skin of his back. My lips molded against his effortlessly and I sighed instinctively when the palm of his hand slid over the curve of my hips. Even though the fever and pain in my body had been in the forefront of my mind just seconds before, it now took a backseat to the sensations assaulting me. I'd been right when I called him the best painkiller I'd ever known on the night of our wedding. He was too good at making me forget just how weak I really was against him and we both seemed to know that.

Neither one of us could help ourselves as we continued to touch either. My hands never left his back, and didn't go past the swell of his butt as he continued to kiss me urgently, yet passionately. His hands didn't stray from their innocent course either, but I soon felt a new, unfamiliar ache form between my thighs. It seemed to battle with the ache in my lungs for my focus, but was also pushed aside when a gasp filled my throat. Edward's lips parted ever so slightly against mine and my mind swirled endlessly when I felt the tip of his tongue trace the outline of my lower lip. Even though we were supposed to be careful, I couldn't help myself as I pushed my body up against his forcefully. Lines were being blurred and all I could clearly focus on was that need to taste him. To have him in ever single sense and cell that made up my frame.

His lips left mine abruptly and I was practically panting as he began to kiss over my jawline, then down the side of my throat. "I should really move." He whispered, urgency floating from his powerful lips, into the low rumble of his voice. His breathing was also labored, but only out of sheer habit as his tongue glided over the scar that was still visible on the right side of my neck. The scar that was a reminder of the first time I'd ever seen the monster that hid behind his eyes.

"Yes." I whimpered and clenched my eyes shut as I forced myself to focus on how his cold lips on my feverish skin felt. I didn't want to feel anything else, I only wanted to be in the moment. I wanted to be able to pretend that I was whole and healthy, able to enjoy the attention my husband was paying to my body. But my frame seemed to have it's own agenda and I instinctively moved to curl up on my side. I didn't get very far because of Edward's invisible weight holding me to the bed, but that one movement seemed to break the trance that had fallen around us. I didn't open my eyes when he moved away from me, only curling up on my side and into a ball just seconds after he released his hold on me. The fever...the pain...the searing ache in my abdomen all came rushing back to me in one powerful wave and I felt momentarily knocked breathless as I coiled into myself. He wasn't far from me, and a small amount of relief registered in my mind as he curled up behind me, pulling me back against his chest.

"We need to get you home, Houston." He said quietly and forced my legs away from my stomach long enough to flatten his hand over my surgery scars and radiation marks. He was also becoming my favorite icepack too, the thought occured to me humorlessly. "Do you think you can handle the drive back?"

I forced myself to nod as I hid my face in the pillow under my head. I was going to have to. I needed Carlisle's expert diagnosis so that my next decision could be decided and acted out. I didn't have much longer in my human body.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


End file.
